Too... fucking... funny...

[Nightangel8212]

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/daily-buzz/edmonton-police-sending-bull-catch-cow-bad-idea-162937036.html

A cow escaped on its way the slaughterhouse and was wandering around the city. Our local police (who evidently don't know how to contact an experienced farmer to learn how to catch an escaped cow) consulted one another and decided that by releasing a BULL, it would attract the cow and they would merrily walk back to the cattle trailer once more.

So, instead of just a cow on the loose, they had a cow and a large freakin' bull wandering around on the loose.

They somehow managed to get the cow back into custody, but the larger and scarier bull was still loose. So, what was their next move?

"Let's circle it with loud snowmobiles and airhorns to try scaring it back!"

Needless to say, that didn't work either. They wound up having to tranquilize the bull.

As someone who grew up chasing escaped cattle almost every other week, I find this just fucking hilarious.

[FirsthandTuna]

That's almost art.

[Rabbit of Caerbannog]

Didn't this happen on The Simpsons?

SKINNER: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.

LISA: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?

SKINNER: No problem. We simply unleash wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.

LISA: But aren't the snakes even worse?

SKINNER: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.

LISA: But then we're stuck with gorillas!

SKINNER: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

[mellenORL]

Nightangel, don't know about you, but when I was a teen, working on a small ranch over the summers, I used to get a small bachelor herd of 5 brahma bulls to come on out of the horses' stalls (lazy, lumbering horsefeed thieves!) by shaking a bowl full of deeee-lishhhh-oussss dry dog food where they could see and hear me. They'd come a runnin' over for the treat every time.

[Nightangel8212]

Try having your parents gone for a week, waking up, and finding 250 cattle had escaped overnight and are now wandering around the yard. I had to call our neighbor, and just him, me, and his two sons were able to herd them all back into the pasture. It's not that difficult when you actually know HOW to do it lol. It's just a little time consuming.

[Old Viking]

Bulls are always cooperative.  They respond readily to commands and have pleasant dispositions.

[Scotsgit]

Seen on a sign outside Jedburgh (a town in the Scottish Borders)

"Dear people who like to wander across my fields

It will take you exactly 6 minutes to cross the field

My bull can run the length of this field in under 10 seconds

The choice is yours.

Yours, The Farmer.

P.S.  While you're running, you may hear someone laughing.  That's me."

[Radiation]

Congratulations Nightangel, you just made me piss my pants, literally.

I never grew up on a farm but I lived near one during my formative years and every now and then one of our farmer neighbor's cattle would get loose and he'd have to wrangle it back in.

Question is, why didn't these cops even think about finding out and contacting nearby farmers to see which cow it belonged to and/or get help?

[Rabbit of Caerbannog]

Try having your parents gone for a week, waking up, and finding 250 cattle had escaped overnight and are now wandering around the yard. I had to call our neighbor, and just him, me, and his two sons were able to herd them all back into the pasture. It's not that difficult when you actually know HOW to do it lol. It's just a little time consuming.

The farm near my house had cows escape and wander through my front yard. I just turned it into an impromptu petting zoo. Because cows are freaking adorable.

[Scotsgit]

I can only assume that these cops, should they hear there's a terrorist in town, are going to phone Bruce Willis for advice.

[Jack Mann]

Try having your parents gone for a week, waking up, and finding 250 cattle had escaped overnight and are now wandering around the yard. I had to call our neighbor, and just him, me, and his two sons were able to herd them all back into the pasture. It's not that difficult when you actually know HOW to do it lol. It's just a little time consuming.

The farm near my house had cows escape and wander through my front yard. I just turned it into an impromptu petting zoo. Because cows are freaking adorable.

And delicious!

[Rabbit of Caerbannog]

Try having your parents gone for a week, waking up, and finding 250 cattle had escaped overnight and are now wandering around the yard. I had to call our neighbor, and just him, me, and his two sons were able to herd them all back into the pasture. It's not that difficult when you actually know HOW to do it lol. It's just a little time consuming.

The farm near my house had cows escape and wander through my front yard. I just turned it into an impromptu petting zoo. Because cows are freaking adorable.

And delicious!

Actually right now I'm craving muffins...

*eyes Jack hungrily*

[Jack Mann]

Don't make me call in the holy close air support of Antioch.