FSTDT Forums

General Category => Forum Games => Topic started by: Random Guy on March 12, 2012, 06:09:47 am

Title: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 12, 2012, 06:09:47 am
Thought I'd add another popular internet game to the forum.

A huge vending machine stands before you! You can put in whatever you like and receive something else in return, usually related to whatever you put in.

Example:

Person 1: I insert a cow.

Person 2: You get a bottle of milk.
Person 2: I insert a meteor.

Person 3: You get a bunch of squished dinosaurs.
Person 3: I insert Rush Limbaugh.

Person 4: You get a steaming pile of bullshit. Er, I mean, you get Rush Limbaugh back. It's kind of hard to tell the difference.
Person 4: I insert a kitten.

and so on.

So I'll start by inserting a kitten.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on March 12, 2012, 08:05:36 am
You get the broken and bloody remains of a kitten you just forced through a vending machine. You asshole.

I insert my dick.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Podkayne on March 12, 2012, 12:31:50 pm
The broken and bloody remains of your dick you just forced through a vending machine.

A painting of a sailing ship being towed by steam tugs.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: QueenofHearts on March 12, 2012, 01:06:03 pm

A painting of a sailing ship being towed by steam tugs.

You get a painting of steam tugs being towed by sailing ships

I'll put in my cell phone.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Sleepy on March 12, 2012, 01:10:35 pm
You get Bieber's cell phone number.

I insert Kansas.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 12, 2012, 04:55:34 pm
A seemingly endless stream of corn, wheat, and soybeans pours out of the machine.

I insert the Bible.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Cerim Treascair on March 12, 2012, 04:59:58 pm
You get a list of books and previous mythos they ripped off, with footnotes and details.

I insert the legendarily bad Sonic 2006.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Eniliad on March 12, 2012, 05:13:15 pm
You get Sonic Unleashed.

I insert the Mona Lisa.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: gyeonghwa on March 12, 2012, 05:43:22 pm
You get several thesis about the meaning and significance of the Mona Lisa

I insert the UNESCO list of intangible cultural heritage.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 12, 2012, 06:06:41 pm
You get a list of "Places we should bulldoze for being eyesores and turn into hotels/casinos/oilfields/etc."
...It looks suspiciously similar to the list you just put in...

I insert my ex-girlfriend.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RavynousHunter on March 12, 2012, 06:45:36 pm
You get my brother's ex-girlfriend.  (Majorly overweight, dumber than a post, and married to a Mormon.)

I insert a TV.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ThunderWulf on March 12, 2012, 10:35:07 pm
You get a tv that plays nothing but Jerry Springer reruns.

I insert another vending machine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on March 12, 2012, 11:32:32 pm
You get the "yo dawg" guy (whatever the fuck his name is).

I insert a bag of cabbages.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Sleepy on March 13, 2012, 12:06:08 am
You get a bunch of dancing Irish folks.

I insert a white elephant.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on March 13, 2012, 12:30:06 am
You get the "yo dawg" guy (whatever the fuck his name is).

You're referring to Xzibit (http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/xzibit-yo-dawg), I assume?

Anyway...you get a stampede.

I insert a copy of Final Fantasy VII.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 13, 2012, 12:40:55 am
Lithp bursts out of the machine, hissing and snarling, "Ssstupid popular culture, you ruinnnsss it, gollum!"

I insert QueenofHearts.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on March 13, 2012, 01:22:33 am
You get Alice in Wonderland

I insert myself.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on March 13, 2012, 01:24:31 am
You get a small pile of feathers.

I insert $3.50.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on March 13, 2012, 02:23:31 am
You get 50 cents of it back in the change slot.

I insert a bottle of Mountain Dew.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: StallChaser on March 13, 2012, 08:00:41 am
You receive the same bottle filled with urine.

I insert the urine bottle back in.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on March 13, 2012, 08:07:26 am
You receive the empty bottle back and a picture of Bear Grylls.

I insert a garden hose.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on March 13, 2012, 03:45:58 pm
You receive the end of the same garden hose, which has now clogged up the machine.

I insert a vending machine repair man.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Eniliad on March 13, 2012, 05:54:46 pm
You get a sexier, studly repair guy.

I insert this image:

(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2276/2142443345_af150c18f9_o.jpg)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: QueenofHearts on March 13, 2012, 06:17:08 pm
Lithp bursts out of the machine, hissing and snarling, "Ssstupid popular culture, you ruinnnsss it, gollum!"

I insert QueenofHearts.

Wait, how did I get dragged into this?  ::)

And Eniliad gets Heavanly saké

And in this vending machine, I will put in Celine Dion

 ;D And post number 250  ;D

Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on March 13, 2012, 11:59:14 pm
You get the sunken remains of a suspiciously familiar cruise ship.

I insert a mushroom.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on March 14, 2012, 12:41:19 am
You get a Toad.

I insert Bowser.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on March 14, 2012, 05:05:01 am
You get Mario - and he has a very big spanner!

You insert the spanner.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on March 14, 2012, 07:28:20 pm
You get a rusty pipe.

I insert this clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3TqQ8seSPo
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on March 14, 2012, 11:12:00 pm
Pinkie Pie jumps out of the vending machine and cooks you into a cupcake.

I insert that cupcake.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on March 15, 2012, 02:12:43 am
You receive JumpingJackFlash back in pre-cupcake, non-baked form, but sans soul and totally evil. Sometimes baked is better, ayup.

I insert Stephen King.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on March 15, 2012, 04:50:57 am
You get the entire state of Maine.

I insert a 3DS.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: StallChaser on March 15, 2012, 04:59:39 am
The machine causes you to swap bodies with Stephen King, and spits out a note that tells you nobody must know of the swap, and you must meet Stephen King (now in your old body) in this exact location, exactly 5 years from now if you don't want the world to end.

You get a ninja whose mission is to kill you.

I insert a picture of Sonichu.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on March 15, 2012, 06:21:10 am
You get Christian Weston Chandler.

I insert an axe.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Sandafluffoid on March 15, 2012, 08:29:54 am
You get a grindstone (but no axe to grind on it)

I insert a pot full of really unpleasant muesli.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on March 15, 2012, 01:22:05 pm
You get a pot of alright uncooked instant oatmeal.

I insert a mirror.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on March 15, 2012, 08:20:46 pm
You get a rabbit with a pocketwatch

I insert Alistair from Dragon Age: Origins
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on March 15, 2012, 09:11:59 pm
You get a tank with abandonment issues.

I insert a horse.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on March 15, 2012, 09:39:55 pm
You get a tank with abandonment issues.

I insert a horse.

You get a strap-on the same size and shape of a horse wiener.

I insert a Prinny.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on March 16, 2012, 09:29:17 pm
You get Tyrant Overlord Baal in Prinny form.

I insert this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ga9YAMLGr6E
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on March 16, 2012, 10:11:02 pm
You receive an angry Mick Jagger.

I insert my arm.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on March 17, 2012, 06:15:59 am
You receive a severed arm-yours, naturally. (DUH!)

I insert this FSTDT quote. (http://www.fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=60847)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on March 17, 2012, 11:34:03 am
You get a Left Behind novel.


I insert my broken Nintendo Game Cube.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Sandafluffoid on March 18, 2012, 09:43:03 am
You get a broken Nintendo 64

I insert my blackened husk of a soul
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on March 18, 2012, 09:49:56 am
You get a fresh soul, polished to a pearly lustre.

I insert a sock.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Sleepy on March 18, 2012, 10:46:14 am
You get back a sock filled with severed penises that looks like this. (http://img545.imageshack.us/img545/4871/socki.png)

I insert a flower.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on March 18, 2012, 10:48:56 am
You get back a bunch of pollen you're allergic to.

I put in a small fiberglass rowboat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 18, 2012, 06:48:59 pm
You get a lot of exceptionally sharp splinters and the remains of an exploded sea mine.

I insert a large antimatter bomb.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on March 18, 2012, 07:36:10 pm
You receive an A-Bomb.

I insert SMILE.DOG
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on March 18, 2012, 07:37:51 pm
You get FROWN.CAT.

I insert a depth charge.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on March 18, 2012, 07:48:03 pm
You get a Depth Charge Transformers toy (http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Depth_Charge_(BW)).

I insert a soft-shell taco.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: gyeonghwa on March 18, 2012, 08:59:47 pm
You get that new Doritos taco that Taco Bell is promoting.

I insert something I shouldn't.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: QueenofHearts on March 18, 2012, 10:49:07 pm
You get something you deserve  ;)

(click to show/hide)

I insert a Pikachu plush doll
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on March 18, 2012, 10:49:57 pm
You get gyeonghwa.

I insert a blank check.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Cloudy on March 18, 2012, 10:56:02 pm
You a check for $1,000,000, however it's one of those giant novelty checks.

I insert my cat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on March 19, 2012, 12:41:05 am
You get a PETA member phoning Whine-One-One.

I insert Distind.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on March 19, 2012, 01:11:12 am
You get a banhammer.  Which is aimed at your head.

I insert ZZT (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR2ay7rvnNk).  Not to be confused with ZZ Top.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on March 19, 2012, 07:53:49 am
You get a DOSBox. Which is closed. And locked.

I insert a sprite.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on March 19, 2012, 02:17:54 pm
You get a model.

I insert the model.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ranger_Joe on March 19, 2012, 03:13:09 pm
You get a model.

I insert the model.

You get a replica.

I insert my Ranger Tab
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on March 19, 2012, 05:31:43 pm
You get a Red Ranger.

Ironbite-I insert a Power Crystal.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on March 19, 2012, 06:46:56 pm
You get a Protoss Pylon.

I insert Vespene Gas.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on March 19, 2012, 07:42:13 pm
You get a Firebat

Ironbite-I insert the Zeo Ultrazord.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RavynousHunter on March 20, 2012, 03:51:36 am
You get Voltron.

I insert a bag of holding.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on March 20, 2012, 06:52:50 am
You get a rift to the Astral Plane.

I insert a holy longsword +5.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on March 20, 2012, 07:33:40 pm
You get the Cursed Shield.

I insert a sunflower.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Sleepy on March 20, 2012, 07:39:13 pm
You get back this sunflower (http://www.epic1.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Sunflower-Talking-Head.jpg) that now wants to kill you.

I insert my eyelash.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on March 20, 2012, 08:35:15 pm
You get an eyeball.

Ironbite-I insert of ex.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 20, 2012, 09:23:37 pm
You get your ex. She looks pissed.

I insert a stegosaurus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on March 20, 2012, 09:45:33 pm
You get Julianne Moore with a camera (http://mtlhpep.fotocajon.com/2a4/c28/2a4c2824552d923e340db6f3a8cf77c4.jpg).

I insert my copy of The Order of the Stick: Dungeon Crawlin’ Fools.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 21, 2012, 02:02:33 am
You get a note written in extremely tiny print. Peering closer, you find that it reads: "I prepared Explosive Runes today."

I insert whatever is left of N. De Plume.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on March 21, 2012, 03:29:50 am
You receive a quill and a life sentence for murder.

I insert the entire Andromeda galaxy.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: QueenofHearts on March 21, 2012, 03:32:48 am
You receive a quill and a life sentence for murder.

I insert the entire Andromeda galaxy.

You get a milky way bar

I throw Glenn Beck's sorry ass into the machine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RavynousHunter on March 21, 2012, 05:19:56 am
You receive Glenn Beck's ass, and only his ass.

I insert forceps.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on March 21, 2012, 02:14:50 pm
You receive Glenn Beck's ass, and only his ass.

I insert forceps.

You get a crab's claw.  Peench.

I insert one of the minions from Despicable Me.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on March 21, 2012, 07:15:45 pm
You get a liiiiiight bulb!

I insert a chair.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on March 21, 2012, 07:43:37 pm
You get a toilet.

I insert a bottle of Brain Bleach.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on March 21, 2012, 08:41:10 pm
You receive the horrific lovechild of Goatse and Shitting Dick Nipples, along with a note that reads, "Bleach this, fucker."

I insert Vaginacart.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on March 21, 2012, 08:53:42 pm
You receive a Quiverfull wife.

I insert Plissken from Contra Rebirth
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RavynousHunter on March 22, 2012, 02:04:13 am
You get Snake Plissken from Escape From New York.

I insert Shizune from Katawa Shoujo.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on March 22, 2012, 06:20:11 am
You get Winry Rockbell - and I am very jealous...

I insert a Confederate $2 bill, in pristine condtion.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on March 22, 2012, 04:09:37 pm
You get a Confederate $2 bill, in absolute shoddy condition.

I insert Fern Gully.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on March 22, 2012, 06:50:34 pm
You get some Toxic Love.

I insert Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on March 22, 2012, 07:13:23 pm
You get Bowser with his eyes closed, who proceeds to kiss you on the cheek.  Lucky you. *envy glare*

I insert whatever the next person inserts :3
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 23, 2012, 06:18:55 am
You get a giant rift in the Time-Space Continuum.

I insert the aforementioned giant rift in the Time-Space Continuum like a boss.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on March 23, 2012, 06:28:03 am
You get Adam Warlock's evil persona, Magus.

Ironbite-I insert Gladiator of the Shi'Ar Guard.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on March 23, 2012, 07:21:46 am
You get Cosmo the telepathic space dog. Because Cosmo is cool.

I insert my glasses.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on March 23, 2012, 10:05:45 am
You get a monocle and a pile of broken glass fragments.

I insert a box of condoms.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on March 23, 2012, 01:09:25 pm
You get a monocle and a pile of broken glass fragments.

I insert a box of condoms.

You get a box of comically small condoms that all your prospective partners see.

I insert a well thumbed copy of So Long and Thanks for All the Fish by Douglass Addams.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on March 23, 2012, 02:07:56 pm
You get a monocle and a pile of broken glass fragments.

I insert a box of condoms.

You get a box of comically small condoms that all your prospective partners see.

I insert a well thumbed copy of So Long and Thanks for All the Fish by Douglass Addams.

Suddenly, dolphins rain down from the sky.  And you get a note from the vending machine that says "42".

I insert my wolf calendar that is apparently made by a Christian company
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on March 23, 2012, 08:16:05 pm
You get muslim wolves.

Ironbite-I insert a pig.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on March 23, 2012, 08:32:02 pm
You get a man ranting about how all policemen are corrupt thugs.

I insert 1:RICJj240cjawicjnp;rau9o08uvjh9wy02tvm
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Igor on March 23, 2012, 09:20:24 pm
You get missingno.

I insert my copy of House of Leaves
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Eniliad on March 25, 2012, 09:19:05 pm
You
Get
s          o          m          e

h
       a
              r
                 d
                  t
                 o

un
der
st
an
d.

I insert my computer.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on March 25, 2012, 10:18:48 pm
You get an abacus.

I insert a broken Sword of Dragon Laying +5
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on March 26, 2012, 01:04:34 am
You get a +5 Shortsword of Dragon Sexing.

Ironbite-I insert Mitt Romney
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on March 26, 2012, 01:44:09 am
You give a pile of money covered in an even bigger pile of bullshit.

I insert the city of Adelaide, South Australia.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on March 26, 2012, 03:37:06 am
You get an indigenous population and some social problems.

I insert an empty Guinness can.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on March 26, 2012, 07:10:48 am
You get the Guinness that used to be in the can. But no can to carry it in.

I insert a buste VCR.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: MadCatTLX on March 26, 2012, 08:20:06 am
You get the Guinness that used to be in the can. But no can to carry it in.

I insert a buste VCR.

You get a busted Betamax player.

I insert a rainbow.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on March 26, 2012, 06:44:36 pm
You get the Guinness that used to be in the can. But no can to carry it in.

I insert a buste VCR.

You get a busted Betamax player.

I insert a rainbow.

You get the lovechild of Rainbow Dash and Derpy Hooves.

I insert both Spike from Buffy and Spike from MLPFIM
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on March 26, 2012, 06:52:32 pm
You get Bowser


I insert all of my Beatles albums
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on March 26, 2012, 08:34:12 pm
You get a White Walrus eating a Glass Onion.

I insert my ruined non-stick grill pan.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RavynousHunter on March 26, 2012, 09:15:03 pm
You get a pan made of dried, used chewing gum.

I insert another vending machine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Sleepy on March 26, 2012, 09:19:38 pm
You get back a thank-you note, signed by the original vending machine.

I insert my professors.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on March 26, 2012, 09:55:22 pm
You get back a thank-you note, signed by the original vending machine.

I insert my professors.

You get a D-

I insert some grass (the kind that makes up a lawn).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on March 27, 2012, 02:45:26 am
You get a haystacki.

I insert 42.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on March 27, 2012, 08:16:45 pm
You get The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

I insert the Excalipoor.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RavynousHunter on March 27, 2012, 09:28:12 pm
You get Excalibat.

I insert Cujo.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on March 27, 2012, 09:45:18 pm
You get Rabies.

I insert a leather jacket.

You get a pan made of dried, used chewing gum.

Hey, it will probably work better than my pan did. I’ll take that.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on March 28, 2012, 05:03:21 am
You get a kick ass female terminator with a scary robot face.

I insert a hairy caterpillar.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Sleepy on March 28, 2012, 09:24:16 am
You get back a hungry, hungry caterpillar.

I insert my nostril.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: QueenofHearts on March 28, 2012, 10:13:28 am
You get Sunshine In a Bag

I insert a soccer ball
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Smurfette Principle on March 28, 2012, 01:40:14 pm
You get an angry soccer fan whose team has just lost the World Cup.

I insert a Pepto Bismol tablet.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on March 28, 2012, 02:21:51 pm
You get nausea, heartburn, upset stomach, indigestion, and diarrhea.

I insert CreepyUncannyValleyHuman!Beast from Beauty and the Beast into the vending machine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on March 28, 2012, 02:34:54 pm
You get SCP-682 and he's not looking to happy.

