« previous next »
Pages: [1] 2   Go Down

Author Topic: The Obamas are Clones!  (Read 4049 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Rabbit of Caerbannog

  • He's Got Great Big Teeth and the Holy Hand Grenade!
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2919
  • Gender: Male
  • Hit me with your best shot! Fire awaaaay!
The Obamas are Clones!
« on: February 09, 2012, 06:19:04 pm »
According to a man who goes by the name "Freeman", Barack Obama is the clone of the late, great Pharoah Akhenaten, while Michelle Obama is clearly a clone of Akhenaten's mother, Queen Tiye. Of course, that means we're not just dealing with a foreign-born Egyptian clone President, but also foreign-born Egyptian clone President incest.


Visual approximation.

So between that and his Kenyan birth and his trip to Mars by way of a government "jump room", I'm not quite sure what to say. Think I'll go hit the vodka pretty hard.
« Last Edit: February 09, 2012, 08:51:17 pm by Rabbit of Caerbannog »
Logged

Offline Eniliad

  • Sword And Shield Of The Innocent
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1265
  • Gender: Male
  • Perpetually horny cock-slave
Re: The Obamas are Clones!
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2012, 06:32:49 pm »
Great, my ass! Akhenaten took a shitload of his people into the middle of a desert as part of a cult to Ra (and only Ra), and let the entire rest of the country go to shit because he didn't care about them. After he died, they vandalized his name in the wall of Pharaohs past. It would be like if Bush was so bad, we erased him from the list of previous presidents.

The only good thing to come out of that fucker was Tutankhamen, and the only thing he did noteworthy was die at 18 and be discovered with his tomb un-robbed.
Logged
<Miles> "If dildoes are outlawed then only outlaws will have dildoes."
Quote from: Mlle Antéchrist
Yeah, gays cause hurricanes, tits cause earthquakes, and lack of prayer causes tornadoes. Learn to science, people.
Quote from: Mlle Antéchrist
Porn peddlers peddling pedal porn? My life is complete.

Offline Rabbit of Caerbannog

  • He's Got Great Big Teeth and the Holy Hand Grenade!
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2919
  • Gender: Male
  • Hit me with your best shot! Fire awaaaay!
Re: The Obamas are Clones!
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2012, 06:35:20 pm »
Quote from: Eniliad on February 09, 2012, 06:32:49 pm
Great, my ass! Akhenaten took a shitload of his people into the middle of a desert as part of a cult to Ra (and only Ra), and let the entire rest of the country go to shit because he didn't care about them. After he died, they vandalized his name in the wall of Pharaohs past. It would be like if Bush was so bad, we erased him from the list of previous presidents.

The only good thing to come out of that fucker was Tutankhamen, and the only thing he did noteworthy was die at 18 and be discovered with his tomb un-robbed.
...I wasn't actually serious about him being "great."  :P
Logged

Offline Old Viking

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1454
  • Gender: Male
  • Occasionally peevish
Re: The Obamas are Clones!
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2012, 06:37:31 pm »
Makes as much sense as any of the other Obama theories.
Logged
I am an old man, and I've seen many problems, most of which never happened.

Offline Eniliad

  • Sword And Shield Of The Innocent
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1265
  • Gender: Male
  • Perpetually horny cock-slave
Re: The Obamas are Clones!
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2012, 06:40:03 pm »
Sorry Rabbit, I didn't mean that as angry. ;) It's just rare I get to display my Ancient Egyptian knowledge.

Anyway, yeah, makes as much sense as any other Obama theory.
Logged
<Miles> "If dildoes are outlawed then only outlaws will have dildoes."
Quote from: Mlle Antéchrist
Yeah, gays cause hurricanes, tits cause earthquakes, and lack of prayer causes tornadoes. Learn to science, people.
Quote from: Mlle Antéchrist
Porn peddlers peddling pedal porn? My life is complete.

Offline Shane for Wax

  • Official Mosin Nagant Fanboy, Crazy, and Lord of Androgynes
  • Kakarot
  • ******
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
  • Gender: Male
  • Twin to shy, lover of weapons, pagan, wolf-brother
    • Game Podunk
Re: The Obamas are Clones!
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2012, 06:52:49 pm »
...Ra?



Logged

&
"The human race. Greatest monsters of them all."
"Ke barjurir gar'ade, jagyc'ade kot'la a dalyc'ade kotla'shya."
Fucking Dalek twats I’m going to twat you over the head with my fucking TARDIS you fucking fucks!

