Author Topic: Single sex dorms makes it harder to prevent rape  (Read 11451 times)

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Offline N. De Plume

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Re: Single sex dorms makes it harder to prevent rape
« Reply #15 on: February 13, 2012, 01:44:00 pm »
I don't plan to get married or have sex anytime soon.  This is of course not because of purity, but because I'm poor and don't know any single ladies who want to fuck me.  I refuse to be part of an affair.
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Offline Smurfette Principle

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Re: Single sex dorms makes it harder to prevent rape
« Reply #16 on: February 13, 2012, 02:21:24 pm »
I know one friend of mine who is saving herself for marriage. She's done everything else besides penetrative sex, but yeah. The way she explained it to me was, "Well, if you do everything else before marriage, then what's the point of marriage?" I can see where she's coming from, but I want to get married so I can have more sex (in private, in more places, with the knowledge of my parents, without people thinking I'm an unmarried whore), so I can't really judge.

Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: Single sex dorms makes it harder to prevent rape
« Reply #17 on: February 13, 2012, 02:37:48 pm »
I know one friend of mine who is saving herself for marriage. She's done everything else besides penetrative sex, but yeah. The way she explained it to me was, "Well, if you do everything else before marriage, then what's the point of marriage?" I can see where she's coming from, but I want to get married so I can have more sex (in private, in more places, with the knowledge of my parents, without people thinking I'm an unmarried whore), so I can't really judge.

Haha.  Well, I hope that sex isn't the only reason you're marrying.  As others have pointed out, that's a pretty flimsy foundation for marriage. :P
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Offline Smurfette Principle

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Re: Single sex dorms makes it harder to prevent rape
« Reply #18 on: February 13, 2012, 04:11:59 pm »
I know one friend of mine who is saving herself for marriage. She's done everything else besides penetrative sex, but yeah. The way she explained it to me was, "Well, if you do everything else before marriage, then what's the point of marriage?" I can see where she's coming from, but I want to get married so I can have more sex (in private, in more places, with the knowledge of my parents, without people thinking I'm an unmarried whore), so I can't really judge.

Haha.  Well, I hope that sex isn't the only reason you're marrying.  As others have pointed out, that's a pretty flimsy foundation for marriage. :P

Well, I also want to get married so I can spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend and have kids and all sorts of romantic stuff, but mostly sex. :D

Offline TheL

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Re: Single sex dorms makes it harder to prevent rape
« Reply #19 on: February 13, 2012, 11:38:09 pm »
The more you try and prevent people form doing things that more they will want to do them.

This.

Purity balls and strict courtship rules are the reason why the Facebook group "I Can't Wait to Get Married so that I Can Have Sex!!" exists.

Yes, it is devoted entirely to talking about sex.  But since you're talking about marital sex, it somehow ceases to be a sin that you're lusting your little gonads out.
Is that a real facebook group?

Enjoy.  Or not.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2012, 11:39:44 pm by TheL »
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Re: Single sex dorms makes it harder to prevent rape
« Reply #20 on: February 13, 2012, 11:44:21 pm »
It says there's only one member. LOL

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Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Single sex dorms makes it harder to prevent rape
« Reply #21 on: February 15, 2012, 02:57:59 am »
The more you try and prevent people form doing things that more they will want to do them.

Yes, it's amazing the number of people that don't understand this.
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Offline Sleepy

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Re: Single sex dorms makes it harder to prevent rape
« Reply #22 on: February 15, 2012, 06:21:43 pm »
Is that a real facebook group?

Enjoy.  Or not.

Good grief, people are pathetic.

Quote
so i was talking to this boy who i think is way dreamy, well, i guess he is a man now that he is like 30 something, but anyways he and i were talking about god and stuff and he was telling me that in the bible they are just talking about sex between boys and girls with their private parts and that everything else (including the behind!!) is technically okay but i didn't believe him and i told him he was wrong plus i will never let anything back there because that is exit only and i have no prostate and plus, just ewwwie! and no. so like, now he won't date me even though we like totally had this bond. doesn't that suck! i'm so glad i don't think i let him go to second base
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Offline MaybeNever

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Re: Single sex dorms makes it harder to prevent rape
« Reply #23 on: February 16, 2012, 04:45:55 am »
I know one friend of mine who is saving herself for marriage. She's done everything else besides penetrative sex, but yeah. The way she explained it to me was, "Well, if you do everything else before marriage, then what's the point of marriage?" I can see where she's coming from, but I want to get married so I can have more sex (in private, in more places, with the knowledge of my parents, without people thinking I'm an unmarried whore), so I can't really judge.