Ironbite-I insert SCP-076-1
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on March 31, 2012, 09:25:05 pm
You get SCP-076-2.

I insert SCP-4445
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on March 31, 2012, 10:18:37 pm
You get a fist to the face...in 5 years.

Ironbite-I insert an Ark of the Covenant.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on April 01, 2012, 11:13:42 am
You get a melted face and a few shards of skull.

I insert a Fluttershy toy.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Radiation on April 01, 2012, 12:59:05 pm
You get a melted face and a few shards of skull.

I insert a Fluttershy toy.

You get an angry Fluttershy

I insert a nuclear rod.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on April 02, 2012, 04:36:36 am
You get a Fatman Bomb (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fat_Man).

I insert a duckroll.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on April 03, 2012, 10:04:46 am
You get the duckroll back - with a supercharger, a full set of hydraulics on each wheel, 20 inch rims, a butane injector on the exhaust and a funky purple stripe down the side.

I insert a copy of War and Peace in Esperanto. (Mi enmeti kopion de Milito kaj Paco en esperanto.)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on April 03, 2012, 03:53:35 pm
You get the libraries of Alexandria.

I insert Pizza
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on April 03, 2012, 08:49:45 pm
You get an angry Flying Spaghetti Monster.

I insert a bunny.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on April 03, 2012, 10:38:21 pm
You get a bunny and its litter.

I insert The Pale Man (http://www.google.com/search?q=The+Pale+Man&hl=en&client=opera&hs=mub&rls=en&channel=suggest&prmd=imvns&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=BLR7T6SdC4qjgweU2Mz3Ag&ved=0CDMQsAQ&biw=1092&bih=646).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on April 04, 2012, 12:34:13 am
You get Jim Gaffigan and Conan the Pale Force
(http://www.blogcdn.com/www.aoltv.com/media/2006/10/paleforcedf.jpg)

I insert Pinky and the Brain
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on April 04, 2012, 02:31:13 am
You get Beavis and Butthead **snigger snigger snigger snigger**

I insert the Plimsoll line.

Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on April 15, 2012, 07:13:51 pm
You get a land mine.

I insert a cow.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on April 15, 2012, 08:07:02 pm
Milk pours forth from the output slot, staining your feet.

I insert SCP-682.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on April 15, 2012, 09:38:17 pm
You get pain and death as 682 comes back out of the output slot all pissed off.

Ironbite-I insert TNA Wrestling.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on April 16, 2012, 01:40:29 am
You get this guy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qKcJF4fOPs).

I insert the Starship Enterprise (the original NCC-1701)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on April 16, 2012, 06:50:37 am
You get the Enterprise from the reboot, lens flares and all. Which, of course, is the original NCC-1701 in that alternate universe.

I insert a faaake!
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Deus ex Populo on April 16, 2012, 02:33:53 pm
You get a pissed-off Romulan.

I insert a hammer and sickle.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Smurfette Principle on April 16, 2012, 08:10:20 pm
You get zombie Stalin.

I insert Vitamin D.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on April 16, 2012, 08:14:21 pm
You get Sunshine!

I insert The Moon!
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on April 16, 2012, 09:20:18 pm
You get Sailor NightMare Moon.

I insert Fern Gully
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Smurfette Principle on April 17, 2012, 01:25:41 am
You get crazy, badly-articulated environmentalism.

I put in my teddy bear with the Virginia state quarter on its foot.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on April 17, 2012, 05:31:24 am
You get a Confederate $2 bill with a curious, unpleasantly odored stain on it. You take it to Rick Harrison, but he's not interested, however Chumlee ogles you.

I insert a sagger maker's bottom knocker.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on April 24, 2012, 01:15:22 pm
You get a 1950's classical game show prize.

I insert a red hot chili pepper
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Sleepy on April 24, 2012, 02:29:55 pm
You get back what initially appears to be snow (hey oh). You later discover it is cocaine.

I insert Barney.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on April 24, 2012, 04:33:24 pm
You get the half-eaten limb of a child that once was on Barney the Dinosaur's television show.

I insert Barney Rubble.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on April 24, 2012, 04:58:48 pm
You get Fruity Pebbles

I insert a Chainsword from Warhammer 40K.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on April 30, 2012, 11:27:17 am
You get a set of knitting needles, a ball of wool and an instruction booklet - How To Knit An Abrams Tank.

I insert some pie.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on April 30, 2012, 06:34:01 pm
You get 3.14 slices.

I insert a taco.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on April 30, 2012, 06:41:43 pm
You get Yasmeen Bleeth.

Ironbite-I insert the movie Game Over.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on May 01, 2012, 03:10:57 am
You get an unattached Director's Commentary from an early Spinal Tap DVD.

I insert a pneumosphigmanometer. (Look it up...)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on May 01, 2012, 05:20:01 am
You receive a printout of a Google page reading, "Your search - pneumosphigmanometer - did not match any documents", and an attached photo of me giving you the finger.

I insert the entire nation of India.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on May 01, 2012, 05:24:05 am
You get a call center worker with very questionable personal hygiene .

I insert a used condom.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on May 01, 2012, 10:15:37 am
You get a latex baby.

I insert Mlle Antéchrist's finger - very carefully!

(Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr - I typoed in my previous - should have been pneumosphygmomanometer - that is lookupable!)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on May 03, 2012, 09:54:09 am
You get her fist moving very fast.

I insert a baby doll.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 03, 2012, 02:50:38 pm
You get a poopy diaper.

I insert Ronald E. Williams
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on May 04, 2012, 02:23:20 am
You get bling. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronald_%22Slim%22_Williams

I insert Sir Lints-A-Lot.

Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Smurfette Principle on May 07, 2012, 07:29:52 pm
You get a suit of armor made of lint.

I put in chocolate pudding with gummy worms.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on May 07, 2012, 11:09:15 pm
You get a suit of armor made of lint.

I put in chocolate pudding with gummy worms.

You get vanilla pudding with real worms

I insert Discord.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on May 08, 2012, 02:59:24 am
You get Harmony - but it is jaded...

I insert the Da Da manifesto.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on May 08, 2012, 07:16:34 pm
You get the communist manifesto.

I insert a my blood, sweat and tears.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on May 08, 2012, 08:05:02 pm
You get a painted pony on the Spinning Wheel Ride.

I insert my laundry.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on May 08, 2012, 09:18:22 pm
You get nothing in return!  Have fun being naked!

I insert mashed potatoes.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on May 08, 2012, 09:24:21 pm
You get a plain golden ring and a sense of foreboding doom.

I insert Excalibur from Soul Eater
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on May 08, 2012, 10:02:38 pm
You get nothing in return!  Have fun being naked!

Oh, don’t you know I will!

I insert Excalibur from Soul Eater

You get Excalibur from Arthurian Legend.

I insert a frozen pizza.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ThunderWulf on May 08, 2012, 10:27:52 pm
You get a cardboard pizza box with no pizza.

I put in a guitar.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 08, 2012, 11:21:26 pm
You get a battleaxe [rimshot]

I insert Jesse Lee Petersen http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/08/jesse-lee-peterson-fox-news-womens-rights-voting_n_1501070.html (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/08/jesse-lee-peterson-fox-news-womens-rights-voting_n_1501070.html)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on May 09, 2012, 03:52:58 am
You get Germaine Greer.

I insert Scoobert 'Scooby' Doo.

Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on May 09, 2012, 04:58:18 pm
You get a guy wearing a bedsheet ghost outfit.

I insert the Giant Space Turtle that carries the Earth on its back.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on May 09, 2012, 06:24:56 pm
You get the Giant Space Turtle that Carries the Giant Space Turtle that Carries the Earth on its Back. (Turtles all the way down, mate.)

I insert a glass of grape juice.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on May 09, 2012, 08:14:20 pm
You get a black person who gives you a glass of grape drank.

Ironbite-I insert a Cell Medal from Kamen Rider OOO
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on May 10, 2012, 02:48:46 am
You get a Core Medal and an additional three million combos.

I insert a roller skating penguin superglued onto the back of a Rastafarian mountain gorilla who is learning to play the cello.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 10, 2012, 12:14:17 pm
You get an alien ninja playing the bongos with a pirate dolphin who works as a barber on the side.

I insert My Immortal (The Harry Potter fanfic, specifically)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Sleepy on May 10, 2012, 01:08:18 pm
You get back four students going sexily to Potions class.

I insert a tampon.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on May 10, 2012, 05:51:39 pm
You get menses. Lots of menses.

I insert the key to my car.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on May 10, 2012, 06:08:07 pm
You unlock the vending machine, and it is full of stars.

I insert a mage's staff from Dragon Age: Origins
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on May 11, 2012, 04:34:42 am
You got a fireball to the face.

I insert this gameplay clip (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oejVEBEmzp4).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on May 12, 2012, 10:32:22 pm
You get frostbite!

I insert the Swedish Chef.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on May 12, 2012, 11:27:02 pm
Yousa getsy somma yoomy göbbely gobbems! Bork bork bork!

I insert The Great Gonzo.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on May 14, 2012, 03:02:34 am
You get, somewhat inevitably, a multitude of chickens!

Yoda I insert.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on May 14, 2012, 04:24:28 am
You get an angry Grammar Nazi.

I insert the Tarrasque.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 14, 2012, 06:39:40 pm
You get a the Tarrasque's foot coming down on your head.

I insert Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on May 14, 2012, 07:55:08 pm
Get the charred remains of Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.

Ironbite-I insert SPC-045
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on May 15, 2012, 02:34:01 am
You get Lugia.

I insert a copy of Sonic '06.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 15, 2012, 10:07:48 am
You get a steaming pile of dog shit.

I insert Dracula.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on May 15, 2012, 04:32:47 pm
You get an extremely confused - and very human - Vlad the Impaler

I put in a ten foot pole made of balsa wood
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 15, 2012, 04:57:45 pm
What you get cannot be said in polite company, but it sounds kind of like phoenix, and is ten feet long.

I insert a crab omelette.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ThunderWulf on May 15, 2012, 07:43:44 pm
You get alien crabs.

I insert space beer.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Spong Habsburg on May 18, 2012, 11:50:32 am
You get alien crabs.

I insert space beer.

You get space beer shits.

I insert a nice bit of falafel.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on May 18, 2012, 08:03:15 pm
You get Fawful, the grammatically-challenged Mario villain

I insert the entire Westboro Baptist Church. Not any of the people - the physical church itself.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 18, 2012, 08:30:46 pm
You get a different suburban household.

I insert the WBC website http://www.godhatesfags.com/index.html (http://www.godhatesfags.com/index.html)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RavynousHunter on May 18, 2012, 09:46:50 pm
You get an amalgam of Stormfront, Conservapedia, and Rapture Ready.

I insert Hanako. (http://blog.catzie.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Katawa-Shoujo-Walkthrough-Hanako.jpg)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Sleepy on May 19, 2012, 01:48:18 pm
You get back an angry Hisao who wants to club you for potentially hurting her.

I insert Spyro the dragon.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 19, 2012, 04:28:28 pm
You get three of him. You are only allowed to like one. You must hate the other two with a burning passion.

I insert Yahoo Answers.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on May 19, 2012, 07:46:21 pm
You get a babby.

I insert a swimming pool full of semen.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Deus ex Populo on May 19, 2012, 08:41:32 pm
The machine gives you a look of confused disgust and gives you a swimming pool full of pollen.

I insert the swimming pool full of pollen.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on May 20, 2012, 06:51:37 am
The machine spits a pool-load of semen at you.

I insert YTMND.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on May 20, 2012, 08:07:29 pm
You get a paper with this link written on it: http://lindsaylohannekkid.ytmnd.com/

I insert back the paper.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 20, 2012, 08:16:05 pm
You get this: http://chiyodadcongress.ytmnd.com/ (http://chiyodadcongress.ytmnd.com/)

I insert the Time Cube website.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on May 22, 2012, 04:18:44 am
You get a glob of wibbly wobbly timey wimey.

I insert a penguin turd embedded in a lump of lard.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on May 22, 2012, 05:49:27 am
You get a polished Prinny statue...made out of turd. Shiny, but really stinks.

I insert a CD containing the song "Auld Lang Syne".
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on May 22, 2012, 12:48:32 pm
You get a bunch of drunken parents. Including yours.

I insert 1 metric ton of aspirin.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 22, 2012, 01:23:50 pm
You get a headache... and the machine isn't gonna give the aspirin back to you anytime soon.

I insert the book of Revelation.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on May 22, 2012, 02:21:15 pm
You get a headache... and the machine isn't gonna give the aspirin back to you anytime soon.

I insert the book of Revelation.

You get this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bDg7n-chhU

I insert a Double Saber from Phantasy Star Online
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on May 22, 2012, 08:57:02 pm
You get cut in half by the top half of Darth Maul.

I insert all the worlds bibles
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 22, 2012, 09:02:07 pm
You get a fundie preacher.

I insert Cave Johnson.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on May 22, 2012, 10:50:00 pm
You get a combustible lemon powered by a homicidal AI.

I insert the combustible lemon.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 22, 2012, 10:54:13 pm
You get a can of Conversion Gel.

I insert the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on May 22, 2012, 11:37:33 pm
You get Chell.

I insert a CD...containing really sick erotica.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on May 23, 2012, 12:20:21 pm
You get two naked women who proceed to do things that make you vomit.

I put in a nuclear explosion.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 23, 2012, 01:09:52 pm
You get war, and as you know: war, war never changes.

I insert the Space Core from Portal 2.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on May 23, 2012, 02:52:05 pm
You get war, and as you know: war, war never changes.

I insert the Space Core from Portal 2.

Fact: You get the Fact Core, who is always 100% Correct.

I insert Ulfric Stormcloak from Skyrim
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Keiro Dreamwalker on May 23, 2012, 03:34:52 pm
You get General Tullius screaming in your face and demanding your head.

I insert a ball of fucks.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on May 23, 2012, 11:08:28 pm
You get General Tullius screaming in your face and demanding your head.

I insert a ball of fucks.

You get an achievement: "Gave a fuck."

I insert the Medic from Team Fortress 2 and one of those war nuns from Warhammer 40k
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ThunderWulf on May 23, 2012, 11:26:46 pm
You get an invincible robot lady.

I insert some family photos.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on May 24, 2012, 02:53:25 am
You get the photos back, framed. However, the photos have been inserted in the frames ass backwards. You need to go to the 'wishes will be corrupted' thread to sort this out.

I insert a recording of the Ying Tong Song.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on May 24, 2012, 05:10:51 pm
You get a member of the Chinese Tongs.

I put in the vending machine
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Keiro Dreamwalker on May 24, 2012, 05:41:13 pm
You get a miniaturized vending machine.

I insert a pile of green cloth suspicously looking like dollars of various denominations. (Not actual money)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ThunderWulf on May 24, 2012, 07:49:04 pm
You get Monopoly money.

I insert a gargoyle.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RavynousHunter on May 24, 2012, 08:06:32 pm
You get a weeping angel.

I insert Sleepy.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on May 26, 2012, 06:18:37 am
You get sunshine in a bag. You promptly yell "Fuck Yes!" upon doing so.

I insert a copy of this game. (http://www.gamefaqs.com/ds/955859-pokemon-mystery-dungeon-explorers-of-sky)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 26, 2012, 09:52:40 am
You get nightmares. Horrible, horrible nightmares.

I insert this game: http://store.steampowered.com/app/70400/ (http://store.steampowered.com/app/70400/)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on May 26, 2012, 04:22:12 pm
You get infinite Phoenix Downs.

I insert a Whopper from Burger King.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ThunderWulf on May 26, 2012, 08:59:56 pm
You get Big Mac with a giant turd on it.

I insert the nectar of the gods (aka IBC root beer).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: jumpingjackflash on May 27, 2012, 01:03:22 am
You get a cup of Starbucks coffee.

I insert Pokemon Conquest...or at least, a gameplay pic of it.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on May 28, 2012, 01:28:12 am
You get a Pokeball.

I insert myself.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on May 28, 2012, 04:21:35 am
You get yourself back, minus a few important parts.

I insert an airline bag full of vomit which has been heated in a microwave oven alongside a plate of curried sheep testicles and some fish-rat pie.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ThunderWulf on May 28, 2012, 12:56:21 pm
You get a dish with every food in the world mixed together.

I insert every metal cd in the world.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on May 28, 2012, 01:49:18 pm
You get Ronnie James Dio.

I insert a flag from Medieval Times
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 28, 2012, 02:19:32 pm
You get a very innacurate history book. Kind of like the kind fundies are homeschooled with.

I insert A Dream Greater Than Stardom by Jasmine Baucham http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2011/09/the-stay-at-home-daughters-a-dream-greater-than-stardom.html (http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2011/09/the-stay-at-home-daughters-a-dream-greater-than-stardom.html)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on May 29, 2012, 02:38:02 am
You get a visit from a delegation from WBC.

I insert a slightly confused mollusc.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on May 29, 2012, 07:03:53 am
You get a moderately clear-headed crustacean.

I insert a box of multi-grain cereal.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on May 29, 2012, 07:41:53 am
You get a moderately clear-headed crustacean.

I insert a box of multi-grain cereal.

You get cardboard shavings.

I insert Yang from Final Fantasy 4, Sabin from Final Fantasy 6, Tifa from Final Fantasy 7, Zell from Final Fantasy 8, Amaranth from Final fantasy 9, Rikku from Final Fantasy X, and then throw in Kimahri from Final Fantasy X for variety.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on May 29, 2012, 08:14:57 am
The vending machine is totaly confused and you get Papa Smurf.

I insert pi (as in 3.14158 etc., etc.).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on May 29, 2012, 02:59:56 pm
You get The Pi Song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqpWETqoD5Q)

I insert The Lion King.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on May 29, 2012, 03:47:43 pm
You get a guy who comes out screaming "NANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABANants ingonyama bagithi Baba!"

