Author Topic: A new castration plan  (Read 114 times)

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Offline Jacob Harrison

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A new castration plan
« on: May 29, 2018, 06:56:07 am »
The plan to get Art to come to America to castrate me and then for me to claim that a wild animal did it, had problems. It would be very unlikely that an animal specifically attacked and bit off my balls. To make it believable, I would have to also have other wounds to my body, but I am not an expert at giving myself wounds without risking breaking arteries or vains that could cause severe blood loss.

So perhaps Art should fashion coyote jaws out of clay, with the sharp teeth of coyotes. I live in a part of America that has lots of coyotes so it would be believable that a coyote attacked me.. He can use the jaws to press into parts of my body to create a whole ton of bite marks.
Gifts such as modern science, free-market economics, art, music, and the idea of human rights come from the Catholic Church, explains Woods. No institution has done more to shape Western civilization than the two-thousand-year-old Catholic Church

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: A new castration plan
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2018, 07:15:20 am »
All of these are really the same thread aren't they? A better title would be "Jacobs masturbation plan!"

Maybe we should rename the section!

Offline SomeApe

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Re: A new castration plan
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2018, 07:19:10 am »
Come on, this guy can't be for real  ;D
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Online Art Vandelay

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Re: A new castration plan
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2018, 07:58:37 am »
One thing at a time, my friend. Get the funds together first (possibly by starting a pretender war in the UK and smuggling arms over there, if you're still oh-so above prostitution), then figure out the next stage of the plan.

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: A new castration plan
« Reply #4 on: May 29, 2018, 08:39:02 am »
Come on, this guy can't be for real  ;D

I really do want to be castrated because I am heterosexual and attracted to women in trousers especially jeans but not sexual enough that I think I am capable of normal sex because I get more turned on by women in trousers then naked women. To reproduce, I would have to masterbate to my wife in trousers before sticking my penis into her vagina. If I can’t be normally sexual, I might as well be asexual.
Gifts such as modern science, free-market economics, art, music, and the idea of human rights come from the Catholic Church, explains Woods. No institution has done more to shape Western civilization than the two-thousand-year-old Catholic Church

Offline SomeApe

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Re: A new castration plan
« Reply #5 on: May 29, 2018, 01:09:17 pm »
Don't think you can bait me, your story is way to wild and inconsistent.
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Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: A new castration plan
« Reply #6 on: May 29, 2018, 02:52:23 pm »
Don't think you can bait me, your story is way to wild and inconsistent.

It is not wild. I am cursed with such an extreme clothing fetish, that I am not sure if I am capable of normal sex. I did a google image search for naked women, seeing a bunch of pictures, and I am not getting an errection by them. So unless my fetish can actually be treated, I don’t see how I can have normal sex with a wife.
Gifts such as modern science, free-market economics, art, music, and the idea of human rights come from the Catholic Church, explains Woods. No institution has done more to shape Western civilization than the two-thousand-year-old Catholic Church

Offline KingOfRhye

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Re: A new castration plan
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2018, 03:20:13 pm »
It is not wild. I am cursed with such an extreme clothing fetish, that I am not sure if I am capable of normal sex. I did a google image search for naked women, seeing a bunch of pictures, and I am not getting an errection by them. So unless my fetish can actually be treated, I don’t see how I can have normal sex with a wife.

So have some abnormal sex with a wife!  Find one who's either into the same kind of thing or at least is willing to indulge you in it, and have some fun.

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: A new castration plan
« Reply #8 on: May 29, 2018, 03:44:21 pm »
It is not wild. I am cursed with such an extreme clothing fetish, that I am not sure if I am capable of normal sex. I did a google image search for naked women, seeing a bunch of pictures, and I am not getting an errection by them. So unless my fetish can actually be treated, I don’t see how I can have normal sex with a wife.

So have some abnormal sex with a wife!  Find one who's either into the same kind of thing or at least is willing to indulge you in it, and have some fun.

But I want to use sex for it’s biological purpose of procreation meaning that the sex would have to involve eventually ejaculating semen into her vagina. And the chances of finding a conservative Anglican woman willing to indulge in it is very unlikely.
Gifts such as modern science, free-market economics, art, music, and the idea of human rights come from the Catholic Church, explains Woods. No institution has done more to shape Western civilization than the two-thousand-year-old Catholic Church

Offline davedan

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Re: A new castration plan
« Reply #9 on: May 29, 2018, 06:50:44 pm »
Come on, this guy can't be for real  ;D

No he's not for real but he has Sacha Baron Cohen levels of dedication to staying in Character. Fuck its funny though.

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: A new castration plan
« Reply #10 on: May 29, 2018, 08:57:35 pm »
There shoukd be a horseshoe theory of internet lunacy where the true believing zealots and the trolls end up being practically identical out of sheer dedication!
« Last Edit: May 29, 2018, 10:36:36 pm by Tolpuddle Martyr »

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: A new castration plan
« Reply #11 on: May 29, 2018, 09:31:57 pm »
There shoukd be a horseshoe theory of interbet lunacy where the true believing zealots and the trolls end up being practically identical out of sheer dedication!

I am for real. I am trying to figure out ways I can actually get myself castrated because my jean fetish is making me miserable because I doubt that I could find a conservative Anglican wife that would tolerate having sex involving getting turned on by her in jeans.
Gifts such as modern science, free-market economics, art, music, and the idea of human rights come from the Catholic Church, explains Woods. No institution has done more to shape Western civilization than the two-thousand-year-old Catholic Church

Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: A new castration plan
« Reply #12 on: May 29, 2018, 09:32:42 pm »
There shoukd be a horseshoe theory of interbet lunacy where the true believing zealots and the trolls end up being practically identical out of sheer dedication!

I am for real. I am trying to figure out ways I can actually get myself castrated because my jean fetish is making me miserable because I doubt that I could find a conservative Anglican wife that would tolerate having sex involving getting turned on by her in jeans.

well, at least you picked a good character to roleplay.
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