Offline MadCatTLX

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2095
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Obamas are Clones!
« Reply #6 on: February 09, 2012, 07:54:03 pm »
Logged
History is full of maniacs, my friend, men and women of intelect, highly perceptive individuals, who's brilliant minds know neither restraint nor taboo. Such notions are the devils we must slay for the edification of pony-kind. Even if said edification means violating the rules of decency, society, and rightousness itself.
                                                                                                                                                             -Twilight Sparkle, MAGIC.mov

Offline booley

  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 384
  • Gender: Male
  • Grand High Viceroy of the Eastern Expanses
Re: The Obamas are Clones!
« Reply #7 on: February 09, 2012, 08:11:57 pm »
Yes of course.

Seeing as how there is an infinite number of facial features in the human species, it seems perfectly logical for parties unknown who clearly have genetic technology far  ahead of our own (and had this technology at least 9 years before Watson and Crick isolated DNA) to recreate, out of the multitude of historical figures they could bring back,  a guy who probably had Froelich's syndrome (which actually makes him look LESS like Obama) and doesn't seem to have had much other effect on history then being a douche.

Yeah, that's perfectly logical.
Logged
“The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views...which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering.”
The Doctor

Offline Smurfette Principle

  • Will Blind You With Library Science!
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1639
  • Gender: Female
  • Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.
Re: The Obamas are Clones!
« Reply #8 on: February 09, 2012, 08:44:19 pm »
Just as logical as the USSR knowing, three years before the Civil Rights Act, that a particular mixed-race baby would get elected president, and so deliberately made sure that he was secretly born in Kenya in order to destabilize the country from within.
Logged

Offline Lithp

  • Official FSTDT Spokesman
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1339
Re: The Obamas are Clones!
« Reply #9 on: February 09, 2012, 08:47:22 pm »
Quote
Of course, that means we're not just dealing with a foreign-born Egyptian clone President, but also foreign-born Egyptian clone President incest.

I always knew this day would come.
Logged

Offline Askold

  • Definitely not hiding a dark secret.
  • Global Moderator
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 8358
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Obamas are Clones!
« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2012, 02:11:48 am »
Quote from: Lithp on February 09, 2012, 08:47:22 pm
Quote
Of course, that means we're not just dealing with a foreign-born Egyptian clone President, but also foreign-born Egyptian clone President incest.

I always knew this day would come.

IT IS AS IT WAS FORETOLD! The next stage in this evil plan is to make US schools teach egyptian arabia to children so that 37 years later when the clone of Richard Nixon learn the language of egypt so that he can become their president. (Although he will be born in USA he will be smuggled to egypt as a  child after learning the language.) That will be the next stage of this needlessly complicated plan to produce a sequel to "The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension!"
Logged
Quote from: sandman on May 30, 2012, 08:27:43 am
No matter what happens, no matter what my last words may end up being, I want everyone to claim that they were:
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
Quote from: SpaceProg on November 30, 2012, 10:21:56 pm
Aww, you guys rock. :)  I feel the love... and the pitchforks and torches.  Tingly!

Offline Scotsgit

  • Is Reenacting Reality or Reality Reenacting?
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 814
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Obamas are Clones!
« Reply #11 on: February 10, 2012, 04:26:30 am »
Quote from: Smurfette Principle on February 09, 2012, 08:44:19 pm
Just as logical as the USSR knowing, three years before the Civil Rights Act, that a particular mixed-race baby would get elected president, and so deliberately made sure that he was secretly born in Kenya in order to destabilize the country from within.

Which could only happen because said baby was on THE GRASSY KNOLL!!1!!!  WITH CIA ASSASSINS WITH TECHNOLOGY THEY STOLE FROM ROSWELL!!!!111!

I've got £5 that says everyone who believes this wears a tin foil hat.
Logged
I am serious, and stop calling me Shirley!

Offline Witchyjoshy

  • SHITLORD THUNDERBASTARD!!
  • Kakarot
  • ******
  • Posts: 9044
  • Gender: Male
  • Thinks he's a bard
Re: The Obamas are Clones!
« Reply #12 on: February 10, 2012, 06:37:21 am »
I for one welcome our Egyptian overlords.
Logged
Mockery of ideas you don't comprehend or understand is the surest mark of unintelligence.

Even the worst union is better than the best Walmart.

Caladur's Active Character Sheet

Offline Podkayne

  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 268
Re: The Obamas are Clones!
« Reply #13 on: February 10, 2012, 07:46:21 am »
Logged
Don't make vague, generic threats, or else!

Offline Shane for Wax

  • Official Mosin Nagant Fanboy, Crazy, and Lord of Androgynes
  • Kakarot
  • ******
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
  • Gender: Male
  • Twin to shy, lover of weapons, pagan, wolf-brother
    • Game Podunk
Re: The Obamas are Clones!
« Reply #14 on: February 10, 2012, 09:42:07 am »
Logged

&
"The human race. Greatest monsters of them all."
"Ke barjurir gar'ade, jagyc'ade kot'la a dalyc'ade kotla'shya."
Fucking Dalek twats I’m going to twat you over the head with my fucking TARDIS you fucking fucks!
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
« previous next »