Ironbite-I insert a Deck of Many Things.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on May 30, 2012, 06:20:46 pm
You get a guy who comes out screaming "NANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABANants ingonyama bagithi Baba!"

Ironbite-I insert a Deck of Many Things.

You get a Tarot Card pack, with every card being "The Fool"

I insert Arnold from Hey Arnold
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 30, 2012, 07:14:26 pm
You get a football.

I insert some Ahi-Dijon Jicama Dickables http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-H1JTWXhKU (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-H1JTWXhKU)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on May 31, 2012, 11:33:22 am
You get a hot debate concerning the practice of using the precise middle of a Youtube video for determining the thumbnail.

I insert a doohickey.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 31, 2012, 12:17:55 pm
You get a thingamajig.

I insert an Aerial Faith Plate.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: TigerHunter on June 01, 2012, 01:19:01 am
You get a trampoline.

I insert SCP-914 (http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-914).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on June 01, 2012, 09:22:28 am
You get a clock tower.

I insert your mom.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ThunderWulf on June 01, 2012, 09:38:41 am
You get a bad knee.

I insert some iced green tea.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on June 01, 2012, 08:46:50 pm
You get green eggs and ham.

I insert my headache
Title: Re: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Keiro Dreamwalker on June 02, 2012, 06:16:33 pm
You get green eggs and ham.

I insert my headache

You get gnomes hammering on your skull.

I insert a Greyhound blue bus. (Power and Wifi included on those buses)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Jack Bauer on June 02, 2012, 06:50:53 pm
You get a broken down Continental Trailways bus.

I insert two fingers of Jack Daniels.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on June 02, 2012, 11:13:26 pm
You get a hung over guy

I insert my entire Warhammer 40k collection
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ThunderWulf on June 03, 2012, 11:24:15 am
You get a super powered space marine.

I insert my Cerberus figurine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on June 04, 2012, 02:16:15 am
You get the real Cerberus, who promptly bites you.

I insert my foot.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on June 04, 2012, 10:33:51 am
You get Athlete's Foot.

I insert Ash Crimson.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RavynousHunter on June 04, 2012, 04:40:34 pm
You get Ash Ketchum.

I insert Brock Samson.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on June 04, 2012, 06:10:21 pm
You get Brock Lesner

Ironbite-I insert Paul Heyman.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on June 06, 2012, 01:19:05 pm
You get Paul Bunyan.

I insert the RNC.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on June 06, 2012, 02:27:17 pm
You get the RCC.

I insert Ultros from Final Fantasy VI
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on June 06, 2012, 03:36:18 pm
You get a very confused Sephiroth.

I insert John Williams.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on June 08, 2012, 05:06:33 pm
You get a piano back

I insert the corpse of Rick James
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on June 09, 2012, 04:03:27 pm
You get it back, now a zombie. Your brains are promptly devoured.

I insert a rocket ship piloted by dinosaurs.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Her3tiK on June 10, 2012, 12:19:11 am
You get an out-of-control spacecraft full of giant lizards.

I insert movie tickets.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Osama bin Bambi on June 10, 2012, 01:17:26 am
You get horrible popcorn.

I insert a crow feather.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on June 10, 2012, 08:40:09 am
You get a flying elephant. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dumbo)

I insert Captain Malcolm Reynolds (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malcolm_Reynolds).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on June 11, 2012, 04:45:16 am
You get a firefly named Serenity.

I insert Pathfinder's Bard class.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on June 11, 2012, 12:13:46 pm
You get a jester.

I insert my copy of System Shock 2.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on June 11, 2012, 01:59:49 pm
You get a creepy supercomputer with a god(dess) complex.

I insert this emoticon:  :)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on June 11, 2012, 02:59:10 pm
You get a punch to the balls.

I insert a desk lamp.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Her3tiK on June 11, 2012, 04:23:05 pm
You get covered in glass and ceramic shards.

I insert a kitten.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on June 11, 2012, 07:21:49 pm
You get a LOL Cat

I insert a time machine
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on June 11, 2012, 07:27:20 pm
You get David Tennant back.

I insert my old SNES.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on June 11, 2012, 08:29:04 pm
You get Bowser flying a giant clown head.

I insert a steam locomotive.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on June 11, 2012, 08:47:12 pm
You get the Zeroliner.

Ironbite-I insert Tensou Sentai Goseiger.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on June 11, 2012, 10:07:52 pm
You get a couple of atom bombs.

I insert Messerschmitt-262.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Undecided on June 20, 2012, 12:12:29 am
You get a working portable ion thruster.

I insert an 8in 80kb floppy disc decorated with arcane symbols, a punch card with coffee stains on it and a check from Don Knuth.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on June 20, 2012, 12:30:50 am
You get a Commodore 64.

I insert the Ark of the Covenant.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on June 20, 2012, 06:32:30 am
You get a a head with its face melted off.

I insert David Bowie.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: SpaceProg on June 20, 2012, 06:49:44 am
You get a he is a she and all the coloured girls go doo doo doo...
I insert ROCK and ROLL!
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on June 20, 2012, 08:58:13 am
You get Megaman

I insert the Concrete Donkey
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on June 21, 2012, 06:56:22 pm
You get Shrek and Donkey.

I insert The Iron Throne
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on June 21, 2012, 07:09:42 pm
You get Iron Man

I insert My Immortal (the fanfic, not the band)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Sleepy on June 21, 2012, 08:30:14 pm
You get two students going sexily to Potionz class.

I insert a bunch of porn stars.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on June 21, 2012, 09:10:37 pm
You get a bunch of Pawn Stars.

I insert a pun.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Witchyjoshy on June 22, 2012, 04:26:12 am
You get a bunch of Pawn Stars.

I insert a pun.

You get a sarcastic quip

I insert a Pathfinder Monster Manual
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on June 22, 2012, 06:58:36 am
You get a disgruntled red dragon carrying a copy of Pathfinder Bestiary 2.

I insert Shinji Ikari (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on June 22, 2012, 09:23:52 am
You get a bunch of whining.

I insert the Animal King Turret from Portal 2.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on June 23, 2012, 04:33:49 am
You get a large number of dead politicians. They appear to have been sat on.

I insert the machine into itself.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on June 23, 2012, 09:26:11 am
You get a copy of Inception on DVD

I insert Dr. Tran.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on July 18, 2012, 03:09:58 pm
You get a cup of hickory smoked horse buttholes.

I insert Oregon.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Hades on July 18, 2012, 04:59:50 pm
You get dysentery.

Insert Tom from Myspace.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on July 18, 2012, 06:57:07 pm
You get a bloody knife with Mark Zuckerberg's fingerprints all over it.

I insert a penguin with a machine gun.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on July 18, 2012, 08:03:15 pm
You get a bloody orca riddled with bullet holes.

I insert a NOAA weather alert radio.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on July 19, 2012, 05:33:11 pm
You get an F6 tornado.

I insert Moammar Gaddafi (may his spellings be many).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RinellaWasHere on July 23, 2012, 12:45:47 am
You get a small bottle of Distilled Batshittery (Cherry Flavored).

I insert my hippocampus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on July 23, 2012, 02:00:31 am
You get a full copy of your brain.


I insert my pug Bosco.

Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RinellaWasHere on July 23, 2012, 02:12:17 am
You get Rosco, who looks a lot like Bosco but has Groucho Marx glasses on.

I insert smarm.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on July 24, 2012, 10:06:54 pm
You get the Smoky Mountain Area Rescue Ministry whose Purpose is to Rescue the Poor and Needy in the Smoky Mountain Area by Providing Recovery Services in Jesus' Name.

I insert a chocolate, banana and peanut butter protein shake.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on July 25, 2012, 03:53:37 am
You get a banana, a Hershey's bar, and a jar of unsalted peanuts.

I insert a lit stick of dynamite.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on July 25, 2012, 05:00:43 am
You get the same lit stick of dynamite back, with the fuse being significantly burned d-KABOOM.

I insert my invisible friend Bob.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on July 25, 2012, 01:47:23 pm
You get his invisible sister Sally. Who proceeds to have sex with you.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on August 01, 2012, 09:29:27 pm
You get what you put in, nothing. 

Then I cut you in line and insert a gold medal.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Sleepy on August 01, 2012, 09:31:03 pm
You get a horde of angry Olympic athletes.

I insert a panda.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Undecided on August 01, 2012, 10:31:20 pm
You get a dog that is dyed to look like a panda.

I put in a sea star.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on August 02, 2012, 01:44:47 pm
You get the Pokemon shaped like a sea star whose name escapes me at this moment.


I insert all my Shins albums.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on August 03, 2012, 03:21:36 pm
You get your own shin. Which you then realize is no longer attached to your body.

I insert Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: N. De Plume on August 03, 2012, 05:36:08 pm
You get one fucked up Europe.

I insert 20 mg famotidine (a stomach acid reducer).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RinellaWasHere on August 03, 2012, 06:35:23 pm
You get 40 mg fatomidine, a stomach acid externalizer. (I may or may not have failed chem.)

I insert Spider-man.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on August 03, 2012, 07:51:55 pm
You get a socially awkward teen named Peter Parker


I insert Tony Stark.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on August 03, 2012, 08:11:08 pm
YOu get a box of scraps.

Ironbite-I insert Kate Upton
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on August 04, 2012, 01:28:43 am
You get Kate Downton, a very confused DMV manager from Topeka

I insert Miles' parents
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RinellaWasHere on August 04, 2012, 01:37:41 am
You get Kilometer's parents. They're hippies.

I insert burritos.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 04, 2012, 02:10:59 am
You get one HUGE burrito back, and everything tastes so much better than before, but the peppers were replaced with Ghost Peppers and you are now breathing fire.

I insert a dopefish.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RinellaWasHere on August 04, 2012, 02:33:08 am
You get a popefish. It's a popefish.

I insert ghost chilis.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on August 08, 2012, 08:43:35 pm
You get the ghosts of the ghost chili. They don't do much.

I insert Zeus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on August 08, 2012, 10:34:27 pm
You get an electrified Bill Clinton.

I insert wepon.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 09, 2012, 05:11:30 pm
You get a zombie goast.

I insert DogmasDemise.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on August 09, 2012, 05:28:17 pm
You get a body without a brain

I insert this cute Vietnamese boy I meet at school.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 09, 2012, 07:15:40 pm
There is a lot of screaming from inside the machine, which eventually gives you a bloody corpse. Nice going there.

I insert the Bible.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on August 09, 2012, 10:40:32 pm
You get a bunch of stones thrown at you for some arbitrary reason.

I insert Evony
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on August 10, 2012, 10:23:25 pm
You get a large breasted woman.

I insert a large breasted woman.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RinellaWasHere on August 11, 2012, 03:20:00 pm
You get a woman breasted large.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on August 12, 2012, 04:12:43 am
You get a black hole.

I insert love.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on August 12, 2012, 09:14:09 am
You receive an error message in the form of a Haddaway song.

I insert the entire populous of Canada.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on August 13, 2012, 03:19:39 am
You get a very angry moose.

I convince a drunk Newt Gingrich to stick his penis into the vending machine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Deus ex Populo on August 13, 2012, 05:48:44 am
You get a sapient dildo with Newt's personality.

I insert a bottled-up genie.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on August 13, 2012, 11:31:32 am
You get the Fisher King.

I insert a 2X4.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Osama bin Bambi on August 13, 2012, 02:17:41 pm
You get woodchips.

I insert your mom.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Alehksunos on August 13, 2012, 04:42:38 pm
You receive sub-par jokes.

I insert some Popsicle sticks with jokes inscribed on them.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Veras on August 13, 2012, 05:25:23 pm
You get Wykked's mom and Rookie's 2x4.

I insert killer whale.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RinellaWasHere on August 13, 2012, 05:28:02 pm
You get one can of Orca-brand Shark Repellent (Endorsed by 1 out of 1 Bat-Themed Superheroes!).

I insert TV's Adam West.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on August 13, 2012, 09:18:27 pm
You get Bat-Shark-Repellent

I insert a zombie goast
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 14, 2012, 04:03:29 am
You get a police officer, but HE IS HEADCRAB ZOMBIE!

I insert a live Archaeopteryx.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Veras on August 14, 2012, 11:21:47 am
You get a pint of freshly-squeezed, pulp-free Archaeopteryx Juice.

I insert a lump of coal.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on August 14, 2012, 11:48:18 am
You get a diamond.

I insert one of the pearls my avatar is holding.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on August 14, 2012, 12:58:26 pm
You get very high. [BA-DUM TISH]

I insert some dead pants.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 19, 2012, 10:13:31 pm
You get some live underwear.

I insert Barney the Purple Dinosaur.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on August 20, 2012, 02:40:36 am
You get Barney Rubble and Dino.

I insert an Elder Scroll.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on August 20, 2012, 10:48:01 am
You get moths.

Ironbite-I insert Mitt Romney
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RinellaWasHere on August 20, 2012, 12:51:43 pm
You get the "Real Mitt Romney" remix.

I insert insertion.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on August 20, 2012, 01:31:38 pm
You get ejection.

I insert an ax.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 20, 2012, 07:15:05 pm
You get a sword and a bow.

I insert the Necronomicon.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: StallChaser on August 20, 2012, 08:36:29 pm
You receive a bottle of liquid labeled "Ash's Zombie Drink"

I insert a Canadian $100 bill.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on August 20, 2012, 08:39:24 pm
You get $100 of every currency real and fictional.

I insert leather armor
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 21, 2012, 12:05:44 am
You get an angry PETA member.

I insert a giant squid.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on August 21, 2012, 05:35:19 pm
You get a giant ink sack(Yay minecraft!)

I insert the God Entity from Futurama
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on August 21, 2012, 08:25:59 pm
You get pulled into the vending the machine and frozen 'til the year 3000.

I insert my laundry
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Veras on August 22, 2012, 01:23:36 pm
You get all of the dirt and sweat that was on your clothes.

I insert 314 pieces of pie.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: StallChaser on August 23, 2012, 04:34:16 am
You receive a spherical cake.  It is delicious.

I insert Wolf Link.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on August 23, 2012, 04:40:31 am
You get Midna

I insert They Might Be Giants
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 23, 2012, 05:06:17 am
You get an actual giant straight out of Norse mythology. You might want to run.

I insert a platypus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on August 23, 2012, 05:18:18 am
You get a secret agent

I insert Mara (as portrayed in Shin Megami Tensei)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 23, 2012, 09:23:40 pm
You get Mara Jade, from the Star Wars Expanded Universe.

I insert my soul.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Veras on August 25, 2012, 04:16:35 pm
You get a claim check from Satan

I insert a bug zapper
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Normandy on August 25, 2012, 11:30:40 pm
You get a statue of Zeus.

I insert my laptop.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on August 26, 2012, 09:41:24 pm
You get a 1984 Apple II

I insert my neighbors small yappy dog.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on August 28, 2012, 09:01:13 am
You get a covered plate of freshly-cooked dog meat, with a note addressed to your neighbor, from their dog.

I insert General George McLellan.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 30, 2012, 04:28:14 am
You get Ulysses s. Grant. He's extremely drunk and ranting about crazy nonsense.

I insert Ayn Rand.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on August 31, 2012, 11:40:04 am
You get a signed copy of Atlas Shrugged.

I insert George R.R. Martin.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on September 05, 2012, 09:02:33 am
You get J. R. R. Tolkien.

I insert a kitten.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on September 07, 2012, 08:46:57 am
You get a tiger. Have fun!

I insert C.S. Lewis
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Normandy on September 16, 2012, 04:16:13 pm
You get a wardrobe.

I insert my Russian homework.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Osama bin Bambi on September 16, 2012, 06:12:29 pm
You get the mangled, bloody body of Karl Marx.

I insert my American history homework.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on September 16, 2012, 06:39:12 pm
You get calculus homework.

I insert a vending machine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Sleepy on September 16, 2012, 06:42:17 pm
You get a DVD entitled Vendception.

I insert Waldo.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 16, 2012, 08:30:02 pm
You get him back along with 100 near-identical clones of him.

I insert my head and look around inside.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on September 20, 2012, 12:42:17 pm
It gets stuck. And the repair guy won't be able to get back out for another week. Way to ruin it for the rest of us!

I insert a crayon.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on September 20, 2012, 01:36:12 pm
You get a copy of the Mona Lisa.

I insert love and peace.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Sleepy on September 20, 2012, 03:42:12 pm
You get back a bunch of stoned hippies.

I insert Bella Swan.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on September 20, 2012, 04:07:33 pm
You get the chance to make her choice for yourself: Bestiality or necrophilia?

I insert my "Spice and Wolf" manga.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on September 28, 2012, 02:33:13 am
You get a wolf covered in spices.

I insert Robin Hood.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on September 28, 2012, 02:16:02 pm
You get little red riding hood.

I insert birthday cupcakes
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Veras on September 28, 2012, 03:28:56 pm
You get a dwarf that immediately starts giving you a birthday spanking.

I insert an encyclopedia.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on September 29, 2012, 09:30:47 am
You get an annoyingly-smart twelve-year-old who regularly outthinks every adult in town, including his police-chief father.

I insert Morgan Freeman.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on September 29, 2012, 12:37:35 pm
You get an orgasm.

I insert all the things.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Veras on September 29, 2012, 01:04:19 pm
You get a meme that's actually amusing.

I insert the 1996 U.S. Men's Olympic Basketball Team.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on September 29, 2012, 04:27:31 pm
You get to watch the 1996 team beat the 2012 by 40 points.

I insert my 4 day pass to NY Comic Con!
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on September 29, 2012, 04:44:32 pm
You get a ticket to Minecon!

I insert Cthuhlu.

EDIT: 1000th post!
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on October 01, 2012, 08:38:28 am
You are the last to be devoured.

