Author Topic: religious chain letter thingamie!  (Read 2498 times)

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Offline Caitshidhe

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religious chain letter thingamie!
« on: May 07, 2014, 09:28:24 pm »
Boything and i got this weird, stupid, hilarious religious chain letter thingy in the mail. We've lived here for a year and it was addressed to 'Resident', so I have no idea why we got it. Maybe the previous tenant signed up for it. Anyway, it's so full of silliness and stupid that I decided to take pictures of it and share the crazy! Enjoy!

(click to show/hide)

Hope you got a laugh out of the silliness! I thought you guys may get a kick out if how ridiculous and snake-oil-esque it was. I still haven't opened the 'Prophecy' yet but Boything and Tay (our awesome roommate) think it'll be pretty stupid. I'm inclined to agree...
'The idea that things must have a beginning is really due to the poverty of our imaginations.' -- Bertrand Russel

Offline Ultimate Paragon

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Re: religious chain letter thingamie!
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2014, 09:31:18 pm »

Offline Igor

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Re: religious chain letter thingamie!
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2014, 09:31:48 pm »
Reminds me of this..
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYwLGYVrUn4" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYwLGYVrUn4</a>


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The logical response to getting that tingle in his dingle is turning into an asshat, of course.

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Online ironbite

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Re: religious chain letter thingamie!
« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2014, 09:37:08 pm »
I love this!  I really do!

Ironbite-should totally send them back something...LIKE MILK!

Offline davedan

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Re: religious chain letter thingamie!
« Reply #4 on: May 07, 2014, 09:59:11 pm »
Please open the prophecy and show us. Also I agree with Ironbite send them back milk in a plastic bag or better yet very old cream. Or just plain old talcum powder.

Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: religious chain letter thingamie!
« Reply #5 on: May 07, 2014, 10:02:33 pm »
Y'know, for some reason or another the thing I find weird is how the bishop keeps referring to himself solely as "an old church bishop". Almost like whoever wrote this didn't want to give a name (because there's no bishop).

Also, that the rug is supposed to be used by two people, of which you are supposedly the first, but obviously the second person will receive the same rug with the same message that also says they are the first and have to send it to a second person. Like, why even bother lying about that.

No idea why I'm focusing on that with all the other weird going on, but I am.

EDIT: Also, echoing davedan, please open the prophecy and tell us what's inside!
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Offline Caitshidhe

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Re: religious chain letter thingamie!
« Reply #6 on: May 07, 2014, 10:18:50 pm »
They're lying about everything, I'm sure. I bet you send your 'prayer list' to them and they writ back saying, 'INSERT COIN TO CONTINUE' or sommat. Tay suggested sending the prepaid envelope back taped to the box the table came in, then fill the box with rocks, rotten eggs, and a copy of the Koran. I'm evil.
'The idea that things must have a beginning is really due to the poverty of our imaginations.' -- Bertrand Russel

Offline Witchyjoshy

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Re: religious chain letter thingamie!
« Reply #7 on: May 07, 2014, 10:37:05 pm »
Find the wooiest Wiccan/Satanist curse you can locate and send it to them.

If they're half as gullible as they expect you to be, they'll freak out.
Mockery of ideas you don't comprehend or understand is the surest mark of unintelligence.

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Offline Caitshidhe

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Re: religious chain letter thingamie!
« Reply #8 on: May 07, 2014, 10:42:54 pm »
OOOHHHH! so many good ideas, so little time. I should hold a raffle to decide what to do with the prepaid postage. Winner chooses.
'The idea that things must have a beginning is really due to the poverty of our imaginations.' -- Bertrand Russel

Offline Old Viking

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Re: religious chain letter thingamie!
« Reply #9 on: May 08, 2014, 07:19:15 pm »
I tried running a version of this scam once, but it wasn't worth the effort.  Sacred, holy spot used underwear held little appeal.
I am an old man, and I've seen many problems, most of which never happened.

Offline Caitshidhe

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Re: religious chain letter thingamie!
« Reply #10 on: May 08, 2014, 11:13:58 pm »
Disappointing update: the 'prophecy' has gone missing before I could open it. This is clearly a sign from Newspaper Jesus that I must repent and atone for my wicked, sinful ways, and totally not a sign that we need to clear off the table since we keep losing stuff on it. I'll keep my eyes peeled for it but I'm legitimately disappointed it isn't here.
'The idea that things must have a beginning is really due to the poverty of our imaginations.' -- Bertrand Russel

Offline Witchyjoshy

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Re: religious chain letter thingamie!
« Reply #11 on: May 09, 2014, 01:13:54 am »
Disappointing update: the 'prophecy' has gone missing before I could open it.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWaLxFIVX1s" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWaLxFIVX1s</a>
Mockery of ideas you don't comprehend or understand is the surest mark of unintelligence.

Even the worst union is better than the best Walmart.

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Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: religious chain letter thingamie!
« Reply #12 on: May 09, 2014, 08:48:25 pm »
Clearly God himself saw what you were trying to do and got rid of the prophecy to prevent you from making a mistake that would damn your soul.

On the upside, that means that if you can find it you're officially more powerful than God.
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Offline Kat S.

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Re: religious chain letter thingamie!
« Reply #13 on: May 29, 2014, 09:48:52 pm »
One time my first older sister was having a bout of insomnia and saw a "prosperity gospel" infomercial to receive a "prayer handkerchief".  Out of boredom and curiosity, she went ahead on their website to request for one since she really wanted to see what she would actually get.  What she received for a "handkerchief" was a piece of green construction paper with the image of Jesus Christ on it.  Along with this handkerchief was papers requesting for a donation.