Author Topic: Is Mitt Romney A Unicorn?  (Read 4149 times)

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Offline Smurfette Principle

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Is Mitt Romney A Unicorn?
« on: May 29, 2012, 07:10:24 pm »
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The time has come for Mitt Romney to prove it once and for all: Is he or is he not a unicorn?

Let me stipulate that I have no proof that Romney is a unicorn, and indeed I want to believe that he is not. But I have not seen proof of this because he has not released the original copy of his long-form birth certificate.

There are many others who feel as I do — 18,000 people to be precise. I first began to consider the possibility that Romney might be a unicorn when I heard that LeftAction, an online petition operation created by Democratic PR guy John Hlinko, was campaigning to get the Arizona secretary of state to certify that the presumptive Republican nominee is not a mythical beast before allowing his name to be on the presidential ballot.

“There has never been a conclusive DNA test proving that Mitt Romney is not a unicorn,” the group wrote last week. “And if Mitt Romney is or may be a unicorn, he is not Constitutionally qualified to be president.”

This entire article is beauteous and brings up some really good points.

Offline Her3tiK

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Re: Is Mitt Romney A Unicorn?
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2012, 09:24:29 pm »
This seems fair.

While we're at it, I want Dick Cheney to retroactively prove he isn't Satan.
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Offline Cataclysm

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Re: Is Mitt Romney A Unicorn?
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2012, 09:25:10 pm »
No. Unicorns are cool.

I thought the birthers were saying he was a Mexican or something.
« Last Edit: May 29, 2012, 09:52:16 pm by Lexikon »
I'd be more sympathetic if people here didn't act like they knew what they were saying when they were saying something very much wrong.

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Commenter Brendan Rizzo is an American (still living there) who really, really hates America. He used to make posts defending his country from anti-American attacks but got fed up with it all.

QueenofHearts

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Re: Is Mitt Romney A Unicorn?
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2012, 09:54:10 pm »
Well, I'm sure Romney was a unicorn before he was not a unicorn. He will probably become a unicorn again if it proves beneficial to his electability.
« Last Edit: May 29, 2012, 10:32:17 pm by QueenofHearts »

Offline Fpqxz

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Re: Is Mitt Romney A Unicorn?
« Reply #4 on: May 29, 2012, 10:38:01 pm »
That article is such bullshit.  There is no fucking way Romney is a unicorn.

Those of us in the know about these things believe Romney is a Sasquatch.  Why do you think he spends so much time getting his hair to look so perfect?  Because he is hiding the truth from his supporters.

Likewise, he speaks in a halting, unsure manner, because human speech is not natural to him.  He is accustomed to the series of grunts and moans which constitute communication among the Sasquatch elders.  Speaking English is rather difficult for him because of this, and he has trouble remember what things are called in human languages.

The people running this "Mitt Romney is a unicorn" campaign are simply controlled opposition meant to make Sasquatch-theorists look ridiculous, and throw voters off the trail of the truth.
Read some real news:  Allgov.com, JURIST

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Offline MadCatTLX

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Re: Is Mitt Romney A Unicorn?
« Reply #5 on: May 29, 2012, 11:12:50 pm »
The unicorns are insulted by this claim that Romney is one of them. Vote for a true unicorn, Twilight Sparkle, for president.









(I'm torn as to whether I should make that last pic my sig or keep the current one :P)
History is full of maniacs, my friend, men and women of intelect, highly perceptive individuals, who's brilliant minds know neither restraint nor taboo. Such notions are the devils we must slay for the edification of pony-kind. Even if said edification means violating the rules of decency, society, and rightousness itself.
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Saturn500

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Re: Is Mitt Romney A Unicorn?
« Reply #6 on: May 29, 2012, 11:16:37 pm »
The pic will be outdated in a few months. Keep the current one.

Offline Cataclysm

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Re: Is Mitt Romney A Unicorn?
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2012, 11:49:27 pm »
Make that the signature for a different forum and change it after November.

Do it again in 2016.
I'd be more sympathetic if people here didn't act like they knew what they were saying when they were saying something very much wrong.

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Commenter Brendan Rizzo is an American (still living there) who really, really hates America. He used to make posts defending his country from anti-American attacks but got fed up with it all.

Offline Random Gal

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Re: Is Mitt Romney A Unicorn?
« Reply #8 on: May 30, 2012, 04:07:38 pm »
The Constitution only specifies that you must be at least 35 and a natural-born citizen to qualify for the presidency, though. I don't think being human was listed as a requirement, so as long as they meet the other requirements a unicorn or a sasquatch could theoretically run for president.

Offline DarkfireTaimatsu

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Re: Is Mitt Romney A Unicorn?
« Reply #9 on: May 30, 2012, 04:10:50 pm »
Twilight Sparkle being on the ballot is about the only thing that could convince me to give a damn about the electoral process and/or register to vote.
A limerick:

There once was a unicorn who would shove
His rainbows around like a dove
"Always I'll be with you
And then make-believe with you
Harmony, Harmony, oh love"

Offline MadCatTLX

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Re: Is Mitt Romney A Unicorn?
« Reply #10 on: May 30, 2012, 04:37:22 pm »
This is the unicorn's response to Mitt Romney. (Somewhat NSFW)

(click to show/hide)

The unicorn pictured is Lyra Heartstrings (the one famous for sitting like a human on a bench).
History is full of maniacs, my friend, men and women of intelect, highly perceptive individuals, who's brilliant minds know neither restraint nor taboo. Such notions are the devils we must slay for the edification of pony-kind. Even if said edification means violating the rules of decency, society, and rightousness itself.
                                                                                                                                                             -Twilight Sparkle, MAGIC.mov

Offline DarkfireTaimatsu

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Re: Is Mitt Romney A Unicorn?
« Reply #11 on: May 31, 2012, 12:11:04 am »
This is the unicorn's response to Mitt Romney. (Somewhat NSFW)

(click to show/hide)

The unicorn pictured is Lyra Heartstrings (the one famous for sitting like a human on a bench).

This is the most disturbing picture of Lyra I've ever seen, and I've seen the fuckplush.

It's probably just the art style, though.
A limerick:

There once was a unicorn who would shove
His rainbows around like a dove
"Always I'll be with you
And then make-believe with you
Harmony, Harmony, oh love"

Offline Witchyjoshy

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Re: Is Mitt Romney A Unicorn?
« Reply #12 on: May 31, 2012, 02:10:29 am »
This is the unicorn's response to Mitt Romney. (Somewhat NSFW)

(click to show/hide)

The unicorn pictured is Lyra Heartstrings (the one famous for sitting like a human on a bench).
and I've seen the fuckplush.

BWAAAAGh why the fuck did you remind me of that?
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Offline DarkfireTaimatsu

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Re: Is Mitt Romney A Unicorn?
« Reply #13 on: May 31, 2012, 02:41:49 am »
This is the unicorn's response to Mitt Romney. (Somewhat NSFW)

(click to show/hide)

The unicorn pictured is Lyra Heartstrings (the one famous for sitting like a human on a bench).
and I've seen the fuckplush.

BWAAAAGh why the fuck did you remind me of that?

Because people have been mocking it, and it's funny now instead of horrifying.
A limerick:

There once was a unicorn who would shove
His rainbows around like a dove
"Always I'll be with you
And then make-believe with you
Harmony, Harmony, oh love"

Offline Cerim Treascair

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Re: Is Mitt Romney A Unicorn?
« Reply #14 on: May 31, 2012, 02:16:32 pm »
Must... not... post... hilarious pictures...
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