I insert a quarter.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on October 01, 2012, 10:16:27 pm
You get a silver coin.

I insert a Polish plate
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 02, 2012, 01:38:12 am
You get a plated pole.

I insert an elephant.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on October 02, 2012, 01:43:11 am
You get a war elephant its essentially an elephant but it kills things


I insert my copy of  the Communist Manifesto
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on October 02, 2012, 08:53:19 am
You get harrangued by every conservative in the country for even knowing the Communist Manifesto exists.

I insert the Dresden Files. The books, not the TV show. The TV show is blasphemy against the holy name of Dresden, and we shall never speak of it again.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Veras on October 02, 2012, 11:56:14 am
You get a complete set of the Dresden Files TV Show.  Attached is a post-it note reading, "you should have seen this coming."

I insert fingernail clippings.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on October 03, 2012, 10:16:44 am
You get lead paint chips in your next meal.

I insert medical marijuana.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RinellaWasHere on October 04, 2012, 06:44:03 pm
You get all of SoCal. It's probably a bit disgusting as it gets forced through the slot.

I insert winter.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on October 04, 2012, 09:23:47 pm
You get frostbite.

I insert Queen Larsa on Ultra Mode during a single-credit run:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQZuidKexBQ

^Yes, her
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on October 07, 2012, 06:21:28 pm
You get YouTube videos of people beating games quickly on one play through.

I insert a Doritos Taco
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on October 07, 2012, 06:31:20 pm
You get a talking Chihuahua.

I insert Debi Pearl.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on October 08, 2012, 10:14:00 am
You get a grain of sand.

I insert cute kitten pictures.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on October 09, 2012, 02:55:39 am
You get Vladimir Putin.

I insert Santorum.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 10, 2012, 01:49:11 pm
You get a puddle of santorum.

I insert a large amount of crystal meth.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on October 10, 2012, 01:52:08 pm
You get arrested for possession.

I insert some Chinese food.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on October 10, 2012, 09:17:09 pm
You get crappy watered down American Chinese food.

I insert a small cramped container ship of Panamanian registry.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Spong Habsburg on October 10, 2012, 10:01:05 pm
You get a small island in the pacific inhabited by three Panamanian former crew members, a tiny boat originally belonging to a container ship before an unexplained onboard explosion, and the ravaged corpse of another crew member that they ate for sustenance, before realising that several large cases of food had washed ashore.

I insert a brick.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on October 10, 2012, 10:19:58 pm
You get a a toilet.

I insert a blonde wing.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on October 11, 2012, 08:44:13 am
You get 80's psuedopunk band Blondie.

I insert a comically large marital aid.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on October 11, 2012, 08:52:26 am
You get the animal it was modeled on.

I insert a greedy Republican millionaire.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on October 12, 2012, 08:46:44 am
You get five aging hippies on acid.

I insert a stick of bubblegum.

Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on October 12, 2012, 10:39:53 pm
You get an everlasting gobstopper.

I insert the lead singer of Blondie.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on October 14, 2012, 05:26:38 pm
And we're back to a blonde wig.

I insert a Canadian quarter that got mixed in with my American quarters.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on October 14, 2012, 05:48:31 pm
You get a Euro.

I insert Pat Robertson.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on October 14, 2012, 06:20:45 pm
You get Robert Patterson

Ironbite-I insert Rookie
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on October 14, 2012, 08:33:17 pm
And we're back to a blonde wig.

No, now I have a blonde wig and the all the members of the bad, minus Blondie.
I can do this to get infinite number of doppelgangers.

You get a signed Rookie rookie card.

I insert a Lannister's debt.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on October 16, 2012, 09:13:32 am
You get all kinds of screwed up in the head from associating with the Lannisters.

I insert Rush Limbaugh.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on October 16, 2012, 06:47:30 pm
You get a load of bullshit.

I insert a Phoenix Down.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on October 17, 2012, 03:46:16 pm
You get Watership Down.

Since the Halloween season is upon us, I'll go ahead and insert one of the Chick Tracts my kids will inevitably get in their little plastic pumpkins instead of candy. 
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 18, 2012, 01:19:45 pm
You get a badly-drawn devil going "HAW HAW HAW!"

I insert the character sheet for my 5th-level wild-elf druid.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on October 18, 2012, 07:34:36 pm
You get a character sheet of Random Guy.

I insert the Iron Throne
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on October 18, 2012, 07:51:18 pm
You get a very pissed off Emperor Charliss who really wants his chair back.

Ironbite-I insert Al Chest Breach
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 19, 2012, 11:44:03 pm
Your chest explodes.

I insert Bigfoot.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Veras on October 20, 2012, 01:17:34 am
You get a camera that only takes out of focus pictures.

I insert a live grenade.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on October 20, 2012, 01:38:56 pm
When the vending machine blows up you get a swarm of angry bees and a vending machine repairman who's wife left him a month ago.

I insert an iPhone 4 with a cracked screen.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Veras on October 20, 2012, 02:55:43 pm
You get 4 drug screenings that are testing for crack.  Also, the vending machine gets lost.

I insert a can of Dr. Pepper.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on October 22, 2012, 07:05:46 pm
You get a doctorate degree and a Mr. Pibb.

I insert Tyrion Lannister
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on October 23, 2012, 10:50:19 am
You get punched in the nuts by an angry dwarf.

I insert Jeh-Fah-FAH Dun-HAM.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Veras on October 23, 2012, 01:52:50 pm
You get Pinocchio

I insert a large quantity of illegal drugs.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on October 23, 2012, 03:12:23 pm
You get a much smaller quantity of illegal drugs.

I insert a set of hedge clippers I "borrowed" from my neighbor
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on October 23, 2012, 03:35:30 pm
You get killed in the shrapnel explosion as the machine tries to process the clippers.

I insert American politics.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 24, 2012, 09:49:38 am
You get a pair of 5-year-olds slapping and yelling at each other over pointless nonsense.

I insert an ankylosaurus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on October 24, 2012, 05:51:32 pm
You get Godzilla looking for someone to play with

Ironbite-I insert all of Cait's clothing
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on October 25, 2012, 10:57:42 am
You get punched by Cait's boything for trying to see her naked.

I insert all of Nicki's clothing.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Veras on October 25, 2012, 11:05:41 am
You get a lightsaber through the face

I insert detergent, since the machine is now full of clothes.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on October 25, 2012, 12:39:34 pm
The machine washes them. But since you forgot to turn it off the hottest water setting, Cait's and Nicki's clothes shrunk. Good thinking, Veras.

I insert a flashlight and mirror. It's such an interesting machine, I want to see how it works.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on October 25, 2012, 01:41:02 pm
You get a hologram of Cait and Nicki naked, all done with light and mirrors.

I insert my work schedule.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Material Defender on October 25, 2012, 02:53:20 pm
You get a teleporter than teleports you to work.

I insert my plasma cannon.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on October 25, 2012, 06:58:16 pm
You get a BFG-9000.

I insert Gillwing from NiGHTS.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on October 25, 2012, 07:20:06 pm
You get a very confused jester who's not sure where he is.

Ironbite-I insert Spoony.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on October 25, 2012, 07:41:26 pm
You get a douche, along with the bag it came in.

I insert the Gravity Gun from Half-Life 2.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 25, 2012, 08:40:47 pm
You get a black hole.

I insert Batman.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on October 25, 2012, 08:51:16 pm
You get a horrific and short-lived man-bat hybrid.

I insert Theodore Roosevelt's testicles.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Material Defender on October 25, 2012, 09:25:54 pm
You spawn THEODORE ROOSEVELT REBORN.

I insert The Art of War in.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on October 25, 2012, 09:42:59 pm
You get a copy of Clausewitz's On War, autographed by Sun Tzu.

I insert a container that was used to transport delicious Mongolian beef.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ThunderWulf on October 25, 2012, 09:46:51 pm
You get some of the best beef jerky you've ever tasted.

I put in every metal cd I own.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on October 25, 2012, 09:49:01 pm
You get DVDs of all of your songs being performed live.

I put in a T-34.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 26, 2012, 03:30:00 am
You get a Mammoth Tank from Red Alert.

I insert a creationist.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Material Defender on October 26, 2012, 03:49:19 am
He comes out a dinosaur that slowly transforms into a bird.

I insert turkey sandwiches and a turkey wrap.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on October 26, 2012, 08:51:58 am
You recieve a flock of turkeys that remembers all the pain and suffering of the slaughtering and processing they went through and blame it all on you.

I insert the Bride's katana.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: tygerarmy on October 27, 2012, 06:14:25 pm
You get the Crazy 88.

I insert Tyler Durden.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 31, 2012, 02:56:45 pm
You get something I refuse to discuss.

I insert a gun that fires babies.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ThunderWulf on October 31, 2012, 03:58:33 pm
You get anti-pro-life-fundie artillery weapons.

I insert a jumble of multiple different Halloween costumes.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on November 02, 2012, 08:59:46 pm
You get that Fairly Odd Parents Halloween special.

I insert a flashlight.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on November 03, 2012, 01:22:41 am
You get a fleshlight.

I insert a pastor's sermon about how "Christianity is not a religion, it's a relationship with God" along with said pastor's tax return in which he claims his church is a religious organization for tax-exempt status.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on November 03, 2012, 02:22:17 am
You get a pile of male bovine feces.

I insert a Power Glove.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on November 03, 2012, 02:45:30 pm
You get a punch in the dick for wasting such an awesomely bad piece of technology.

Ironbite-I insert Saturn's ruined scrotum
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on November 03, 2012, 05:08:09 pm
You get... To sew it back on!

I insert Bronzor.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on November 15, 2012, 06:20:55 pm
You get covered in molten copper and tin.

I insert a walrus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on November 15, 2012, 08:27:31 pm
Yuo git a bukkit.

I insert every LOLcat in existence.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on November 16, 2012, 09:56:28 am
You get dogs playing poker painted on black velvet.

I insert Ringo Starr.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Veras on November 18, 2012, 04:33:20 am
You get Bart Starr

I insert Tim Tebow
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on November 18, 2012, 04:41:10 am
You get a young Peyton Manning

Ironbite-I insert the Outlaw Star
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on November 19, 2012, 09:48:02 am
You get Robin Hood.

I insert Homestar Runner.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Material Defender on November 23, 2012, 09:36:25 am
You get Strong Bad, somehow.

I insert Regular Show and MLP:FIM together.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on December 07, 2012, 12:51:06 am
You get Pinkie Pie hosting a party for the confused cast of Regular Show

I insert Donald Trump's hair
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on December 07, 2012, 07:47:50 am
You get roadkill.

I insert the LOLcat I made that made cheezburger.com's homepage.

http://cheezburger.com/6846575360 (since I have no idea how to get cheezburger.com to show just the pic with no background so I can insert it into the post)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on December 13, 2012, 04:12:53 pm
There is a lot of yowling and crunching noises from inside the machine. You eventually get a cheeseburger made out of cat meat.

You bastard.

I insert a carton of Extreme Walrus Juice.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on December 13, 2012, 05:34:15 pm
You get a severely pissed off walrus named Joe

I insert my copy of Mein Kampf (Don't ask why I have this and if you must know PM me and I'll tell you.) 
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on December 13, 2012, 07:56:01 pm
You get some soggy tissues with Glenn Beck's DNA in them...

I insert the ABBA turd from Priscilla Queen of the Desert.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on December 18, 2012, 11:42:07 am
You get covered in sandy turds that have embedded diamonds for some reason.

I insert every form rejection I've ever gotten.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on December 18, 2012, 11:43:47 am
They all come back handwritten and overly insulting (with some of them being quite racist in a Mark Twain kind of way).

I insert a Mason jar filled with moonshine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on December 18, 2012, 05:10:05 pm
You get a bottle of moonshine ingredients


I insert my 10th grade biology text book.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on December 18, 2012, 06:55:09 pm
You get glue and wood pulp.

I insert a hot angel, like you might see in an anime. Or a "Penthouse" pictorial. Either one.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on December 18, 2012, 11:12:28 pm
You get one of those theme boards you can stick your head through and get your picture taken, only this one happens to belong to a bukkake club.

I insert Fred Phelps, a bicycle pump and a jar of vegemite.

Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on December 19, 2012, 11:39:11 am
You get porn such that the planet combusts under the weight of the sheer amount of WRONG.

I insert the Starship Enterprise.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on December 19, 2012, 11:49:07 am
A large number of tribbles starts pouring out of the machine, burying you in fuzzballs.

I insert Rush Limbaugh.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on December 19, 2012, 11:51:12 am
A large cloud of intestinal gas starts pouring out of the machine, suffocating you fatally.

I insert the Enterprise-D.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: JohnE on December 19, 2012, 03:43:57 pm
You get a series of increasingly pointless sub-plots.

You insert Gandalf.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ThunderWulf on December 19, 2012, 04:05:38 pm
You get a tome of wizardly knowledge.

I insert all my band tees at once.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on December 20, 2012, 09:26:09 am
You get a massive letter T. The Muppets write a new song about it just for you. You end up with it stuck in your head forever.

I insert "Ghost in the Shell".
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on December 20, 2012, 01:58:45 pm
You get Dry Bowser.

I insert a spiky blue shell.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on December 20, 2012, 03:24:35 pm
A few days later, somebody fishes it out and throws it. Guess who's hit.

I insert Sonic.exe
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on December 20, 2012, 03:28:39 pm
You get Sonic the Hedgehog.

I insert turducken.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: JohnE on December 20, 2012, 03:35:46 pm
You get a three day food coma.

Insert a Mayan calendar.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on December 20, 2012, 04:21:12 pm
You get a copy of "2012: What Didn't Happen."

I insert a hobbit.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on December 22, 2012, 01:57:09 pm
You get a wizard and 13 dwarves.

I insert my computer.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ThunderWulf on December 23, 2012, 12:42:07 am
You get three metric tons of internet porn.

I insert moonshine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on December 23, 2012, 12:07:27 pm
You get blindness!

I insert Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on December 23, 2012, 07:18:03 pm
You don't get why anyone likes it.

I insert cinnamon rolls.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on December 23, 2012, 09:51:06 pm
You get Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

I insert Mara, as portrayed in the Shin Megami Tensei games.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on January 01, 2013, 05:48:04 pm
You get one of these. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mara_%28mammal%29)

I insert the Pope.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ThunderWulf on January 01, 2013, 05:51:26 pm
You get an even more evil Palpatine.

I insert a giant stone statue of the three headed dog Cerberus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 01, 2013, 06:12:12 pm
You get a cute little Rottweiler puppy.

I insert my current job.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on January 01, 2013, 06:51:42 pm
You get a better job

I insert my Daring Do.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 01, 2013, 07:49:09 pm
You get a bad dare day.

I insert every movie remake ever made.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on January 04, 2013, 09:37:19 am
You get a singularity of stupid.

I insert a furby, Siri and an AK47.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 04, 2013, 09:39:29 am
You get an army of mind-numbingly cute killbots that proceed to take over the world.

I insert a lottery ticket.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on January 04, 2013, 09:48:48 am
You get a magic vacuum cleaner that hoovers up money with the promise that one day when you open it, there just might be some in the bag - there never is. The economy weakens further.

I insert Rush Limbaugh's maternity bra.

Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 04, 2013, 09:58:21 am
You get horribly murdered for introducing the mental image of Rush Limbaugh in a bra to the world.

I insert Michelle Obama.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on January 04, 2013, 10:16:44 am
You get a bottle of tablets that will give you unlimited energy and intelligence, but mysteriously get killed by predator drone before you get to take them.

I insert a herd of non-specific ruminant ungulates and a FOX TV Guide.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 04, 2013, 10:28:27 am
You get sprayed with non-specific ruminant ungulate crap.

I insert a dachshund, a ferret, a kitty and a hedgehog.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on January 04, 2013, 10:42:14 am
You get a psychopathic manticore that can lick its balls and is compelled to chase its own spines.

I insert a dwarf, an elf, Frodo and E. L. James...





Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on January 08, 2013, 09:32:50 am
You get a copy of the extended version, director's cut, movie Tolkien and C.S. Lewis made when "they were in college and really needed the money".

I insert a healthy adult male pheasant.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 08, 2013, 10:21:04 am
You get your eyes pecked out when you open the machine to let it out.

I insert the cutest specimen of every animal on the planet.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on January 08, 2013, 10:33:46 am
You get a tin of spam.

I insert a tin of spam.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 08, 2013, 10:39:50 am
You get the memories of every animal that went into that can, including the slaughterhouse and processing.

I insert a ferret and a kitten.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: JohnE on January 08, 2013, 03:36:46 pm
You get Longcat.

You insert Grumpy Cat...
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on January 08, 2013, 04:29:04 pm
You get an enraged hissing mass of fur, teeth, and claws heading for your face.

I insert Fred Phelps.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 08, 2013, 05:02:08 pm
You get the world's loudest fart as a gigantic windbag gets pierced by the machinery.

I insert Happy Cat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on January 09, 2013, 12:59:21 am
You get Nyan Cat

I insert Lupe Fiasco
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on January 13, 2013, 12:07:45 am
You get a pair of ridiculously oversized pants.

I insert one million gummy bears.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Yumeji on January 13, 2013, 02:06:57 am
You get your own gummy bare child complete with soul!
(http://images1.vat19.com/worlds-largest-gummy-bear/worlds-largest-gummy-bear-crib.jpg)



I insert 50 blank dual layer DVDs...
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on January 13, 2013, 06:26:15 am
You get a download of 0.1% of the wrong answers on Yahoo answers, and a request for another 50,000 dual-layer DVDs.

I insert Glenn Beck and a template for an 88 tattoo...
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 13, 2013, 07:36:53 pm
You get the Even Crazier 88.

