Rules from last forum, modified:Liberal Serial Killer Targets American Heroes, Nation Mourns.
Say you are person 1. You post situation, as innocuous or humorous as you desire ("Obama wears a red tie.")
Person 2, who writes in below you, fills in the way the situation would be spun so the end result is extremely conservative ("Obama: Secret Communist"). They then post their own situation ("Obama wears a blue tie.").
Person 3, who writes in below them, fills in that spin ("Obama Refuses To Compromise"), then posts their own situation ("Sarah Palin is a secret lesbian").
And it goes into infinity.
I shall start: The entire WBC commits suicide a la Jonestown.
Liberal Bias In Science ExposedSee your previous spin
Statistics find that more children come out as gay as a result of going through a Jesus camp or something similar.
Job Creators Cause Record Profits for Funeral Homes; Help Small BusinessesLiberal Bias In Science ExposedSee your previous spin
Statistics find that more children come out as gay as a result of going through a Jesus camp or something similar.
Koch brothers order Tea Party members to go on shooting spree, while sparing conservatives and corporations.
Liberal war on Christmas getting deadlyIs America Ready for Disabled Homosexual President?
Gay Autistic man runs for president and becomes the Democratic front runner in 2012
Former President Bush caught in love triangle between Laura and Cheny.
Liberals want to take your dog's freedom to reproduce!Horror movie industry, Have they gone too far?
Plans unveiled for movie of Barack Obama's life.
Zero Tolerance Laws Ruin Birthday
Car Wreckage Looks Vaguely Like Traditional Portrayal of Jesus from Air
Christian Protest Groups rally at services for controversial teenChristian website attacked by Satan-worshipping socialists
RaptureReady is DDoS'd by Anonymous
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic hits #1 in the Neilsen Raitings
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic hits #1 in the Neilsen Raitings
Why does it seem like every third post of yours is about My Little Pony?
Liberals try to get kids to become latte-sipping pussiesGrassroots movement returns to the founding fathers' values.
Tea party members hunt homeless for sport, force middle class families at gunpoint to donate all that they own to the wealthy
More Liberal Slander! Do these People Hate America?
The corpses of Karl Marx and Adam Smith rise from the grave and start playing cards.
Muslim terror death apocalypse scenario murder kill chinese burn attempt foiled by Christian secret service agent.
POTUS Perry authorises retaliatory strikes on Tehran, Baghdad, Damascus and Seoul (Sarah Palin is his geography adviser and the airforce were having a four-for-three special on nukes that day).
Slut murders her baby!Scary Pagan Witchcraft!
Ragnarok occurs.
Global Warming Proved a HoaxObama's Private Army
Kony 2012
Santorum takes out commie liberal journalist trash!
Scientists create new technology that allows you to communicate with all the great minds throughout history.
The Devil Went Down To The USNews Corp Mourns Suicide of Valued Employee
...in 2016
FOX News reporter shot dead by a KKK member
Great President Revived and Refudiates Attempt at Mormon Conversion.Palin Supports Biblical Marriage
Documentary evidence is found that Sarah Palin was married to her cousin at age 13 - and that the marriage was never anulled.
Evil Liberal Commies Indulge in sinful ice cream pleasure!Mitt Romney Loves Job Creators!
Republican candidate confesses that he only cares about the 1%
GOP gains an powerful ally.New Season of 'The Apprentice' This Fall!
All GOP Presidential nominees to star on a new reality show.
Scientists spew liberal propaganda to help french industryAlabama Schools Uphold 2nd Amendment
Alabama schools replaces school lunches with .22 caliber rounds so pupils can hunt their own meals.
QE II admits she has made mistakes in the pastHouse Democrats Seek to Destroy Constitution
Controversial 19th amendment allowing women to vote passed by the House of Representatives
Bush Defends America's War RecordTerrorists Invade Israel
Moderate Muslim Becomes Prime Minister Of Israel
Santorum Raped by GoatSarah Palin, "UN pal-ing around with terrorists"
*Said goat was probably a liberal and a Muslim
Palestine is granted statehood by the UN.
Liberal Terrorists Commit Infamous Act of Vandlism Resulting in Losses of Hundreds of Thousands of Dollars to the East India Company.Rick Perry Advocates Homeschooling*
Rick Perry doesn't know how to read.
Obama attempts to corrupt hardworking Amish with socialism.Jesus has Returned!
Somebody clones Jesus, Hitler, and a Tyrannosaurus rex, then puts Jesus's brain in Hitler's body, puts Hitler's brain in the T-Rex's body, and puts the T-Rex's brain in Jesus's body.
God testing his people.News Corp. Welcomes Benevolent New Owners
The Chinese buy News Corp.
Santorum supports traditional valuesSantorum Convinces Limbaugh to Hire New Staff
Rush Limbaugh lays a silent but deadly on air, killing everyone in the studio.
Mitt Romney Sports New Look; Liberals Go NutsChinese Plot to Conquer United States Kills Mitt Romney
Insane bomber blows up presidential debate, killing both Obama and the Republican nominee. Bomber later issues "manifesto" composed of word salad. His stated reason: "Blue goats hate free Chinese food"
Ron Paul takes tough action to stimulate economy!Reduced Price on iPods!
China's economy posts growth rates of 8%.
Satan Claus uses witchcraft to destroy Christian!Immigrant Expects Free Healthcare, Gets What's Coming to Him
meanwhile, bonus MSNBC headline:
Mmm, Tasty!
Angel falls to Earth, breaks neck
Lesbian kills 147 in a bloody shootout.Michelle Obama Doesn't Know Her Place
Rosa Parks sits in the front section of a bus.
Baptists Proven to be The One True Religion
New regulation introduced that limits the amount of pollution that can be created by companies.
NOTICE: OUR HEADLINES ARE WRITTEN BY BELOVED HIGH-SCHOOL GRADUATE NICKNAMED(?) SCREECH, WHO IS ON VACATION!
Moon landing revealed to have been faked on Pluto.
Nancy Pelosi Wastes Congress' Time
National poll shows most Americans love death metal.
