Conservatives lambast Romney, vow to take over Republican Party

[RavynousHunter]

Oh, yes, please, p-l-e-a-s-e, please go even more tea partyish.

YES.  Destroy yourselves, and let something good come from the ashes.  Tis time for the Repulicans to go the way of the dodo, and let a new party come into play.

...What would they call themselves, though...?

[Cataclysm]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_Whig_Party

[wrongfrog]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_Whig_Party

can this please happen? seriously?

(i think a correspondent on the Daily Show did a section that included a guy from the modern whig party, does anyone have the clip?)

EDIT: I found it, so nevermind. The part with the Modern Whig Party guy was a lot shorter than I thought.

[Lt. Fred]

Yep, that's the problem with the Democrats. They have too much spine.

[wrongfrog]

I don't really care for the green party after reviewing their positions more thoroughly. I just like their election reforms.

Greens seem fine to me, they seem to be a more liberal version of the Democratic Party, with more backbone.

Unless I'm missing some glaring flaws. I've just kind of skimmed their platform.

[Askold]

Considering that the Rebublicans basically took over the TEA party to bolster their own numbers it would be funny if the tables are turned.

[Sixth Monarchist]

Reasons Why Obama Won

#1 - Romney was insufficiently conservative
His refusal to push forward a synthesis of purely applied Objectivist economics and Dominionist theocracy as social policy failed to reach out to the all-important and large swathe of independent voters to whom such policies appeal.

#2 - A Vast Left Wing Conspiracy
The liberal media attempted to make Todd Akin sound like a bad guy, quoting him out of context and ignoring the fact that his 14th Century approach to our modern world can solve many of our problems, e.g.: the bubonic plague's potential contribution to overpopulation, the poll tax's potential for simplifying the absurdly complex federal taxation system, etc.

Similar attacks on Romney ignored the real implications of his remarks, such as his "binders full of women" comment, which actually exposed Bain Capital's contribution to developing real-life equivalents to Gallifreyan technology and therefore exposed the media's bias in ignoring the private sector's contributions to innovation and rising living standards.

#3 - Democrat voter fraud policies
Increased investment in the godless sciences has led to breakthroughs in intrinsic field research. This in turn has allowed for quantum superpowers which, in turn, have allowed certain test subjects to be in multiple places at once. This research, judiciously applied to selected individuals, allowed thousands of extra votes to derive from mere scores of voters. An examination of polling centre activity will reveal that most of these fraudulent extra voters voted in daylight, when the Cherenkov radiation emanating from them as a result of the research was less visible.

#4 - Obamanian Sorcery
Obama has become a) the first nonwhite President of the United States; b) the first President to appoint a Latina to the Supreme Court; c) the first President to vote early; d) the first President from Hawaii; e) the first Democrat to win without Missouri; f) the first President since FDR to get re-elected with unemployment higher than 7.2%.

The reason for all of these phenomena is simple: Obama possesses dark magic capabilities that warp the space and time around him, provoking circumstances that history would otherwise not create. It is possible that Obama could therefore, by generating a scenario in which it seemed impossible to win, use his infernal powers to guarantee victory.

#5 - Despite a poor economy, the Republican Party fielded unappealing candidates and outdated policies that don't address or recognise the nature of modern America
Evidence in favour: the narrative emerging from the lieberal lamestream media. Evidence against: it's a patently absurd notion.

Definitely a Poe.

[DrFishcake]

I must have missed the bit where Romney billed himself as a centrist. Unless of course we're talking centrist through the prism of the tea party world view.

[Cataclysm]

I don't really care for the green party after reviewing their positions more thoroughly. I just like their election reforms.

Greens seem fine to me, they seem to be a more liberal version of the Democratic Party, with more backbone.

Unless I'm missing some glaring flaws. I've just kind of skimmed their platform.

They want to ban new nuclear power plants.

[VirtualStranger]

And then you have libertarians like Ron Paul, who thinks that the courts shouldn't determine whether or not banning same-sex marriage is constitutional or not, even though that's kind of their job. Not all libertarians are OK with social issues, and don't forget that "state's rights" allows everything, including things like, oh, sodomy laws. Or Jim Crow laws. Or anti-abortion laws.

Ron Paul wants to define life as starting at conception, build a fence along the US-Mexico border, prevent the Supreme Court from hearing cases on the Establishment Clause or the right to privacy, permitting the return of sodomy laws and the like (a bill which he has repeatedly re-introduced), pull out of the UN, disband NATO, end birthright citizenship, deny federal funding to any organisation which "which presents male or female homosexuality as an acceptable alternative life style or which suggest that it can be an acceptable life style" along with destroying public education and social security,, and abolish the Federal Reserve in order to put America back on the gold standard. He was also the sole vote against divesting US federal government investments in corporations doing business with the genocidal government of the Sudan.
 
Oh, and he believes that the Left is waging a war on religion and Christmas, he's against gay marriage, is against the popular vote, opposes the Civil Rights Act of 1964, wants the estate tax repealed, is STILL making racist remarks, believes that the Panama Canal should be the property of the United States, and believes in New World Order conspiracy theories, not to mention his belief that the International Baccalaureate program is UN mind control.

