Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 363624 times)

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Offline Veras

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #855 on: July 30, 2012, 10:03:06 pm »
Granted, but the marijuana plant, and all other plants related to it are now extinct.

I wish my neighbor's dog would stop barking all night.
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"There is no moral difference between a stealth bomber and a suicide bomber. Both kill innocent people for political reasons."

“If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people.”

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Offline Sleepy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #856 on: July 30, 2012, 10:14:25 pm »
Granted, instead he silently sneaks into your room every night and nibbles off a tiny portion of your dick. You don't seem to notice until one night when he gets greedy and bites off half of it, leaving you in screaming agony and unable to properly fap forever.

I wish I were an invincible butterfly.
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

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Offline tygerarmy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #857 on: July 30, 2012, 10:28:01 pm »
Granted, but you are forever trapped in a jar.

I wish  I never had to sleep and it did not have a negative impact on my health.
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Offline Veras

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #858 on: July 30, 2012, 11:15:41 pm »
Granted, instead he silently sneaks into your room every night and nibbles off a tiny portion of your dick. You don't seem to notice until one night when he gets greedy and bites off half of it, leaving you in screaming agony and unable to properly fap forever.

Thanks, now I get to have that nightmare.


I wish  I never had to sleep and it did not have a negative impact on my health.

Granted.  You're dead--you don't need sleep, and the fact that you don't sleep does not affect your health.  In fact, nothing affects your health.

You're welcome.
RIP Tony Benn (1925 - 2014)

"There is no moral difference between a stealth bomber and a suicide bomber. Both kill innocent people for political reasons."

“If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people.”

"I'm not frightened about death. I don't know why, but I just feel that at a certain moment your switch is switched off, and that's it. And you can't do anything about it."

Saturn500

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #859 on: July 30, 2012, 11:55:43 pm »
Because Veras didn't wish for anything...

I wish  I never had to sleep and it did not have a negative impact on my health.

Granted. You get taken by the government to be "studied" for how this is possible.

I wish I were in space.

Offline N. De Plume

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #860 on: July 31, 2012, 07:25:15 am »
Granted. But in Space, no one can hear you wish you had a space suit.

I wish Saturn500 had a space suit.
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Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #861 on: July 31, 2012, 07:53:09 am »
Granted. You suddenly become enraged with jealousy because Saturn500 has a rather spiffy space suit and you don't.

I wish I wasn't out of vanilla coke.

Offline The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #862 on: July 31, 2012, 09:34:19 am »
Granted, you receive vanilla-scented cocaine.

I wish I could receive money without having to go into work.
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Offline Zygarde

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #863 on: July 31, 2012, 03:48:08 pm »
Granted the money was stolen and now your under arrest


I wish I didn't have to go back to school on the 9th

Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #864 on: July 31, 2012, 03:56:36 pm »
Granted, you have to go to prison on the 2nd.

I wish learning how to build a PC was easier.

Offline tygerarmy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #865 on: July 31, 2012, 07:24:04 pm »
Granted, but parts got more expensive.

I wish the MTA was more efficient.
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Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #866 on: July 31, 2012, 07:43:26 pm »
Granted, but you now have a urinary tract infection.

I wish shitty things wouldn't happen to awesome people.

Offline N. De Plume

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #867 on: July 31, 2012, 09:40:59 pm »
Granted. But the awesome things still all go to the shitty people. This leaves only bland crap for the awesome people.

I wish I was the happiest person in the world.
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Saturn500

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #868 on: July 31, 2012, 11:13:13 pm »
Granted. You move to the town of Drofpets, where all of the men mysteriously become perpetually cheerful '50s-esque fathers...
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Offline e13

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #869 on: August 01, 2012, 09:37:25 am »
Granted. It becomes substantial and follows you around all day.

I wish I had more legal tender money that isn't made with poisoned ink.

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