Environmentalist Freaks Raise Unholy ArmyRon Paul Support Homeschooling
Ron Paul Says He Likes Dolan Comics
(I assume you meant this Baal)(click to show/hide)
(sorry, not familiar with Raocow, so I'll be ignoring that headline)
Liberal Hollywood producers behind the terrorist attack?Barack Obama re-elected!
The world ends and it seems everybody(including all of Fox News) went to Hell.
Liberals surpress vote by requiring knowledge of communist documentSee? Republicans aren't racist!
George W. Bush and Condi Rice caught having an affair
Celebrate American Cuisine!
42 she-bears break into the Republican National Convention, eat all remotely viable candidates for the Republican nomination.
The whole nation has been corrupted by the liberal agenda.Celebrate American Cuisine!
42 she-bears break into the Republican National Convention, eat all remotely viable candidates for the Republican nomination.
Ron Paul the new Front Runner!!
support for legalizing recreational marijuana climbs to 90%
Satan Ice Skates To Work!Obama kowtows to the methane agenda
Obama farts.
Republicans raise standards for highest office in the landGOP spreading love to impovrished youths.
Scores of GOP Congressmen caught by Chris Hansen in "To Catch A Predator" sting
Homosexual Agenda reaches white houseWhat is the skin color of the mother
Woman gives birth to 400 babies
Why does it matter?Black = welfare children
Okay she's Arabic that should make it a little harder.jihadists plot to overrun America
Satyricon singing about religious themes at the RNC Meeting.Obama scorns the South.
Obama does not care about NASCAR
Mitt Romney should be declared The Eternal President of the Union (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_President_of_the_Republic)That wouldnt happen GOP hates science
In order to manipulate voter turnouts GOP chiefs hire biologists to develop a deadly supervirus which targets only liberals.
Naked man eat's homeless man's face in Florida
GOP attempts at science accidentally start Zombie Apocalypse
Liberals prove elitismNaked man eat's homeless man's face in Florida
GOP attempts at science accidentally start Zombie Apocalypse
The end times are upon us!
Nancy Pelosi hits a grand salami at the Congressional Baseball Game.
GODLESS MOTHERSHIP DESTROYED! ONLY ONE ZIG LEFT! VICTORY IS ASSURED!Assumes Muslims or blacks before checking facts (this happened in Norway actually with even NPR since some Muslim kid tweeted that he was part of a group that did the attack and people ran with that)
Killing spree in North Dakota.
Invisible liberal tries to assasinate John Boehner.Ghosts adore Romney
KKK Magazine names Mitt Romney Man of the Year.
(ahem)Invisible liberal tries to assasinate John Boehner.Ghosts adore Romney
KKK Magazine names Mitt Romney Man of the Year.
Fox hacked celebrity computers to find stories
Mitt Romney Named Man of the Year!
This happens:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnmhAlt55E8
sorry I thought the embed was part of mitt being named man of the year(ahem)Invisible liberal tries to assasinate John Boehner.Ghosts adore Romney
KKK Magazine names Mitt Romney Man of the Year.
Fox hacked celebrity computers to find storiesMitt Romney Named Man of the Year!
This happens:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnmhAlt55E8
Bush is a RINO!Rain destroys god fearing woman
Christine O'Donnell gets caught in a sudden rainstorm, melts.
Satan Brings Suffering To Several God-Fearing People!Reality has a liberal bias.
Founding Fathers discovered to have actually been mostly gay and in the closet.
Yiff yiffChristian group recommends aborting already dead fetuses
Christian doctors invent a way to screen whether your unborn baby will grow up gay. Family Christian Family Association recommends all true christians to use this screening and abort the gay before it's too late.
Hayabusa Attributes Comeback To Jesus!Rick Perry RINO
During one of the debates, Mitt Romney says that democracy is bad, and that it would be better if only rich people had a say in government. A subsequent Gallup survey shows that Romney is now polling at 9%, and Obama is poised to deliver the most crushing defeat in American electoral history since Washington. Texas governor Rick Perry goes so far as to declare that he is voting for Obama.
Black people are lazy
Fox News programming declared hate speech by multiple watch groups
Suspected illegal immigrant gets what was coming to her.Romney's new troop utilization offsets military spending - all patriots required to participate.
President Romney rents out spare US Military troops as mercenaries to fight various bloody wars around the world. Also everybody gets a 3 year conscription.
Republicans defend sanctity of life11 year old tries to pass the buck (oh god I'm sorry for typing that)
11-year-old rape victim tries to get lifesaving abortion
New King James Bible, with language for the 21st CenturyFox: kill him to keep status quo (that I think was a Morel Orell ep where they did kill Jesus's second form to keep status quo)
Gay, homeless person of color determined to be Jesus, the Son of God. (Not Hey-zues, the lawn care guy)
Nixon to Offset Pro-Human Bias with Fresh Views
The Democrats counter by reincarnating FDR.
GOP Takes Additional Steps to Reduce Voter FraudBritain plots to retake America.
Catherine Middleton (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kate_middleton) announces she is pregnant.
Group works to undermine pharmaceutical companies.NAACP revives racism.
Man who was given the death penalty is pardoned after overwhelming proof shows that original judge based decision of race.
Liberals try to rewrite the Bible!NASA betrays us to commies
In 2025, American astronaut Jessica Brewers becomes the first human to set foot on Mars. The second is Russian cosmonaut Vladimir Kolkovsky. Then, Kolkovsky drops to one knee unexpectedly, pulls out a ring, and asks Brewers to marry him. She accepts.
Did Obama Rig The Election?Congressmen protects our boarders
Republican Congresscritter Tom Tancredo, upon hearing that the Russian spies were planning to recruit their US-born children, calls for the expulsion of all immigrants and first-generation Americans as potential spies.
Ryan's job plan is shown to actually put 99% of the population (including EVERYONE at Fox news) out of work.
Business Leaders React to Obama's Mishandling of the Economy
With the capitalists having made good on their promise to "go Galt," a proper socialist economy begins to develop.
Jesus, not a True Christian?
TSA agents shoot a toddler for running around suspiciously at an airport.
Republican party celebrates the first female presidential candidate in history!
