Author Topic: G4 is dead, long live the Esquire Channel! Wait wut.  (Read 4224 times)

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Offline The Illusive Man

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G4 is dead, long live the Esquire Channel! Wait wut.
« on: December 09, 2012, 10:27:30 pm »


To the surprise of absolutely positively no one who has ever watched what was broadcasted on that channel. To spare those who have never been exposed to G4 here is a short list as to how and why the channel died

Content: aka how much content actually pertained to games and gaming culture?
  • How many hours per day did they show reruns of Cops?
  • How many hours per day did they show reruns of Ninja Warrior? Catering to weeabos, what are you Kotaku?
  • How many hours per day did they show reruns of Banzai..lol canceled.
  • How many hours per day did they show reruns of Cheaters?
  • How many hours per day did they show blatant advertisement?
  • The merging, ruination of and canceling of TechTV, Code Monkeys, Screensavers, Icons, Call for Help.
  • Their inability to cover E3 without interruption, E3 itself going downhill did not help.
  • Gamespot type “game reviews.”


Hosts: And remember folks, there are no female gamers so bring out the cheesecake!


Technology: “Content I want when I want it!”
How much of their target audience preferred other media sources? Especially the internet!

Pro tip you can block out advertisements on the internet. And remember Privoxy is free, multiplatform, multi browser and lets you create your own blocking rules! Learning curve is a biatch though.


Fret not, G4 is replaced with something.


Quote
The move, which will look to court metrosexual viewers that History and Spike ignore, will include programming focused on gaming and lifestyle.

In its bid for the largely untapped metrosexual viewership, NBCUniversal is set to rebrand G4 channel as the Esquire channel.

Sources tell The Hollywood Reporter that the NBCUniversal-owned cable network has closed a deal with Esquire parent Hearst Corporation to shift the former gaming network to a destination more in line with the modern male. The effort is designed to capture a growing, upscale demographic that isn't being reached through other male networks, including adrenaline-heavy Spike and History.

AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA *gasp* AHAHAAAA!! Enjoy polishing that turd. But wait, I wonder what content will be covered by the qualifier of metrosexual?

Quote
Some of the new programming -- which will focus on such genres as cooking, travel and fashion -- already is in production as the rebrand is expected to take place during the first half of 2013, according to sources. True to the decade-old network's heritage, there will be gaming fare as well.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FopyRHHlt3M" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FopyRHHlt3M</a>
Despite knowing about indoctrination I thought it was a good idea to put a human Reaper near my office. Now I am a sentient husk :(.

*RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR* *SCREECH* *smokes*


Offline nickiknack

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Re: G4 is dead, long live the Esquire Channel! Wait wut.
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2012, 10:35:11 pm »
Code Monkeys was the only good thing on G4.

Offline syaoranvee

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Re: G4 is dead, long live the Esquire Channel! Wait wut.
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2012, 10:35:36 pm »
I remember years ago watching Cinematech and Anime Unleashed everytime it came on.

Offline RavynousHunter

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Re: G4 is dead, long live the Esquire Channel! Wait wut.
« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2012, 11:01:11 pm »
Yeaaaaaaaah...the moment G4 decided to air "Cheaters," it fuckin died, if not before then.  I'm seriously curious as to how many women the dickhead who hosts that show has sexually assaulted, because he's got that creepy fuck vibe goin reaaaaal strong.
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Offline Meshakhad

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Re: G4 is dead, long live the Esquire Channel! Wait wut.
« Reply #4 on: December 10, 2012, 01:40:45 am »
I never watched the channel, although I used to follow their newsfeed for gaming news. And I regularly watched the MMO Report.
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Offline niam2023

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Re: G4 is dead, long live the Esquire Channel! Wait wut.
« Reply #5 on: December 10, 2012, 07:14:07 pm »
I'm trying to reach a metrosexual appearance, and I think I might enjoy some of the fashion shows, or if it offers tips in achieving my ideal "Bateman" appearance, any show in that type.

I do admit I am a little confused why people might be irate over this.

I think I might like the new Esquire channel. It definitely pertains to my interests.



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Offline Dakota Bob

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Re: G4 is dead, long live the Esquire Channel! Wait wut.
« Reply #6 on: December 10, 2012, 07:44:52 pm »
Am I a bad person for enjoying Ninja Warrior?

Offline Witchyjoshy

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Re: G4 is dead, long live the Esquire Channel! Wait wut.
« Reply #7 on: December 10, 2012, 08:27:39 pm »
Am I a bad person for enjoying Ninja Warrior?

Certainly a lot better than the amusing-then-gets-old Wipe-Out knock-off.
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Offline Saturn500

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Re: G4 is dead, long live the Esquire Channel! Wait wut.
« Reply #8 on: December 10, 2012, 09:26:39 pm »
Am I a bad person for enjoying Ninja Warrior?

Certainly a lot better than the amusing-then-gets-old Wipe-Out knock-off.

^This


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Offline lazerfrog

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Re: G4 is dead, long live the Esquire Channel! Wait wut.
« Reply #9 on: December 10, 2012, 11:08:15 pm »
I can't say I feel sorry for them.  The last time I watched G4 was when it was nothing but a block of Cheaters, a block of Cops, an episode of Xplay and infomercials, and that was years ago.

Offline SpaceProg

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Re: G4 is dead, long live the Esquire Channel! Wait wut.
« Reply #10 on: December 10, 2012, 11:37:55 pm »
Yeah.  Our DirecTV took G4 off, and I didn't even notice it until I was told by a friend.  The only thing I ever watched on it was X-Play.

Offline Whore of Spamylon

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Re: G4 is dead, long live the Esquire Channel! Wait wut.
« Reply #11 on: December 12, 2012, 10:12:10 pm »




    Even if you took away Webb's sex appeal, I feel that she is still worth her salt.

    Now, Olivia Munn, on the other hand...


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    Offline The Illusive Man

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    Re: G4 is dead, long live the Esquire Channel! Wait wut.
    « Reply #12 on: December 12, 2012, 10:33:52 pm »




      Even if you took away Webb's sex appeal, I feel that she is still worth her salt.

      Now, Olivia Munn, on the other hand...

      I don't know what is more hilarious / sad about this whole situation. The fact that she was hired to be cheesecake or G4 as a means of measuring someone's worth.[/list]
      Despite knowing about indoctrination I thought it was a good idea to put a human Reaper near my office. Now I am a sentient husk :(.

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      Offline Whore of Spamylon

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      Re: G4 is dead, long live the Esquire Channel! Wait wut.
      « Reply #13 on: December 12, 2012, 10:48:28 pm »
      I don't know if there is a consensus as to when G4TV started its decline, but I remember seeing a commercial for the following show, and I knew instantly that the channel was going to become the MTV of videogame channels.

      <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRsyA2X_LbA" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRsyA2X_LbA</a>



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      Offline Cloud3514

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      Re: G4 is dead, long live the Esquire Channel! Wait wut.
      « Reply #14 on: December 12, 2012, 11:00:24 pm »
      I don't know if there is a consensus as to when G4TV started its decline, but I remember seeing a commercial for the following show, and I knew instantly that the channel was going to become the MTV of videogame channels.

      <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRsyA2X_LbA" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRsyA2X_LbA</a>



      Its saying something when I can't find anything on YouTube about a often forgotten show called The Whip Set, which was an urban themed rip off of Top Gear and the first show to air on G4 and Tech TV that wasn't about games, electronics or nerd culture, but yeah, The Whip Set was the first sign of what would ultimately happen.
      Who needs a signature?