Author Topic: Alex Jones loses Custody, claims he makes everything up.  (Read 930 times)

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Offline Skybison

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Alex Jones loses Custody, claims he makes everything up.
« on: April 28, 2017, 07:43:16 pm »
Alex Jones lost a custody battle with his ex-wife today, after she argued that he was too bugfuck insane to raise children.

Alex Jones lawyers argued throughout the trial that Alex Jones should be allowed to keep custody because his on air persona is all an act and that he doesn't really believe all this truther crap and he's just trying to make a buck off gullible people (not in so many words, but pretty much).

Ex-wife on the other hand claimed that he's not a fake, and that he acts off camera exactly the same way he does on it.  Paranoid, bigoted, constant uncontrollable temper tantrums and frequently stripping naked for no reason, including at family therapy sessions.

The jury ultimately sided with ex-wife, possibly because Alex couldn't remember basic facts about his children and justified this by saying he'd just eaten a big bowl of chili.  Or maybe it was him claiming that he'd had sex with 150 women before the age of 16.

I'm curious how Alex Jones fans will react to their hero saying he's a conman bilking them.

Offline Art Vandelay

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Re: Alex Jones loses Custody, claims he makes everything up.
« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2017, 07:56:14 pm »
I'm curious how Alex Jones fans will react to their hero saying he's a conman bilking them.
False flag. Duh.

Online dpareja

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Re: Alex Jones loses Custody, claims he makes everything up.
« Reply #2 on: April 28, 2017, 08:03:42 pm »
Apparently he recorded a piece in his car where he oscillated between insisting that it was all real and that he believed every word he said and insisting that it was all an act and he was just a performance artist.
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Online ironbite

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Re: Alex Jones loses Custody, claims he makes everything up.
« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2017, 08:21:15 pm »
That's one of the Orange Piss Pot's main media advisors btw.

Ironbite-wonder how fast he gets dropped.

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: Alex Jones loses Custody, claims he makes everything up.
« Reply #4 on: April 28, 2017, 09:17:07 pm »
frequently stripping naked for no reason, including at family therapy sessions.
Damnit, now there's going to be extremely fucked-up slashfic and porn of this!

Offline The_Queen

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Re: Alex Jones loses Custody, claims he makes everything up.
« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2017, 09:32:28 pm »
Alex will survive, cause he's more than a man's man, he's a man's man's man. A man-cube. When he was 16, he didn't want to party anymore. He didn't want to play games anymore. He grew up. He already been in fights, all the big rituals. He hates to brag, he's actually not bragging, it's shameful. He probably had 150 women or more. That's conservative. He'd had over 150 women. He'd already been in fights with full-grown men. He was already dating college-girls by the time he was 15 years old. He was already a man.

Alex got this.
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Offline Skybison

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Re: Alex Jones loses Custody, claims he makes everything up.
« Reply #6 on: April 28, 2017, 10:35:12 pm »
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdCFz8qPt8Y" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdCFz8qPt8Y</a>

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Re: Alex Jones loses Custody, claims he makes everything up.
« Reply #7 on: April 29, 2017, 03:10:58 pm »
Alex will survive, cause he's more than a man's man, he's a man's man's man. A man-cube. When he was 16, he didn't want to party anymore. He didn't want to play games anymore. He grew up. He already been in fights, all the big rituals. He hates to brag, he's actually not bragging, it's shameful. He probably had 150 women or more. That's conservative. He'd had over 150 women. He'd already been in fights with full-grown men. He was already dating college-girls by the time he was 15 years old. He was already a man.

Alex got this.

Donald Trump stop hacking in to Queen's forum account.

Offline Askold

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Re: Alex Jones loses Custody, claims he makes everything up.
« Reply #8 on: April 29, 2017, 03:33:57 pm »
Mr. Jones was apparently really calm despite losing his kids. Seeing as this is the guy who tears off his shirt and cries like a baby over things like Obama winning the elections or chemtrails and such I have come to the conclusion that he probably doesn't care about his kids much.

I mean, I was at least expecting something like this:
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVoVIyL-ERU" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVoVIyL-ERU</a>
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Offline Skybison

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Re: Alex Jones loses Custody, claims he makes everything up.
« Reply #9 on: April 29, 2017, 05:49:29 pm »
Maybe he just ate some more Chili and forgot what the trial was about.

Offline Skybison

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Re: Alex Jones loses Custody, claims he makes everything up.
« Reply #10 on: April 29, 2017, 10:59:07 pm »
Oh check out Alex Jones post trial press conference, where he attacks the Fake News for not focusing on the imminent threat of chimeras and Spider-goats.

http://www.rawstory.com/2017/04/watch-alex-jones-holds-bonkers-press-conference-to-rip-reporters-and-warn-about-human-animal-chimeras/

Offline niam2023

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Re: Alex Jones loses Custody, claims he makes everything up.
« Reply #11 on: April 29, 2017, 11:38:43 pm »
Spider-goat, spider-goat, does whatever a spider-goat does...
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Offline The_Queen

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Re: Alex Jones loses Custody, claims he makes everything up.
« Reply #12 on: April 30, 2017, 04:19:51 pm »
Oh check out Alex Jones post trial press conference, where he attacks the Fake News for not focusing on the imminent threat of chimeras and Spider-goats.

http://www.rawstory.com/2017/04/watch-alex-jones-holds-bonkers-press-conference-to-rip-reporters-and-warn-about-human-animal-chimeras/

Sounds like a bad episode of Scooby Doo which ends with the Scooby Gang unmasking the spider-goat Chimera to reveal Milo Yiannopoulos.
Does anyone take Donald Trump seriously, anymore?

Offline niam2023

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Re: Alex Jones loses Custody, claims he makes everything up.
« Reply #13 on: May 01, 2017, 02:45:26 am »
Fred: Okay, this is completely inexplicable. What does a conservative provocateur have to gain by---

Milo: Well you see, I figured if I dressed up as the spider goat chimera, I could scare Steve Bannon into coming back to his job, and due to our friendly relationship he would hire me back, this would then be followed by doing a story on the menace of the chimera monsters using information I could only get by secretly being one of them and thus become the chief chimera research journalist in the Trump Administration! Would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling cucksters and your great dane!

-police drag him away-

Fred: ...and here I thought Avocados' plan was needlessly complicated...
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Offline pyro

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Re: Alex Jones loses Custody, claims he makes everything up.
« Reply #14 on: May 01, 2017, 08:10:04 pm »
[rewritten to actually match the character's syntax]

Fred: Now, let's see who this so-called spider goat really is. [takes off mask, revealing Milo's face]

Fred, Daphne, and Shaggy in unison: Milo Yiannopoulos?!

Scooby: Rut?!

Velma: I knew it had to be Milo when, after clobbering Daph, the "spider goat" ran off blushing into the men's bathroom. He's the only one here sexually repressed enough to have that kind of reaction.

[Daphne crosses her arms, muttering "creep" to herself]

Shaggy: But, why would Milo want to wreck a video game conference?

Velma: That's why this whole thing started on the last day. It's not the video game conference that Milo wanted to ruin. He wanted to scare off the "women in tech" conference that's happening tomorrow. Nobody would be suspicious of Milo being at the video game conference, but if he tried to attend tomorrow's conference, he would have been kicked out before he could even start using his "spider goat" gimmick.

Milo: Gimmick?!

Policeman: Well, where he's going, men and women get their own separate prisons, just like you'd want it.

Milo (muttering to himself): And I got caught by a girl, too.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2017, 08:14:24 pm by pyro »
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