Research reveals the second amendment has a typo. It originally said "right to bare arms" in reference to government not requiring strict dress codes for the militias.
Patriots Hawk A Loogie For FreedomWell known Atheist continues indoctrination.
A second season of Firefly is announced.
Romney supports non-traditional families, which Obama still hasn't granted rights.
Chick Fil A people caught having gay sex.
War hero dies in combat due to lack of belief in Jesus.Russian people fight for the right to arm bears
Vladimir Putin goes hunting bears with his bare arms.
Muslim gets awarded for being a suicide bomber
Canada is richer then America again.
Romney does gods work
Humanity finally lands on mars and discovers accent buried technology unlocking the ability for us to travel using FTL drives. Soon we discover a large structure that can transport ships across millions of light-years and activate it we find many more and we come into contact with a bird like race that attack us,soon a small skirmish breaks out over a human colony and is disrupted by a mono gender race of aliens and we are inducted into the galactic community. (I will put who ever gets this real name into the next story I write as a main charichter.)
Mitt Romney interacts with DemocratsRomney does gods work
Humanity finally lands on mars and discovers accent buried technology unlocking the ability for us to travel using FTL drives. Soon we discover a large structure that can transport ships across millions of light-years and activate it we find many more and we come into contact with a bird like race that attack us,soon a small skirmish breaks out over a human colony and is disrupted by a mono gender race of aliens and we are inducted into the galactic community. (I will put who ever gets this real name into the next story I write as a main charichter.)
Canadians Using Satanic Powers To Predict The Future!
(it's the plot of Mass Effect)
Mitt Romney is photographed at a KKK rally.
The Lord Smites Washington For Its Sins!Buffett punished by God for anti Republican sentiments
Warren Buffett turns into a dragon for no adequately explored reason. His mind is unaffected, and he continues to run his business as normal.
Freedom fighter attacks island commies for lying about Obama being born there
Christian fundie group keeps tally marks of every time Obama has mentioned God or Jesus in speeches during his presidency, expresses outrage that the number is under 3,000
Ann Coulter Reaches Out To Fellow RepublicansObama Violates War Powers Act By Not Reporting to Congress
Barack Obama unleashes an army of angels against the Syrian government
Public Schools Brainwashing Kids into Liberalism
Pat Robertson follows his change of views on creationism by becoming a radical leftist.
The earth opens up and swallows Glenn Beck.
Tatu, one of the sign-language chimpanzees, expresses an interest in sharing with others.Socialism morally inferior. Adherents no better than monkeys.
A Zombie plague breaks out and Obama is quick to quell it and in a few weeks of the break out the plague is contained and all people infected cured.Obamageddon is here! Nazi Fascist purges loyal FOX watchers. TEA Party numbers in crisis!
Dumbo displays unamerican attitudes. Told to git back to Africa.
The Republican Committee to find a mew mascot goes with a freemason theme, only they replace the eye of providence with a security camera, the pyramid with a KKK hat, the compasses with assault weapons and the square with a chastity belt.
New research proves animals and animal lovers to be Godless liberals who are probably gay too
Enraged teabagger physically assaults someone and calls them various racial/homophobic slurs just for switching the channel from Fox News to ESPN (true story btw)
Liberal plant provoke traditional Christian man to lose his temper
Obama changes his skin color to white, changes his name to John Smith, and changes his party affiliation to GOP, but maintains all his previous policies
Obama is destroying traditional marriage
Patton Oswald stars in a movie where he plays a Christian man who goes through a life crisis and in the end abandons his faith for another (This is my life story just replace man with 7 year old boy)
Psy admits being a huge fan of Sean Hannity.
Intelligent, skilled, ambitious leader selected as GOP presidential candidate
Voldemort's VP candidates include Bellatrix Lestrange, Dolores Umbridge, and Sarah Palin
Our new savior arrives!
Previous president killed in accident towards end of term, fatal blow to the head from the latest Stephen King hardcover.
Hard-headed champions amaze medical community with skull size.
They also find advanced equine herpesvirus myeloencephalitis in all cases, and putrescent brains that smelt like rotting dick cheese!
The Amygdala: The Devil's Lobe
Rupert Murdoch announces that due to falling ratings, Fox News will be shut down.
Uh uh er...Benghazi!
Someone travels back in time from the future and reports that everything from the movie "Idiocracy" comes true
Jesus Pro 2nd Amendment!
2016 debates get the worst rating in the history of television. As a result, both party leadership decides to hold a gladiator type "debate" that makes British Parliament look like tea time with grandma.
Obama's new pit bull ticking time bomb waiting to happen
They Might Be Giants release a new children's album about history and it has a song dedicated to the history of gay rights.
Obama's new pit bull ticking time bomb waiting to happen
They Might Be Giants release a new children's album about history and it has a song dedicated to the history of gay rights.
Gay agenda forced on children.
Israel launches missiles at US, Fox headquarters hit.
A.I. planning something insidious
Studies show that violent video games prevent at least 100 mass murders a year by providing an outlet for mentally unstable players
God's Electrifying Endorsement of the Republican Party
Sentient dogs take over America, expand War on Drugs to include catnip.
Presidency no longer limited to liberal elitists
Boehner cries when new gun control laws are introduced, but doesn't cry for Sandy Hook victims
Time machine
MLK gets assassinated
RISE UP AGAINST THE OBAMA TYRANNY, BROTHERS!
Andy Schlafly Get A Show On Fox News.
Planned Parenthood Lowers Birthrate; Accomplishes Eugenicist Agenda
A lightning storm burns a giant Jesus statue to the ground; the porno shop across the street remains completely untouched.
Anti-Christian Teachings Spread!
Republicans in Congress go and see "Les Miz" en masse. They decide the first scene is just a dandy idea and introduce legislation making all prison inmates the legal property of the U.S. government or, in the case of private prisons, the company that runs the prison.
Secret election to be held in 2015!
Obama presents foolproof plan to save the world from an approaching asteroid the size of Alaska, House Republicans vow to do everything in their power to block his proposal
New president is a feminazi who will start a new war around the same time every month
Democrats run the first Asian presidential candidate in 2016
NY Times: Gang Warfare Southern Style. See Parody Macarena by Psy on video.
