Author Topic: Lana and Logan: Clickbait and Love  (Read 1226 times)

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Offline niam2023

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Lana and Logan: Clickbait and Love
« on: March 04, 2018, 04:54:00 am »
(I have no idea why I wrote this - may be the fact I am stupid drunk)

Lana was waiting in a cafe for the next reply to come in on the google lawsuit topic, she could not stand to let this go. Not when there were bros to defend in their ways of sexual harassment and bro cultural norms. Lana was drinking a vanilla bean cappuccino with a lot of sugar and half and half in it, such that she could stay awake even when the going got rough late at night, such was her commitment to internet bro culture.

But then she looked out the window and saw the most beautiful specimen of manhood she had ever seen, getting ready to jump into the river / lake / thing just outside.

"NOOOO!" Shouted some square who Lana didn't bother to look much at, "THAT IS FORBIDDEN!"

"Logang for life!" The tall, muscular blond in his tiny shorts responded with candor, and leaped in. Lana got up, slowly dropping her phone as it hit the ground in dramatic slowdown. He climbed back out and ran back around to thunderous applause from internetizens who liked his stuff.

Lana was eating of his muscular body with her eyes like this was the first man she had ever seen who truly encapsulated what she liked.

"Who is that?" Lana asked concerned looking woman gaping at what just happened.

"CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE!" The concerned looking woman said in repulsion, "THAT IS LOGAN PAUL, HE IS BAD."

Lana said, "STFU FU SJW."

And then Lana kicked social justice blogger chick into the coffee maker, which made like that one machine from the second Kingsman movie all of a sudden and turned social justice lady into social justice flavor coffee.

Lana went outside and walked up to a drenched Logan Paul.

"So you are tremendous and buff and wonderfully large." She said with her tremendously affected hormones of attraction.

"Thanks I get that a lot." Logan said with confidence, "What's your name, beautiful woman?"

Lana's heart was hit by the flirtation and the hormones she was hit with because of him flirting back, and all at once she suffered a cataclysmic heart attack that left her temporarily dead on the ground. Logan knew what to do.

He got Jake to give him the Taser of Life, which he used to fill Lana with 1000 volts, which got her heart back started and she leaped to her feet.

She was madly in love, "you made me not be dead!!! I AM SO MUCH IN LOVE!"

And then they grandly violated social norms by fucking right there on the street in front of entire Logang and Jake Paul!!

Square Guy Who Shouted It Was Forbidden Earlier had such anger he exploded before he could make the call to the police.

The End(????)
Living Life, Lifting, Waiting for Summer

Offline dpareja

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Re: Lana and Logan: Clickbait and Love
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2018, 05:08:05 am »
Insufficient mentions of ethics.
Quote from: Jordan Duram
It doesn't concern you, Sister, that kind of absolutist view of the universe? Right and wrong determined solely by a single all-knowing, all powerful being whose judgment cannot be questioned and in whose name the most horrendous acts can be sanctioned without appeal?

Quote from: Supreme Court of Canada
Being required by someone else’s religious beliefs to behave contrary to one’s sexual identity is degrading and disrespectful.

Offline Skybison

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Re: Lana and Logan: Clickbait and Love
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2018, 01:17:08 am »
FAKE NEWS

Lana would never betray her one true love

Offline niam2023

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Re: Lana and Logan: Clickbait and Love
« Reply #3 on: March 06, 2018, 12:36:23 am »
Mind the sex tape! Lanagan (that is the portmanteau couple name fight me) is canon!
Living Life, Lifting, Waiting for Summer

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: Lana and Logan: Clickbait and Love
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2018, 03:37:10 am »
She was madly in love, "you made me not be dead!!! I AM SO MUCH IN LOVE!"

"Ohhh fuuuck man, I go into a suicide forest and all I get is this spacey broad who wants to be not dead! This sucks bro!"