Author Topic: Fundraising begging letter doing the rounds  (Read 6356 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Podkayne

  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 268
Fundraising begging letter doing the rounds
« on: March 05, 2012, 06:20:27 am »
Did you guys know all this?

Quote
Dear ************,

I’ve never had such a difficult decision…

I desperately need your advice.

You see, the homosexual onslaught is relentless.

They’ve been attacking on every front for months and your Public Advocate is worn to the bone.

PZ, I’m worn to the bone.

During the holidays, I could barely take time away to spend with my family.  Their attacks were so relentless.

And because I just barely reached my end-of-year fundraising goals, the radical Homosexual Lobby smells blood in the water.

Over the past month, they’ve launched a tidal wave attack to ram through their entire agenda — while I can barely fight back…

And now…

Now I’m forced to make a decision.

You see, the Homosexual Lobby is pushing three main planks in their campaign to reshape America:

1) The Homosexual Classrooms Act, requiring every school — even private and religious schools — to teach appalling homosexual acts.

This legislation would spin impressionable students in a whirlwind of sexual confusion and misinformation, even peer pressure to “experiment” with the homosexual “lifestyle;”

2) The Offense to Marriage Act, repealing the Defense of Marriage Act which has stood for over a decade against the Homosexual Lobby.

If passed, wedding gown-clad men smooching before some left-wing clergyman or state official is just the beginning.

You’ll see men hand-in-hand skipping down to adoption centers to “pick out” a little boy for themselves.

And religious adoption agencies? SHUT DOWN.

3) The Gay Bill of Special Rights, granting special job rights to homosexuals. Every homosexual fired or not hired becomes a potential federal civil rights lawsuit.

Radical homosexuals will terrorize day cares, hospitals and churches.

Traditional moral values will be shattered by federal decree.

My friend, all of these bills are grave threats to morality and the Family… I just don’t know which to fight.

That’s why your advice is so critical.

Which do you consider the biggest threat?

Please click here and complete the Membership Poll with your advice as soon as possible.

You see, without your advice, I don’t feel comfortable pulling resources from one fight to another.

But if enough members like you tell me that one or two of these bills represent the greatest threat to you personally, I can move forward knowing I’m doing the right thing.

Of course, fighting just one will cost precious resources.

In fact, if I’m to effectively defeat even one of these bills, I’m going to need an immediate influx of funds.

That’s why along with your advice, I desperately need you to contribute financially so that your Public Advocate is strong enough to defeat the Homosexual Lobby.

If the Homosexual Lobby succeeds in reshaping America in their image, the values you and I hold dear will be lost forever.

The ultimate goal of every radical Homosexual Activist is to create a new America where sexual promiscuity is the new norm, and traditional values are long forgotten.

You and I can’t let them succeed.

I’ve prepared a massive grassroots lobbying campaign to defeat these bills.

The plans are all there ready to go…

I just need you to click here and tell me which one!

But that still leaves all the costs…

Defeating just one of these bills will take tens, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars.

I’ve currently budgeted around $35,000 for each fight.

But that’s not nearly enough…

Are you a business owner who refuses to submit to the threat of lawsuits by defeating the Gay Bill of Special Rights?

Or are you a parent or grandparent who desperately wants to protect the innocence of the next generation by defeating the Homosexual Classrooms Act?

Or are you passionate about preserving the sanctity of REAL marriage by making sure the Offense of Marriage Act NEVER repeals the Defense of Marriage Act?

Will you help me raise what Public Advocate needs to win?

In order to make sure the Homosexual Classrooms Act NEVER becomes law, I’ve calculated that I need you and a majority of other pro-family Americans to contribute $50 right away.

But there’s also the Gay Bill of Special Rights and the Offense of Marriage Act… We have to fight those too!

If you’re like me, nothing short of fighting AND DEFEATING every single one of these bills will ever be enough!

But for you and I to win I need you to give more than ever.

I’ve calculated that winning every one of these battles will require you and other supporters to give $150, or even $200 each.

Can I count on you to give that today?

Please chip in your contribution, along with your Membership Poll with your advice on which battle is most important to you.

Whether your most generous contribution is $50, $100, or $150; give what you can to keep the Family strong.

Thank you, in advance.

Yours for the family,

Eugene Delgaudio
President, Public Advocate of the United States
P.S. I desperately need your advice.

You see, the Homosexual Lobby is pushing three main planks: the Gay Bill of Special Rights, the Offense of Marriage Act, and the Homosexual Classrooms Act.

Please complete your Membership Poll advising which of these bills you believe is the greatest threat; along with your contribution of $50 to ensure we can defeat it.

Or if you’re like me and you want to win every one of these fights, please send $150, or even $200 along with your advice right away!

In my inbox, apparently several others too, signed up to religious discussion sites.
Don't make vague, generic threats, or else!

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 3716
  • Have you got thumbs? SHOW ME YOUR FUCKING THUMBS!
Re: Fundraising begging letter doing the rounds
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2012, 07:11:44 am »
This part:

Quote
PZ, I’m worn to the bone.

Made me think he was addressing this guy.



Way to pick your target audience there!

Offline Podkayne

  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 268
Re: Fundraising begging letter doing the rounds
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2012, 07:14:05 am »
This part:

Quote
PZ, I’m worn to the bone.

Made me think he was addressing this guy.



Way to pick your target audience there!
I read it as a mistype of plz, but apparently Myers got one as well.
Don't make vague, generic threats, or else!