FOX: Yee-haw! Let the feuding commence... It is on bitches!
The NRA sees a massive drop in gun owners as they start being weeded out with a half life of two weeks in some counties. Funeral parlours haven't had it so good since the Spanish flu pandemic of 1918/1919.
Tim Tebow starts kneeling towards Mecca before his matches and becomes the best quarterback ever....[[[Ultimate proof in wrathful God of the OT: None of that Render unto Caesar liberal namby-pamby nonsense.]]]...
BLASPHEMOUS TEBOW TURNS BACK ON CHRISTIAN VALUES*
Darkseid breaks through to our universe, becomes avid Fox News viewer, kills Obama, Congress and the US military (who had all acted swiftly to counter the threat) and empowers the North Koreans to conquer and subjugate America as a colony.
*hey, this game is easy if you just ignore at least one crucial fact...
Who Is That Masked Hero?
Lex Luthor takes over the world. Immediately, unemployment and homelessness drop through the floor, a solid social safety net is implemented worldwide, and the deserts bloom with enough food to feed every starving person on the planet ten times over. Superman even applauds the results.
Teachers asking for more handouts from the government
New birther conspiracy theory arises alleging that Obama's father is Malcolm X
GOP Chooses Traditional-Values Candidate Who Saves Women
Said candidate is assassinated the day of his inauguration, leaving the ex-porn star in charge.
NRA starts movement to give homeless people guns instead of food and shelterOff topic slightly, but I love how the NRA turns how easy it is for the criminally insane and unhinged to get guns (due to their past lobbying amongst other things), into a selling point as to why everybody sane now needs a gun...
Bristol Palin visits high school to give pro-abstinence seminar and ends up letting a football player bend her over the desk in front of the whole classFuture Veep takes one for the team. Courageously demonstrates point with no regard for personal safety. Shows true leadership. Hypocritical liberal crybabies cry WTF, and hypocrisy.
Superstitious African Afraid of Flying. Says it's White Man's Magic.
Sufficient numbers of board of education are hijacked, and the gerrymander is blatant enough to stack the house, even with a severe minority, and this leads to eventually passing the war on science bills. No child left behind is replaced by, "Whole schools left behind." also more popularly known as the "Freedom to be Stupid" bill. (It's not like your kids were going to get decent jobs in the babble belt anyway.)
Proof That Satan Has Subverted American Churches!
Republicans put a Scientologist on their next presidential ticket.
Republicans proudly stick to values our nation was founded on
Ronald Reagan proven to have opposed the ownership of assault weapons (true story)
Murdoch says "Those fucking idiotsReal Americans believe everything I say"
New Christian rock group on Disney Channel takes Justin Bieber songs and replaces "Baby" with "Jesus"
Liberals plot to overthrow U.S. government, framing innocent conservatives
NRA conjures Dark Mark over the site of the next school massacre
Liberal baby disciplined!
[True story] Somebody manages to complete Ultra mode in Mushihimesa Futari Version 1.01 without using any continues.
Al-Qaeda threatens northern US!
Republican candidate officiates a gay marriage at an abortion clinic.
Heaven on Earth!
Catholic priests finally stop molesting children after consulting the Great Queen Spider (thanks South Park)
Muslim plans to establish Sharia Law!
An irony meter is discovered on the podium in the House of Representatives.
If not for liberals, the presence of the device for detecting their lies would never have been necessary, and Ryan would still be alive.
Nothing happens whatsoever.
Liberals Rig Books
Mike Huckabee is caught fapping to Applejack. >_>
Coulter writes thought provoking book.
Cutie Mark Crusaders get Cutie Marks in season four premier.
Greedy Jews bring traditional values back to America
Obama gives up his seat on the bus for a homeless person
Economy tanking! No more manufacturing jobs. Defense cuts killing America. Taxes still too high for wealth creators*. Need to toughen up on immigration. Social programs (mentioned above) ruining country.
*rent seeking thieves...
Not only has Chavez died, but a plague of locusts has invaded Israel...
http://cosmiclog.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/03/04/17185324-locust-swarm-of-biblical-proportions-strikes-egypt-israel-before-passover?lite
Economy tanking! No more manufacturing jobs. Defense cuts killing America. Taxes still too high for wealth creators*. Need to toughen up on immigration. Social programs (mentioned above) ruining country.
*rent seeking thieves...
Not only has Chavez died, but a plague of locusts has invaded Israel...
http://cosmiclog.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/03/04/17185324-locust-swarm-of-biblical-proportions-strikes-egypt-israel-before-passover?lite
Gaddafi's fall leads to the rise of locusts. Chavez's fall leads to.........TBD.
Republican congressmen express outrage in learning the Sequester resulted in illegal aliens being released from detention centers due to lack of funds to maintain beds in detention centers.
Has Latin America Gone Communist?
Your mom wears galoshes.
Job Creators Join Forces!
The new company is soon found to deliberately cut every corner on safety and sanitation that they can find, while employing illegal immigrants for a tenth of what they would pay legal workers, deliberately underemploying their legal employees and marking up prices to a 500% profit.
Freeloading communist moochers waging war on success.
The bird is the word.
Illegal Aliens Invade! Will They Swallow Your Soul?
Insider sources reveal that every Fox News meeting is closed with an orgy wherein nobody is allowed to pair up with the opposite gender.
Community organizers are at it again
Boulder, CO and Berkley, CA each become a separate nation with a thriving economy
Satan uses science to try to suppress the word of God again
Republicans propose shutting down all hospitals in America, calling them "socialist"
Babies hate America!
Obama personally stops Republicans from sacrificing live babies to Satan
Obama Disrespects Constitution
Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina is elected new Pope of the Roman Catholic Church.
New "disease" causes people to be averted to perversion
Bush is president during N. Korea nuclear saber-rattling (*shudder*)
American hero puts treasonous commie in his place
Justin Bieber revealed to have a vagina
American hero puts treasonous commie in his place
Justin Bieber revealed to have a vagina
Flimsy Liberal Lie (and more!) Exposed!