I really don't see where she's coming from. Marriage is absolutely and in all cases a civil institution, period. Exclamation point, even. There's no difference between two people who had a priest say some words over them and two people who did not, but there is a difference - a big one - between two people who have not signed a marriage contract and two people who have. Several hundred legal rights and privileges, for instance.

The more you try and prevent people form doing things that more they will want to do them.

Yes, it's amazing the number of people that don't understand this.

It seems a bit naive to say that this isn't understood in the context of religion (although I'm sure there are many who don't understand it). I think it is more the case that this consequence is not seen as an issue. Feel more urge to do it? Satan's testing you. Makes overcoming the urge all the sweeter, right?


and makes a deal with him that she won't seek child support if he'll sign away all parental rights to the kid and promises never to try seeing him or her ever again.
Careful, I think such a deal is legally worthless.

Signing away parental rights is legal, but it's usually done when giving a child up for adoption.  As I understand it, she did go through Social Services to do this legally and it wasn't just an agreement amongst themselves.  It supposedly released him of ever having to pay child support.  It also cleared the way for any future husband she may have to legally adopt the child.

It's legal, but it virtually never holds up in court. There have been cases in which men who signed away such rights were compelled to pay child support anyway. Of course, there is also at least one case I know of where a man proved via paternity test that a child was not his, and still had to pay child support.
« Last Edit: February 16, 2012, 05:28:51 am by MaybeNever »
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Offline Star Cluster

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Re: Single sex dorms makes it harder to prevent rape
« Reply #24 on: February 16, 2012, 08:59:57 am »
and makes a deal with him that she won't seek child support if he'll sign away all parental rights to the kid and promises never to try seeing him or her ever again.
Careful, I think such a deal is legally worthless.

Signing away parental rights is legal, but it's usually done when giving a child up for adoption.  As I understand it, she did go through Social Services to do this legally and it wasn't just an agreement amongst themselves.  It supposedly released him of ever having to pay child support.  It also cleared the way for any future husband she may have to legally adopt the child.

It's legal, but it virtually never holds up in court. There have been cases in which men who signed away such rights were compelled to pay child support anyway. Of course, there is also at least one case I know of where a man proved via paternity test that a child was not his, and still had to pay child support.

Okay, I finally was able to word it in such a manner in a google search to get some pertinent information.  It does appear that in our state, such an agreement is virtually worthless if she decided she wanted him to pay child support.  So it is basically a "gentleman's agreement," as it were, between the two of them.  But in this case, I really don't see that happening.  She makes a lot more money than he ever will.  He'll never hold anything more than a menial job and will do well just to support himself.  Also, I really think that she never wants him to have any contact with the child (for whatever reason) and so won't take him to court for child support.  If she did, he would have every legal right to pursue visitation rights. 

So, from what I can find, I will concede that it looks like you are right.  I've just never been intimately involved with divorce and child custody/support issues, so I was just going on what I was told happened in this case.  Thanks for setting me straight and motivating me to look into it a bit closer.
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Offline The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist

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Re: Single sex dorms makes it harder to prevent rape
« Reply #25 on: February 16, 2012, 09:05:41 am »
I know one friend of mine who is saving herself for marriage. She's done everything else besides penetrative sex, but yeah. The way she explained it to me was, "Well, if you do everything else before marriage, then what's the point of marriage?" I can see where she's coming from, but I want to get married so I can have more sex (in private, in more places, with the knowledge of my parents, without people thinking I'm an unmarried whore), so I can't really judge.

