FSTDT Forums
Community => Religion and Philosophy => Topic started by: Jack Mann on January 04, 2012, 03:11:01 am
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The drive to bring threads over continues! And I thought this one had a lot of potential.
When I was growing up, I had a dog with polychromatic eyes. Or rather, he had one polychromatic eye. One was pure blue, while the other had the upper half brown, the lower half blue. Some of my neighbors believed that he was possessed by the devil. They never did anything to him, thankfully, but they sure as hell left our house alone.
Of course, the fact that he was a pretty large dog didn't hurt.
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If I remember correctly, heterochromia was actually considered to be evidence of demonic possession or an otherwise inherent evil in a person. I always thought it was interesting.
As far as my own real life fundy story, I mostly just have the school I use and my grandmother, if you want overt religiousness.
My grandmother is, as I have learned over the past month or so, the type to burn a book because it was about a lesbian. And to force members of our family to attend 'revelation houses', which are essentially Hell Houses but not at Halloween.
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I don't know any IRL fundies per se but my conspiracy theorist dad could probably fill the mainpage for a few months.
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When I was growing up, I had a dog with polychromatic eyes. Or rather, he had one polychromatic eye. One was pure blue, while the other had the upper half brown, the lower half blue. Some of my neighbors believed that he was possessed by the devil. They never did anything to him, thankfully, but they sure as hell left our house alone.
Of course, the fact that he was a pretty large dog didn't hurt.
Was the dog a Husky or other breed where heterochromia is particularly common? If so your neighbors get bonus points for canine ignorance.
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When I was growing up, I had a dog with polychromatic eyes. Or rather, he had one polychromatic eye. One was pure blue, while the other had the upper half brown, the lower half blue. Some of my neighbors believed that he was possessed by the devil. They never did anything to him, thankfully, but they sure as hell left our house alone.
Of course, the fact that he was a pretty large dog didn't hurt.
Was the dog a Husky or other breed where heterochromia is particularly common? If so your neighbors get bonus points for canine ignorance.
Dogs with heterochromia are cute. I love huskies. *glomps a husky*
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From the old board.
I remember being at a friends house 3 years ago. Well one of their friends were a devout religious family. They seemed like nice people, but damn their views were out of this world.
-When we were playing Apples to Apples, one of the words that came up was freedom. I think we were supposed to use it in a positive light or something (I don't remember the game much) so one of the kids jokingly said "Yeah like the freedom for gays to marry" as if it was a bad thing!!
-These same people also said that the only reason Obama got in was because he was black. And since they were strict anti abortion people, they couldn't think of anything other than abortion to justify their vote. So to them, "the cries of the unborn" were on our hands since we voted Obama in. Because 8 years of a "prolife" president made such a difference (not to mention the tens of thousands of people killed in Iraq). Prolife my ass!
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But that's WHY we should be pro-life, so we can raise an army to bring democracy to the world! /fundiethink
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But that's WHY we should be pro-life, so we can raise an army to bring democracy to the world! /fundiethink
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhXrJHXS9Zo
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Was the dog a Husky or other breed where heterochromia is particularly common? If so your neighbors get bonus points for canine ignorance.
He was more husky than anything else, but to be fair, we didn't realize it for the longest time either. He had yellow-orange fur and ears like a lab. Like most mutts in my experience, he was an awesome dog.
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Mutt with husky blood. Cool. Wouldn’t expect your neighbors to recognize that.
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I just remembered another one. This was from a speaker at a really wierd Catholic church youth group I attended as a teen. The topic was on abortion and man was it wierd. First we saw some extremely depressing, High Octane Nightmare Fueled videos on the regrets women had when they aborted their babies. Then we listened to this guy talk. He actually claimed that abortion was worse than slavery because with slavery you can just run away. As if I wasn't emotionally drained as it was, we were forced to put those crosses in the ground and say some wierd prayers. It was very cultlike and scary, like nothing I had done the church I actually attended. I still get freaked out thinking about it, but that quote from that speaker sealed the deal.