I insert a demotivational.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on January 13, 2013, 08:52:33 pm
You get a motivational


I insert my ex-girlfriend Ashley.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 13, 2013, 08:57:28 pm
You get a chestburster.

I insert a dolphin.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on January 13, 2013, 11:47:40 pm
You get a message thanking you for all the fish.

I insert the machine into itself.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: JohnE on January 13, 2013, 11:56:46 pm
You get a wormhole that you think will transport you too a magical realm beyond your wildest dreams, but instead traps you in a time loop experiencing the same 15 seconds over and over again, for eternity.

You insert a hipster.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on January 14, 2013, 04:42:49 am
You get a mug of warm piss and the Cat from Red Dwarf.

I insert the Chicago plaster-cast of Jimi Hendrix...
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 14, 2013, 07:48:19 am
You get his moldering corpse.

I insert zombies.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on January 14, 2013, 08:30:30 am
You get me.


I insert my copy of ARMA II
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Tolpuddle Martyr on January 14, 2013, 11:48:47 pm
You get random vended code.

I insert a wizard.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on January 15, 2013, 12:43:32 am
You get a slightly pissed off Kamen Rider who casts the Sleep spell on you.

Ironbite-I insert 50 lost bags from a flight from Newark.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on January 15, 2013, 03:12:17 am
You get a random assortment of thongs, fake tan, vilely sweet liqueurs, condoms, vanity mirrors, grooming kits and a large birdcage lined with newspaper.

I insert the manifesto of 50 lamest reasons for the lamest of lameass anti-gay demonstrations ever.
(http://87.98.142.154/mediatheque/manif_pour_tous/50_raisons_manif_web.jpg)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Tolpuddle Martyr on January 15, 2013, 06:31:19 am
You get Pat Robertson!

I insert the Battlestar Galactica.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 15, 2013, 10:22:12 am
You get the Starship Enterprise.

I insert the "Twilight" series, books AND movies.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on January 15, 2013, 12:33:47 pm
Garbage in, garbage out. You get a pile of hazardous waste.

I insert Severus Snape.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on January 16, 2013, 01:24:43 pm
You get a random set of extremely potent, mislabelled potions... Do you feel lucky punk?

I insert Clint Eastwood's imaginary fiend.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 16, 2013, 05:23:32 pm
You get an empty chair.

I insert the Republican Party.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on January 17, 2013, 07:37:41 am
You get empty rhetoric and a cabinet full of broken promises.

I insert a lit cherry bomb.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 17, 2013, 08:11:48 am
You get a real cherry that explodes when you try to eat it.

I insert Satan.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Tolpuddle Martyr on January 18, 2013, 12:09:24 am
You get Santa.

I insert Bill Gates.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on January 18, 2013, 12:21:38 am
The machine displays a "loading...please wait" screen for the next ten minutes before spontaneously crashing and printing out a Blue Screen of Death.

I insert an AR-15 with a 30-round magazine and a pistol grip, with the words "ASSAULT RIFLE!" written on it in White Out.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 18, 2013, 08:22:43 am
You get a note from the NRA saying, "Guns don't assault people, poopyhead!"

I insert the NRA.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on January 18, 2013, 09:09:54 am
You get armed, geriatric, malelovent, misanthropic pus-bags on mobility scooters. Dalek Mk I's. The one's that couldn't levitate...

I insert a phone box and a David Hasselhoff gif collection.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 22, 2013, 10:54:32 am
You get the Doctor going, "WTF?"

I insert the Doctor.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on January 22, 2013, 11:08:52 am
You get a Timey Wimey Ball!

I insert Starscream the Transformer.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 22, 2013, 11:12:44 am
You get a whiny bitch who somehow thinks he should be in charge. You know...George W. Bush.

I insert nothingness.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on January 22, 2013, 11:26:54 am
You get a fundie's brain.

I insert primal fear.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 22, 2013, 11:52:06 am
You get fundie fuel.

I insert Heather Dale.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjqm4r6EbuE
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on January 22, 2013, 12:13:36 pm
You get Two Steps From Hell.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGyAqbezgZU

I insert the soul of a fan of Justin Bieber.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 23, 2013, 08:51:10 am
You get a horcrux.

I insert a horcrux.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on January 24, 2013, 12:25:14 am
You get the Boy Who Lived.

I insert a Mary Sue.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on January 24, 2013, 08:54:11 am
You get a Na'Vi.

I insert a bear.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 24, 2013, 10:12:35 am
You get a fat, hairy gay dude with a stalker-level crush on you.

I insert a catgirl.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on January 24, 2013, 10:25:26 am
You get some soggy infantile love letters from Bruce Wayne and some Z grade fan-fic...

I insert Tom Cruise, any FHM's hottest 100 list and a legal age of marriage by state guide.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on January 27, 2013, 12:22:25 am
You get 100 sad new Scientologists.

I insert a statue of the Roman god Zeus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on January 27, 2013, 12:49:24 am
You get a statue of the Greek god Jupiter who's very confused at being confused with ZEUS THE GREEK GOD OF THUNDER YOU FUCKING STUPID TWIT!

Ironbite-I insert a handy haversack and a portable hole.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on January 27, 2013, 04:33:26 am
You get a bag that devours everything you put in it, rendering your possessions unreachable.

I insert the SCP Foundation.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on January 29, 2013, 03:51:40 am
You get flashed by the Men in Black...

I insert Alex Jones' brain into CERN, fuck the vending machine...

OK, I insert whatever's created after the collision into the vending machine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on January 29, 2013, 04:42:22 am
His brain was annihilated into nothing, so you put nothing into the vending machine, and get nothing out!

I insert a crapton of Rule 34 into the vending machine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 29, 2013, 08:04:34 am
You get a crapton of Rule 63.

I insert "Tenchi Muyo!"
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on February 22, 2013, 08:13:24 am
Since I can't think of anything for that one, you get a potato.

I insert your mom. (that is, the next poster's mom)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on February 26, 2013, 05:16:23 pm
You get years-long depression and multiple neuroses.

I insert Stephen Hawking and a book of necromancy.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on February 26, 2013, 06:00:14 pm
You get a super-smart zombie with a robot voice.

I insert Steel Angel Kurumi.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on February 27, 2013, 12:06:46 am
You get Steel Angel Pinkie Pie.

I insert fhwgads.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on February 28, 2013, 03:18:55 pm
You get a reality-altering virus.

I insert Abraham Lincoln.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Southern Comforter on February 28, 2013, 03:26:16 pm
You get the Republican party. It's minty, fresh, and pretty good at first, but then starts to give you a headache after 50 to 60 years, and all the flavor and good things about it just seem to disappear.

I insert maple syrup.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on February 28, 2013, 03:39:40 pm
You get an angry Ent.

I insert a late model Ford F-150.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on February 28, 2013, 05:07:38 pm
You get a Transformer.

I insert a zombie horde and a shipment of strap-on dildos.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on March 04, 2013, 05:01:53 am
you don't get what you were wishing for... I don't know what on Earth you were hoping to get, but you don't get it...

You get the Thriller dance cast invading an orphanage with raging hard ons...

I insert Gonzo from the Muppet Show and Hunter S. Thompson's rotting corpse...
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 09, 2013, 01:09:03 am
You get a blue zombie with a huge nose.

I insert Kim Jong Un.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on March 09, 2013, 08:51:38 am
You get a centaur centrefold and an obese version of George W. Bush with "Made in Korea" tattooed on his ass.

I insert rule 34 and Iceland's proposed ban on internet porn.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 09, 2013, 10:09:18 am
You get pornographic Thor comics, all crusty and stained.

I insert the Internet, in all its porny, porny glory.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on March 09, 2013, 02:12:41 pm
You get a gigantic boner.

I insert savagesusie, fundie extraordinaire!
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 09, 2013, 06:18:09 pm
The machine gets really sick and promptly vomits her back out.

I insert my foot.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on March 09, 2013, 08:58:30 pm
You get a skiapod from Greek Mythology.

I insert five cannibals and one Jesus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Veras on March 09, 2013, 11:12:50 pm
You get five Catholics taking communion.

I insert a sleeping pill.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on March 10, 2013, 04:20:20 am
You get drowsiness, an easygoing mood and addiction to Valium.

I insert a fundie, a dinosaur and a loaded handgun.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 10, 2013, 08:57:43 pm
You get a pile of chewed-up bones, a dinosaur with minor injuries, and an empty handgun.

I insert the entire United States Congress.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on March 10, 2013, 10:19:12 pm
You get a large building full of screaming children fighting over whose Founding Father could beat up all the others' Founding Fathers.

I insert Voldemort and the Republican party.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 11, 2013, 10:35:53 am
You get the 2016 Republican presidential campaign.

I insert the outrage of every male animal that's ever been neutered.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on March 11, 2013, 09:41:29 pm
You get an ocean of Jizz and mouth froth.

I insert every scat video ever made.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Osama bin Bambi on March 12, 2013, 01:05:46 am
You get an ocean of Jizz and mouth froth.

I insert every scat video ever made.

You get a time-traveling James Joyce.

I insert cauliflower.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on March 12, 2013, 01:11:07 am
You get some delicious cauliflower soup!

I insert a zombified Bob Marley.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 12, 2013, 01:39:37 am
You get a horde of undead craving weed instead of brains.

I insert Richard Nixon, a badger, and a roll of duct tape.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on March 12, 2013, 01:54:26 am
You get Badgergate.

I insert rule34.xxx.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 12, 2013, 08:44:34 am
You get a collection of My Little Pony porn.

I insert both Star Wars and Star Trek.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: wrightway on March 12, 2013, 01:39:20 pm
You get a collective fangasm.

I insert a purple walrus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 12, 2013, 06:34:20 pm
You get the meth that made you hallucinate that.

I insert a hobbit.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on March 12, 2013, 07:48:42 pm
You get a ring and a case of insanity.

I insert the spinoff of MLP, "Equestria Girls."
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 13, 2013, 05:17:25 am
You get a glue factory.

I insert a garden hose, a plunger, a steam locomotive, a pterodactyl, and a pizza.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 13, 2013, 08:21:39 am
You get one of Calvin's fantasies (from "Calvin and Hobbes").

I insert every iteration of the King Arthur legend ever told. Yes, including "Monty Python and the Holy Grail".
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on March 13, 2013, 08:32:18 pm
You get a grail.

I insert this thread: http://forums.fstdt.net/index.php?topic=3748.0 (http://forums.fstdt.net/index.php?topic=3748.0)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on March 13, 2013, 11:45:43 pm
You just gave the entire Internet cancer.  Good job!

I insert one of The Amazing Atheist's "lovely" little videos.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 14, 2013, 09:50:23 am
You give the entire Internet herpes on top of the cancer.

I insert my sig pic and avatar.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on March 14, 2013, 11:47:40 am
You give the internet diabetes on top of everything else.

I insert /b.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ranger_Joe on March 14, 2013, 01:22:25 pm
You get self righteous douche-baggery.

I insert my Ranger Tab.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on March 15, 2013, 06:12:13 am
You get a boxed set of world shittiest Chuck Norris movies... (vending machines never give you value for money).

I insert 4 turtles, a rat and some soil - all of which were taken from 福島第一原子力
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on March 15, 2013, 06:12:52 am
(Now I think about it, that probably should've been night soil.)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 15, 2013, 11:49:26 pm
You get four Renaissance artists.

I insert a badger.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on March 16, 2013, 12:53:52 am
You get a marketing brochure from Findus claiming their 100% "beef" lasagna is free of bovine TB.

I insert Lord Monckton and the Python Upperclass Twit of the Year skit...
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on March 16, 2013, 03:09:05 am
You get a free death by silliness!

I insert a quintuple post.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 16, 2013, 03:24:02 am
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
You get the Great Pyramid of Quotes.

I insert George Washington.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on March 16, 2013, 03:58:24 am
You get that one dude that did stuff with peanuts.  George Washington Carver, I think?

I insert 9001 feels.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 16, 2013, 10:18:27 am
You get molested by an insane artificial intelligence.

I insert everyone's favorite number...69.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on March 18, 2013, 01:25:27 am
You get 42 + 27. :D

I insert ALF.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 18, 2013, 03:07:38 am
You get an aardvark.

I insert a platypus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 18, 2013, 09:29:23 am
You get a bunch of creationists screaming that it couldn't have evolved.

I insert the movie "We Bought A Zoo."
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 18, 2013, 01:28:18 pm
A large stampede of zoo animals charges out of the machine, trampling you to death.

I insert an Obdurodon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obdurodon) in response to the creationists.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on March 19, 2013, 01:54:49 am
You get a platypus saying "...Daddy?"

I insert you, me and a large cake.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 19, 2013, 09:13:28 am
You both get baked.

I insert fluffy-bunny Wicca.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 19, 2013, 10:27:21 am
You get Jack Chick's version of Wicca, complete with sacrificing Christians to a badly-drawn Devil.

I insert Godzilla.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 19, 2013, 10:49:47 am
You get a horde of creationists asking why we don't have Godzilla-like mutants threatening our survival.

I insert a creationist.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on March 20, 2013, 01:44:29 pm
You get a DIY lobotomy manual, a vat of generic happy pills, some tunnel vision goggles and a cherry picker.

I insert this suicide biter/bomber:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2013/mar/20/rat-fukushima-blackout (http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2013/mar/20/rat-fukushima-blackout)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on March 20, 2013, 11:30:20 pm
You get radiation poisoning.

I insert that one dude that says Twilight is his waifu and wants Kevinsano to stop the clop. :P
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 21, 2013, 02:12:35 am
You get a rather pissed-off Lauren Faust.

I insert Charles Darwin fighting demonic snowmen with a flamethrower while riding a motorcycle in space.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Tolpuddle Martyr on March 21, 2013, 08:19:38 am
You get Alfred Russel Wallace (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_Russel_Wallace) in a hot rod flying through hyperspace fighting angelic fire-zombies.

I insert four frustrated fundies, a Taliban, a teabagger, a WBC protester and Buzzardhut from Rapture ready.

Then I toss in all the porn on the web and hit "blend"!
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 21, 2013, 02:06:32 pm
You get an orgy.

I insert Elevation Burger, the restaurant I now work at.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 22, 2013, 02:53:37 am
'Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, may I take your order?"

I insert a swarm of killer bees.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on March 22, 2013, 07:51:07 am
You get Hibachi from Dodonpachi.

Speaking of which, I insert the opening for Dodonpachi SaiDaiOuJou (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEwPGfC6ieM&feature=youtu.be).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 22, 2013, 05:15:32 pm
You get accused of being a pervert for liking an anime that happens to include cute girls.

I insert the Thing (as in "John Carpenter's").
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 23, 2013, 03:56:13 am
You get Thing 1 and Thing 2 from "The Cat in the Hat".

I insert the Statue of Liberty.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on March 23, 2013, 06:34:03 am
You get 100,000 medallions saying Baise Angleterre.

I insert Jack Chick and Perez Hilton and some super glue in a tube marked "lubricant".
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Tolpuddle Martyr on March 23, 2013, 11:31:34 pm
You get a paranoid, attention seeking human centipede.

I insert Kenk from The Young Turks and Bill O'Reilly.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 24, 2013, 03:07:00 am
You get a nuclear explosion.

I insert a Blue Whale.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 24, 2013, 05:14:09 pm
You get to explain over and over why whales aren't fish to creationists who just don't get it.

I insert Kiera Knightly, Mila Jovovich and Natalie Portman.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on March 24, 2013, 05:34:06 pm
You get a combo super combo of a bunch of actresses I care nothing for.


I insert my nieces piano(which used to be my old one)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on March 24, 2013, 05:40:13 pm
You get a baby grand piano!

I insert a gallon of freshly-harvested horse semen.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: QueenofHearts on March 24, 2013, 11:05:15 pm
You get Bronycon 2013

I insert a kitten. An adorable kitten.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 25, 2013, 12:01:18 am
u gets cheezburger

I insert the WHARRGARBL dog.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 25, 2013, 05:19:34 pm
U gets a soggy hotdog.

I insert this sloth.

(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6846525952/h52AB646C/)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 25, 2013, 11:46:02 pm
You get this sloth.

(http://0.tqn.com/d/dinosaurs/1/0/1/K/-/-/megatheriumPMNH.JPG)

I insert a grenade after removing the pin.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Julian on March 26, 2013, 06:27:55 am
You get your crotch blown off because you were standing in front of the refund chute.

I insert wasabi flavoured kit kats, live crabs and a sackload of schoolgirl gym gear.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on March 28, 2013, 12:06:28 am
You get 4chan.

I insert three attractive men, fifty thousand blue whales and a small country of your choosing.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on April 04, 2013, 02:17:23 pm
You get three Lithuanians covered in a blubbery mess, looking confused.

I insert one of these (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Screaming_Hairy_Armadillo).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on April 04, 2013, 02:33:24 pm
You get Rush Limbaugh, a screaming hairy fat man.

I insert the erogenous zones of the people who've made a false accusation against me that cost me two jobs already and pray the machine has some nice, grindy gears.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on April 05, 2013, 12:32:25 am
They turn out to be kinky enough to enjoy it.

I insert the most comfortable chair in the entire time-space continuum.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on April 05, 2013, 12:33:46 am
You get...THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

I insert all of my favorite anibabes.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Thejebusfire on April 05, 2013, 02:16:02 am
You get aniherpes.



I insert 500 yen.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on April 06, 2013, 11:24:18 pm
You get the best sushi ever.

I insert the Bat Credit Card.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Radiation on April 07, 2013, 12:58:51 am
You get 50 of these (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Golden_crowned_fruit_bat.jpg)

I insert Neverland
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on April 07, 2013, 06:54:42 am
You get Michael Jackson.

I insert GrumpyCat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on April 07, 2013, 03:29:01 pm
You get a hissing ball of fur and claws to the face.