Offline erictheblue

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 679
Re: Fundraising begging letter doing the rounds
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2012, 07:37:51 am »
Quote
Eugene Delgaudio
President, Public Advocate of the United States

Is it just me, or does that organization sound like it is an official government agency?
[Anonymous is] like... an internet Cthulu... you don't want to rouse them, but at the same time... woah think of the beautiful chaos! - SpaceProg

Offline Podkayne

  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 268
Re: Fundraising begging letter doing the rounds
« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2012, 07:44:41 am »
Quote
Eugene Delgaudio
President, Public Advocate of the United States

Is it just me, or does that organization sound like it is an official government agency?
I hadn't noticed that, but yeah.
Don't make vague, generic threats, or else!

Offline Shane for Wax

  • Official Mosin Nagant Fanboy, Crazy, and Lord of Androgynes
  • Kakarot
  • ******
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
  • Gender: Male
  • Twin to shy, lover of weapons, pagan, wolf-brother
    • Game Podunk
Re: Fundraising begging letter doing the rounds
« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2012, 07:59:16 am »
Quote
Eugene Delgaudio
President, Public Advocate of the United States

Is it just me, or does that organization sound like it is an official government agency?

Ahem. They're not an official government agency of anyone.

ETA- I have not received any such email. If I have, it's been tossed in my spam.
« Last Edit: March 05, 2012, 08:04:55 am by Shane for Wax »

&
"The human race. Greatest monsters of them all."
"Ke barjurir gar'ade, jagyc'ade kot'la a dalyc'ade kotla'shya."
Fucking Dalek twats I’m going to twat you over the head with my fucking TARDIS you fucking fucks!

Offline TenfoldMaquette

  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 333
Re: Fundraising begging letter doing the rounds
« Reply #6 on: March 05, 2012, 10:08:50 am »
Wow, that's...one very big pile of bullshit.

Offline Witchyjoshy

  • SHITLORD THUNDERBASTARD!!
  • Kakarot
  • ******
  • Posts: 9044
  • Gender: Male
  • Thinks he's a bard
Re: Fundraising begging letter doing the rounds
« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2012, 03:29:17 pm »
...

*stomp*

*angry snort*

*leaves in a huff*
Mockery of ideas you don't comprehend or understand is the surest mark of unintelligence.

Even the worst union is better than the best Walmart.

Caladur's Active Character Sheet

Offline Old Viking

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1454
  • Gender: Male
  • Occasionally peevish
Re: Fundraising begging letter doing the rounds
« Reply #8 on: March 05, 2012, 03:42:27 pm »
... please send $150, or even $200 along with your advice ...

Thanks for the opportunity, but for the time being I'll offer only the advice.  It's three words. Starts with "Go" and ends with "yourself."  Try to guess the middle.
I am an old man, and I've seen many problems, most of which never happened.

Distind

  • Guest
Re: Fundraising begging letter doing the rounds
« Reply #9 on: March 05, 2012, 04:43:48 pm »
If read in the Mr. Slave voice with appropriate exclaimations added after every reference to the 'relentless homosexual assault' this is pretty fucking entertaining.

Offline erictheblue

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 679
Re: Fundraising begging letter doing the rounds
« Reply #10 on: March 05, 2012, 04:48:55 pm »
Quote
Eugene Delgaudio
President, Public Advocate of the United States

Is it just me, or does that organization sound like it is an official government agency?

Ahem. They're not an official government agency of anyone.

I know. I wasn't trying to say "and this is an official government agency!" I meant it as "I have to wonder if these people are intentionally making themselves sound like an official government agency. Sorry for the confusion.  :-[
[Anonymous is] like... an internet Cthulu... you don't want to rouse them, but at the same time... woah think of the beautiful chaos! - SpaceProg

Offline Thejebusfire

  • Holy Smoke! A Proper Southern Lady!
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2966
  • Gender: Female
Re: Fundraising begging letter doing the rounds
« Reply #11 on: March 05, 2012, 05:20:15 pm »
Quote
The ultimate goal of every radical Homosexual Activist is to create a new America where sexual promiscuity is the new norm, and traditional values are long forgotten.

You mean they're not letting you treat them like shit anymore?


Offline Shane for Wax

  • Official Mosin Nagant Fanboy, Crazy, and Lord of Androgynes
  • Kakarot
  • ******
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
  • Gender: Male
  • Twin to shy, lover of weapons, pagan, wolf-brother
    • Game Podunk
Re: Fundraising begging letter doing the rounds
« Reply #12 on: March 05, 2012, 08:45:20 pm »
Quote
Eugene Delgaudio
President, Public Advocate of the United States

Is it just me, or does that organization sound like it is an official government agency?

Ahem. They're not an official government agency of anyone.

I know. I wasn't trying to say "and this is an official government agency!" I meant it as "I have to wonder if these people are intentionally making themselves sound like an official government agency. Sorry for the confusion.  :-[

Is fine. Provided information on these jokers anyways. I'm sure there's some great material for the mainpage!

&
"The human race. Greatest monsters of them all."
"Ke barjurir gar'ade, jagyc'ade kot'la a dalyc'ade kotla'shya."
Fucking Dalek twats I’m going to twat you over the head with my fucking TARDIS you fucking fucks!

Offline e13

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 666
  • Gender: Male
  • Fabulousity is at 100%!
Re: Fundraising begging letter doing the rounds
« Reply #13 on: March 06, 2012, 11:40:02 am »
~le sigh~!  ::)

Just Having Some Tea, Hanging With My Friends...

Offline TheL

  • The Cock Teasing Teacher
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2220
  • Gender: Female
  • Fly like cheese sticks.
Re: Fundraising begging letter doing the rounds
« Reply #14 on: March 06, 2012, 04:59:55 pm »
"Half the reason that I like foreign music is because I can kid myself that "Shake dat ass" is more poetic in Hindi."
--Sanda

Move every 'sig.'  For great justice!