Justin Bieber starts crying, publically, about the difficulties of being a good Christian and Female-to-Male Transgender.
Liberals force dictatorship after accusing Bush of... stealing presidents??? You wouldn't believe these liberals...
Study shows that robots have souls and just want a friend.
KILL ALL HUMANS!
An extremely confused Amelia Earhart lands at Washington-Dulles.
Fox News Loves Children!
Obama declares that water is wet
FAPFAPFAPFAP
Miscarriages skyrocket as unborn babies accidentally shoot themselves. Thousands of mothers also shot by their own babies, and in one case, a baby murders the entire delivery room staff while being born.
Second Amendment FTW!
Republicans in Congress pass gun bill in a heartbeat when Obama agrees to add on a tax cut for the rich
Obama Corrupts America's Youth!
Neo-Nazis clash with Grammar Nazis.
Liberals Censor Republicans!
The US Constitution becomes self-aware, rejects Republican attempt to amend it.
Christ's Divinity Proven!
The Washington Monument turns purple.
Christ's Divinity Proven!
The Washington Monument turns purple.
Queers Vandalize Washington Monument
The 11th-century minaret of the Great Mosque of Aleppo in Aleppo, Syria, is destroyed during civil war fighting.
Who's a good puppy? Who's a good puppy?
President Obama declares that water is wet.
Republicans create economic growth
Somebody set us up the bomb.
Republicans create economic growth
Somebody set us up the bomb.
Democrats destroy education!
Our ability to warn of impending danger compromised.
We have a plague of rabies, then of babies, then of rabies babies.
75% of Americans hate America
Obama sorted into Gryffindor, Bush sorted into Slytherin
Proof that God takes christians to heaver sooner found.
Some guy breaks into Wayne LaPierre's house. Rather than shooting the guy Wayne begs the robber for mercy and even tells him the combination for the safe if he's left alive.
Support Our Pharoah Against This Socialist Menace!
(another from the historical files)
The Prophetess Devorah successfully leads an army into battle, defeating Israel's enemies.
Liberals Lead the Creation of Welfare Culture!
Er... Rocks fall, everyone dies?
Magic underwear is actually satan's underwear!
Elder Butt Fucking Naked from Book of Mormon shows up at Rupert Murdoch's doorstep
Animal Rights Activism: breeding ground for terrorists all along.
Obama adopts a stray cat.
Tea Party Offers Supportive Advice To Tornado Victims
Suicide bomber targets White House, leaving a manifesto saying he was motivated by information received from Fox News
President Obama once again wastes money on handouts that could be going towards tax cuts for the rich
The events of "Mars Attacks!" occur during Obama's presidency
Bush Supports The Alcohol Industry!
Upon further investigation, it turns out that Bush was drunk on French wine.
Evangelicals Stand Up For Family Values
Boy Scouts start allowing atheists to be members and leaders. Gays are still barred from leadership.
Dirty Dems finally admit their mistakes
Ironbite-Cause of death of Slayer guitarist attributed to listening to GOP speeches done by Sarah Palin
Defender of traditional family values goes back to Uranus. She will be missed.
Tornadoes strike only states that oppose gay marriage
Conservative Leaders Sustained By Divine Power!
Following President Rick Perry declaring that Christianity is America's official religion, the entire Jewish population of the US emigrates to Israel.
Famed Radio Host Gives Good Advice
A Fox News anchor suddenly loses their mask in the middle of a live broadcast, revealing a reptilian beneath.
Liberal Hippie Endorses Islam!
Republican candidate plans to ban healthcare entirely
Pervert Demands Special Rights!
The next Republican president claims special emergency powers to help deal with a terrorist threat. They never give up their powers and eventually declare themselves emperor.
See The Depths To Which American Entertainment Has Sunk
Michael Moore and Mel Gibson co-produce a Holocaust documentary.
Obama Passes Unconstitutional Gun-Control Law!
Vampires announce their existence and want to be friends. 99% of them vote Republican.
GOP wants to prevent men from being stuck with the same old boring routine
Death Eaters take over Ministry of Magic
Study Shows: 100% of Poor Living In Sin
Congress passes a law forbidding anyone from making a net of more than 1 million dollars a year. Any left over can either be taxed or donated to charity, as the individual chooses.
Study Shows: 100% of Poor Living In Sin
Congress passes a law forbidding anyone from making a net of more than 1 million dollars a year. Any left over can either be taxed or donated to charity, as the individual chooses.
Congress declares war on the rich in favor of lazy freeloaders. This is socialism of the highest order!
MSNBC and Fox News both report on the same thing at the same time and come to the same conclusions.
Proof That The Poor Deserve It!
Geneticists prove that making more than $1 million a year induces genetic mutations that have a 90% chance to make you less empathetic, more selfish and an all-around bad person, and increases the possibility of passing these mutations to your children to 99%.
Hannity: "You disagreed with me! You hate America! You're with the terrorists!" (see Family Guy)
Hundreds of conservatives cited saying "I hate America" after Obama's election
Hannity: "You disagreed with me! You hate America! You're with the terrorists!" (see Family Guy)
Hundreds of conservatives cited saying "I hate America" after Obama's election
Said conservatives are not true conservatives because true conservatives hate only the government, not America.
A shocking 3% of Planned Parenthood's services are performing abortions!
America Fuck Yeah! ( I finally get to use this!)
on June 25th all channels except fox news and a few other consertivite stations fly a rainbow banner in support of LGBT pride month
Jesus appalled by liberal bias in Bible translations.
Jesus publishes his own "Gospel of Jesus" which denounces the Bible and promotes secular humanism.
Foreign pagans corrupt Jesus' holy teachings.
Jesus elected president. He immediately forgives and pardons all prisoners in US.
Mere presence of true patriots scares away illegal aliens.
Internet Petition wants to rename USA to Jesusland.
Obama security plan fails to stop homegrown liberal terrorists.
Rupert Murdoch outsources all Fox News programs to Mexico and China
Christians always have each others' backs
Newt Gingrich claims that having affairs makes him Godly and patriotic (true story)
Mark Foley says he molested Congressional pages because of his love for America
Welfare Queens attack American Patriot
Dog craps on Glenn Beck's lawn.