I never returned after that mess.
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Uh, yeah. I was raised Catholic, and I can tell you that that is weird. Never had anything remotely like that. Ever.
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A bizzare fundie experience from about 8 or 9 years ago.
I'm sitting in a sidewalk cafe, with my coffee and my mediterranian grilled cheese. Just playing random blues rifs on my guitar. Wishing some fine sweet woman would claim the empty seat across from me.
Instead some guy who smells a bit like old urine jumps into the chair, and helps himself to half my sandwich, and announces that he can play guitar with his feet.
Said guy then procedes to demand that I hand him my $650.00 Godan smallbody so he can bless it.
I asked him politely if he was going to pay for the half of my sandwich he took, and he replys by asking me if a woman made the sandwich.
I reply that ALL the employees at the cafe are women, and ask him again if he is planning to pay for half my sandwich.
He throws the sandwich on the ground, stomps on it, and howls some jibberish about "Satan".
Then he starts raving at me that women "ALL women" are working for Satan. He tells me that any attractive woman will offer me sex, but will demand my "soul" as the price for sex. He rants on about how these women collect men's "souls" to give to their master "Satan".
He then starts shouting at two lovely young ladys across the street, calling them "Satan's whores", and accusing them of stealing men's "souls".
I get up and try to crawl away before anyone can assume I'm freinds with this raving loon, but he follows me right up to a group of lovely ladies, who he berates as "whores" and "tools of Satan"...
I tell him to stop insulting the ladies. One lady glares at me, and tells me to do something about my freind.
I try to explain that he is not my freind, he is just a total stranger who keeps following me around.
Thats when he puts his arm around me, and announces that he and I are "brothers in christ", and life-long-best-freinds. At this point I was too horrified to even speak coherantly. Suffice to say that I became utterly undatable for the rest of the year... and the next year... and the year after that.
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A bizzare fundie experience from about 8 or 9 years ago.
I'm sitting in a sidewalk cafe, with my coffee and my mediterranian grilled cheese. Just playing random blues rifs on my guitar. Wishing some fine sweet woman would claim the empty seat across from me.
Instead some guy who smells a bit like old urine jumps into the chair, and helps himself to half my sandwich, and announces that he can play guitar with his feet.
Said guy then procedes to demand that I hand him my $650.00 Godan smallbody so he can bless it.
I asked him politely if he was going to pay for the half of my sandwich he took, and he replys by asking me if a woman made the sandwich.
I reply that ALL the employees at the cafe are women, and ask him again if he is planning to pay for half my sandwich.
He throws the sandwich on the ground, stomps on it, and howls some jibberish about "Satan".
Then he starts raving at me that women "ALL women" are working for Satan. He tells me that any attractive woman will offer me sex, but will demand my "soul" as the price for sex. He rants on about how these women collect men's "souls" to give to their master "Satan".
He then starts shouting at two lovely young ladys across the street, calling them "Satan's whores", and accusing them of stealing men's "souls".
I get up and try to crawl away before anyone can assume I'm freinds with this raving loon, but he follows me right up to a group of lovely ladies, who he berates as "whores" and "tools of Satan"...
I tell him to stop insulting the ladies. One lady glares at me, and tells me to do something about my freind.
I try to explain that he is not my freind, he is just a total stranger who keeps following me around.
Thats when he puts his arm around me, and announces that he and I are "brothers in christ", and life-long-best-freinds. At this point I was too horrified to even speak coherantly. Suffice to say that I became utterly undatable for the rest of the year... and the next year... and the year after that.
I would probably have ripped his arm off and jammed it up his urethra.
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Think the closest I got to real life fundie was one guy handing out those "The Rapture will come on May 21st 2011" people. I took one of the leaflets so I could keep it after the date and totally prove him wrong.
