I'd participate, but I can't do a Somali accent to save my life.
Ye be thinkin' of but one kind o' pirate, matey. There be all sorts in the history books, arrr.
Sadly, I couldn't be teachin' in piratical style today, lads, for this be a sacred day in the annals of the FSM, and the landlubbers say we can't endorse religion.