Welfare Queens attack American Patriot
Dog craps on Glenn Beck's lawn.
Liberal Nazi canine disrespects the Constitutional Rights of American hero not to have lawn crapped on. It will be arrested.
Andrew Breitbart's ghost returns and admits that he was always just a showman.
Michelle Bachmann Teaches Vital Self-Defense Skills!
Michelle Bachmann's students bring their guns to school en masse and begin shooting everyone they don't think is Christian enough.
Government Sponsors Anti-Christian Hate Speech!
Fundamentalist's lawsuit challenging atheists' tax exemptions ends with tax exemptions for religious institutions being revoked. Supreme Court ruling states, "If church and state are separate, as in our nation, then churches must be treated equally with any other institution."
Disney running mates try to force plastic Pixar homosexual agenda on usThe Next President: Why You Should Freak Out (In a Good Way)!
Greatest Freakout Ever kid from Youtube runs for president as a Republican
Former Vice-President Admits Scaring At The Hands of Rabid Wellfare Queens.Time Machine: Does It Have A Liberal Bias?
Invention of time machine provides totally undeniable proof of evolution.
Time Machine: Does It Have A Liberal Bias?
Man Combines "Head Like A Hole" and "Call Me Maybe" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yArRnznVJwY)
Big Business To The Rescue Again!The GOP Smiles Through All Attacks and Allegations
It turns out that the GOP is directed not by God, but by a mysterious figure known only as "Mr. Smiley". He is notable only for his face bearing an uncanny resemblance to a smiley face.
Satan Corrupts America's Dreams!Republicans Vow To Bring Employment to 75%
The Republican nominee vows to bring unemployment up to 25%.
Everything I have known is a lie!Huuurrrglglgl gurrgrugglll guurrrrg. Bleh.
After learning this revelation the headline guy commits seppuku.
Archangel Michael Falls From Grace! Can Gabriel Be Next?Pat Robertson Traitor! Why We Never Trusted Him At 11
Pat Robertson responds by sprouting horns and claws, pulling a flaming pitchfork out of thin air and declaring in a deep, demonic rasp, "This world is mine, and God will not take it away!"
Atheists hold a birthday party for a disabled little girl out of their own pockets.This Is All Secular America's Fault!
SATAN HAS WON! GOD IS DEAD!
Atheists hold a birthday party for a disabled little girl out of their own pockets.This Is All Secular America's Fault!
SATAN HAS WON! GOD IS DEAD!
Fox accidentally broadcasts footage of their anchors molesting tons of children of both sexes, ranging from 0 - 13.
Proof That Liberals Hate Seniors!Fox Exposes Realities of Teenage Years
Fox News starts broadcasting a reality TV program wherein one random freshman-year class out of the country is selected and forced to fight each other to the death. There is no editing for violence or sexual content, and the program is billed as "educational TV."
Proof That Liberals Hate Seniors!Fox Exposes Realities of Teenage Years
Fox News starts broadcasting a reality TV program wherein one random freshman-year class out of the country is selected and forced to fight each other to the death. There is no editing for violence or sexual content, and the program is billed as "educational TV."
(to be fair, that's basically high school, but without the death, mostly, these days)
Fox starts dressing everyone on Fox in foxes.
Fox Appeals to Even More PeopleProof That Liberals Hate Seniors!Fox Exposes Realities of Teenage Years
Fox News starts broadcasting a reality TV program wherein one random freshman-year class out of the country is selected and forced to fight each other to the death. There is no editing for violence or sexual content, and the program is billed as "educational TV."
(to be fair, that's basically high school, but without the death, mostly, these days)
Fox starts dressing everyone on Fox in foxes.
Yo Dawg, We Heard You Like Foxes!
(part of appeal-to-youth strategy)
Fox-suited anchors discover they are now fap objects for furries.
Left-Wing Fanatics Attack Patriotic News Organization!Chinese Mothers At It Again
In light of a falling female population, polygamy becomes the norm in China, with one woman having several husbands.
Rape Us! Come On, We're Just Asking For It!We Have Always Been At War With The Economic Conservatives
The Republican Party finally collapses, dividing into social conservatives and economic conservatives.
Proof That Rock And Roll Causes Brain Degeneration And Bodily Harm!Christians Spread Message
Someone puts together a Christian rock band that manages to become a mainstream success by letting their faith influence their music without trying to grind everyone's noses in it.
Evil Satanic Kittens murder a entire good christan family.Anti-Military Group: Roboterrorists in Disguise?
Westboro Baptist Church become giant robots.
Satan Attacks Fox News!Terrorists From Another Dimension!
Scientists make contact with an alternate reality where the United States never existed. The closest equivalent is the powerful Cajun Federation, occupying much of the southern US. But to the shock and horror of many, the Cajuns speak French.
Illegal Aliens Invade America!Giant Robots Attempt Brainwashing
The Decepticons blow something up, and the Autobots take pains to explain the difference between the two groups.
Grimlock and the other Dinobots defeat the Decpticons and take Fox News for the Autobots and Grimlock becomes the new headline writer. (Grimlock rules by the way!)
Great fantasy books released!The American Military Wages War On Aliens
Military battles Decepticons alongside the Autobots in Egypt to save our planet.
Great fantasy books released!The American Military Wages War On Aliens
Military battles Decepticons alongside the Autobots in Egypt to save our planet.
The Autobots don't complain about America taking all the credit.
Liberals Teaching Children To Kill!You Don't Know The Power of THE DARK SIDE!
Rick Perry tries to take back America by Force-lightning everyone who registers to the left of Hitler.
Government Now Controlled By Traitors Who Murder Real Americans!Patriots Fight Commies!
A second civil war breaks out, started by militant Christians both in independent militias and within the military.
Commie Converts To The Right Side!Tea Party Uncertain
Tea Party members admit to not wanting him because he's black.
Satan tests true believer's faith.The Secret To A Long Life: Dick
Turns out Dick Cheney is a vampire who has turned most of the GOP politicans vampires as well.
Evil Liberals brainwash our crew.
Sentinel Prime attacks Washington with Megatron.
