Unwanted belly-rub = assault?

[TheUnknown]

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/can-t-touch-this--pregnant-mom-lawsuit-takes-on-belly-rubbing-211618835.html

A representative from the Pennsylvania State Police tells Yahoo Shine that earlier this month, 57-year-old Richard J. Beishline visited his neighbor, a 30-year-old pregnant woman named Michelle Troutman in Frankfort, Pennsylvania. According to the police report, after giving Troutman a hug, Beishline said, “I just want to be friends” and rubbed her stomach. Troutman pushed him away, and he quickly left. She has since filed harassment charges against Beishline, and if he pleads guilty, he’ll pay a fine determined by a judge. If he pleads not guilty, both parties will have to testify in court.

I put this thread here since the article, as well as the comments, deal with the issue of consent and how it's viewed in society.  Many people (though not all) seem to demand why she didn't just tell him to stop and just leave it at that, while not addressing the problem of people randomly and deliberately touching you without asking.  It implies that consent is given by default and that you need to actively withdraw it, instead of the inverse.

For me, this kind of ties in with another problem I've thought about from time to time: the general attitude that if it's not causing pain, it's acceptable to touch without permission, and any negative reaction you get in response is "overreacting."  After all, "it's not like it's actually hurting anyone, right?"  The most prominent example I can think of is tickling, and how people think it's funny to do it even when told to stop (especially if told to stop) and that those who get angry need to "lighten up." 

I know some people on this forum have been pregnant before.  How do you feel about issues like these?

(And yes, I know the "I just want to be friends" line is weird and could imply something more was going on, but even if more info is revealed in the future, it doesn't change the issues brought up here)

[Witchyjoshy]

I hate it when people touch my arm or hand without my consent.  Hugs are generally okay because I'll reciprocate the hug, but just... stop putting your hand on my arm.

I imagine it's similar for a pregnant woman, only magnified due to the fact that she becomes a center of attention.

...Also, confession, I thought the topic was going to be about cats at first.

[Flying Mint Bunny!]

I think you should ask a pregnant woman for permission before rubbing her belly, but calling it harassment is ridiculous unless you have been told repeatedly not to do it.

[lord gibbon]

I'm a rather physical guy, but I always ask permission before touching someone. And even then, if they say get off, you get off. So yeah, this guy does not have my sympathy.

[Ironchew]

Eh, I think a "please don't touch me" or something similar that communicates to another person that their behavior is unwarranted is necessary before filing a legal complaint. If they're purposefully trying to physically harm you, no such communication is necessary, but most people will stop invading your personal space if they're told not to.

[Alehksunos]

Heard of this earlier this morning.

Wow, yesterday I was talking about one of the reasons Tosh.0 is an abhorrent television program and Daniel Tosh is an equally abhorrent person, and it was on avocation of posting videos of tapping your woman's stomach without consent.

Now today, we hear about a someone who claims he "just wants to be friends" rubbing a woman's pregnant stomach without consent.

[Lt. Fred]

I think it's reasonable for these laws exist. You probably should face very minor punishment for unwanted semi-intimate touching (like your belly if you're pregnant), though obviously the punishment should be trivial to minor.

You're a bit of a prick if you press charges without making it clear the approach is unwanted, though.

[Witchyjoshy]

How about this - "Until you are given permission, always assume the approach is unwanted."

[Lt. Fred]

How about this - "Until you are given permission, always assume the approach is unwanted."

Xactly. But if you're the victim of such approach without making it clear that it is unwanted and you press charges, you're a bit of a prick, in my view.

[JohnE]

...Also, confession, I thought the topic was going to be about cats at first.

Well, when I rub my cat's belly without permission, I get assaulted.

[Ironchew]

How about this - "Until you are given permission, always assume the approach is unwanted."

Yeah, the only problem is that humans are social creatures and that would fail spectacularly.

Approach is a human need and it is wanted, but the socially awkward don't always know the correct situations to do that. Telling them they're doing something you don't want them to do is much more effective in 99% of cases than instantly slapping a lawsuit on them.

[Shane for Wax]

I hate when people touch me without permission. That includes when people touch my shoulder to wake me up unless it's a parent I have expressly told to wake me up like that. I have had nurses get mad at me when I tell them not to touch me like that.

Was it an overreaction to file charges? Maybe. I'm not going to say one way or another cause I wasn't there.

[davedan]

I almost always like it when people touch me. I am not comfortable asking people to touch me and I try not to touch women intimately unless it is pretty clear that they want to be touched. This doesn't necessarily mean expressly asking for consent but just reading body language and culture. I usually fall in deep platonic love with any woman who touches me with familiarity. However, the woman is fucking pregnant. You do not touch a pregnant woman (other than to stop her falling or some such thing - in non-emergency situations you offer your hand and you let them take it). You do not touch a pregnant woman's belly without asking her. What the Fuck. That is incredibly intimate. Very presumptious. You don't need to be told that you aren't allowed to touch a woman's cunt. No one would suggest that no charges should be pressed unless they kept touching your cunt after they were asked not to. He knew she was pregnant and that is why he wanted to touch her belly. Honestly his punishment should be defenestration.

[Art Vandelay]

Personally, I'm okay with this. There's nothing worse than overly touchy-feely people with no concept of even asking first. Hopefully this'll serve as a warning to them. Probably not, but a guy can dream, can't he?

[Ironchew]

Honestly his punishment should be defenestration.