Author Topic: I take my leave  (Read 11644 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Oriet

  • Homo sapiens scientia
  • Bishop
  • ***
  • Posts: 159
  • Gender: Female
  • Disabled Vet MtF Polyamorous Atheist Auspie
I take my leave
« on: February 06, 2012, 06:47:50 pm »
I know people are already aware of this, but I will say it myself so there will be no doubt.

I find I must leave FSTDT, and I don't know if I'll ever be back.

I used to love this site. I really did. I did what I could to help keep it running the way that myself and others liked, by encouraging rational discussion about all sorts of topics. There were always periods where there'd be more or less rationality on average, but it was the best place for it that I could find, especially that was able to talk about such a wide variety of topics. Things would often get heated and flames would fly, but it was almost always able to be resolved through rational discussion.

This is no longer the case. Somehow, over the course of months or years as membership slowly changed as people came and went, the community as a whole shifted. Because it was gradual it went largely unnoticed, only becoming visible when the forum would get hit by a shitstorm. I don't know when rationality went out of vogue. I don't know when it became perfectly fine for large numbers of forumites to outright admit to not having rationality and somehow expect to not have any dissenting opinion on such allowed. It used to be that we would tackle the points people actually made in a topic, quoting it and pointing out mistakes or showing how it doesn't say what they mean; now people outright admit their arguments are based on "chasing shadows of strawmen", that the opposition is actually correct, but patting themselves on the back for being the victor in throwing the most insults, having the most dickish behaviour, and getting away with the most rules violations.

I love rationality, but the amount of it on the forum has been dropping at an ever increasing rate. I hate argumentation so bad it can't even be called argumentation, I hate outright contradictions within individual posts, I hate people railing against someone for some perceived slight while engaging in far worse behaviour to do so, yet all of that has been on the rise. I remember when facts and logic won debates, now it's shifting to whomever can make the best passive aggressive, completely non sequitor personal first. I do not know why this has happened, as I've even tried to fight against such when I noticed it, but here we are.

I still do not know what people feel I have done wrong that they feel justified in attacking almost every aspect of my being. I don't know what slight I committed that made people rely on talking as though I'm not there when I've been participating. I do not know when people felt my questions and concerns were not even worth and "I'm not gonna tell ya 'cause you're a doodie-head."

I've asked people why they were attacking me, yet no one bothered to respond with anything beyond more attacks. I even had to face all of this from a fellow moderator, who again never had the decency to address any of my questions or concerns. I don't know why people feel I would put up with this sort of nonsense when many know quite well that I didn't put up with it from my relatives, whom I had been quite close to.

If you've actually bothered to read this far instead of going "TL;DR" then I thank you. I will miss many people here. There are also many I will not miss at all, some of whom I would have missed had I not seen them cheering for my leaving and having moderator status removed. As everyone should be aware, the last bit of problems started here and eventually moved over to here, which then later spawned this. If you actually want to understand my reasons for leaving you cannot just say "tl;dr" and expect a synopsis, as far too much happened for that. Those threads and the IRC (the logs of which can be found in various threads) are not the only reasons I'm leaving. There was never an official rule made against this, and considering how important for understanding I feel it to be I will post part of the conversation from the mod room. Sandman, if you feel I overstepped my bounds I apologise and understand fully if you remove it, but as I said I do feel it has an important piece to why I no longer feel welcomed in this community, and wish to at least give people the opportunity to see it.

I would say I will miss coming here, but it's unfortunately already a past event. I miss what this forum used to be like (even when Skyfire, Julian, or FMG were causing problems), and I still wish I knew what I did wrong to be as insulted and slighted as what seems to be half the forum has been directing at me, but I can tell that on the whole I am not welcomed (for whatever reason) and instead of taking the abuse I will simply make my exit.

~Oriet
The Rules, get to know them.


Offline Jebediah

  • Official FSTDT Welcome Committee Head
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 722
  • Gender: Female
  • Winner.
Re: I take my leave
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2012, 06:59:41 pm »
Somehow, over the course of months or years as membership slowly changed as people came and went, the community as a whole shifted.

I've noticed this shift and I'm pretty sad about it. I will miss you, Oriet.
Everybody's doin' the fish.

