Author Topic: Vending Machine  (Read 52506 times)

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Offline Random Guy

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Vending Machine
« on: March 12, 2012, 06:09:47 am »
Thought I'd add another popular internet game to the forum.

A huge vending machine stands before you! You can put in whatever you like and receive something else in return, usually related to whatever you put in.

Example:

Person 1: I insert a cow.

Person 2: You get a bottle of milk.
Person 2: I insert a meteor.

Person 3: You get a bunch of squished dinosaurs.
Person 3: I insert Rush Limbaugh.

Person 4: You get a steaming pile of bullshit. Er, I mean, you get Rush Limbaugh back. It's kind of hard to tell the difference.
Person 4: I insert a kitten.

and so on.

So I'll start by inserting a kitten.
Quote from: The_Queen
I have more pleasant things to focus my attention, time, and resources on than Gamergate or the Gamergate thread, such as pouring hot sauce in my eyes, lemon juice enemas, and imagining being eaten alive by fire ants.

Offline Art Vandelay

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2012, 08:05:36 am »
You get the broken and bloody remains of a kitten you just forced through a vending machine. You asshole.

I insert my dick.

Offline Podkayne

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2012, 12:31:50 pm »
The broken and bloody remains of your dick you just forced through a vending machine.

A painting of a sailing ship being towed by steam tugs.
Don't make vague, generic threats, or else!

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #3 on: March 12, 2012, 01:06:03 pm »

A painting of a sailing ship being towed by steam tugs.

You get a painting of steam tugs being towed by sailing ships

I'll put in my cell phone.

Offline Sleepy

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #4 on: March 12, 2012, 01:10:35 pm »
You get Bieber's cell phone number.

I insert Kansas.
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

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Offline Random Guy

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #5 on: March 12, 2012, 04:55:34 pm »
A seemingly endless stream of corn, wheat, and soybeans pours out of the machine.

I insert the Bible.
Quote from: The_Queen
I have more pleasant things to focus my attention, time, and resources on than Gamergate or the Gamergate thread, such as pouring hot sauce in my eyes, lemon juice enemas, and imagining being eaten alive by fire ants.

Offline Cerim Treascair

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #6 on: March 12, 2012, 04:59:58 pm »
You get a list of books and previous mythos they ripped off, with footnotes and details.

I insert the legendarily bad Sonic 2006.
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Offline Eniliad

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #7 on: March 12, 2012, 05:13:15 pm »
You get Sonic Unleashed.

I insert the Mona Lisa.
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Offline gyeonghwa

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #8 on: March 12, 2012, 05:43:22 pm »
You get several thesis about the meaning and significance of the Mona Lisa

I insert the UNESCO list of intangible cultural heritage.
That may be the single gayest thing I have ever read on this board. Or the old one. ;)

Offline Random Guy

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #9 on: March 12, 2012, 06:06:41 pm »
You get a list of "Places we should bulldoze for being eyesores and turn into hotels/casinos/oilfields/etc."
...It looks suspiciously similar to the list you just put in...

I insert my ex-girlfriend.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2012, 06:09:18 pm by Random Guy »
Quote from: The_Queen
I have more pleasant things to focus my attention, time, and resources on than Gamergate or the Gamergate thread, such as pouring hot sauce in my eyes, lemon juice enemas, and imagining being eaten alive by fire ants.

Offline RavynousHunter

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #10 on: March 12, 2012, 06:45:36 pm »
You get my brother's ex-girlfriend.  (Majorly overweight, dumber than a post, and married to a Mormon.)

I insert a TV.
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Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #11 on: March 12, 2012, 10:35:07 pm »
You get a tv that plays nothing but Jerry Springer reruns.

I insert another vending machine.
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Offline Art Vandelay

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #12 on: March 12, 2012, 11:32:32 pm »
You get the "yo dawg" guy (whatever the fuck his name is).

I insert a bag of cabbages.

Offline Sleepy

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #13 on: March 13, 2012, 12:06:08 am »
You get a bunch of dancing Irish folks.

I insert a white elephant.
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

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Offline jumpingjackflash

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #14 on: March 13, 2012, 12:30:06 am »
You get the "yo dawg" guy (whatever the fuck his name is).

You're referring to Xzibit, I assume?

Anyway...you get a stampede.

I insert a copy of Final Fantasy VII.
Ok seriously, is nobody even going to try and avenge my man-burrito?