KEWL!
The Thaw Rant
Updated May 07, 2013
0:16 - "Why can't I pray in school?"
Ummm, you CAN pray in school. Nobody said you can't say a prayer before you eat, before a test, or have a student led prayer group.
0:22 - "What can't I write about God in my school papers?"
Why would you need to write about God in your school papers?
0:27 - "Why do I have to tolerate people cursing MY God, but I am not allowed to talk about God and MY faith?"
If by "talk about God and your faith", you mean "shove it down everyone's throat", then that would be because we're tired of hearing about it! It's not persecution. It's telling you we're tired of hearing about it, because you talk about your faith more than I think about sex!
And yes, you have to tolerate people cursing your God, because we have FREEDOM OF SPEECH! Hey, we tolerate you shoving Jesus in our face all the time!
0:32 - "Why are they taking God out of my history books?"
First of all, they're not "your" history books. Second of all, it's about HISTORY, not RELIGION! The Bible is NOT a historical document! It's a religious document!
0:36 - "Why do they teach every other theory in science, except creation?"
Because every other theory can be backed with demonstrable empirical evidence! There is none of that in creation!
0:40 - "Why am I called names because I believe in marriage the way GOD designed it?"
Because "the way GOD designed it" is bigoted and discriminatory. If God is your main/only justification as to why people of the same sex can't marry, then you need to rethink yourself.
Tim Tebow: Because he's showing off, that's why! If some athlete praised Allah the same way, you Christians would be up in arms, calling for his metaphorical head!
Georgia high school coach: Citation needed!
Lesbian/Gay: That's not because you're a Christian. That's because the dimwits that are trying to boink you don't respect you or your boundaries.
Dating obligation: No, it's not. You don't HAVE to date anyone. Yeah, assholes will tease you about it, but they're just assholes.
Disrespectful: Only the ones who shove Jesus down everyone's throats, like you kids seem to want to do.
Bullying is common: Yes, but it's not just Christians being bullied. MOST PEOPLE, I suspect, get bullied at least once during school. And when was the last time a Christian like you committed suicide because of overbullying?
Sex Ed: HOW THE FUCK IS IT PORNOGRAPHY?! Oh my gawd, you're learning about how your bodies work! YOU PLAN ON GETTING MARRIED, RIGHT?! THEN HOW ABOUT YOU PAY ATTENTION IN SEX ED, SO YOU'RE NOT A BUMBLING MORON ON YOUR WEDDING NIGHT?! Yes, it gets a little graphic, but you know what? YOU'RE GOING TO SEE IT ANYWAY!
Goody goods: You know, there's a REASON some stereotypes exist.
Dirty jokes: Yeah, so? That's what teens DO! Hell, that's what EVERYBODY does!
Christian nation: NO! IT! WASN'T! If you paid more attention to your history class than your fucking Bible, you'd know that the nation was founded on, among other things, RELIGIOUS FREEDOM! The freedom to practice whatever religion you want, without government persecution! What YOU are pushing for is a THEOCRACY, where the government rules by the tenets of ONE religion, other religions be damned! I don't want to follow some rules set down by a religion I'm not a part of or a deity I don't believe in!
Unconstitutional prayer: STATE SPONSORED PRAYER! You can pray in schools, but your teachers, who are STATE EMPLOYEES, can't lead a prayer group! Again, YOU CAN PRAY IN SCHOOLS!!!!!! That's why a moment of silence is okay! It's not promoting nor hindering ANY religion!
Unconstitutional Bible: Again, STATE SPONSORED! You can gather your buddies and have a Bible reading in the library! Your teachers can't LEAD them! THAT'S ALL!
Let our voices be heard: Your voices ARE heard! I've driven trucks for a living! And I lost count of the number of Christian billboards that are littered on the side of highways, some of which proclaim that if I don't believe in your God, I'm going to burn in a lake of fire! Yet, your voices aren't being heard?! Give me a break!
Failure is not an option: So, basically, what you're telling me is that you're not going to stop shoving your Jesus in everyone's faces until everyone else is Christian? Am I accurate on this?! You're going to try and FORCE everyone to convert to your religion?!
Quoting quoting: Yeah, pursuit of happiness... so long as it lines up with your religious beliefs, right?
As I mentioned earlier, what you are pushing for is a THEOCRACY! That's why our ancestors got the fuck away from England!