Offline Mira

  • Literally Worse Than Hitler
  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 293
  • Cisphobic reverse racist
    • Houserule Gaming
Re: I take my leave
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2012, 06:59:57 pm »
Oriet has pretty much summed up my feelings about FSTDT these days.

I'm not leaving quite yet. I definitely am too curious as to what is going to happen to leave right now. However, I can see myself not being around here in the not-too-distant future.
I’ve grown overfed, unconcerned and comfortably numb
Kept busy indulging in the pleasures of the wealthy
Oh, someone make me afraid of what I’ve become!

Offline MaybeNever

  • Got His Red Wings
  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 332
  • Gender: Male
  • Possessed of a proclivity for prolixity
Re: I take my leave
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2012, 07:03:27 pm »
I'm sad to see you go, Oriet. Same with Nappy leaving. Same with Vene leaving, if he's doing that. I'm not actually clear one way or the other with respect to him. I've noticed the kind of change you're talking about, and if you feel like leaving, at this point, is the right option for you then godspeed and good luck. Again, same to Vene if that applies.
"Great Britain's two most senior military officers added to the uneasiness. [...] Lord Wolseley, Adjutant General, thought that it might be possible for an enemy to invade without waiters and pastrycooks."
-Robert K. Massie, Dreadnought

Offline sandman

  • The Eternal
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1100
  • Gender: Male
  • We Have Such Sights To Show You.
Re: I take my leave
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2012, 07:05:20 pm »
Why would I object? I have nothing to hide. Never did. If you are referring to the Kitt comment, do I need to explain that I in no way hold Kitt's disagreement with me against him? I hope you'll come back, I always did like you.
"In case you're interested, there's still some positions available for that bonus opportunity I mentioned earlier. Again: all you gotta do is let
us disassemble you. We're not banging rocks together here. We know how to put a man back together. So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals. Spit-shine on the old ones. Plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us." -Cave Johnson

Offline Hades

  • Balsiest Motherfucker Present
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1082
  • Gender: Male
  • This is a ride, not a fight
    • Fruits of Apathy
Re: I take my leave
« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2012, 07:08:38 pm »
I am sorry it came to this, Oriet. I certainly understand why you feel the way you do, and I feel the same way. A lot has changed, and I don't even know when it happened.

I'm going to miss seeing you around the forum. You were one of the first people I started recognizing when I first came to FSTDT.
22:22 <SugarFreeJazz> the time for hats is now

"I don't know what it is, but nothing makes me hard like the thought of Megan Fox without any skin." - Existentialist Goofy

Offline Osama bin Bambi

  • The Black Witch
  • Kakarot
  • ******
  • Posts: 10167
  • Gender: Female
Re: I take my leave
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2012, 07:09:42 pm »
I am sorry it came to this, Oriet. I certainly understand why you feel the way you do, and I feel the same way. A lot has changed, and I don't even know when it happened.

I'm going to miss seeing you around the forum. You were one of the first people I started recognizing when I first came to FSTDT.

This. I hope you come back later when shit settles down.
Formerly known as Eva-Beatrice and Wykked Wytch.

Quote from: sandman
There are very few problems that cannot be solved with a good taint punching.

Offline gyeonghwa

  • Uppity and Proud of It
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2041
  • Gender: Male
  • That angry queer your tone trolls warned you about
    • Queer & Khmer
Re: I take my leave
« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2012, 07:14:14 pm »
It really should not have come to this but a few pushed too hard and many good regulars left as a result. I had contemplate leaving because I didn't like the idea of pushing others to leave simply over disagreement but I chose to stay because I have made a niche here.




* gyeonghwa hugs Oriet
That may be the single gayest thing I have ever read on this board. Or the old one. ;)

QueenofHearts

  • Guest
Re: I take my leave
« Reply #8 on: February 06, 2012, 07:28:35 pm »
I'm sad to see you go, Oriet. Same with Nappy leaving. Same with Vene leaving, if he's doing that. I'm not actually clear one way or the other with respect to him. I've noticed the kind of change you're talking about, and if you feel like leaving, at this point, is the right option for you then godspeed and good luck. Again, same to Vene if that applies.

