Author Topic: "Photographic evidence" of the Loch Ness monster  (Read 5750 times)

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shykid

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"Photographic evidence" of the Loch Ness monster
« on: August 17, 2012, 08:13:51 pm »
I bring you this headline from the bastion of journalistic excellence that is The Telegraph: "Has the Loch Ness monster finally been caught on camera?"

This seriously snarks itself, but here goes nothing. Okay, so apparently this is the Loch Ness monster:



Or at least what the photographer humbly calls the "best picture ever" of the Loch Ness monster. I'm not even joking:

Quote
A monster hunter who has spent 26 years searching for the Loch Ness Monster claims to have taken the "best picture ever" of the beast, after dedicating 60 hours a week to his quest.

It looks like some trash or a dead fish or something to me. I don't understand why this even qualifies as "weird news" unless the "news" is that this guy is actually nuts enough to think that's seriously the Loch Ness monster (much less the "best picture ever" of it). Hell, even that's hardly news for a guy batty enough to have spent 60 hours a week for the past 26 years obsessively hunting Nessie.

Yet this is the best "evidence" he could come up with, and his ship is even equipped with sonar:

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Mr Edwards his vessel's sonar to make a contact but to no avail. "I hung around for a good half-an-hour and used the deep scanning sonar to try and pick it up, but I'm afraid I had no luck at all."

Mr Edwards took the photo at 9am on 2nd November last year on a compact Samsung digital camera that he always keeps on the boat.

Before releasing it publicly he sent it to the USA for analysis, though he can't reveal further details.

Well, here's some analysis from the USA: I think you're crazy, an attention whore, or both.

...and you "can't reveal further details," eh? How convenient.

Quote
"I did not want to mention my sighting until I was sure that I had not photographed a log or something inanimate in the water in the water," he said.

lol, just lol.

I'm skeptical about the Loch Ness monster to say the least, but in fairness, it is certainly the most plausible cryptid I've read about at least. However, that's not exactly saying much, since virtually all of its competition in the "plausibility" department is ridiculous woo-woo like Six-Eyed, One-Winged, Goat-Sucking Demon-Cat-Reptiles from Jupiter. Things like that make Nessie sound downright boring and normal in comparison, really.

Offline The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist

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Re: "Photographic evidence" of the Loch Ness monster
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2012, 10:06:28 pm »
Fools. That's clearly Bigfoot.
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Offline Witchyjoshy

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Re: "Photographic evidence" of the Loch Ness monster
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2012, 10:35:01 pm »
Looks like a capsized boat
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Offline nickiknack

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Re: "Photographic evidence" of the Loch Ness monster
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2012, 10:55:43 pm »
They're not even trying anymore...

Offline RavynousHunter

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Re: "Photographic evidence" of the Loch Ness monster
« Reply #4 on: August 18, 2012, 12:10:08 am »
They're not even trying anymore...

They were trying to begin with?
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Offline Askold

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Re: "Photographic evidence" of the Loch Ness monster
« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2012, 07:40:08 am »
I saw the same story in a Finnish newspaper.

Although that version had poor translation, misunderstanding or some additional research because it specifically said that the photo had been verified by the monster experts of the US military.

Which seemed a bit odd because if that was true then you would think that the headline would be:

"This just in: Loch Ness monster found, also HOLY SHIT! US military has 'monster experts'!"
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shykid

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Re: "Photographic evidence" of the Loch Ness monster
« Reply #6 on: August 18, 2012, 04:33:05 pm »
I saw the same story in a Finnish newspaper.

Although that version had poor translation, misunderstanding or some additional research because it specifically said that the photo had been verified by the monster experts of the US military.

Which seemed a bit odd because if that was true then you would think that the headline would be:

"This just in: Loch Ness monster found, also HOLY SHIT! US military has 'monster experts'!"

...monster experts? Wait, we have those?

If that were actually true, the US military just got either 3 times cooler or 3 times stupider, I can't decide.

Offline Witchyjoshy

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Re: "Photographic evidence" of the Loch Ness monster
« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2012, 04:58:47 pm »
I saw the same story in a Finnish newspaper.

Although that version had poor translation, misunderstanding or some additional research because it specifically said that the photo had been verified by the monster experts of the US military.

Which seemed a bit odd because if that was true then you would think that the headline would be:

"This just in: Loch Ness monster found, also HOLY SHIT! US military has 'monster experts'!"

...monster experts? Wait, we have those?

If that were actually true, the US military just got either 3 times cooler or 3 times stupider, I can't decide.

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Offline The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist

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Re: "Photographic evidence" of the Loch Ness monster
« Reply #8 on: August 18, 2012, 10:26:13 pm »
No, definitely 3x stupider.
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Offline DarkfireTaimatsu

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Re: "Photographic evidence" of the Loch Ness monster
« Reply #9 on: August 18, 2012, 10:36:06 pm »
A limerick:

There once was a unicorn who would shove
His rainbows around like a dove
"Always I'll be with you
And then make-believe with you
Harmony, Harmony, oh love"

Offline VirtualStranger

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shykid

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Re: "Photographic evidence" of the Loch Ness monster
« Reply #11 on: August 21, 2012, 08:35:50 am »
lmfao, VS. +1 for you, good sir.

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Re: "Photographic evidence" of the Loch Ness monster
« Reply #12 on: August 21, 2012, 08:47:09 am »
No, definitely 3x stupider.
That's what you say now but how will you feel when a Sasquatch tries to eat your family? I bet you'll be glad that US military spent millions of dollars in anti-sasquatch weapons and tactics.
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Offline RinellaWasHere

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Re: "Photographic evidence" of the Loch Ness monster
« Reply #13 on: August 21, 2012, 03:52:17 pm »
When I was little I always wanted the Loch Ness Monster and other cryptids to exist, just because it would be so fucking cool if they did.
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Offline Jack Bauer

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Re: "Photographic evidence" of the Loch Ness monster
« Reply #14 on: September 14, 2012, 08:36:47 pm »
It is clearly a giant TURD - and the only thing large enough to produce such an enormous Brown Wobbler is the Loch Ness monster. Proof positive!
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