Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 364111 times)

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Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1455 on: January 27, 2013, 05:00:33 am »
Granted. It turns out that George Bush frequently enjoyed threesomes with your parents.

I wish the cat wasn't as annoying.

Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1456 on: January 27, 2013, 05:03:27 am »
Wish granted.  The cat is less annoying, but only negligibly so.

I wish I could draw really well and charge people money for commissions.

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By the way, Art:  George H. W. Bush or George W. Bush?
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1457 on: January 27, 2013, 08:24:49 am »
Granted, but the only commissions you get are for hermaphroditic hippos being hentacled.

I wish to be able to come up with hilariously filthy limericks on the spot, without needing to think about it.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Indikins

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1458 on: January 27, 2013, 10:09:10 am »
Granted. You are now capable of communicating with others only via filthy limericks.

I wish my writer's block would vanish and never return.
I once had a nightmare about chickens pecking me to death on my driveway. I told my sister to save herself.

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Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1459 on: January 27, 2013, 10:13:42 am »
By the way, Art:  George H. W. Bush or George W. Bush?
I'll go with Bush Jr.

In other news, granted, but you don't have any hands.

I wish I was less hungry.

Offline rookie

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1460 on: January 27, 2013, 10:49:23 am »
Granted. Not only are you less hungry, but are sitting at a steak house with your friends, flush from the cash you won at a poker tournament.

I wish for large amounts of legitimate money in my bank account.
The difference between 0 and 1 is infinite. The difference between 1 and a million is a matter of degree. - Zack Johnson

Quote from: davedan board=pg thread=6573 post=218058 time=1286247542
I'll stop eating beef lamb and pork the same day they start letting me eat vegetarians.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1461 on: January 27, 2013, 06:48:21 pm »
Granted, but it's life insurance from your favorite person in the world dying a horrible, horrible death.

I wish I had more free time.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1462 on: January 28, 2013, 11:13:46 pm »
Granted, but nobody wants anything to do with you and none of your electronics work either.

I wish that I could buy every cd I could ever want without breaking the bank.
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Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1463 on: January 29, 2013, 03:54:53 am »
Granted. Turns out that idiots breed fast enough to more than outpace one per day.
(I was quite aware of this fact) Be great to wave good-bye to the crème de la crème though....

Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1464 on: January 29, 2013, 03:56:14 am »
I wish for some Nutella.
(Granted, it's been fucked by a high school football team though.)

Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1465 on: January 29, 2013, 03:59:24 am »
I wish the cat wasn't as annoying.
Granted, it graduates to psychopathically evil. You're more shitscared of it than a dozen hungry tigers.

Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1466 on: January 29, 2013, 04:02:59 am »
I wish I had more free time.
Granted. You're immortal. Gets pretty boring long before we evolve into a new species, and there's only 500 million years or so before Earth becomes too hostile for mulitcellular life and it's just you and the goop. Wait till the sun dies. Then the galaxy, and you have to swim to another one...

Offline Julian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1467 on: January 29, 2013, 04:07:52 am »
I wish that I could buy every cd I could ever want without breaking the bank.
Granted, but only because CDs are obsolete and no one has a working CD player any more or legacy drivers. They sell them to you because it's cheaper than having them dumped or ground up. You have so many CDs you can't actually walk into half the rooms in your house, nor can you afford the awesome holographic recorders everyone else has.

I wish Apple took Steve Jobs last will and testament to go thermonuclear literally and tried to create an i-bomb to supplant the H-bomb.


Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1468 on: January 29, 2013, 04:57:45 am »
Granted, but they start selling them to North Korea, Iran and Saudi Arabia to make up for Android OS eating into their smartphone-based profits.

Offline rookie

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1469 on: January 29, 2013, 09:28:49 am »
I wish you made a wish for me to corrupt.
The difference between 0 and 1 is infinite. The difference between 1 and a million is a matter of degree. - Zack Johnson

Quote from: davedan board=pg thread=6573 post=218058 time=1286247542
I'll stop eating beef lamb and pork the same day they start letting me eat vegetarians.