Author Topic: The chain of intercourse/slut shaming  (Read 11422 times)

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wrightway

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The chain of intercourse/slut shaming
« on: August 04, 2013, 06:01:10 pm »
Where did this whole "If you sleep with them you're sleeping with everyone they've slept with" thing come from? I had a relative tell me I should be diseased because my ex has quite a few other exes. She brought up the argument and said I might as well have slept with hundreds or even thousands of people. Because condoms aren't a thing. Because there's never interdating among a group. I tried to explain these things and just got a mildly irritating speech on abstinence being the only answer. And a much more irritating diatribe on morality never changing. She said my flow chart that shows interdating among his group just proved her point.

Offline Sleepy

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Re: The chain of intercourse/slut shaming
« Reply #1 on: August 04, 2013, 06:10:31 pm »
I have no idea when the phrase actually appeared, but I'm guessing it was during a time where condoms were less frequently used and STDs were running wild. If you're not using protection and you have sex with people who also never used protection, then yeah, you could be sleeping with everyone that person ever slept with, in the sense that you could contract all sorts of lovely diseases that have been passed down the chain. But I'd like to think most people are smarter than that. Of course, there are STDs that are asymptomatic, so people could pass the disease on unknowingly, as well.
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Offline Old Viking

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Re: The chain of intercourse/slut shaming
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2013, 07:02:13 pm »
Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.
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Re: The chain of intercourse/slut shaming
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2013, 08:41:47 pm »
I have no idea when the phrase actually appeared, but I'm guessing it was during a time where condoms were less frequently used and STDs were running wild. If you're not using protection and you have sex with people who also never used protection, then yeah, you could be sleeping with everyone that person ever slept with, in the sense that you could contract all sorts of lovely diseases that have been passed down the chain. But I'd like to think most people are smarter than that. Of course, there are STDs that are asymptomatic, so people could pass the disease on unknowingly, as well.

Sleepy said it but I was gonna be an ass and suggest something like 'six degrees of Kevin Bacon' or 'the Our Chart (it's an L Word reference how long has it been since I've used an L Word reference?)'.

I do know that I've been seeing commercials recently that are insisting people wear condoms even if their STD/STI symptoms aren't showing. As Sleepy said, asymptomatic does not mean you're cured or you can't give the disease to someone else.

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wrightway

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Re: The chain of intercourse/slut shaming
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2013, 08:52:24 pm »
I'm guessing I framed it poorly. I'm mainly wondering why these people think sex outside of marriage automatically makes you a diseased slut.

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Re: The chain of intercourse/slut shaming
« Reply #5 on: August 04, 2013, 09:32:08 pm »
I'm guessing I framed it poorly. I'm mainly wondering why these people think sex outside of marriage automatically makes you a diseased slut.

Hold on...

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Re: The chain of intercourse/slut shaming
« Reply #6 on: August 04, 2013, 09:32:56 pm »
Where did this whole "If you sleep with them you're sleeping with everyone they've slept with" thing come from?
I'm guessing I framed it poorly. I'm mainly wondering why these people think sex outside of marriage automatically makes you a diseased slut.
People trying to push abstinence only BS. It is the warping of calculated risk percentages when engaging in safer sex. Disingenuous scum try to assign fear to an act of sex be encouraging mutual distrust among partners. It always boils down to “How much do you really know about your partner and his/her partner(s)?” I have seen this being pushed in high schools.

The effectiveness of a condom remains the same regardless of previous partners. Only improper usage causes a lack of effectiveness. They should be demonstrating how to use condoms properly instead of fear mongering.

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Offline chitoryu12

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Re: The chain of intercourse/slut shaming
« Reply #7 on: August 04, 2013, 09:33:42 pm »
I have no idea when the phrase actually appeared, but I'm guessing it was during a time where condoms were less frequently used and STDs were running wild. If you're not using protection and you have sex with people who also never used protection, then yeah, you could be sleeping with everyone that person ever slept with, in the sense that you could contract all sorts of lovely diseases that have been passed down the chain. But I'd like to think most people are smarter than that. Of course, there are STDs that are asymptomatic, so people could pass the disease on unknowingly, as well.

