Author Topic: Real Life Fundies  (Read 7336 times)

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Offline Jack Mann

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Real Life Fundies
« on: January 04, 2012, 03:11:01 am »
The drive to bring threads over continues!  And I thought this one had a lot of potential.

When I was growing up, I had a dog with polychromatic eyes.  Or rather, he had one polychromatic eye.  One was pure blue, while the other had the upper half brown, the lower half blue.  Some of my neighbors believed that he was possessed by the devil.  They never did anything to him, thankfully, but they sure as hell left our house alone.

Of course, the fact that he was a pretty large dog didn't hurt.
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Miles11

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Re: Real Life Fundies
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2012, 12:50:43 pm »
If I remember correctly, heterochromia was actually considered to be evidence of demonic possession or an otherwise inherent evil in a person. I always thought it was interesting.

As far as my own real life fundy story, I mostly just have the school I use and my grandmother, if you want overt religiousness.

My grandmother is, as I have learned over the past month or so, the type to burn a book because it was about a lesbian. And to force members of our family to attend 'revelation houses', which are essentially Hell Houses but not at Halloween.

Offline Osama bin Bambi

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Re: Real Life Fundies
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2012, 08:22:54 pm »
I don't know any IRL fundies per se but my conspiracy theorist dad could probably fill the mainpage for a few months.
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Offline N. De Plume

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Re: Real Life Fundies
« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2012, 08:39:51 pm »
When I was growing up, I had a dog with polychromatic eyes.  Or rather, he had one polychromatic eye.  One was pure blue, while the other had the upper half brown, the lower half blue.  Some of my neighbors believed that he was possessed by the devil.  They never did anything to him, thankfully, but they sure as hell left our house alone.

Of course, the fact that he was a pretty large dog didn't hurt.
Was the dog a Husky or other breed where heterochromia is particularly common? If so your neighbors get bonus points for canine ignorance.
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Offline Osama bin Bambi

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Re: Real Life Fundies
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2012, 08:48:21 pm »
When I was growing up, I had a dog with polychromatic eyes.  Or rather, he had one polychromatic eye.  One was pure blue, while the other had the upper half brown, the lower half blue.  Some of my neighbors believed that he was possessed by the devil.  They never did anything to him, thankfully, but they sure as hell left our house alone.

Of course, the fact that he was a pretty large dog didn't hurt.
Was the dog a Husky or other breed where heterochromia is particularly common? If so your neighbors get bonus points for canine ignorance.

Dogs with heterochromia are cute. I love huskies. *glomps a husky*
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Offline rageaholic

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Re: Real Life Fundies
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2012, 09:19:06 pm »
From the old board.

I remember being at a friends house 3 years ago. Well one of their friends were a devout religious family. They seemed like nice people, but damn their views were out of this world.

-When we were playing Apples to Apples, one of the words that came up was freedom. I think we were supposed to use it in a positive light or something (I don't remember the game much) so one of the kids jokingly said "Yeah like the freedom for gays to marry" as if it was a bad thing!!

-These same people also said that the only reason Obama got in was because he was black. And since they were strict anti abortion people, they couldn't think of anything other than abortion to justify their vote. So to them, "the cries of the unborn" were on our hands since we voted Obama in. Because 8 years of a "prolife" president made such a difference (not to mention the tens of thousands of people killed in Iraq). Prolife my ass! 

Offline Auri-El

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Re: Real Life Fundies
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2012, 11:05:41 pm »
But that's WHY we should be pro-life, so we can raise an army to bring democracy to the world! /fundiethink

Offline Osama bin Bambi

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Re: Real Life Fundies
« Reply #7 on: January 04, 2012, 11:47:13 pm »
But that's WHY we should be pro-life, so we can raise an army to bring democracy to the world! /fundiethink

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Offline Jack Mann

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Re: Real Life Fundies
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2012, 03:37:35 am »
Was the dog a Husky or other breed where heterochromia is particularly common? If so your neighbors get bonus points for canine ignorance.

He was more husky than anything else, but to be fair, we didn't realize it for the longest time either.  He had yellow-orange fur and ears like a lab.  Like most mutts in my experience, he was an awesome dog.
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Offline N. De Plume

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Re: Real Life Fundies
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2012, 09:06:06 am »
Mutt with husky blood. Cool. Wouldn’t expect your neighbors to recognize that.
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Offline rageaholic

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Re: Real Life Fundies
« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2012, 01:12:04 pm »
I just remembered another one.  This was from a speaker at a really wierd Catholic church youth group I attended as a teen.  The topic was on abortion and man was it wierd.  First we saw some extremely depressing, High Octane Nightmare Fueled videos on the regrets women had when they aborted their babies.  Then we listened to this guy talk.  He actually claimed that abortion was worse than slavery because with slavery you can just run away.  As if I wasn't emotionally drained as it was, we were forced to put those crosses in the ground and say some wierd prayers.  It was very cultlike and scary, like nothing I had done the church I actually attended.  I still get freaked out thinking about it, but that quote from that speaker sealed the deal.

