Author Topic: Video Game Logic  (Read 21690 times)

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Offline Lithp

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Video Game Logic
« on: February 15, 2012, 05:42:06 pm »
So, I've had a few discussions recently on how someone should know whether a given idea is stupid for a given setting. Is that giant monster meant to keep you from advancing too far in the world for the current section of the plot, or is it the first boss? Should you drink the strange bottle, which is your only clue, to advance, or is it poison? When the character warns you that the quest is too dangerous, are you supposed to heed them or not? That sort of thing. And it suddenly occurred to me, this would make a good thread.

List your stories of dumb as Hell videogame logic, or aversions gone terribly wrong here:

1. That dinosaur at the beginning of FFXII? It is not a random monster made to make you look like a badass. Don't attack it.
2. On the other hand, those giant werewolves that keep kicking your half-naked ass up & down the desert? They have a key item you need.
3. Kingdom Hearts 1. You just lost the Keyblade, the magic weapon that's basically been pulling your dead weight the whole game. Maybe you should regroup at Traverse Town, where you have half a dozen seasoned badasses at your disposal, or at least can try your hand with a staff? lolnope. Beat monsters up with a toy sword.
4. I've said a lot of good things about FFVII's plot, but blowing up Mako Reactors is a horribly expensive & inefficient way to go about protecting the environment. And as Cloud made it clear, if Shinra ever actually started taking them seriously, they'd be some greasy stain on a SOLDIER's sword. For added benefit, they were using leftover junk from a previous terrorist organization they knew next to nothing about.
5. The freaking .hack games. How should we figure out why people are going comatose? Consult the doctors? Do research on their history? Say it's someone else's problem? Nope. Play vidya games.

That's all I got for now.

Offline Witchyjoshy

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Re: Video Game Logic
« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2012, 07:29:37 pm »
Re: 3...

Actually, that's the perfect time to go magic spammy on enemy's asses.  Staff?  Who needs a staff?


Unfortunately, I've brain fogged and can't think of any video game logic examples.
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Offline Lithp

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Re: Video Game Logic
« Reply #2 on: February 15, 2012, 09:05:33 pm »
That is actually what I did, but the point is really what the game suggests you should do.

Speaking of, one that holds true for most high fantasy RPs: Did I just meet a bunch of shady jagoffs with questionable pasts? Aw, damn, looks like I'm goin' on a quest to save the world with them.

Note also, while the title says "Video Game Logic," it can apply to other things. Videogames is just where I know this--creative--way of looking at the world from.
« Last Edit: February 15, 2012, 09:07:17 pm by Lithp »

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Video Game Logic
« Reply #3 on: February 15, 2012, 11:49:58 pm »
Kingdom's of Amular has one where this guy will only give you something you need if you "test" one of his potions.
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Online Art Vandelay

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Re: Video Game Logic
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2012, 01:04:20 am »
Beyond Good and Evil: Aliens faking their being a friendly force to assist against another alien invasion? This calls for racing hovercrafts and taking pictures of animals.

Syberia: The plot revolves around searching for a hidden island that contains live mammoths, that's so totally secret its believed to be a myth. Funnily enough, nobody noticed the railway line that goes from the French Alps to an Inuit tribe that knows precisely where to find said island.

Fahrenheit: According to the developers, sexytimes should not be just a cut scene, but also a quick time event. I kid you not.

Offline Da Rat Bastid

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Re: Video Game Logic
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2012, 01:48:24 am »
Fahrenheit: According to the developers, sexytimes should not be just a cut scene, but also a quick time event. I kid you not.

We know how well that worked out for Rockstar Games, don't we? :P

Offline Shane for Wax

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Re: Video Game Logic
« Reply #6 on: February 16, 2012, 03:08:23 am »
Just started the game? Let's throw you into a boss battle with a dinky ass sword and make it so one mistake kills you! (Dark Souls)

Oh hey did you remember to check that entire room five levels ago? No? You fucked yourself over. (Adventure games everywhere)

Have a squad to help you? Fuck that. You do everything yourself! (every FPS ever)

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Re: Video Game Logic
« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2012, 03:23:28 am »
Mercenaries 2: Heavy munitions and freaking pallet loads of cash can always be found just lying around beside major roads and in people's back yards. All you need is a friend in a helicopter and it's yours for the taking.

Planescape: Torment: You walk into a bar and the barman sells you an eyeball in a jar of $500. What do you do? Why, you rip out one of your eyes and shove your new purchase in the socket.

The Longest Journey: Need to get some sort of McGuffin off a railway line? Think you can just, you know, quickly grab it? Well fuck you, the only way to get it involves a slightly leaky inflatable rubber tube, a clamp, a piece of string and a band aid. Makes perfect sense if you ask me.