Sleepy said it but I was gonna be an ass and suggest something like 'six degrees of Kevin Bacon' or 'the Our Chart (it's an L Word reference how long has it been since I've used an L Word reference?)'.

I do know that I've been seeing commercials recently that are insisting people wear condoms even if their STD/STI symptoms aren't showing. As Sleepy said, asymptomatic does not mean you're cured or you can't give the disease to someone else.

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Re: The chain of intercourse/slut shaming
« Reply #8 on: August 04, 2013, 10:46:36 pm »
I have no idea when the phrase actually appeared, but I'm guessing it was during a time where condoms were less frequently used and STDs were running wild. If you're not using protection and you have sex with people who also never used protection, then yeah, you could be sleeping with everyone that person ever slept with, in the sense that you could contract all sorts of lovely diseases that have been passed down the chain. But I'd like to think most people are smarter than that. Of course, there are STDs that are asymptomatic, so people could pass the disease on unknowingly, as well.
I know it goes back at least as far as the beginning of the AIDS epidemic because I remember hearing that line in my sex ed. classes which just happened to coincide with people starting to get really worried about the disease and the fact that if you got it, you died. Period.

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Re: The chain of intercourse/slut shaming
« Reply #9 on: August 04, 2013, 11:03:40 pm »
Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder go yonder.

Fix'd that for ya.
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Offline Sleepy

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Re: The chain of intercourse/slut shaming
« Reply #10 on: August 05, 2013, 09:07:55 am »
I'm guessing I framed it poorly. I'm mainly wondering why these people think sex outside of marriage automatically makes you a diseased slut.

I guess it's the whole "back in my day" thing, where women were much more stigmatized if they were caught screwing around unwed. I'm not sure if women back then were more frequently told that premarital sex was wrong, or that it would lead to disease, or a combination of the two. But people will always find ways to push abstinence, despite the utter bullshit that it is.
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Re: The chain of intercourse/slut shaming
« Reply #11 on: August 05, 2013, 09:35:38 am »
I'm guessing I framed it poorly. I'm mainly wondering why these people think sex outside of marriage automatically makes you a diseased slut.

I guess it's the whole "back in my day" thing, where women were much more stigmatized if they were caught screwing around unwed. I'm not sure if women back then were more frequently told that premarital sex was wrong, or that it would lead to disease, or a combination of the two. But people will always find ways to push abstinence, despite the utter bullshit that it is.
"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" - Red Foreman.

And, judging by the comments of way too many guys I've talked to in LA, a woman who sleeps around as much as a guy is a diseased slut, and sleeping with her will "make your dick fall off". It has something to do with wanting the woman to be "pure" or some such nonsense, and generally come from guys that, in my experience, refer to almost every woman they come across as a 'bitch' or a 'slut'.

Fun fact: this mindset is why I don't generally hang out with other guys.
« Last Edit: August 05, 2013, 09:38:35 am by Her3tiK »
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Re: The chain of intercourse/slut shaming
« Reply #12 on: August 05, 2013, 11:27:14 am »
...and a much more irritating diatribe on morality never changing.

So that must be why it is still considered acceptable to beat your wife.

[Sarcasm - in case anyone's meter is broken.]

Offline mellenORL

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Re: The chain of intercourse/slut shaming
« Reply #13 on: August 05, 2013, 12:23:30 pm »
How to respond to a fundie slut shamer;

"Do you realize that when you eat with a fork in a restaurant, that you are sticking a thing in your mouth that has been in THOUSANDS of other mouths before yours?"

That's my answer. Deny it.   :P
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wrightway

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Re: The chain of intercourse/slut shaming
« Reply #14 on: August 05, 2013, 12:49:06 pm »
I figured there wasn't too much secular reasoning behind it.