Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 121485 times)

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Offline Hofstadter's Tortoise

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Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« on: January 04, 2012, 04:27:05 am »
Basically someone says they wish for something and someone responds that it's granted but something bad happens.

Example: I wish I had a new book

Example response: Granted, but its old and wrecked


To start off. I wish that the bins in the kitchen wouldnt have to be emptied twice a day because of all the crap we go through
Faisons lever l'étoile du mérite passé.  Le monde a besoin de lumière,  Le monde a besoin de la France,  La France a besoin de tous les Français.

Online ironbite

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2012, 04:27:56 am »
Granted.  They gain sentience and come after you.

Ironbite-I wish for three pounds of fish.

Offline GLaDOS

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2012, 12:56:46 pm »
Granted, you may masturbate three times with any fish.

I wish Chell would stop trying to kill me.
Space? SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
How are you holding up? Because I'm a POTATO.
Silence will fall.
For fuck's sake, please keep my fucks given levels balanced.

Offline Scotsgit

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2012, 03:35:08 pm »
Granted:  They suceed.

I wish 40K Titans were real and I owned one.
I am serious, and stop calling me Shirley!

Offline GLaDOS

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2012, 04:54:20 pm »
Granted:  They suceed.

I wish 40K Titans were real and I owned one.
Granted, but they are unstable, and cause all the uranium on earth to reach critical mass after 5 minutes

Also, Chell already has suceeded, twice, in fact, so you didn't grant my wish...

I wish Wheatley would shut up.
Space? SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
How are you holding up? Because I'm a POTATO.
Silence will fall.
For fuck's sake, please keep my fucks given levels balanced.

Offline Zygarde

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2012, 05:52:37 pm »
Granted but he is replaced by the space core.

I wish people tipped more at the restaurant i work at

Offline Scotsgit

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2012, 06:38:33 pm »
Granted:  The tip is to stop working at that restaurant.

I wish I own Games Workshop
I am serious, and stop calling me Shirley!

Offline Osama bin Bambi

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2012, 01:13:35 am »
Granted: All the workers go on strike. You had no idea there was a video game industry union.

I wish I could learn from books by osmosis.
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Offline Smurfette Principle

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2012, 01:17:30 am »
All the books in the world are homeopathic conspiracy theorist books and books by Jenny McCarthy.

I wish I had a vibrator without my parents knowing about it.

Offline Osama bin Bambi

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2012, 01:19:39 am »
All the books in the world are homeopathic conspiracy theorist books and books by Jenny McCarthy.

I wish I had a vibrator without my parents knowing about it.

Granted: It's irreparably broken.

I wish I was more original.
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There are very few problems that cannot be solved with a good taint punching.

Offline Undecided

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #10 on: January 05, 2012, 01:24:51 am »
Granted. You are transported 100,000ish years back in time and are now Mitochondrial Eve.

I wish for a gigantic paradise.
You mad, you lose.

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Le doute n'est pas une condition agréable, mais la certitude est absurde.
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Offline Jack Bauer

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #11 on: January 05, 2012, 06:43:12 am »
Granted... The paradise is so enormously huge that is expands the limits of the known universe which immediately implodes into a singularity which then disappears up Michele Bachmann's posterior orifice.

I wish I could make fundtard nutjobs understand that the Big Bang was not a fucking explosion!
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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #12 on: January 05, 2012, 07:40:57 am »
Granted, but you now can't convince them that it was not a wad of Vegemite being snorted out of a giant space hippo's left nostril.

I wish I had AU$3000.

Offline Her3tiK

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #13 on: January 05, 2012, 12:26:35 pm »
Granted. You now live in Somalia.

I wish that we could elect rage comic memes into public office.
Her3tik, you have groupies.
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There are a number of ways, though my favourite is simply to take them by surprise. They're just walking down the street, minding their own business when suddenly, WHACK! Penis to the face.

Offline GLaDOS

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #14 on: January 05, 2012, 04:23:07 pm »
granted, but the only rage comic meme left in existence is scumbag congress.

I was conducting the Schroedinger's Cat experiment yesterday. The bad news is reality doesn't exist, and the good news is, I'll be needing a new cat cemetery. So I wish for that before they start stinking up the place.
Space? SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
How are you holding up? Because I'm a POTATO.
Silence will fall.
For fuck's sake, please keep my fucks given levels balanced.