I never returned after that mess. 

Offline N. De Plume

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Re: Real Life Fundies
« Reply #11 on: January 06, 2012, 01:32:33 pm »
Uh, yeah. I was raised Catholic, and I can tell you that that is weird. Never had anything remotely like that. Ever.
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Offline D Laurier

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Re: Real Life Fundies
« Reply #12 on: January 06, 2012, 04:34:14 pm »
A bizzare fundie experience from about 8 or 9 years ago.
I'm sitting in a sidewalk cafe, with my coffee and my mediterranian grilled cheese. Just playing random blues rifs on my guitar. Wishing some fine sweet woman would claim the empty seat across from me.

Instead some guy who smells a bit like old urine jumps into the chair, and helps himself to half my sandwich, and announces that he can play guitar with his feet.
Said guy then procedes to demand that I hand him my $650.00 Godan smallbody so he can bless it.
I asked him politely if he was going to pay for the half of my sandwich he took, and he replys by asking me if a woman made the sandwich.
I reply that ALL the employees at the cafe are women, and ask him again if he is planning to pay for half my sandwich.
He throws the sandwich on the ground, stomps on it, and howls some jibberish about "Satan".
Then he starts raving at me that women "ALL women" are working for Satan. He tells me that any attractive woman will offer me sex, but will demand my "soul" as the price for sex. He rants on about how these women collect men's "souls" to give to their master "Satan".
He then starts shouting at two lovely young ladys across the street, calling them "Satan's whores", and accusing them of stealing men's "souls".
I get up and try to crawl away before anyone can assume I'm freinds with this raving loon, but he follows me right up to a group of lovely ladies, who he berates as "whores" and "tools of Satan"...
I tell him to stop insulting the ladies. One lady glares at me, and tells me to do something about my freind.
I try to explain that he is not my freind, he is just a total stranger who keeps following me around.
Thats when he puts his arm around me, and announces that he and I are "brothers in christ", and life-long-best-freinds. At this point I was too horrified to even speak coherantly. Suffice to say that I became utterly undatable for the rest of the year... and the next year... and the year after that.


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Offline Meshakhad

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Re: Real Life Fundies
« Reply #13 on: January 06, 2012, 04:47:03 pm »
A bizzare fundie experience from about 8 or 9 years ago.
I'm sitting in a sidewalk cafe, with my coffee and my mediterranian grilled cheese. Just playing random blues rifs on my guitar. Wishing some fine sweet woman would claim the empty seat across from me.

Instead some guy who smells a bit like old urine jumps into the chair, and helps himself to half my sandwich, and announces that he can play guitar with his feet.
Said guy then procedes to demand that I hand him my $650.00 Godan smallbody so he can bless it.
I asked him politely if he was going to pay for the half of my sandwich he took, and he replys by asking me if a woman made the sandwich.
I reply that ALL the employees at the cafe are women, and ask him again if he is planning to pay for half my sandwich.
He throws the sandwich on the ground, stomps on it, and howls some jibberish about "Satan".
Then he starts raving at me that women "ALL women" are working for Satan. He tells me that any attractive woman will offer me sex, but will demand my "soul" as the price for sex. He rants on about how these women collect men's "souls" to give to their master "Satan".
He then starts shouting at two lovely young ladys across the street, calling them "Satan's whores", and accusing them of stealing men's "souls".
I get up and try to crawl away before anyone can assume I'm freinds with this raving loon, but he follows me right up to a group of lovely ladies, who he berates as "whores" and "tools of Satan"...
I tell him to stop insulting the ladies. One lady glares at me, and tells me to do something about my freind.
I try to explain that he is not my freind, he is just a total stranger who keeps following me around.
Thats when he puts his arm around me, and announces that he and I are "brothers in christ", and life-long-best-freinds. At this point I was too horrified to even speak coherantly. Suffice to say that I became utterly undatable for the rest of the year... and the next year... and the year after that.

I would probably have ripped his arm off and jammed it up his urethra.
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Offline myusername

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Re: Real Life Fundies
« Reply #14 on: January 07, 2012, 05:00:39 pm »
Think the closest I got to real life fundie was one guy handing out those "The Rapture will come on May 21st 2011" people. I took one of the leaflets so I could keep it after the date and totally prove him wrong.