Evil Liberals brainwash our crew.
Sentinel Prime attacks Washington with Megatron.
Symbol of freedom corrupted by illegal alien to attack America!
All street signs become sentient, declare war on humanity.
Savage Liberal Monster Tries To Confuse Fox News!We're Not In Kansas Anymore
The "Big One" hits, and Kansas sinks into the sea, leaving many geologists going "WTF?"
Savage Liberal Monster Tries To Confuse Fox News!We're Not In Kansas Anymore
The "Big One" hits, and Kansas sinks into the sea, leaving many geologists going "WTF?"
Texas personally destroyed by God, who comes down from the heavens with a giant angel chorus to do so.
'Mercans Serving Satan!Savage Liberal Monster Tries To Confuse Fox News!We're Not In Kansas Anymore
The "Big One" hits, and Kansas sinks into the sea, leaving many geologists going "WTF?"
Texas personally destroyed by God, who comes down from the heavens with a giant angel chorus to do so.
God Attacks Godless America!
Demons take over CNN, voted more fair and balanced than Fox.
Proof That Alcohol is Evil!Jesus Wins Argument with Satan!
Jesus enters a few minutes later and sits down with Satan. They proceed to have a perfectly friendly conversation and agree to disagree about their many issues.
Good Christian Tries To Save Lost Souls!NEW BULLSHIT IN NEWS!!!!!! REPORT AT 11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Fox News team comes out and admits that every crisis they feel is important enough to put in capital letters and punctuate with exclamation marks is bullshit.
America slowly returning to Godly pre-civil war days.Fox News To Close
Glenn Beck "goes Galt" and takes what he considers to be "the brightest minds of America" with him(ie. all conservative pundits) to the mountains. Because the GOP no longer has anyone to spout their bullship their poll numbers go down and within a year USA has become a liberal utopia led by the Democrats and the Green Party.
Meanwhile Beck&Gang die of dysentry in the mountains, but that's not important.
Evil human rights activists infringe on YOUR rights to a prositute!Employer Does Shocking New Experiments
Shockwave experiments on one of the female anchors using a shock prod.
We're having a bit of technical problems, chaps!Mad Machine Makes Maniacal Mechanized Monstrosity
Shockwave forces the anchors into robotic suits FOR SCIENCE!
New Fox management has strong leadership style!Mississippi Outlaws Heterosexuality!
Mississippi passes a law making it a crime to be born with a vagina.
Doctor King Returns, Renounces His Old Views, Says Blacks Should Serve Whites
Fox News puts a fox in charge of headlines.
THE WRATH OF GOD IS UPON THE GAYS!Communazi Atheist Pagan Muslim Monsters Destroy Statue!!!!
Mecha-God is summarily smacked into the Statue of Liberty by one of the monsters.
Illegal alien harasses conservatives.
A Republican president eradicates all industrial regulations, minimum wage laws, environmental laws and trade unions. As a result, capitalism reverts to functioning as it did during the 19th century; with death-trap factories replete with dangerous machinery and chemicals, child labor, people working 18 hours a day 7 days a week 365 days a year for wages of $1 dollar a week, major cities so thick with pollution you can't see your hand in front of your face, hired thugs beating up strikers, meat stuffed with sawdust and dead rats, women having to have sex with their bosses as a term of employment, company towns and employers telling employees who they must vote for.
Satan launches demonic invasion!!!Televangelist Possessed By Satan!
Televangelist admits he's gay and can no longer oppose homosexuality.
Liberals Try To Poison Brilliant Conservative Commentator!!!!!!!!!!Fox News Gives Viewers What They Want
Fox News does a report on child pornography. Due to a technical error, they end up broadcasting 12 minutes of uncensored child porn right in the middle of their prime-time newscast, when children are most likely to see it.
Fox Defends Freedom of Speech!Organizations Ban Love!
Various child welfare organizations get the laws repealed.
Fox News cares for animals.Law Discrimination!
New mandatory drug tests for politicans put 90% of republicans to jail.
Taking the fight to theFox Takes Care of KidsJews Hippies BlacksLiberals!
Fox news anchors implicated in a child-kidnapping ring.
Scream, our minions! SCREAM!Nation Now More Biblical Than Ever
Christians take over the government, creating a dystopia.
Obama Reveals Plan To Take Over WorldEurope Declares War!
The International Criminal Court conducts a review of the trial of Jesus Christ, and finds that the Romans acted properly, and that Jesus was indeed guilty.
Liberals Attempt to- Ohh, Who's a Cute Little Kitty? That's Right, You Are! Goochie-Goochie-goo~!Obama Reveals Plan To Take Over WorldEurope Declares War!
The International Criminal Court conducts a review of the trial of Jesus Christ, and finds that the Romans acted properly, and that Jesus was indeed guilty.
Kittenpiles begin appearing at Fox.
Obama Behind Biological Attack!!!!!!!Rush Limbaugh Bravely Defends Nation, Neutralizes Twenty Suspected Terrorists
Rush Limbaugh farts at a barbecue; the fumes kill twenty.
Obama Behind Biological Attack!!!!!!!Rush Limbaugh Bravely Defends Nation, Neutralizes Twenty Suspected Terrorists
Rush Limbaugh farts at a barbecue; the fumes kill twenty.
A fourteen-year-old rape victim makes a video attacking the misogynistic, victim-blaming laws in her state and it goes viral.
(Too depressing?)
Liberal Trickster Assassinates American Icon
None attend Beck's funeral; grave listed as public restroom by state and local officials.
Terrorists Threaten American Way Of Life!!!!Liberal Zombie Apocalypse!! Thank Jeebus for Gun-Toting REAL AMERICANS!!!
Soldiers who were killed in the Iraq/Afghanistan wars Bush started begin rising from the grave and demanding the right to vote, swearing to vote for whoever promises to end the wars.
Homosexuals Use Witchcraft To Corrupt Righteous American Heroes!Republicans Have Good Sense Of Humor
At a charity fundraiser event, George W. Bush and Al Gore perform a mock debate, with each one playing a parody of the other.