I insert a Grue.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on April 07, 2013, 04:59:58 pm
You get eaten.

I insert Random's remains.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Auggziliary on April 07, 2013, 05:50:35 pm
You get a random pissed off badger.

I insert a poptart.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on April 07, 2013, 07:35:25 pm
You get Nyan Cat.

I insert a giant rubber ducky.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on April 07, 2013, 08:40:27 pm
You get a giant Ernie.

I insert a Tickle Me Elmo.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Auggziliary on April 07, 2013, 09:05:14 pm
You get Pillsbury dough boy.

I insert a rare turtle.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on April 07, 2013, 09:18:06 pm
You get a kid wearing zombie facepaint.

I insert this fanfiction (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2554200/1/HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Auggziliary on April 07, 2013, 09:21:34 pm
You get Harry Potter and the Serious Fucking Business.

I insert antarctica and some waffles.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on April 07, 2013, 10:11:20 pm
You get a bunch of kids screaming at you to leggo their Eggos.

I insert a penguin, a bat, a cat, a robin and a spider.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Auggziliary on April 07, 2013, 10:18:26 pm
You get a gang of birds who beat the shit out of the cat and the spider with the bat (Doesn't matter if it's the baseball bat or the mammal).

You insert some lint, and a note about oreo pancakes.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on April 09, 2013, 09:27:40 pm
I get those items back since I can't think of a witty thing to say at the moment


I insert my really old crappy written self-insert Pokemon fanfic I wrote when I was 12.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on April 09, 2013, 09:49:15 pm
You get Rule 34, starring you.

I insert a human skull.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on April 12, 2013, 12:50:40 am
You get a picture of a partly-finished throne made of skulls with "More, please" written on it.

I insert the Iranian time machine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on April 12, 2013, 01:04:53 am
You get a TARDIS.

I insert Alucard, from the manga "Hellsing".
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on April 12, 2013, 02:40:31 am
You get Alucard from Castlevania.


I insert Psycho Mantis.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on April 16, 2013, 06:11:27 pm
Sexy

I insert a lit stick of wood inside a jar of peanut butter, coated in mayonnaise.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on April 17, 2013, 01:04:16 am
You get RPG ammo.

Ironbite-I insert 6 Silver Eagle coins.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on April 17, 2013, 01:44:03 am
You get a mountain of pennies.

I insert myself.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on April 17, 2013, 01:44:47 am
You get a fleshlight to insert yourself into.

I insert the Boston bomber.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on April 17, 2013, 03:24:31 pm
You get a bowl of funny-tasting clam chowder

I insert you (whoever responds to this post)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on May 02, 2013, 02:30:23 pm
After falling out of the machine, I demand to know where the cake you promised me was.

I insert Steve Jobs.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on May 02, 2013, 05:26:03 pm
You get a dirty job.

I insert the Lannisters AND the Starks.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on May 06, 2013, 02:08:22 pm
You get a dirty job.

I insert the Lannisters AND the Starks.

You get a direlion. It eats you.

I insert Kirk Cameron and a tub of peanut butter that's past its sell-by date.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on May 11, 2013, 03:56:22 am
You get a vomiting crocoduck.

I insert a Great White Shark.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on May 11, 2013, 05:31:19 pm
You get a bigger boat.

I insert a living turducken. Half turkey, half duck, half chicken.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on May 11, 2013, 06:10:39 pm
You get KFT:  Kentucky Fried Turducken.

I insert Phil Collins.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on May 11, 2013, 06:38:39 pm
You get Collin Phillips, a truck driver from Vermont.

I insert Ireland.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on May 11, 2013, 07:09:14 pm
You get trouble.

I insert every copy of Twilight-related material ever published or produced. Print, movies, TV spots, the works.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on May 11, 2013, 09:31:57 pm
The machine gets horrendously sick and vomits up everything that was put into it.

I insert a 3d-printed gun.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on May 18, 2013, 02:31:56 am
As the last entry seems to have jammed the machine, I fish out the gun and insert Art Vandelay instead.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on May 18, 2013, 02:59:35 am
As the last entry seems to have jammed the machine, I fish out the gun and insert Art Vandelay instead.

Art Vandelay shoots bees out his nipples.

I insert the nipple bees.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on May 19, 2013, 12:18:41 am
you get honey.

i insert a witty thought
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on May 19, 2013, 01:36:28 am
you get honey.

i insert a witty thought

You get a cheery tune.

I insert Pinkie Pie.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on May 20, 2013, 06:52:36 pm
You get a sample of factory-fresh glue.

I insert an igloo-dwelling lumberjack riding a dogsled while wielding a hockey stick and drinking maple syrup with his pet beaver.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on May 21, 2013, 07:08:16 pm
You get a sample of factory-fresh glue.

I insert an igloo-dwelling lumberjack riding a dogsled while wielding a hockey stick and drinking maple syrup with his pet beaver.

You get Chris from Dan VS.

I insert Chris from Dan VS.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on May 23, 2013, 03:38:13 am
You get a kick in the groin from Chris' girlfriend.

I insert Twilacorn, Equestria Girls, and a 40 gallon barrel of brony tears.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on May 23, 2013, 04:23:30 am
You get yet another disturbing clopfic.

I insert the transformation gun from "El Goonish Shive", a lever of infinite length, a kitten and George W. Bush.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on May 23, 2013, 05:47:04 pm
You get yet another disturbing clopfic.

I insert the transformation gun from "El Goonish Shive", a lever of infinite length, a kitten and George W. Bush.

You get a dozen kittens in a casino.

I insert SCP-051
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on May 23, 2013, 06:31:30 pm
You get a letter from Planned Parenthood asking to borrow it. Upon closer inspection the letter turns out to have been written by Rush Limbaugh.

I insert a dead body.

Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on May 23, 2013, 06:42:23 pm
You get a zombie. THE DEAD WILL NEVER DIE!

I insert a zombie.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on May 23, 2013, 08:59:23 pm
You get a zombie. THE DEAD WILL NEVER DIE!

I insert a zombie.

You get the zombie's weight of ants with Cordyceps.

I insert some of the Cordyceps ants.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on May 23, 2013, 11:00:39 pm
You get a xenomorph.

I insert a tribble.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on May 23, 2013, 11:55:39 pm
You get trouble.

I insert William Shatner.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on May 24, 2013, 12:10:12 am
You get KHAN! (I've always wanted to use that in the right context thank you)


I insert Kyu Sakamoto.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on May 24, 2013, 12:53:48 am
You get KHAN! (I've always wanted to use that in the right context thank you)


I insert Kyu Sakamoto.

You get bowl of noodles.

I insert 5,000 coffee beans.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on May 24, 2013, 02:19:53 am
You get a very hyper and decaffeinated Ironbite

Ironbite-I insert 10,000 spoons.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on May 24, 2013, 03:23:14 am
You get forked.

I insert a human skull.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on May 24, 2013, 03:49:34 am
You get forked.

I insert a human skull.

You get a violent Danish man.

I insert the violent Danish man.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on May 24, 2013, 04:13:33 am
You get the Doctor, William Wallace and Ethan Hawke.

I insert the Doctor, William Wallace and Ethan Hawke.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 24, 2013, 05:28:27 am
You get a doctor, a wall, and a hawk.

I insert a $5 bill.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Captain Jack Harkness on May 24, 2013, 03:29:49 pm
A giant candy bar lands on your feet, breaking both of them.

I cut off Saturn500's broken feet and toss those into the machine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on May 24, 2013, 04:34:46 pm
You get Podirus, scourge of cat's everywhere!

Ironbite-I insert 3 blue fish.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on May 24, 2013, 05:59:36 pm
You get Podirus, scourge of cat's everywhere!

Ironbite-I insert 3 blue fish.

You get Dr. Seuss.

I insert Dr. Seuss.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on May 24, 2013, 06:27:27 pm
You get thinly-veiled liberal messages that conservatives only fail to denounce because they can't see them past the bitchin' poetry.

I insert a cat, a hat and Ironbite's thing. Yes...THAT thing.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on May 24, 2013, 11:40:33 pm
You get thinly-veiled liberal messages that conservatives only fail to denounce because they can't see them past the bitchin' poetry.

I insert a cat, a hat and Ironbite's thing. Yes...THAT thing.

You get Empress Nikki and one other random forumite.

I insert E.N. and the other forumite.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Saturn500 on May 29, 2013, 03:36:37 pm
You get a Steam key for Monaco. Why? Who knows?

I insert Doug "Homosexuality = shitting in the wrong toilet" TenNapel.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on May 30, 2013, 09:00:53 pm
You get a Steam key for Monaco. Why? Who knows?

I insert Doug "Homosexuality = shitting in the wrong toilet" TenNapel.

You get an earthworm with rustled jimmies.

I insert the worm.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on May 30, 2013, 11:25:35 pm
A cow falls on your head. And then it turns out the earthworm you inserted was really a cow in disguise.

I insert a penguin.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on May 30, 2013, 11:41:46 pm
You get a psychotic businessman with ties to organized crime.

I insert a psychotic businessman with ties to organized crime.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on May 30, 2013, 11:58:52 pm
You get a note that says "Please stop inserting the thing you just gave the previous poster."

I insert a frozen mammoth carcass.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on May 31, 2013, 01:21:44 am
You get a note that says "Please stop inserting the thing you just gave the previous poster."

I insert a frozen mammoth carcass.

You get a herd of live mammoths.

I insert mammoth poop.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on May 31, 2013, 01:49:56 am
You get Michelle Bachmann's brain. It immediately grows tentacles and violates your every orifice.

I insert Jeh-fah-FAH Dun-HAM.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on May 31, 2013, 03:06:39 am
You get Michelle Bachmann's brain. It immediately grows tentacles and violates your every orifice.

I insert Jeh-fah-FAH Dun-HAM.

You get that creepy Goosebumps puppet. He possesses you and you go on a rampage.

I insert an insufficient amount of vodka.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on May 31, 2013, 07:14:41 am
You get an angry Russian guy who kicks you in the groin and takes the rest of your vodka.

I insert a magic talking burrito.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on May 31, 2013, 11:21:07 am
You get the chance to never eat again, because your food always screams in pain.

I insert Pepsi and Coke.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on June 02, 2013, 03:07:48 am
You get poked.

I insert a Toilet Shark.

(they may be rare, but they inhabit sewer systems worldwide. Just check before you sit down.)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on June 02, 2013, 03:55:07 am
You get poked.

I insert a Toilet Shark.

(they may be rare, but they inhabit sewer systems worldwide. Just check before you sit down.)

You get a Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus.

I insert bubble wrap.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on June 06, 2013, 05:31:12 pm
It comes back completely popped.

I insert a hobo.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Potenatae Argyros on June 07, 2013, 02:08:13 am
You get the hobo's severed head, along with a note telling you to never throw garbage into their dimension.

I insert a portal gun.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on June 07, 2013, 02:57:26 am
You get a homicidally-insane computer that happens to be shaped like a woman in skintight bondage gear. (seriously, take a look)

I insert an idiotic artificial intelligence. As in, the stupidest moron a team of brilliant scientists working for years could deliberately design.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Askold on June 07, 2013, 04:02:31 am
You get chlamydia. (Well, it's a test tube with something in it and at least the label CLAIMS that it is chlamydia.)

I insert a sguirrel pelt.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on June 07, 2013, 05:15:53 am
You get chlamydia. (Well, it's a test tube with something in it and at least the label CLAIMS that it is chlamydia.)

I insert a sguirrel pelt.

You get a Ghipmunk.

I insert Jake the Dog and Lady Rainicorn.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 06, 2013, 03:43:56 am
You get chlamydia. (Well, it's a test tube with something in it and at least the label CLAIMS that it is chlamydia.)

I insert a sguirrel pelt.

You get a Ghipmunk.

I insert Jake the Dog and Lady Rainicorn.
You get an oddly popular among teenagers merchandising wet dream.

I insert a gun, a Bible and a copy of the US Constitution.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on July 06, 2013, 03:47:18 am
You get chlamydia. (Well, it's a test tube with something in it and at least the label CLAIMS that it is chlamydia.)

I insert a sguirrel pelt.

You get a Ghipmunk.

I insert Jake the Dog and Lady Rainicorn.
You get an oddly popular among teenagers merchandising wet dream.

I insert a gun, a Bible and a copy of the US Constitution.

You get Sarah Palin and Thomas Jefferson having a vicious catfight.

I insert My Neighbor Totoro.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 06, 2013, 03:49:54 am
You get chlamydia. (Well, it's a test tube with something in it and at least the label CLAIMS that it is chlamydia.)

I insert a sguirrel pelt.

You get a Ghipmunk.

I insert Jake the Dog and Lady Rainicorn.
You get an oddly popular among teenagers merchandising wet dream.

I insert a gun, a Bible and a copy of the US Constitution.

You get Sarah Palin and Thomas Jefferson having a vicious catfight.

I insert My Neighbor Totoro.
You get a Month of Miyazaki.

I insert a cat, a dog and cybernetics.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on July 06, 2013, 04:38:42 am
You get a Terminator that can't decide if it wants to kill all humans or chase its own tail.

I insert the T-1000.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 06, 2013, 04:45:43 am
You get a Terminator that can't decide if it wants to kill all humans or chase its own tail.

I insert the T-1000.
You get ten T-100s.

I put in nothing.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on July 06, 2013, 01:21:32 pm
You get a note from the machine that reads "Put something in next time!"

I insert a shark with frickin laser beams attached to its head.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on July 06, 2013, 02:06:04 pm
You get a note from the machine that reads "Put something in next time!"

I insert a shark with frickin laser beams attached to its head.

You get a shagadelic, mod British man with bad teeth.

I insert Hetty (http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/?p=1211)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 07, 2013, 06:20:11 pm
You get a note from the machine that reads "Put something in next time!"

I insert a shark with frickin laser beams attached to its head.

You get a shagadelic, mod British man with bad teeth.

I insert Hetty (http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/?p=1211)
You get the Uncanny Valley chart.

I insert a lopped off dick in a box.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on July 07, 2013, 06:24:06 pm
You get The Lonely Island with guest performer Van Gogh.

I insert the ingredients for borscht.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: MadmanJohnson on July 07, 2013, 07:03:09 pm
You get a gun.

I insert Ironbite.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on July 07, 2013, 07:54:07 pm
You get a chibi clone army that consumes the world.

Ironbite-I insert the spark of Unicron.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on July 07, 2013, 08:57:54 pm
You get an electrical shock.

I insert Tyrion Lannister.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on July 07, 2013, 09:10:03 pm
You get an electrical shock.

I insert Tyrion Lannister.

You get Bloody Backstabbery: The Series

I insert solitary confinement and sensory deprivation.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: MadmanJohnson on July 07, 2013, 09:20:47 pm
You get the Slenderman

I insert Doctor Faciller.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on July 07, 2013, 09:36:57 pm
You get the Slenderman

I insert Doctor Faciller.

You get 'friends' on the other side.

I insert Ganymede.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on July 07, 2013, 10:15:55 pm
You get Nordic mead.

I insert the hammer of Thor.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 08, 2013, 04:07:51 am
You get Nordic mead.

I insert the hammer of Thor.
You get M.C. Hammer.

I insert a cup of water, a burning piece of paper, a fan, dirt, and a human heart.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: MadmanJohnson on July 08, 2013, 01:24:52 pm
By all your powers combined, You get Captain Planet!

I insert Ironbite's T-Cog.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on July 09, 2013, 12:25:37 am
You get a pile of feathers.

I insert the Constitution of the United States of America.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on July 09, 2013, 12:55:44 am
You get a pile of shredded toilet paper.

I insert the 2000 election results.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 09, 2013, 08:17:04 am
You get a pile of shredded toilet paper.

I insert the 2000 election results.
You get a pile of shredded toilet paper.

I insert a cat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: MadmanJohnson on July 09, 2013, 09:39:07 am
You get Sushi Cat!

I insert a bunch of hentai manga.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on July 09, 2013, 12:58:04 pm
You get a lynch mob attacking you for being a pedophile.

I insert an atheist and a Christian sitting down to have an intelligent, reasonable conversation about their beliefs.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Potenatae Argyros on July 09, 2013, 02:59:22 pm
You get the the Avatar a ravenous fundie.

Edit: replied to someone else before this.

I insert lemons.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 09, 2013, 03:34:04 pm
You get the the Avatar a ravenous fundie.

Edit: replied to someone else before this.

I insert lemons.
You get atomic lemons.

I insert myself.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on July 09, 2013, 04:04:48 pm
You get all of your component parts, neatly separated and labeled, in separate containers.

I insert "Exalted" (the RPG).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 14, 2013, 08:42:17 am
You get all of your component parts, neatly separated and labeled, in separate containers.

I insert "Exalted" (the RPG).
You get a rocket propelled grenade launcher labeled "Exalted RPG"

I insert the vending machine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on July 14, 2013, 03:07:21 pm
You get vending machine Rule 34.

I insert the zombies from my avatar.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on July 14, 2013, 04:10:52 pm
You get the Infected from "28 Days Later".

I insert Sean Bean.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 14, 2013, 08:36:29 pm
You get Sean Bean beans.

I insert chocolate.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on July 14, 2013, 09:18:06 pm
You get Sean Bean beans.

I insert chocolate.

You get this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DewP7gYXyjM

I insert a breakfast containing: a bottle of Aunt Jemima syrup, some blueberry pancakes, bacon, sausage, eggs, french toast, and fresh coffee with optional cream/sugar.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Valerius on July 14, 2013, 09:22:51 pm
You get a pill that induces diabetes (sugar) and a heart attack (fat/caffeine).

I insert this:

(http://www.unibroue.com/i/right/beers/findumonde1.jpg)
(That's beer, by the way.)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on July 14, 2013, 09:27:57 pm
You get the best barbecue ever.

