FSTDT Forums
Community => The Lounge => Topic started by: aebars on February 25, 2013, 08:20:35 am
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Swiped the following from Rationalwiki:
Obama's position makes him very busy. Here is just a bit of what he has to go through:
* 9:00 AM: Morning call to prayer, as a seekrit Muslim.
* 9:10 AM: Renounce previous call to prayer, as a seekrit Atheist.
* 9:30 AM: Eat babies for breakfast.
* 10:30 AM: Brunch with Bin Laden.
* 11:00 AM: Institute socialism.
* 11:30 AM: Lock people up in FEMA concentration camps.
* 12:00 AM: Death to America.
* 12:30 PM: Eat puppies for lunch. Sacrifice a kitten to Satan.
* 12:40 PM: Go to the toilet. Use an American flag, the Constitution and pages from the Bible as toilet paper.
* 1:00 PM: Throw welcoming party for illegal Mexican immigrants, invading North Korean soldiers and Al Qaeda suicide bombers
* 1:30 PM: Tour kindergartens handing out condoms.
* 2:00 PM: Steal money from hardworkin' white job-creators at gunpoint and hand that money out to homeless black people on street corners.
* 2:30 PM: Plant fake dinosaur and neanderthal fossils in the ground to make people believe in evolution.
* 3:00 PM: Crash planes into Pentagon.
* 3:30 PM: Conspire with aliens at Masonic lodges, the Bilderberg Conference, the Bohemian Grove and the Skull & Bones Crypt.
* 4:00 PM: Censor conservatives.
* 4:30 PM: Preside over gay weddings.
* 5:00 PM: Confiscate (largely defensive weapons of) guns.
* 5:30 PM: Serve on government-funded healthcare death panels. Deny service to babies with down syndrome. Pull the plugs on grandmothers.
* 6:00 PM: Call leaders of Vast Liberal Media Conspiracy, dictate stories for the evening news.
* 6:30 PM: Cut military funding.
* 7:00 PM: Attend drug and gay sex party in Lincoln Bedroom.
* 7:30 PM: Eat baby seals for dinner.
* 8:00 PM: Deface portraits of the good Presidents: Reagan, Washington, Reagan, Lincoln, Reagan, Nixon, Reagan, Warren G. Harding, Reagan, George W. Bush, Reagan and Reagan.
* 9:00 PM: Come up with new forged birth certificate.
* 9:30 PM: Curl up in an armchair with a mug of cocoa to read Mein Kampf, Das Kapital and the Necronomicon.
* 10:00 PM: Telephone various half-siblings, cousins, aunts, in-laws and invite them to come to the US illegally.
* 10:30 PM: Stand on balcony overlooking Washington D.C., talons raised overhead, and laugh maniacally with the Imperial March, Sauron's Theme or Night on Bald Mountain playing in the background.
* 11:00 PM: After a light snack of aborted fetal tissue, retire to bed.
* 3:00 AM: Ignore urgent phone call from Pentagon; tired after hard day of implementing socialism and destroying America.
Tee-hee.
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Just so long as he doesn't start playing the banjo.......
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Congrats, newbie. You just earned your first "Fuck Yeah," courtesy of yours truly.
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