One day, Bob fucked his sister like a boss. Bob's sister then kicked him in the spleen, which made him orgasm. Then he wiped up his cum with their cat which she raped with a rusty pickup truck. Then Christian Weston Chandler ate his own Mother and Father with fava beans. He-Man then arrived with a boner and shot Bob with his own semen. Ironbite appeared and, with his teeth killed Bob's sister. Bob kept her head in a box to fuck. The putrefying head gave better head than all other stray cats Bob ever had.
Suddenly, Kool-Aid Man broke through Bob's wall, screaming, "That's my large hairy malformed scrotum, you bastard!" He proceeded to commit suicide by thermonuclear explosion, causing absolutely nothing, oddly. Bryan Fischer then developed end-stage rabies and bit wolves. Zombie George Washington & werebear Teddy Roosevelt then fucked violently, causing worldwide earthquakes and everyone orgasmed. The earthquakes broke your mom's gigantic china tea set, bringing DOOOOOOOOM upon Middle-Earth. Consequently, many elf-maidens were fucked by horny dwarves and gave birth to Molag Bal onto your cat. Molag Bal then fucked your mom, impregnating her with evil clones of the Bush brothers. To stop them Daft Punk, Deadmau5, and Rammstein equipped werewolves with chainsaws, and flamethrower masks along with grenades. But they forgot to do a Miranda rights reading. Nobody cared, though.
Bob then drank dolphin sperm, thinking it was God.
"My bunghole is about to explode. Does anybody have toilet paper to contain the blast?" Saith the Lord. Unfortunately, nobody did. Thus, floods of horny rabid locust's pet Time Lords vomited prune juice inside Republicans' urethras. The resulting infections created Reaganomics Zombies. Also, real zombies. Who ignored Republicans because they had no brains or hearts. Bob tried piloting an EVA, but failed because his dead sister already was; she'd sold her body to Gendo Ikari and raped Batman. Naturally, Batman had Bat Anti-Rape Missiles because the Joker was really into surprise butt play. Just ask Robin!
Suddenly, Till Lindemann became completely irrelevant. Horrified, time exploded. So Richard Kruspe baked a cake and screwed your sister and daughter out of $500,000,000. He donated this large plot device to Hugh Hefner and injected him with squid DNA, thus granting him incredible squid powers. Suddenly, his scrotum achieved sentience. Afterwards Schneider raped Flake, but Riedel saved some cold pizza and brined hagfish to build bombs for orphans.
Meanwhile, in the past, in ancient Sumer, Lugal Ur-Nammu slaughtered many Gutians with a cheesecake made of broken glass and ceramics because it's Tuesday in Australia, which dancing peacock spiders consider really sexy. Meanwhile, Enki's nam-shub peed on Bob's sister's hairy vagina. Bob responded by fucking her like a raging antelope like a boss. She shot him to death. Paradoxes fuck shit up. Nevertheless, we continue.
Now, Bob's mother conspired with the Flying Spaghetti Monster to rape Persephone. Demeter took exception and murderraped the human, 'forgave' FSM, dying afterwards.
God spoke: "Let there be lesbian orgies." So Sarah Palin spelled "God" "D. R. U. G. S."
Hearing this, Nyarlathotep shat his pantaloons. Santa then raped the Easter Bunny, who gave birth to Mr. Lordi. This story is now diamonds.
Bob sacrificed Justin Bieber to Gene Simmons' vagina, rather pointlessly because it was stolen. The thief, Obama, had eaten it. Or did he!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!1!?1?!!!111?!!!??1OMGWTFBBQ!? The TF2 Pyro, in hir glory, set fire to your mother's penis. She sheathed it in your mouth, extinguishing the flame.
Hitler then ejaculated like a boss into Stalin's ass for great justice and Mussolini watched zombie cocks cum on Anne Frank, who kills dictators with her tits. Suddenly Oskar Schindler helped exterminate Jews. After eating babies, he kissed Hitler's anus, causing a gay Nazi orgy. The purple cow killed all Nazis and made zombies with FSM's help. Baby serial killers rebooted the universe, including Bob's sister sledge albums.
Poptarts are delicious, but Bob laced them with dinosaur semen and rat turds. He gave them to Abraham Lincoln on his deathbed. Meanwhile, several zombies consumed each other because of reasons. "BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!", said Mr. Lordi of the Dance! He dropped a deuce on stage then ran off, fucking Gene Simmons like a boss. Gene Simmons orgamsed with extreme prejudice because Trent Reznor also likes buttsekz. But only when Jeordie White fucks warm apple pie and rabid wolves descend on him, devouring his entire collateralised debt obligations.
Cows go "moo" when confronted by inhumane meat-factory conditions. Indeed, several cows love being eaten.
"OM NOM NOM" - No Overweight Militaries. This illustrious organisation is not illustrious because of stupid anti illustrious bastards.
Fucking shit cocks on a stick covered in bees. "Bees. My god. BEEEEEZ!!!" exclaimed Mussolini. Batman Nicolas Cage and Lady Gaga fought crime together...until the Joker shat in her flowers of evil. She turned into Ziggy Stardust. He played guitar, causing meteors to fall on Justin Bieber. Aladdin Sane then blocked the meteors with David Bowie's giant hairy balls. It was so obviously faked, that Breen screamed "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX!" and threw a computer monitor at Evil Emperor Zurg's zerg rush. Amazingly, they all exploded.
I like pie! Rubbed all over my balls with a hungry kitten nibbling my cock like a boss. Ich liebe dich über die brücke, sagte er zu dem Fett Hure. Die Hure war sehr hässlich. Die HURR DURR DURR. THIS IS MADNESS! THIS IS MAYHEM! This is PATRICK! THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING, FOOLS!
"Bob, wake up!" said Bob's sister while she was making breakfast. "You've made me wet." Bob's cat then spit roasted a live human baby.
"Tastes like chicken!", Buffy Summers yelled while eating its greasy, under-cooked legs
