Dumb Things You Believed as a Kid

[Patches]

A topic to talk about some of the silly things you can remember believing, thinking, saying, or doing as a young child who didn't know any better.

Here's a few that I still remember:

- I thought marriage was when people went to a church and asked God to give them a baby, and that's where babies came from.

- I did understand that babies came out of their mothers, but I thought they pooped them out, and since I didn't know how they got there, I'd always check the toilet after I pooped to make sure I hadn't pooped out a baby.

- I once got into a day-long debate with my mother over how to spell "fighted".  She told me it was "fought".  She was crazy.

- I once asked my mother if English was the "normal" language.

- I thought AOL was the internet

- My sister told me that girls have a "bagina", and I corrected her that girls have a "crotch"

- I always wanted to watch "The Map Channel" (aka "The Weather Channel")

[Saturn500]

-I thought penultimate was a synonym for ultimate.

-I thought George W. Bush was a good president.

-I thought PeTA was good.

-I thought a girl who was my friend was my girlfriend.

And worst of all...

(click to show/hide)

I thought Superman 64 was a good game.

[VirtualStranger]

A topic to talk about some of the silly things you can remember believing, thinking, saying, or doing as a young child who didn't know any better.

That if you went to school and worked hard and got good grades, you would become rich and successful and live a happy life.

That America was the number one country in the world and that we're the best at everything and all the other countries look up to us.

[Saturn500]

That America was the number one country in the world and that we're the best at everything and all the other countries look up to us.

Same here.

[Witchyjoshy]

And worst of all...

(click to show/hide)

I thought Superman 64 was a good game.

Your parents should be charged with child abuse for allowing that to happen

Lessee...

- I thought that the speedometer told you your location.  Through numbers.  Yeah.
- I once thought NES games had magical reels of film in them that was displayed on the TV.  Imagine my disappointment when we cracked open a game that had stopped working properly and it was just this weird green thing.
- When I was REALLY young, I thought the pastor of our church was actually God.  I'm really confused by how I came to that conclusion.
- When I first heard of Mom getting shots, I was understandably terrified... I thought they were done with a gun :V
- A ton of other weird things... I had a vivid imagination as a kid.

That America was the number one country in the world and that we're the best at everything and all the other countries look up to us.

Same here.

Same.

[The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist]

When I was in Kindergarten, I believed that it was illegal to use complete sentences when taking notes thanks to a joke I overheard a teacher make while she was explaining the importance of using shorthand to students in a higher grade. I remember wondering about what other laws there might be, and being terrified that I'd inadvertently do something illegal in my school work once I started grade one.

- When I was REALLY young, I thought the pastor of our church was actually God.  I'm really confused by how I came to that conclusion.

Should I feel bad that I burst out laughing when I read this?

Along a similar vein: Early in childhood, I thought that ministers/priests/etc. were higher beings of some sort who could literally communicate with god. As in, just sit down and have a face-to-face chat with him or grab a phone and call him.

[Jebediah]

I used to think that chocolate milk came from brown cows.

I also used to think little people lived inside the tv, and that's how we got tv shows.

[Søren]

I used to believe that there were monsters in the hallway as the kid. The light was always flickering due to craptacular wiring. When I needed something from there at night, I always had my sister come with me because it freaked me out

[Sleepy]

I used to believe that...

- Women had to swallow a small baby in order to get pregnant.

- Unless I prayed, bad things would happen to the person I was with.

- Prayers would prevent bad dreams.

- I was a thief. When I was in kindergarten, my teacher held open a bag of toy dinosaurs for us and said, "Everybody, steal a dinosaur!" I told my older sister about it later on and she insisted it was a criminal act. I felt guilty for ages.

[SpaceProg]

I thought there was a disco in the dryer and a water park behind the refrigerator.


I have no idea.

[Patches]

I used to believe that there were monsters in the hallway as the kid. The light was always flickering due to craptacular wiring. When I needed something from there at night, I always had my sister come with me because it freaked me out

Oh man.  My grandparents had this awesome old house that had a basement that freaked me the hell out.  It was huge but only lit by one hanging light bulb, and there were all these secret passageways down there because it had been used as a home brewery during the Prohibition era.  That basement scared the crap out of me and I swear there was, like, a suit of samurai armor or something down there, and I never tried to explore it much beyond the stairs, but now I really wish I'd gotten over my fears earlier to go check it out before it got demolished to put up a strip mall.  The local news reported on it after my grandparents died and the house got sold, and they thought Al Capone used to stay there.  Agh, if only I'd had the nerve to explore those secret passages, so many regrets!  x_x

[Random Gal]

I believed in Santa Claus until I was 12.

[Normandy]

When I was little I thought that muscle twitches were ghosts poking me.  I also was quite frightened of the idea of ghosts... not a good combination.

[Art Vandelay]

I used to think TV shows came from the TV itself, and were different for every individual TV. I remember whenever the subject of TV shows came up, my typical reaction was "holy shit, we all got the same show! What are the chances of that?"

[Vypernight]

-I believed the list of our presidents went; "Washington, Lincoln, Reagan."

-I thought James Bond was both the character's and actor's name.

-I thought the World Wars were TV miniseries.

-I used to like cats.