I'll miss you too. Even though I'm relatively new, when I used to lurk, I found you three to be very intelligent people and hoped one day to contribute with you in discussion. I've also looked up to you (Oriet) in particular as a sort of trans-role-model. Again, sorry to see you go before we could get to know one another better and I sincerely wish you the best and would like to see you on FSTDT again someday.

EDIT@ Gyeonghwa (and other users who have made similar statements): It would really make a bad situation worse and sadden me to see you leave  :(
« Last Edit: February 06, 2012, 07:32:38 pm by QueenofHearts »

Offline Jodie

  • Cyborg Wannabe
  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 387
  • Gender: Female
  • WTF???
    • Doodles and stuff
Re: I take my leave
« Reply #9 on: February 06, 2012, 07:33:25 pm »
Everyone else has said what I wanted to say. I do hope you decide to return some day, but regardless if that happens or not, take care.  :'(
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Corinthians 13: 4-7

Offline gyeonghwa

  • Uppity and Proud of It
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2041
  • Gender: Male
  • That angry queer your tone trolls warned you about
    • Queer & Khmer
Re: I take my leave
« Reply #10 on: February 06, 2012, 07:41:57 pm »
Don't worry, QueenofHearts. I'll stay because there is still a sense of community for me here. Admittedly, it won't garner the same intimacy or trust as it did before, but I just want to see it get back on it's feet again.

* gyeonghwa hugs
« Last Edit: February 06, 2012, 07:44:29 pm by gyeonghwa »
That may be the single gayest thing I have ever read on this board. Or the old one. ;)

Offline davedan

  • Lord Cracker
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2854
Re: I take my leave
« Reply #11 on: February 06, 2012, 10:01:28 pm »
I just wanted to say I am very sorry to see you and Vene go. You were/ are  two of my favourite forumites and my only suppliers of avatars. 

I really hope it gets to the point where you can come back.

Offline The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist

  • The Very Punny Punisher and Owner of the Most Glorious Chest
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 4316
  • Gender: Female
  • And I fired two warning shots... into his head.
    • Tumblr Image Blog
Re: I take my leave
« Reply #12 on: February 06, 2012, 10:12:14 pm »
I'm really sorry to hear that you're leaving. I know you and I have never really had the chance to get to know one another (something I regret, in hindsight), but I've always had a ton of respect for you as a mod and a fellow member. You've been an invaluable asset to the community, and will definitely be missed.

No matter what happens, I wish you and all of the members who have chosen to leave the very best. Take care, Oriet. *hug*

Edit: I am unsure if Vene is leaving, but if he is, all of the above (sans the bits about moderation, of course) apply to him as well. I have a ton of respect for both of you.
« Last Edit: February 06, 2012, 10:13:47 pm by Mlle Antéchrist »
"Je me presse de rire de tout, de peur d'être obligé d'en pleurer."

My Blog (Sometimes NSFW)

Offline Eniliad

  • Sword And Shield Of The Innocent
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1265
  • Gender: Male
  • Perpetually horny cock-slave
Re: I take my leave
« Reply #13 on: February 07, 2012, 04:30:30 am »
While I disagree - vehemently - with your assessment of FSTDT, I can say this: Of all the people who said crazy shit last night, you were not one of them. I honestly don't know you that well, but I hope you see fit to return at some point.

Cheers.
<Miles> "If dildoes are outlawed then only outlaws will have dildoes."
Quote from: Mlle Antéchrist
Yeah, gays cause hurricanes, tits cause earthquakes, and lack of prayer causes tornadoes. Learn to science, people.
Quote from: Mlle Antéchrist
Porn peddlers peddling pedal porn? My life is complete.

Offline Yla

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 809
  • Gender: Male
Re: I take my leave
« Reply #14 on: February 07, 2012, 05:03:11 am »
Goodbye, Oriet. I hope you and everyone else come back some day.
That said, I've stopped trying to anticipate what people around here want a while ago, I've found it makes things smoother.
For I was an hungred, and ye told me to pull myself up by my bootstraps: I was thirsty, and ye demanded payment for the privilege of thine urine: I was a stranger, and ye deported me: naked, and ye arrested me for indecency.