Patriarch Filaret: "Vladimir Putin is possessed by Satan"

[Ultimate Paragon]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/vladimir-putin/11079988/Vladimir-Putin-possessed-by-Satan-and-faces-eternal-damnation.html

Vladimir Putin is possessed by Satan and faces eternal damnation unless he repents, the head of Ukraine's Orthodox Church has claimed in a statement titled "New Cain".

Patriarch Filaret issued a statement accusing the Russian leader of trying to "incite bloodshed and killings" in eastern Ukraine.

"With great regret I must now say publicly that among the rulers of this world ... there has appeared a new Cain, not by his name but by his deeds," he said

"Like the first fratricide of history Cain, these deeds show that the aforementioned ruler has fallen under the action of Satan," he said in the statement, published on the patriarchate's website in Ukrainian, Russian and English.

Mr Putin "himself tells obvious outward lies: while organising and sending mercenary killers to our countries, he talks about an 'internal conflict' in which he is allegedly not involved," he said.

Patriarch Filaret heads the Kiev Patriarchate, a branch of the Orthodox Church that broke away from Moscow in 1992

The patriarch added that Ukrainians had repeatedly called on Mr Putin "and his accomplices to come to their senses, stop sowing evil and death, and repent".

"But it seems that he remains deaf to these calls and only multiplies evil because he, like Judas Iscariot, has become possessed by Satan."

Patriarch Filaret added there was still hope for Mr Putin.

"However, relying on God's mercy to all sinners, yet we maintain hope on repentance of this ruler and refer to him the call of millions of people: Stop, cease the multiplication of lies and murder, come to your senses!", the statement says.

I'm not exactly an expert on Orthodox Christian theology, but if he's possessed by Satan, doesn't that mean he's not responsible for his actions?

[Second Coming of Madman]

Oh ho ho, Filaret's starting to act all uppity against his old pal Vlad. Well, this won't end in exile to labor camp. No, sir.

Edit: My apologies, I was not aware of the schism between the Ukrainian branch and the Russian branch of the Orthodox Church. I meant to refer to Kirill, who I regard as nothing more than a political crony for Putin. Protip: Refer to them by Branch, UP.

[Witchyjoshy]

Oh look, Christians blaming tragedy on Satan.  I have never seen this before.

[niam2023]

Putin is probably so hideously evil even the Devil would take one look at that guy and go "NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOT POSSESSING THAT!!"

[lord gibbon]

Perhaps he'd pull a Wheatherwax on Satan. "You're not possessing me, I'm possessing you!"

[niam2023]

Lucifer: Wait, what? How am I possessed by you? I am the far more wicked spirit in attendance!

Putin: Ya? Really, Old Scratch? Lets hear your rap sheet.

Lucifer: I rebelled against God, I tricked Adam and Eve...I think. That one depends on the interpretation. I married Adam's ex-wife Lilith and produced some unclean spirits...and I tempted Jesus.

Putin: bwahaha! That all? I, Vladimir Putin, have launched a horrifically brutal war on a tiny country, I've killed numerous people in my career as a KGB agent, I've backed ruthless, murderous rebels who shot down an airliner and then hung the rebels out to dry until they suited me again, and lets not forget my agenda with homosexuality and the...ah, ways, people have taken to interpreting it.

Lucifer: ...You're a sick, sick freak.

[I am lizard]

I think Putin hates dogs.

[Askold]

And here we have a second opinion from the Ortodox church:

http://www.themoscowtimes.com/news/article/radical-russian-orthodox-activist-to-lecture-on-whether-putin-will-become-god/506325.html

Rather than being possessed by Lucifer, Putin may in fact be so amazing and righteous that he is turning into God...

[Art Vandelay]

So the Ukrainian Orthodox church says he's possessed by Satan, and the Russian Orthodox church says he's the avatar of God himself. Well, there's a big fucking surprise.

[ironbite]

OH GEE WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED!/Iago.

[niam2023]

That takes bootlicking to a heretofore unknown level.

Your regular old kiss-ass will sing your praises. In Russia? You get declared a holy avatar.

[RavynousHunter]

If Putin becomes god, does that mean the Almighty will have stats?  Because, as we all know, if you stat it, they WILL kill it.

[Askold]

That takes bootlicking to a heretofore unknown level.

Your regular old kiss-ass will sing your praises. In Russia? You get declared a holy avatar.

Don't forget the all female fan-club/religious-cult to Putin.

[Sigmaleph]

So the Ukrainian Orthodox church says he's possessed by Satan, and the Russian Orthodox church says he's the avatar of God himself. Well, there's a big fucking surprise.

It's less "the Russian Orthodox Church" and more "some guy who happens to be a fanatical Russian Orthodox"

[Ultimate Paragon]

I wonder how long it'll take before Putin gets himself a cult of personality.