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Think the closest I got to real life fundie was one guy handing out those "The Rapture will come on May 21st 2011" people. I took one of the leaflets so I could keep it after the date and totally prove him wrong.
I don't think it would have convinced him. He probably would have said something like, "But Armageddon math is hard!"
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And when the Rapture didn't happen what'd you do?
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The guy didn't come back. :P
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We used to have this lady at my work who I mentally nicknamed "fire and brimstone". She was a super elderly woman who was a major fundie and hated anything non-christian. I remember one time I held the door opened for her and she told me, and I QUOTE: "Aw, thank you dearie. My God give you a wonderful day in this vile, sinful, dispiciable, rotting, scum filled world."
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Haven't encountered any real-life fundies... but last week when I was in the city, there were two or three people loitering on a busy street just blabering on about being saved by Jesus, the Apocalypse and on and on, with a microphone and speaker.
I was also given a flyer by someone promoting personality tests at a Scientology center, does that count?
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Haven't encountered any real-life fundies... but last week when I was in the city, there were two or three people loitering on a busy street just blabering on about being saved by Jesus, the Apocalypse and on and on, with a microphone and speaker.
I was also given a flyer by someone promoting personality tests at a Scientology center, does that count?
I think any Scientology counts as fundamentalism of the most exploitive sort.
Once, I went to a small school with some fundamentalist Mormon and Evangelical (probably Pentecostal) kids. This was right as Bush announced he would be invading Iraq. I said that the war was unnecessary because blowing up other countries tends to do more harm than good. But this other boy (I'll call him Bob) was saying that we have to go to war because they "hate American freedoms" and "train their kids to kill Americans" and "want to take over America," and also it was our "Christian duty" to reach those filthy brown heathens. I said that taking the actions and sentiments of a few extremists and applying them to all Muslims and all people in the Middle East was intolerant and didn't make much sense. In response, he asked me if I was a "terrorist sympathizer." I said no. He asked me what church I went to. I said I didn't go to a church, but I went to a synagogue sometimes. He said he didn't know what a synagogue was.
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The guy didn't come back. :P
Then the Rapture did happen. He got raptured! :D
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When I took confirmation class, they had this one guy come in who almost singlehandedly deconverted me. He told us that "we don't know what happens to dead unbaptized babies" (official Catholic doctrine is that they probably go into Limbo but more likely go straight to Heaven), that a woman should be glad to "lay down her life for her child" (conceived via rape), and that the only godly method of birth control was the Rhythm Method (which was, as all birth control methods are, not accurate at all and should be avoided if possible). If we got married, we had to do it in a Catholic ceremony and never get divorced, and it was a bad idea to marry a non-Catholic, but if we did, we had to have a Catholic ceremony and raise our kids Catholic. Oh, and "millions of Jews are converted each day" and we should try to convert as many as possible. I ended up getting into a rather heated argument with him about abortion and women's rights and stewed in rage for the rest of the evening.
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Isn't the Rhythm Method subverting God's will just as much as a condom? After all, the objective of using it is to have sex and avoid getting pregnant, and we all know having sex for any other reason than making babies is wrong.
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I've had so many experiences with fundamentalist Christianity over the years that it would be impossible to list everything. Highlights, though, include:
--A creationist telling me that scientists knew that creation was true and only believed in evolution because they didn't want to admit that God was real.
--Being asked why I was so concerned about the rights of "affluent gay people" when there was far worse in the world.
--Someone claiming to have encountered a demon-possessed guy while on a mission trip (some guy rushed at the group screaming) and to have been attacked by demons personally (some sort of intense sleep paralysis that apparently lasted 2 hours).
--A speaker warning everyone about what happens when they go to college. Claimed that universities were full of people who want to disprove God, that nobody had ever seen an atom or a molecule or witnessed a monkey become a man. Said they should trust him because he was a Chemistry major. Also claimed that he had once been an atheist trying to disprove God until he saw God writing something like "I AM COMING. I AM COMING SOON" on the wall one night, then instantly converted.
