Wishes Will Be Corrupted

[MadmanJohnson]

Granted, you get a tumor instead!

I wish I had the power to create living Sleepy dolls.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted, but all they do is sleep, so they're pretty boring.

I wish to die of a heart attack while in a foursome with gorgeous female identical triplets.

[PosthumanHeresy]

Granted, but all they do is sleep, so they're pretty boring.

I wish to die of a heart attack while in a foursome with gorgeous female identical triplets.

Granted. They continue fucking your corpse for years.

I wish to watch the world burn.

[Valerius]

Granted. The burning world catches you on fire, and you burn to death.

I wish mead wasn't so expensive.

[PosthumanHeresy]

Granted. The burning world catches you on fire, and you burn to death.

I wish mead wasn't so expensive.

Granted. It's free, because you now piss mead.

I wish I had a TARDIS.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted, but it breaks down, stranding you in hyperspace.

I wish I was a fish.

[Valerius]

Granted. A killer whale eats you.

I wish Victorian-era men's clothing was still in fashion.

[PosthumanHeresy]

Granted. A killer whale eats you.

I wish Victorian-era men's clothing was still in fashion.

Granted, but so is their society.

I wish I had more cats.

[MadmanJohnson]

Granted,but you are now a crazy cat lady.

I wish I had a gun capable of shooting burning fetuses at people.

[Sigmaleph]

Granted. Foetuses are not included, though, and you get arrested trying to harvest them.

I wish I won a Nobel prize, in any of the currently existing categories.

[MadmanJohnson]

Granted, but it's for a portal that allows the Elder Gods to take over earth in science.

I wish that everything the Daily Mail was true.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted. You get lynched when people find out your wish is responsible for the new dystopia.

I wish for the archery skills of Legolas, the ax-fighting skills of Gimli and the leadership skills of Aragorn.

[PosthumanHeresy]

Granted. You get lynched when people find out your wish is responsible for the new dystopia.

I wish for the archery skills of Legolas, the ax-fighting skills of Gimli and the leadership skills of Aragorn.

Granted, but you have the weight of CWC, the sanity of Charles Manson and the psychopathy of Richard Ramirez.

I wish for a Klondike bar.

[Art Vandelay]

Granted, but you have to do unspeakably horrible things for it.

I wish I could sleep.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted. You're in a coma.

I wish for the swordsmanship skills of Miyamoto Musashi.