There was that one I was at about 13 years ago....
It went badly from the start. At about ten o'clock on a Saturday morning, a friend called me up and asked me if I had the suit I'd worn at my brother's wedding the previous month. When I said yes, he asked me to put it on so that we could go to a friend's wedding.
Bit odd, as I'm sure you'll agree, the story deepened when my friend arrived. A mutual friend of ours was marrying his girlfriend and pretty much all her family and friends and the majority of his friends didn't want anything to do with either of them. This had a lot to do with the fact that she was 17 and he was 39. He'd lived next door to her family for all of her life and when her father had objected to the marriage, she'd blurted out "But we've been going out for four years!" (I learned that nugget later, which made me walk out) No wonder no-one wanted anything to do with them.
The wedding itself was a civil affair, the reception was held in a pub. By that, I don't mean that a room was booked in a pub for a reception, I mean that we went to the pub for what passed for the reception. The pub was one of the roughest I've ever been in - think of the boozer where the American tourist gets beaten up in
Trainspotting and you've got it. We had the Best Man's speech constantly being interrupted by some drunken old sot at the bar who wanted to talk about the Miners Strike. Hopefully, it will remain the only wedding I attend where the Bride is threatened with stabbing if she throws the bouquet.
And the Marriage only last six months.
On the brighter side of things, I've been to a couple of re-enactor weddings: Roasted animal (Pig, cow and chickens), everyone in kit and best of all, the bridal waltz at one of them to the strains of AC/DC's Back in Black played on the bagpipes.
