Heres a good post in the huge trashpile of that tag
To me queer fetishization has always been the tokenism we see in the vast majority of commercial media narratives: the Sassy Gay Friend, the sexless B plot, the punchline, the committed couple that get to hug on screen but don’t get to kiss. To me, queer fetishization is the moment where a person talks about how hot same-sex porn is, but then don’t want their gay neighbor to be able to get married. To me, queer fetishization is the gaggle of straight people that come to the gay bar to drink and dance, but are petrified of being hit on by any queer people that might just happen to be there.
I’m not offended by straight people writing queer characters or narratives in which a romance between two queer characters is what drives the story. I think many mistakes can be made in characterization of both individuals and culture and I think privilege can preclude writers from fully grasping certain situations. But, in my experience, more often than not, amazing narratives come from amazing writers who care and pay attention to detail, whatever their sexual identity is, wherever they come from.
See, this is a good argument and actually touches on the big picture, not stupid little fanfictions
Now, that one is much more sane. While I don't agree with "the Sassy Gay Friend, the sexless B plot, the punchline, the committed couple that get to hug on screen but don’t get to kiss" as fetishization, the rest is true, and that kind of stuff is still bad. I still think Willow/Tara on Buffy The Vampire Slayer was the best written gay couple in television, and that Glee should be burnt because it's just insulting to gays. This one gets to the point of things, and isn't written by a total idiot.
I think I can agree with everything except the "straight people go into gay bar for dance and drinks but don't want to get hit on" part. I mean straight people go to straigth bars for dance and drink as well and not all of them want to be hit on. And even if they are looking for "action" it does not mean that they would want to return the advances of just anyone.
In fact people regardless of their sexual orientation or location have no obligation to return the advances of anyone who wants to hit on them. People still have the right to decide who they want to get intimate with. If a lesbian woman is in a bar just to have drinks with her friends and a random drunken guy tries to get in her pants... Well, you wouldn't be amazed if she doesn't respond well to that.
Still, I agree with most of that post. I am particulalry still amazed that some of the same people who (openly) drool over lesbian porn suddenly claim that same sex marriage is so utterly immoral and deprived that it cannot be allowed...