Boko Haram is having troubles with wildlife

[Ultimate Paragon]

https://news.vice.com/article/snakes-and-bees-are-driving-boko-haram-out-of-the-forest

Boko Haram militants have fled from deep within the Nigerian forest in the northeast of the country, after incessant snake bites and bee stings became too much for them to bear, according to local media reports.

Two suspected Boko Haram fighters were captured by the Nigerian civilian JTF army after they fled from the Sambisa Forest, in Borno State. The gunmen reportedly said they were being attacked by mystical bees and snakes that had already killed many other insurgents.

“We decided to flee when almost all our comrades are leaving the Sambisa because of constant attacks by snakes and bees, which we were told was as a result of Chibok abducted schoolgirls,” one of the two militants told Nigerian newspaper, the Vanguard.

Apparently, bees and snakes are feared by Boko Haram fighters, as they are known to cause fatal injuries or make people disappear. It is also believed the bites and stings are in retaliation for the group's civilian kidnappings and killings in the surrounding region.

“We were told that the aggrieved people who had suffered from our deadly mission, including the ghosts of some of those we killed, are the ones turning into the snake and bees,” added another militant.

Priceless.

[Stormwarden]

Sounds golden to me. I wonder what prices I can get for Boko Haram tears...

[niam2023]

Ghost Bees. GHOST BEES. GHOST BEES AND SNAKES.

[Art Vandelay]

Funny. There's nothing whatsoever in any sect of Islam about ghost bees and snakes. I believe that by claiming otherwise, Boko Haram are committing Shirk, the worst sin in Islam by far.

In fact, I've noticed that violating their own religion is a running theme of Islamic terrorists. Gotta love the irony.

[niam2023]

Well, if I die, I know what I'm doing!

[Askold]

Well, if I die, I know what I'm doing!

Slowly decompose?

[niam2023]

No! I am going to come back as a swarm of Ghost Bees and Ghost Snakes, and haunt the shit out of everyone.

[Art Vandelay]

I, on the other hand, will be coming back as a ghost human, so I can haunt bees and snakes.

[Cerim Treascair]

I wanna come back as a ghost badger.

[Witchyjoshy]

I'd be fine with haunting some fundie churches for awhile until I get bored enough to reincarnate.

[Dakota Bob]

I wanna come back as a ghost badger.

A ghost honey badger, I hope?

[Ultimate Paragon]

I wanna come back as a ghost badger.

A ghost honey badger, I hope?

I imagine it would give even fewer fucks than regular honey badgers.

[Barbarella]

I love it, the critters of Africa are turning on these monsters!

I know it's some weird Disney/Dr. Doolittle fantasy but I would love for all of Africa's wildlife to become super-sapient and decide to run all the corrupt out of the continent!

IslamoNuts....Dictators....Murder-Militias....Poachers....Slave-Driving Diamond Tycoons....Psycho ChristoNuts....Corrupted Witch Doctors Who Are A Disgrace To Shamans Everywhere.........PURINA LION CHOW!

[Cerim Treascair]

I wanna come back as a ghost badger.

A ghost honey badger, I hope?

I imagine it would give even fewer fucks than regular honey badgers.

Ya fuckin' right! mwahahaha!

[Random Gal]

Ghost Bees. GHOST BEES. GHOST BEES AND SNAKES.