We know how well that worked out for Rockstar Games, don't we? :P

The amazing part is that it's not a mod, it's in the vanilla game, complete with a perfect view of the guy's rather poorly rendered ass crack moving up and down in time with your mouse click and drags (albeit that's the uncensored version).
« Last Edit: February 16, 2012, 03:25:17 am by Art Vandelay »

Offline Eniliad

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Re: Video Game Logic
« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2012, 04:13:28 am »
Heh, I could go on for hours on Kingdom Hearts alone... but besides making me look like a pathetic fanboy it would completely derail the thread. So I'll just leave this here for now, until I get some sleep:

I hate when games throw random puzzles in that have no business being there. Puzzles can be fun and all, but they should at least make some kind of sense.
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Offline MaybeNever

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Re: Video Game Logic
« Reply #9 on: February 16, 2012, 04:51:33 am »
Planescape: Torment: You walk into a bar and the barman sells you an eyeball in a jar of $500. What do you do? Why, you rip out one of your eyes and shove your new purchase in the socket.

If you're an immortal regenerating amnesiac who apparently possesses the power of genetic memory and it was your own eyeball, this makes perfect sense. A more worrisome example of the pre-game logic is that the barkeep was okay with taking some guy's eye for collateral on his tab.
« Last Edit: February 16, 2012, 05:11:32 am by MaybeNever »
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Re: Video Game Logic
« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2012, 04:59:19 am »
Planescape: Torment: You walk into a bar and the barman sells you an eyeball in a jar of $500. What do you do? Why, you rip out one of your eyes and shove your new purchase in the socket.

If you're an immortal regenerating amnesiac who apparently possesses the power of genetic memory and it was your own eyeball, this makes perfect sense. A more worrisome example of the pre-game logic is that the barkeep was okay with taking some guy's eye for collateral on his tab.

It sounded better without the context.

Though there's also the matter of the barman charging you $500 quid for your own eyeball in a jar, but he's perfectly fine with you reviving and simply walking away with Ignus, the main attraction of his establishment. It would be like the owner of a gentleman's club not batting en eyelid at you just waltzing in and taking all the strippers away.

Offline Askold

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Re: Video Game Logic
« Reply #11 on: February 16, 2012, 05:07:37 am »
Gabriel Knight 3:
In order to disguise yourself to look like a man who has no moustache you must make a fake moustache for yourself.

Also said moustache is obtained by putting some tape into a fence and making a cat run past the tape in order to get cat hair.

I loved the first Garbiel Knight game but the puzzles in GK3 are illogical. And Art: I also have The longest journey, the game is beautiful and the story isn't bad but most of the puzzles would fit into this thread.
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Offline MaybeNever

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Re: Video Game Logic
« Reply #12 on: February 16, 2012, 05:12:43 am »
Planescape: Torment: You walk into a bar and the barman sells you an eyeball in a jar of $500. What do you do? Why, you rip out one of your eyes and shove your new purchase in the socket.

If you're an immortal regenerating amnesiac who apparently possesses the power of genetic memory and it was your own eyeball, this makes perfect sense. A more worrisome example of the pre-game logic is that the barkeep was okay with taking some guy's eye for collateral on his tab.

It sounded better without the context.

Though there's also the matter of the barman charging you $500 quid for your own eyeball in a jar, but he's perfectly fine with you reviving and simply walking away with Ignus, the main attraction of his establishment. It would be like the owner of a gentleman's club not batting en eyelid at you just waltzing in and taking all the strippers away.

I always wondered about that too.
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Re: Video Game Logic
« Reply #13 on: February 16, 2012, 05:19:33 am »
I also have The longest journey, the game is beautiful and the story isn't bad but most of the puzzles would fit into this thread.
You just reminded me somehow of another gem from The Longest Journey. Need to get into the office building of the imitation-Scientologists to stop their leader from fucking everything up? First, try to argue your way past the receptionist. Fail miserably, then return ten seconds later holding a pizza box you dug out of the garbage, put on the worst Bronx accent you possibly can and say you have a pizza for the CEO. You'll be buzzed straight through without so much as a second glance.

Offline erictheblue

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Re: Video Game Logic
« Reply #14 on: February 16, 2012, 08:37:33 am »
I hate when games throw random puzzles in that have no business being there. Puzzles can be fun and all, but they should at least make some kind of sense.

BioWare's fascination with the Tower of Hanoi. There are so many ways advanced alien civilizations could secure their technology, but they all use the same puzzle. (I know it shows up in KotOR and ME1. Probably other games, but those are the ones I remember.)
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