Bold Conservative Commentator Casts Out Demons!!!!!Demon-Possessed Witches Humiliate Prominent Fox News Host
Lordi turn out to be polite, well-spoken, intelligent and able to debate circles around O'Reilly.
Santorum Caught With Pants DownBold Conservative Commentator Casts Out Demons!!!!!Demon-Possessed Witches Humiliate Prominent Fox News Host
Lordi turn out to be polite, well-spoken, intelligent and able to debate circles around O'Reilly.
Rick Santorum finds that picture somebody made a while back of his portrait as a gay porn mosaic, gets caught fapping with it.
God orgasms all over Fox News, covering it in God-sperm.
Liberal Media Tries To Abort News Baby!God orgasms all over Fox News, covering it in God-sperm.
God shows His Love for Fox News!
The sperm fertilizes Fox News, creating some kind of news-fetus.
GOP: "Tax Cuts Guaranteed To Make Everyone Rich!"
Dick Cheney comes out and admits that he is responsible for 9/11, having been financing and pulling Bin Laden's strings the whole time. The raid to kill Bin Laden was to keep him from talking once he'd outlived his usefulness as a boogeyman.
Republicans Really ARE The Best At Eating Pussy!Republicans Prevent Children From Suffering In The World
Republicans are shown to be required to eat their own baby alive in order to join.
Republicans Really ARE The Best At Eating Pussy!Republicans Prevent Children From Suffering In The World
Republicans are shown to be required to eat their own baby alive in order to join.
Republicans are shown to have to eat their own parents alive to join.
GOP gives food to the homeless.GOP Member destroys vandalized holy book.
GOP member caught burning a Bible.
GOP Invests In New Technology!
GLaDOS floods the Republican National Convention with a deadly neurotoxin.
All Hail Our Machine Overlady!
After the "gay gene" is discovered, Republicans attempt to pass a law requiring all pregnancies of fetuses carrying that gene be aborted.
Liberal mind control scheme causes conservative deaths.
Michell Obama suggests that children should breathe oxygen.
The communist take over America we're all fucked!
The Communist party not only fixes the economy they also legalize gay marriage in all 50 states, Legalize Pot and other recreational drugs , implement a health care system to rival Switzerlands and revamps the U.S education system and raises the pay of teachers.
Senate candidate has strong military background!
Senator Megatron announces he is running for President. Democrats object that he was not born in the United States.
Strong Leadership For America
Vice President Starscream launches a coup in the middle of Megatron's inaugural speech. Optimus Prime is quoted as saying he "totally saw that one coming".
Alien Robots Take Over America!
Bowser kidnaps Princess Peach.
Why Did The Chicken Lie?Democrats Planning to Bring About Cyborg Apocalypse
Scientists invent working cybernetic limbs.
GOP holds fast to family values!Dick Gaylord forced into sex by a depraved sodomite!
Dick Gaylord is inevitably found having sex with a rent boy who is not his wife.
THE BEAST HAS RISEN THE BEAST HAS RISEN
The FNHW becomes sentient.
"My God...What Have I Done?"
God drops a meteor on Westboro Baptist Church. Attached is a note saying, "Gays deserve equal rights. Sincerely, God"
Emperor Comes From A Loving Family
The Fox News Headline Writer's boss calls him into the office.
Everyone everywhere gets equal rights.
Heroic Wildlife finishes off ravening marauder, leading to a glorious celebration.
After a clerical error in the office, a sloth becomes the new Bill O'Reilly.
By this point, Palin is a laughingstock to even Faux.Heroic Wildlife finishes off ravening marauder, leading to a glorious celebration.
Wait, I thought Fox News loved Palin?QuoteAfter a clerical error in the office, a sloth becomes the new Bill O'Reilly.
Liberal Idiots lose debate to animal stand-in for Bill O'Reilly.
G-d blesses Fox News! All other news outlets are obviously wrong!
A Concrete Donkey falls onto Rupert Murdoch
What Is The Doctor Hiding?
Al-Qaeda kidnaps Sasha Obama. President Obama vows to pursue her captors, but Congress bars him from doing anything.
Another Example of Liberal Bias in New Video Game StudiesBiased College Attempts to Shut Down Debate
A stunning new announcement from one of those big colleges in California: Some form of concrete proof of evolution, in such a fashion that no one who sees it can argue against it.
[[Apologies if this has been done before.]]
Does Science Harbor A Liberal Bias?
FOX news anchors get IQ tests live in the studio, results are insultingly low.
We Swear, We're Not Liberals!Where's the birth certificate, Fido?
In the next presidential election, both major parties' candidates lose to an 8-week-old pug puppy.
We Swear, We're Not Liberals!Where's the birth certificate, Fido?
In the next presidential election, both major parties' candidates lose to an 8-week-old pug puppy.
Godzilla goes on a rampage in Jacksonville, Florida.
Literal Pork Spending by Liberal Welfare Queens!Is Obama drugging hard cider?
Hard apple cider becomes cheaper and more popular than beer.
LESBIAN WHORE TRAITOR WHARRRGARBBL!
Theodore Roosevelt wins the 1912 election on the Progressive ticket.
War on Christmas suffers a crushing defeat!
The US military deploys troops riding goddamn dinosaurs against ISIS. Obama personally commands the final assault against al-Baghdadi, who is eaten by Obama's T-Rex.
A special report on Hannity tonight - the Grand Deception of Stephen Colbert
A charming Southern man named "Randall Flagg" is elected after a tragic incident befalls Louie Gohmert that Randall CERTAINLY had nothing to do with.
Socialism Infecting Our Sports Culture!
America begins a war of aggression and is soundly defeated by an alliance consisting of approximately everyone else.
Hospital target of boycott for exercising religious liberties.
Ted Cruz comes out of the closet.
Donald Trump: RINO Revealed
President Trump declares that he will permanently revoke the voting rights of everyone who voted for Bernie Sanders.
Donald Trump: RINO Revealed
President Trump declares that he will permanently revoke the voting rights of everyone who voted for Bernie Sanders.
trump gives fair-handed treatment to liberals.
a new sport is born by putting a sheep in a hamster wheel and kicking it into baby strollers (preferably full).