I really don't see where she's coming from. Marriage is absolutely and in all cases a civil institution, period. Exclamation point, even. There's no difference between two people who had a priest say some words over them and two people who did not, but there is a difference - a big one - between two people who have not signed a marriage contract and two people who have. Several hundred legal rights and privileges, for instance.

All of this is true in a societal context, but I believe Smurfette meant she can see where the individual is coming from on a personal, emotional level. The symbolism involved in the marriage ceremony carries a great deal of weight, being that it's essentially two people taking a formal oath to spend the rest of their lives together, which is an enormously emotional event for most people. As such, it's understandable that an individual might feel the need to actualize these feelings by saving something -- sex, living together, etc., etc. -- for marriage. It's not rational, nor does it fit the practicalities involved, but it's incredibly difficult to deny those kinds of emotions.

Of course, none of this makes it okay to judge others for the way they handle marriage.
« Last Edit: February 16, 2012, 09:08:28 am by Mlle Antéchrist »
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Offline TheL

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Re: Single sex dorms makes it harder to prevent rape
« Reply #26 on: February 16, 2012, 10:29:33 am »
The more you try and prevent people form doing things that more they will want to do them.

Yes, it's amazing the number of people that don't understand this.

It seems a bit naive to say that this isn't understood in the context of religion (although I'm sure there are many who don't understand it). I think it is more the case that this consequence is not seen as an issue. Feel more urge to do it? Satan's testing you. Makes overcoming the urge all the sweeter, right?


No, not really.  It just makes failure to overcome the urge for years at a time into a new thing to be guilty over.  See also: suicidal at age 15 because I couldn't avoid touching myself altogether.
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Offline MaybeNever

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Re: Single sex dorms makes it harder to prevent rape
« Reply #27 on: February 16, 2012, 03:48:07 pm »
I know one friend of mine who is saving herself for marriage. She's done everything else besides penetrative sex, but yeah. The way she explained it to me was, "Well, if you do everything else before marriage, then what's the point of marriage?" I can see where she's coming from, but I want to get married so I can have more sex (in private, in more places, with the knowledge of my parents, without people thinking I'm an unmarried whore), so I can't really judge.

I really don't see where she's coming from. Marriage is absolutely and in all cases a civil institution, period. Exclamation point, even. There's no difference between two people who had a priest say some words over them and two people who did not, but there is a difference - a big one - between two people who have not signed a marriage contract and two people who have. Several hundred legal rights and privileges, for instance.

All of this is true in a societal context, but I believe Smurfette meant she can see where the individual is coming from on a personal, emotional level. The symbolism involved in the marriage ceremony carries a great deal of weight, being that it's essentially two people taking a formal oath to spend the rest of their lives together, which is an enormously emotional event for most people. As such, it's understandable that an individual might feel the need to actualize these feelings by saving something -- sex, living together, etc., etc. -- for marriage. It's not rational, nor does it fit the practicalities involved, but it's incredibly difficult to deny those kinds of emotions.

Then she can save spousal privilege for marriage.  8)

The more you try and prevent people form doing things that more they will want to do them.

Yes, it's amazing the number of people that don't understand this.

It seems a bit naive to say that this isn't understood in the context of religion (although I'm sure there are many who don't understand it). I think it is more the case that this consequence is not seen as an issue. Feel more urge to do it? Satan's testing you. Makes overcoming the urge all the sweeter, right?


No, not really.  It just makes failure to overcome the urge for years at a time into a new thing to be guilty over.  See also: suicidal at age 15 because I couldn't avoid touching myself altogether.

Suicidal? Satan testing you.

...Christ, I feel dirty just thinking that, let alone writing it out.
« Last Edit: February 16, 2012, 03:50:31 pm by MaybeNever »
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Offline The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist

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Re: Single sex dorms makes it harder to prevent rape
« Reply #28 on: February 16, 2012, 05:42:42 pm »
Nothing says romance like not being able to tell the jury where your husband buried the bodies.
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Re: Single sex dorms makes it harder to prevent rape
« Reply #29 on: February 16, 2012, 09:55:34 pm »
Quote
Of course, there is also at least one case I know of where a man proved via paternity test that a child was not his, and still had to pay child support.

What.