I insert Grim Eyes and Murai from Digger.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: MadmanJohnson on July 17, 2013, 10:09:45 am
You get a huge drill covered in skulls.

I insert my hentai collection along with a copy of Vocaloid.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 17, 2013, 10:28:05 am
You get a huge drill covered in skulls.

I insert my hentai collection along with a copy of Vocaloid.
You get hentai that's also a musical.

I insert naked pictures of Marilyn Manson and Twiggy Ramirez.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: MadmanJohnson on July 17, 2013, 06:08:24 pm
You get horrible,horrible things.

I insert my musical hentai, black lingerie, a bunch of chains and gloves.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on July 17, 2013, 07:56:11 pm
You get horrible,horrible things.

I insert my musical hentai, black lingerie, a bunch of chains and gloves.

You get heavy metal hentai. You can never look at guitars the same way again.

I insert Unseen University's librarian, some people who don't understand evolution, and rum-baked bananas.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on July 17, 2013, 08:46:44 pm
You get a bunch of people with their heads twisted off and an orangutan with a hangover.

I insert Rincewind.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: MadmanJohnson on July 17, 2013, 09:02:04 pm
You get a fart.

I insert a maid's dress, a bunch of gears and 1 hentai manga along with a newly-made Spark.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: wrightway on July 17, 2013, 09:16:24 pm
You get Starscream.

I'll throw in a great white shark and a fundamentalist conservative.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: MadmanJohnson on July 17, 2013, 09:26:36 pm
You get blood splattering out.

I insert a maid and some lolicon.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on July 17, 2013, 09:34:45 pm
You get a very happy 'milkmaid'.

I insert Firelord Ozai from Avatar: The Last Airbender, Amon from the sequel, and Discord from MLP.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: MadmanJohnson on July 17, 2013, 09:47:18 pm
Granted, you get some horrid thing made of flames and body parts with blood leaking out.

I insert my "milkmaid" and a copy of Vocaloid.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 18, 2013, 12:02:00 am
Granted, you get some horrid thing made of flames and body parts with blood leaking out.

I insert my "milkmaid" and a copy of Vocaloid.
You get a milkmaid that never, ever stops singing, and quickly dies of dehydration and starvation.

I insert a cow.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on July 18, 2013, 12:04:27 am
You get Bart Simpson telling you not to have a cow.

I insert a pummel pipe.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 18, 2013, 12:50:16 am
You get Bart Simpson telling you not to have a cow.

I insert a pummel pipe.
You get pummeled with a pipe.

I insert the Bible.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on July 18, 2013, 01:15:12 am
You get Bart Simpson telling you not to have a cow.

I insert a pummel pipe.
You get pummeled with a pipe.

I insert the Bible.

You get the Koran.

I insert Gomez Addams.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 18, 2013, 03:35:11 am
You get Bart Simpson telling you not to have a cow.

I insert a pummel pipe.
You get pummeled with a pipe.

I insert the Bible.

You get the Koran.

I insert Gomez Addams.
The vending machine screams in terror.

I insert Feral Dog and a feral dog.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on July 18, 2013, 06:58:21 am
You get an ever-growing quote pyramid.

I insert a rottweiler, a pit bull and a German shepherd.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 18, 2013, 09:17:39 am
You get an ever-growing quote pyramid.

I insert a rottweiler, a pit bull and a German shepherd.
You get a rotting pit bull from Germany that knew how to herd sheep.

I insert the official six Rammstein dildos (I did not make that up).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on July 18, 2013, 06:33:00 pm
You get a very happy vending machine.

I insert Spongebob and Ice King.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Valerius on July 18, 2013, 07:11:17 pm
You get a sponge, filled with water and frozen solid, sitting on a throne. it's name is Bob.

I insert some sauerkraut, six soft pretzels, and two pints of beer.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on July 18, 2013, 08:22:31 pm
You get a sponge, filled with water and frozen solid, sitting on a throne. it's name is Bob.

I insert some sauerkraut, six soft pretzels, and two pints of beer.

You get one of those Bavarian wenches on your lap.

I insert Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas and Pratchett's Hogfather.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on July 18, 2013, 10:06:09 pm
You get Death performing musical numbers, all the time lampshading how ridiculous they really are.

I insert Terry Pratchett's collected works and a copy of every Monty Python DVD in existence.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: anti-nonsense on July 19, 2013, 07:49:58 am
You get a book so funny it causes the Laughterapolocalyse.

I insert a ham and cheese sandwich and a smoothie.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 19, 2013, 08:01:43 am
You get a book so funny it causes the Laughterapolocalyse.

I insert a ham and cheese sandwich and a smoothie.
You get a ham and cheese smoothie.

I insert rice.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on July 19, 2013, 10:41:57 am
You get Condelezza Rice.

Ironbite-I insert the rage of a thousand beasts.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: anti-nonsense on July 19, 2013, 12:16:49 pm
You get Death Metal

I insert chopped liver.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 19, 2013, 12:31:29 pm
You get yourself.

I insert the vending machine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on July 19, 2013, 01:25:30 pm
You get a Mobius loop.

I insert every copy of every Twilight-related material ever. In the world.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 19, 2013, 01:49:37 pm
You get a Mobius loop.

I insert every copy of every Twilight-related material ever. In the world.
You get a beam of light to the face. Everything you see is now Twilight related.

I insert my shitty computer.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Valerius on July 19, 2013, 01:59:02 pm
You get two older and even shittier computers.

I insert all the paperwork from my job.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 19, 2013, 02:47:52 pm
You get two older and even shittier computers.

I insert all the paperwork from my job.
You get fired for losing it all.

I insert a buck fifty.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on July 19, 2013, 03:28:28 pm
You get trampled to death by fifty bucks (as in, deer).

I insert a baby chimpanzee, a wolf cub and a tiger cub.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on July 19, 2013, 08:32:25 pm
You get trampled to death by fifty bucks (as in, deer).

I insert a baby chimpanzee, a wolf cub and a tiger cub.

You get a Jungle Book knockoff with a human named Bowgli.

I insert Gendo Ikari, Vetinari, and David Xanatos.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on July 19, 2013, 08:41:46 pm
You get the most magnificent bastard the world has ever known.

I insert every mech-related anime ever created.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: anti-nonsense on July 20, 2013, 03:49:42 am
You get a DRILL TO PIERCE THE HEAVENS.

I insert the collected ramblings of Kent Hovind.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 20, 2013, 04:00:36 am
You get Kent Hovind.

I insert a live cat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on July 20, 2013, 06:15:55 am
You get the world's nastiest cat box, and faint from the ammonia fumes.

I insert twenty-seven Diabolical Ironclad Beetles.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 20, 2013, 08:11:08 am
You get Beetlejuice.

I insert the Goddamn Batman.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on July 20, 2013, 09:25:02 am
You get the Bat-Nipples.

I insert David Bowie, Elton John and Mr. Spock.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 20, 2013, 08:43:40 pm
You get the Bat-Nipples.

I insert David Bowie, Elton John and Mr. Spock.
You get an amazing singer that's pretty attractive, but can't emote correctly.

I insert Dance In The Vampire Bund.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on July 20, 2013, 09:35:04 pm
You get accused of pedophilia again, with bestiality on top of it.

I insert Pepsi.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 20, 2013, 10:03:52 pm
You get Crystal Pepsi.

I insert Fallout and S.T.A.L.K.E.R
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 01, 2013, 02:00:35 pm
You get a nuclear bomb.

I insert the Lyra Plushie. Yes, that one.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on August 12, 2013, 11:37:47 pm
You get a nuclear bomb.

I insert the Lyra Plushie. Yes, that one.

You get ten thousand clopfics.

I insert the absolute worst clopfic ever written.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on August 13, 2013, 12:41:43 am
You get raped by a real pony.

I insert Rush Limbaugh, Kent Hovind and Pat Robertson.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Valerius on August 13, 2013, 01:00:28 am
You get a hemorrhagic stroke from the density of the sheer stupid all in one place.

I insert the prime minister of Canada, hog-tied and stuffed in a body bag.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on August 14, 2013, 12:55:37 am
You get arrested for terroristic threats.

I insert nuclear wessles.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 14, 2013, 12:57:34 am
You get a phaser somebody carelessly dropped on one of them.

I insert my ex-girlfriend.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on August 14, 2013, 01:00:53 am
You get a phaser somebody carelessly dropped on one of them.

I insert my ex-girlfriend.
You get laid.

I insert Florida.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on August 14, 2013, 10:29:08 am
You get a combination of the hottest girls and the oldest people on the planet.

I insert a hot Brazilian girl.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on August 14, 2013, 07:02:56 pm
You get a combination of the hottest girls and the oldest people on the planet.

I insert a hot Brazilian girl.
You get arrested for attempted rape and kidnapping

I insert The Bible
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Leafy on August 14, 2013, 09:25:41 pm
You get a combination of the hottest girls and the oldest people on the planet.

I insert a hot Brazilian girl.
You get arrested for attempted rape and kidnapping

I insert The Bible
You get some crazy guy holding a "The End is near" sign.

I insert a dragon.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on August 14, 2013, 09:40:29 pm
You get a unicorn.

I insert a hot unicorn furry.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on August 14, 2013, 09:48:34 pm
You get a unicorn.

I insert a hot unicorn furry.

You get terrifying furry porn involving barbeques and virgins.

I insert a Nigerian scammer.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Leafy on August 15, 2013, 12:31:11 pm
You get a computer virus.

I insert a box of crackers.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on August 15, 2013, 03:27:24 pm
You get a computer virus.

I insert a box of crackers.
You get a bunch of white people.

I insert a Bible and a factchecker.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Valerius on August 15, 2013, 03:30:40 pm
You get an explosion from the fact-checker getting overloaded.

I insert a bottle of water.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on August 15, 2013, 03:32:07 pm
You get an explosion from the fact-checker getting overloaded.

I insert a bottle of water.
You get slapped for being dumb enough to buy bottled water.

I insert Fanta.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Leafy on August 15, 2013, 05:06:31 pm
You get Strawberry Fanta.

I insert a scone.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on August 15, 2013, 06:30:23 pm
You get a stone.

I insert a hot goth girl.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Valerius on August 15, 2013, 08:43:05 pm
You get a woman from 2 000 years ago from an East Germanic tribe of people known as Ostrogoths.

I insert delicious apple strudels.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on August 15, 2013, 09:52:41 pm
You get a woman from 2 000 years ago from an East Germanic tribe of people known as Ostrogoths.

I insert delicious apple strudels.
You get McDonalds' Apple Pie.

I insert a hot emo girl.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on August 16, 2013, 01:59:25 am
You get a burning Tickle Me Elmo.

I insert Sesame Street.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on August 16, 2013, 09:41:05 pm
You get "This Ain't Sesame Street XXX"

I insert my penis.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 16, 2013, 10:32:47 pm
You get a free, quick, and extremely painful sex reassignment operation.

I insert the wild-elf druid I played in my last D&D campaign.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on August 16, 2013, 11:09:52 pm
You get a very confused wild-elf druid.

I insert a wearable, high quality replica of my favorite grouping of Halo 4 Mark VII Mjolnir armor.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on August 16, 2013, 11:34:04 pm
You get the hammer Mjolnir and are unworthy to wield it.

I insert Loki.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on August 16, 2013, 11:35:14 pm
You get the hammer Mjolnir and are unworthy to wield it.

I insert Loki.
You get trampled by fangirls.

I insert the Vending Machine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on August 21, 2013, 04:23:47 am
You get the hammer Mjolnir and are unworthy to wield it.

I insert Loki.
You get trampled by fangirls.

I insert the Vending Machine.

You get http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-294 (http://SCP-294).

I insert George Orwell and Mark Twain.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on August 21, 2013, 04:36:14 am
You get crushing depression mixed with biting sarcasm.

I insert the Smiling Man. http://thefearmythos.wikia.com/wiki/The_Smiling_Man (http://thefearmythos.wikia.com/wiki/The_Smiling_Man)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Lady Evil on August 30, 2013, 03:41:10 pm
You get Jeff the Killer and Poison Ivy

I insert a Star Trek novel.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on August 30, 2013, 08:54:39 pm
You get endless arguments among fans over whether or not it's canon.

I insert "Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water."
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on August 30, 2013, 09:30:03 pm
You get a sample of factory-fresh glue.

I insert an igloo-dwelling lumberjack riding a dogsled while wielding a hockey stick and drinking maple syrup with his pet beaver.

you get a canadian stereotype

i insert a death metal album
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on August 30, 2013, 11:46:22 pm
You get a hunk of sheet metal with bleeding bullet holes.

I insert a cow.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on August 31, 2013, 12:42:41 am
You get a baseball glove, a motorcycle jacket and a hamburger.

I insert everyone who skips posts in this thread, especially the ones who do so by answering posts from multiple pages ago.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on August 31, 2013, 08:33:03 am
You get a human smoothie.

I insert a pig.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on August 31, 2013, 08:37:48 am
You get a human smoothie.

I insert a pig.

you get a football.

i insert sugar, spice, and everything nice.


edit, i messed up, really sorry, did'nt see the difference in my other post.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on August 31, 2013, 08:40:17 am
You get squished Powerpuff Girls.

I insert a cat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Lady Evil on August 31, 2013, 10:36:24 am
You get kittens who all demand cheezeburgers.

I insert a tube of lipstick.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on August 31, 2013, 10:44:38 am
You get kittens who all demand cheezeburgers.

I insert a tube of lipstick.
You get a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.

I insert Anthony Stewart Head.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 31, 2013, 02:20:57 pm
You get A Severed Head.

I insert a gun that fires exploding chickens.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on August 31, 2013, 02:28:44 pm
You get the ultimate airplane testing tool.

I insert the Mythbusters.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Valerius on August 31, 2013, 11:42:11 pm
You get lots of things blowing up.

I insert the scythe I found in my late grandma's garage.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on August 31, 2013, 11:47:25 pm
You get Death.

I insert Neil Gaiman's hot goth girl version of Death.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Valerius on September 01, 2013, 12:19:24 am
You get an epidemic of men dropping dead from heart attacks after sporting raging boners.

I insert one such casualty.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on September 01, 2013, 04:43:49 am
You get a rape zombie.

I insert the rape zombie.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Valerius on September 01, 2013, 04:57:50 am
You get a little girl laughing at what a shitty rapist the zombie is as she easily rips his decomposing dick off and continues on her merry way.

I insert a bowl of oatmeal and a disembowelled sheep's organs.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Lady Evil on September 01, 2013, 09:27:10 am
You get haggis.

I insert Rob Leifeld
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Leafy on September 01, 2013, 12:24:43 pm
You get Wolverine.

I insert a grapefruit.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on September 01, 2013, 03:16:45 pm
You get a grape, and a pile of other fruits.

I insert a pineapple.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Leafy on September 01, 2013, 03:49:24 pm
You get a bush.

I insert a poptart.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on September 01, 2013, 03:54:25 pm
You get a deep-fried poptart.

I insert a shotgun.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on September 01, 2013, 10:38:36 pm
You get the front passenger seat of a car.

I insert a faulty time machine and a contraceptive.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on September 01, 2013, 10:47:35 pm
You sterilize all of humanity in the past, present and future, leading to the universe falling apart due to the paradox.

I insert the semen of Till Lindemann and an egg from Otep Shamaya.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Leafy on September 02, 2013, 08:16:28 pm
You get a crying baby.

I insert Puff the Magic Dragon.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on September 02, 2013, 11:38:34 pm
You get marijuana.

I insert a squad of hot ninja cheerleaders.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on September 03, 2013, 12:23:48 am
You get flaming cheerleaders you can't see.

I insert Santa and Satan
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 03, 2013, 05:53:00 pm
You get God and a dog.

I insert Distind.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on September 04, 2013, 06:39:45 am
You get a fundie and a sheep outfit.

I insert money.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on September 04, 2013, 08:25:06 pm
You get slips of paper with arbitrarily-assigned value.

I insert the anime "Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water"
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on September 05, 2013, 04:54:41 am
You get slips of paper with arbitrarily-assigned value.

I insert the anime "Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water"

You get terrifying otakus and weaboos who don't understand the series dressing in bad cosplay.

I insert Aang and Korra.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on September 05, 2013, 11:56:34 am
You get a very confused Bumi.

Ironbite-I insert the Matrix from Bayformers.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on September 05, 2013, 04:17:15 pm
You get the Matrix from the Matrix.

I insert the TARDIS.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on September 05, 2013, 05:27:31 pm
You get a retard. Pat Robertson, to be specific, just for shits and giggles.

I insert fire.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on September 05, 2013, 05:30:19 pm
You get told that you did in fact start the fire.

I insert ice.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on September 05, 2013, 05:52:56 pm
You get told that you did in fact start the fire.

I insert ice.

You get a sno-cone.

I insert radfems, normal people, and MRA's who share a love of MLP.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 12, 2013, 01:30:00 am
You get a bunch of normal people running away screaming from the resulting violence.

I insert a lobster.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on September 12, 2013, 02:10:42 am
You get crabs.

I insert Keanu Reeves and Nicolas Cage.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 13, 2013, 03:36:06 pm
You get a guy stating expressionlessly and calmly that he dislikes having bees poured into his face.

I insert the Alien Lizard Jews who secretly control everything.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 13, 2013, 10:09:27 pm
You get a bunch of broken, unreadable conspiratard websites.

I insert a d20.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Leafy on September 14, 2013, 06:31:54 pm
You get stuck by lightening.

I insert a plastic bottle.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 14, 2013, 08:37:21 pm
You get a full bottle of urine.

I insert a kitten.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Lady Evil on September 14, 2013, 08:55:00 pm
You get memes that never go away!

Hmmm...

I insert sugar and aluminum.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 14, 2013, 09:20:05 pm
You get a can of your least favorite soda.