Ron Paul is fucking batshit crazy.

[armandtanzarian]

And then you have libertarians like Ron Paul, who thinks that the courts shouldn't determine whether or not banning same-sex marriage is constitutional or not, even though that's kind of their job. Not all libertarians are OK with social issues, and don't forget that "state's rights" allows everything, including things like, oh, sodomy laws. Or Jim Crow laws. Or anti-abortion laws.

Ron Paul wants to define life as starting at conception, build a fence along the US-Mexico border, prevent the Supreme Court from hearing cases on the Establishment Clause or the right to privacy, permitting the return of sodomy laws and the like (a bill which he has repeatedly re-introduced), pull out of the UN, disband NATO, end birthright citizenship, deny federal funding to any organisation which "which presents male or female homosexuality as an acceptable alternative life style or which suggest that it can be an acceptable life style" along with destroying public education and social security,, and abolish the Federal Reserve in order to put America back on the gold standard. He was also the sole vote against divesting US federal government investments in corporations doing business with the genocidal government of the Sudan.
 
Oh, and he believes that the Left is waging a war on religion and Christmas, he's against gay marriage, is against the popular vote, opposes the Civil Rights Act of 1964, wants the estate tax repealed, is STILL making racist remarks, believes that the Panama Canal should be the property of the United States, and believes in New World Order conspiracy theories, not to mention his belief that the International Baccalaureate program is UN mind control.

Ron Paul is fucking batshit crazy.

[RavynousHunter]

Umm...VS wins the thread.  My fucking god...how the fuck does anyone take that rambling troglodyte seriously?  I'd call him a man, but that'd be an insult to the rest of the male gender.

Ron Paul, get out of my gender, my species, and my planet.  Go live on the sun, I hear the locals there are absolutely cuckoo for state's rights.

[Osama bin Bambi]

And then you have libertarians like Ron Paul, who thinks that the courts shouldn't determine whether or not banning same-sex marriage is constitutional or not, even though that's kind of their job. Not all libertarians are OK with social issues, and don't forget that "state's rights" allows everything, including things like, oh, sodomy laws. Or Jim Crow laws. Or anti-abortion laws.

Ron Paul wants to define life as starting at conception, build a fence along the US-Mexico border, prevent the Supreme Court from hearing cases on the Establishment Clause or the right to privacy, permitting the return of sodomy laws and the like (a bill which he has repeatedly re-introduced), pull out of the UN, disband NATO, end birthright citizenship, deny federal funding to any organisation which "which presents male or female homosexuality as an acceptable alternative life style or which suggest that it can be an acceptable life style" along with destroying public education and social security,, and abolish the Federal Reserve in order to put America back on the gold standard. He was also the sole vote against divesting US federal government investments in corporations doing business with the genocidal government of the Sudan.
 
Oh, and he believes that the Left is waging a war on religion and Christmas, he's against gay marriage, is against the popular vote, opposes the Civil Rights Act of 1964, wants the estate tax repealed, is STILL making racist remarks, believes that the Panama Canal should be the property of the United States, and believes in New World Order conspiracy theories, not to mention his belief that the International Baccalaureate program is UN mind control.

Ron Paul is fucking batshit crazy.

The "IB is UN mind control" thing is an obscure little conspiracy theory that I've heard only from the right-wing, conservative Christian, anti-United Nations crowd. One of the objections they have to it (at least from what I've read) is that the IB history classes supposedly teach kids that America has made some dick moves in its history, thus undermining both their patriotism and their faith in God and the government.

If this is really the case, then I applaud IB history classes.

Also, I remember reading once that Ron Paul was the lone dissenting vote against a bill that would have banned importing children's toys with lead paint in them. Because free market.

[Tolpuddle Martyr]

Oh, yes, please, p-l-e-a-s-e, please go even more tea partyish.

YES.  Destroy yourselves, and let something good come from the ashes.  Tis time for the Repulicans to go the way of the dodo, and let a new party come into play.

...What would they call themselves, though...?

This.

Besides, this is Fundies Say the Darndest things - what these tea partiers have basically said is let's get fundier, and madder and darn it all to heck!

[RavynousHunter]

I think these guys need more like Ron Paul and Ol' Frothy...fucked up, but bear with me.  The more they put up these insane assholes, the less people agree with them, and I don't mean the slightly nutty kind, I mean the kind of scum that's so vile, all but the most heartless, soulless monster wouldn't deign vote for them, or even give them any real consideration.  Their presence weakens the party and its popularity, as it begins to dip further and further into insanity, and eventually, they will consume themselves, die, and something will come to take its place.

So long as they manage to do no damage, or that the damage they manage to do isn't serious...I say, go apeshit!  Get the most bat-fuck insane pieces of shit you can find, GOP.  Put them up as your candidates, and the prime examples of your political and social platforms.  Your party is ailing, and must be put down in the most humane manner possible...self-termination.