--A rather disturbing conversation with a fundie who believed that certain diseases were linked to particular sins as natural consequences of immoral behavior (AIDS-homosexuality was one, and breast cancer was linked somehow to use of chemical contraceptives by the mothers of the afflicted). Also believed that the universe was actually an elaborate illusion created by God by using subatomic particles as a kind of computer program.
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When I took confirmation class, they had this one guy come in who almost singlehandedly deconverted me. He told us that "we don't know what happens to dead unbaptized babies" (official Catholic doctrine is that they probably go into Limbo but more likely go straight to Heaven), that a woman should be glad to "lay down her life for her child" (conceived via rape), and that the only godly method of birth control was the Rhythm Method (which was, as all birth control methods are, not accurate at all and should be avoided if possible). If we got married, we had to do it in a Catholic ceremony and never get divorced, and it was a bad idea to marry a non-Catholic, but if we did, we had to have a Catholic ceremony and raise our kids Catholic. Oh, and "millions of Jews are converted each day" and we should try to convert as many as possible. I ended up getting into a rather heated argument with him about abortion and women's rights and stewed in rage for the rest of the evening.
The only form of birth control I have been taught about in school is the Rhythm Method. Basically the teacher said, "Don't have sex unless you want kids, but it's the woman's responsibility to use the rhythm method if she wants to get pregnant, and bythewaycondomsdoexist."
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--Being asked why I was so concerned about the rights of "affluent gay people" when there was far worse in the world.
I hate that kind of argument soooooooooooooooo much!
Though we can always go the absurdist route: “Why are you helping that starving Ethiopian baby? Are you sure there is no one who has it worst? Maybe we need to find a starving Ethiopian baby who is being tortured? Or maybe someone can have it worse than that. Can’t help anyone until we have helped the very worst off, after all!â€Â
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Oh, and "millions of Jews are converted each day" and we should try to convert as many as possible.
I don't suppose anyone bothered to point out that Judaism would vanish in two weeks if that was true?
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*is living disproof of the rhythm method's efficacy* :P
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My friend's mom is a new age fundie. She believes that all diseases are the result of negative thoughts being sent out and bounced off the universe, thus coming back to haunt you in the form of body horror. For instance, in her nutty world, asthma is caused by a person feeling constricted in life.
Needless to say, she's a big fan of quantum mysticism.
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My friend's mom is a new age fundie. She believes that all diseases are the result of negative thoughts being sent out and bounced off the universe, thus coming back to haunt you in the form of body horror. For instance, in her nutty world, asthma is caused by a person feeling constricted in life.
Needless to say, she's a big fan of quantum mysticism.
Fuck. That. Shit.
I once played with a boy up the street who had developmental delays and severe epilepsy. Even today he is two grades behind. His mother was convinced that this boy was an "indigo child" and would trumpet it from the rooftops at every opportunity.
Nice boy though.
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Went digging, and found Facebook screencaps of this woman's nuttery I'd posted on the old forums. Red is her, and Blue is me. These are from well over a year ago.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/smg8qg.jpg)
(http://i52.tinypic.com/2lke4jc.jpg)
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That woman reminds me of the most recent girlfriend of one of my uncles. He has a great taste in music, but god does he have shitty taste in girlfriends. This woman is a bona fide psychopath whose sole goal in life is to screw up everything she touches. I have a lot of stories.
She says that Lyme disease was invented by Nazi scientists given amnesty by the USA on Plum Island. She says traumatic experiences can change your DNA. When she heard about my social anxiety disorder, she told me it was partially my fault because of the law of attraction.
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Yeah, sorry lady, there is absolutely no evidence of that happening. Law of Attraction, as far as I can tell, does not exist.
And this is coming from someone who actually does believe in some mystical shit. At least I believe it based on my experiences, not because it's some wishy washy spiritual belief meant to make me feel superior to everyone else.