I insert a selfie.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 15, 2013, 05:34:39 pm
You get a duckface.

I insert the entire population of Texas.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Lady Evil on September 15, 2013, 05:47:53 pm
You get morons, dipshits, rednecks and the one person (me) who was smart enough to leave their asses.

I insert a smart phone.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 15, 2013, 08:43:28 pm
You get a dumb service provider.

I insert a bottle of antidepressants.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 23, 2013, 02:48:11 pm
You get a hyperactive super-bubbly vending machine.

I insert my boss.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 23, 2013, 02:50:15 pm
You get internet fame in the form of a Please Fire Me post.

I insert doing nothing all day because I hate my classes.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 23, 2013, 07:42:25 pm
You get a report card covered in big red "F"s.

I insert SmokingDodongo.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 23, 2013, 07:43:57 pm
You get an unbearably sexy demisexual trans man.

I insert Random Guy.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 23, 2013, 09:01:42 pm
The machine gives you a very confused looking caveman.

I insert a mammoth tusk I found lying around the cave I just wound up in. Wow, it sure is cold in here.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 23, 2013, 09:07:52 pm
You get an ivory piano.

I insert everything you've ever loved.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 25, 2013, 02:44:14 pm
You get a medieval war club to the face.

I insert Barney the Purple Dinosaur.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 25, 2013, 04:18:25 pm
You get Barney R34.

I insert failure.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on September 26, 2013, 01:29:53 am
You get Barney R34.

I insert failure.

You get success at something terrible.

I insert Dr. Facilier.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 26, 2013, 01:55:42 am
You get dragged into hell.

I insert Cthulhu.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 26, 2013, 02:11:29 am
You get a book-on-CD version of the Necronomicon. Go on, let every incantation of it issue forth from your speakers! What's the worst that could happen?

I insert SmokingDodongo's mom and set all the dials on the machine to "Maximum".
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 26, 2013, 02:23:00 am
You get an sociopathic fundamentalist who sees people (especially her children) as a means to an end; with the end being recognition, attention, and martyr-points. I kick the machine, because I got the same thing I put in.

I insert Benedict Cumberbatch.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 26, 2013, 02:29:19 am
You get Ricardo Montelban holding a bloody knife, along with Benedict Cumberbatch's corpse. Also, you think you can hear William Shatner screaming somewhere.

I insert Laddergoat (http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/laddergoat).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 26, 2013, 09:49:55 am
You get PewDiePie.

I insert the drama surrounding Mass Effect 3's endings.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 27, 2013, 12:41:43 pm
A herd of Drama Llamas charges out of the machine, trampling you to death.

I insert Rush Limbaugh and Michael Moore.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 27, 2013, 12:57:19 pm
You get gay porn.

I insert Nikki Minaj.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Askold on September 27, 2013, 01:39:16 pm
You get a refund.

I insert the vending machine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 27, 2013, 02:23:29 pm
You get the "Yo Dawg" guy and a copy of Inception.

I insert this man (http://www.fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=80934) and this woman (http://www.fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=88788).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 27, 2013, 03:15:01 pm
You get a flamewar.

I insert a bottle of sleeping pills.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on September 30, 2013, 02:48:43 am
You get a flamewar.

I insert a bottle of sleeping pills.

You get several binders full of crappy emo poetry.

I insert the person you most hate being around.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 30, 2013, 09:10:48 am
You get a first-degree murder charge.

I insert a steampunk version of something that shouldn't be steampunk.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 30, 2013, 01:00:12 pm
You get a cyberpunk version of a steam locomotive.

I insert a dead fish.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 30, 2013, 01:01:22 pm
You get a ghost fish.

I insert a mashup that shouldn't be as wonderful as it is.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 01, 2013, 02:47:32 pm
You get a fanfic that ships Draco Malfoy with Adolf Hitler.

I insert some blub blub, in the hopes of getting some glub glub.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 01, 2013, 10:40:27 pm
You get huehuehuehue.

I insert a falling star.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 01, 2013, 10:43:15 pm
You get a massive tsunami, global firestorms, enough dust to block out the sun for a really long time, and a shit-ton of dead dinosaurs.

I insert one of the surviving mammals.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 01, 2013, 10:50:35 pm
You get a cat that pukes on everything you love.

I insert an old meme.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on October 01, 2013, 11:52:19 pm
You get a cat that pukes on everything you love.

I insert an old meme.

You get The Llama Song.

I insert Transormers: Prime.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 02, 2013, 12:50:43 am
You get Transformers: Dark of the Moon.

I insert a stomachache.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on October 02, 2013, 07:59:06 pm
You get Transformers: Dark of the Moon.

I insert a stomachache.

You get diarrhea.

I insert Freud and HR Giger.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 02, 2013, 09:33:51 pm
You get Schrodinger's cat.

I insert a koan.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 03, 2013, 01:47:54 am
You get nothing, since you put in something.

I put in nothing, and will therefore get something.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 03, 2013, 02:04:47 am
You get a slap in the face.

I insert Nyan Cat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Askold on October 03, 2013, 02:27:09 am
You get the Nyan cat song stuck in your head.

I insert happiness.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 03, 2013, 02:29:22 am
You get cyanide.

I insert a clown.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Askold on October 03, 2013, 02:45:39 am
You get cyanide.

...Cyanide for my happines.

...That's actually pretty funny.


You get mimes. Hundreds and hundreds of mimes.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 03, 2013, 07:56:55 am
I get nothing, 'cause askold didn't insert anything.

I insert askold.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Askold on October 03, 2013, 08:17:02 am
Dang. I knew I forgot something.

You get a 50 cent as refund. (The rapper, not the coin.)

I insert a post-it note which tells me to remember to insert something
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 03, 2013, 12:44:38 pm
You get Neville's Remebrall.

I insert Mario 64.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 06, 2013, 01:06:27 pm
You get some of the really good mushrooms.

I insert a British Royal Guard.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 06, 2013, 03:46:32 pm
You get a stupid tourist picture.

I insert an "adopt a virtual pet!!!! totally not a virus!!!!!!!" site.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Askold on October 06, 2013, 04:07:11 pm
You get a pet kitten. The kitten gives you an virus.

I insert Alice Cooper.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 06, 2013, 04:19:27 pm
You get his cover of "Born This Way".

I insert a college diploma.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on October 06, 2013, 05:49:48 pm
You get his cover of "Born This Way".

I insert a college diploma.

You get crippling debt and a crap job if you're lucky while your parents and grandparents wonder aloud why you won't "pull yourself up by the bootstraps like they did".

I insert all the third world nations.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 06, 2013, 06:08:31 pm
You get a bunch of Facebook likes and prayers.

I insert every country with socialized healthcare.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 06, 2013, 08:23:20 pm
You get a flood of Republican tears.

I insert that giant freak snowstorm that just hit my area.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 06, 2013, 08:26:44 pm
You get Canadians in their bathing suits.

I insert the internet.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on October 06, 2013, 08:37:00 pm
You get Canadians in their bathing suits.

I insert the internet.

You get a cat-shaped Eldritch Abomination made of tentacles.

I insert one of its tentacles.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 06, 2013, 08:45:04 pm
You get a Japanese schoolgirl.

I insert SmokingDodongo's parents and set the machine on "Maximum Force".
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 06, 2013, 09:00:46 pm
You get the anthropomorphic personification of FSTDT. It eats your face.

I insert hentai.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on October 06, 2013, 11:20:58 pm
You get the anthropomorphic personification of FSTDT. It eats your face.

I insert hentai.

You get lemon fanfictions.

I insert the Zulu version of "Be Prepared".
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 06, 2013, 11:39:19 pm
You get an eargasm. An evil, eeeeevil eargasm.

I insert a Tickle Me Elmo on fire.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on October 12, 2013, 12:08:15 am
You get a crappy new Sy-Fy made-for-TV movie involving the same.

I insert Chuck Norris and my underwear. That I am wearing.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 12, 2013, 02:04:18 am
You get the weirdest, most horrible example of R34 you've ever seen.

I insert an episode of Mythbusters.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on October 15, 2013, 02:00:04 pm
You get the weirdest, most horrible example of R34 you've ever seen.

I insert an episode of Mythbusters.

You get a life-sized statue of Kari Ginsberg sculpted from C4.

I insert Murphy's Law.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 15, 2013, 02:09:54 pm
You get Godwin's Law, you nazi.

I insert the GOP.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on October 15, 2013, 02:31:06 pm
You get a bunch of BABIES!  ENTIRE PARTY IS BABIES!

Ironbite-I insert this...random CD I have in my CD/Alarm Clock/Radio.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on October 15, 2013, 03:41:15 pm
You get a bunch of BABIES!  ENTIRE PARTY IS BABIES!

Ironbite-I insert this...random CD I have in my CD/Alarm Clock/Radio.

You get all the songs you hate, seared into your mind for eternity.

I insert a bunch of elementary school kids on a field trip.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 15, 2013, 09:02:48 pm
You get a bunch of fossils with grimy fingerprints all over them despite the DO NOT TOUCH signs, insane unintelligible comments in the museum guestbook, and a museum tour guide on the verge of hulking out.

I insert a stegosaurus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 15, 2013, 10:20:44 pm
You get Jurassic Park: The Lost World.

I insert Garrus Vakarian.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on October 16, 2013, 08:54:42 pm
You get nothing, as he is in the middle of some calibrations.

I insert Jayne Cobb and Simon Tam.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 17, 2013, 12:46:14 pm
You get snark, River Tam, and the essence of shooting things.

I insert the next poster.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 17, 2013, 03:09:25 pm
You get my severed head. Thanks a lot.

I (somehow) insert every member of Congress who decided to shut down the government.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Askold on October 17, 2013, 03:35:56 pm
Nothing comes out of the vending machine but USA and it's politics improves noticiably.

I insert my left foot.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 17, 2013, 03:43:26 pm
You get stuck.

I insert a pizza.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on October 18, 2013, 10:56:29 pm
You get Ninja Turtles (from whichever gen is your favorite)!

I insert 12,000 years.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 19, 2013, 02:05:51 am
You get an asari matriarch who has no idea where she is or what she drank last night.

I insert the blood of angry men.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 21, 2013, 01:58:41 pm
You get a bunch of vampires who need a glass of water to deal with the spicyness.

I insert the dog from Duck Hunt.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 21, 2013, 02:37:08 pm
You get a smashed TV screen.

I insert Homestuck.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on October 21, 2013, 04:34:35 pm
You get a war between the fandom and the hatedom. Other comics are forced to choose sides. Soon violence spills into the streets, and the riots devastate the world economy. You regret ever inserting Homestuck.

I insert a (homemade) pumpkin spice latte.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 21, 2013, 05:31:02 pm
You get a white suburban girl in a hoodie and yoga pants telling you everything she loves about fall.

I insert the endings to Mass Effect 3.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 22, 2013, 02:22:12 am
You get an explosion of fandom rage.

I insert William Shatner.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 22, 2013, 03:37:29 am
You... GetanepisodeofStar... Trek!

I insert the mythical second season of Firefly.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on October 25, 2013, 09:45:00 pm
You get a world-wide nerdgasm with the atomic yield of several nuclear bombs.

I insert the Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young and Supernanny.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 27, 2013, 04:04:37 am
Monty Hall gives you 333 cars.

I insert that thing from that place.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on October 27, 2013, 04:38:14 am
You get something from somewhere else.

I insert Joss Whedon, unlimited funds and every actor on Earth.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 28, 2013, 02:10:57 am
You get the second season of Firefly.

I insert a great problem to have.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 28, 2013, 03:49:04 am
You get the only solution, which is too horrible to describe and is something that no sane being would ever contemplate doing given any other option.

I insert Jailbreak (the first MS Paint Adventures comic).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on October 28, 2013, 05:29:34 pm
You get Superjail!

I insert Zuko's honor.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 28, 2013, 07:13:29 pm
You get an empty pedestal where Zuko would put his honor... IF HE HAD ANY!!

I insert a batch of cookies.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 28, 2013, 09:22:49 pm
You hear nomming sounds coming from the machine, and you get a piece of paper with "MOAR!" written on it.

I insert a beaker of mercury.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 28, 2013, 09:52:21 pm
You get the Harry Potter fandom calling unicorn blood and insisting everyone who says otherwise is a muggle.

I insert slashfic.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on October 29, 2013, 09:40:50 am
You get LiveJournal.

I insert Chuck Norris, John Shepard and the Goddamn Batman.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 29, 2013, 12:19:45 pm
You get a bunch of rabid fanboys screaming that their favorite would win in a fight against the other two.

I insert FemShep.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on October 31, 2013, 07:34:42 pm
You get a BAMF Action Girl.

I insert Buffy Summers.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on November 01, 2013, 04:33:48 pm
You get Yet Another Halloween Fic.

I insert a High School Musical/Bones crossover.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on November 02, 2013, 12:36:45 am
You get a world where high school theater is SERIOUS. FUCKING. BUSINESS.

I insert Happy Tree Friends.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on November 03, 2013, 09:31:36 pm
You get a mildly terrifying show some kid's grandma might accidentally buy them for their birthday.

I insert three lions and one Hitler.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on November 03, 2013, 09:34:22 pm
You get a mildly terrifying show some kid's grandma might accidentally buy them for their birthday.

I insert three lions and one Hitler.

You get a bloody mess and some fat cats.

I insert sentient army ants.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on November 04, 2013, 12:06:53 am
You get the least impressive apocalypse ever, and a multi-species council of enlightened aliens alternating between facepalming(or face-tentacling, or whatever) and laughing their asses off.

I insert Dance Dance Revolution.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on November 30, 2013, 09:59:11 pm
You get an octopus-kin complaining about discrimination.

I insert a land mine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on December 01, 2013, 12:25:32 am
You get a very confused Kolyat Krios.

I insert the Catalyst/Godbrat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on December 10, 2013, 10:40:57 pm
You get a note that says "I have never played Mass Effect."

I insert Captain Picard.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on December 10, 2013, 10:56:43 pm
You get a much better system of ethics than most religions.

I insert Booker/Elizabeth.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on December 11, 2013, 12:11:12 am
You get a confusing ending

I insert Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on December 11, 2013, 12:14:43 am
You get Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. You appear victorious until the Red Ranger comes to kick your ass.

I insert fifteen microbiologists, two psychologists, a room full of elderly religious fundamentalists, and a sentient pacifist colony of Anthrax.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on December 11, 2013, 12:51:44 am
You get a humongous argument and a bunch of dead people.

I insert the Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc rap battle.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on December 11, 2013, 01:00:11 am
You get a rather disappointing entry in an otherwise amazing series of vaguely historical rap battles.

I insert a can of Pringles.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on December 11, 2013, 09:32:33 am
You get a fat guy whining about how his hand doesn't fit.

I insert Joss Whedon.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on December 11, 2013, 10:38:08 pm
You get a legion of raving fanboys.

I insert a bottle of sunscreen.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on December 11, 2013, 10:41:40 pm
UV-radiation induced skin cancer vanishes from the universe.

I insert an obscure fandom.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on December 12, 2013, 05:40:16 am
You get a bunch of ruined hipster posts on Tumblr.

I insert a tattoo of someone's genitals.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on December 12, 2013, 05:00:36 pm
You get a guy with alcohol-induced amnesia wondering where he got said tattoo.

I insert my upcoming calculus exam.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on December 12, 2013, 06:53:37 pm
You get an A++!

I insert the blood of a virgin.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on December 12, 2013, 08:51:44 pm
You receive an analysis of the blood sample. It contains a higher-than-normal concentration of fat and caffeine, derived mostly from Cheetos and Mountain Dew.

(you never specified the virgin's sex.)

I insert Ted Cruz.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on December 12, 2013, 09:51:55 pm
You get Tom Cruise and a bunch of angry voters.

I insert Dr. Evil.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on December 12, 2013, 10:58:26 pm
You get Dr. Horrible.

I insert Sarah Palin.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on December 17, 2013, 07:10:16 pm
You get an even bigger version of the Bridge to Nowhere intended to connect Alaska to Russia.

I insert a giant floating head.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on December 17, 2013, 08:15:20 pm
You get a clinking clanking clattering collection of caliginous JUNK!

I insert Wicked.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on January 10, 2014, 10:07:20 pm
You get THE NOYVE!!!!

I insert a baby.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 10, 2014, 11:02:06 pm
You get a shaved monkey.

I insert the concept of politics.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on January 11, 2014, 02:30:35 am
You get the concept of unintentional comedy.

I insert a mad scientist and the Large Hadron Collider.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on January 11, 2014, 03:38:12 am
You get sentient atoms.

I insert the fanboys upset over PazKat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on January 18, 2014, 07:40:00 pm
You get a pool of molten lava. Also, you are now on fire.

I insert a lit stick of dynamite.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on January 18, 2014, 09:56:17 pm
You get a Roadrunner cartoon.

I insert 7 zettabytes of "explicit images" into Cerberus's network, most of it Joker's. (That was a joke.)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 18, 2014, 11:05:54 pm
You get investigated by the FBI.

I insert the most twisted fantasies of Tenchi Muyo shippers.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on January 19, 2014, 06:53:10 pm
You get Motherfucking Cthulhu. Specifically, your mother.

I insert a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on January 19, 2014, 07:34:48 pm
You get Motherfucking Cthulhu. Specifically, your mother.

I insert a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick.
You get a mug of Butterbeer.

I insert 500 in Japanese yen.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on January 19, 2014, 07:44:16 pm
you get something from SCP-261.

I insert Rockman Steel.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on January 19, 2014, 08:51:16 pm
You get rabid Mega Man fans.

I insert a little black kitten.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 19, 2014, 08:53:23 pm
You get an angry black panther.

I insert a little black puppy.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on January 19, 2014, 08:55:20 pm
You get Remus Lupin.

I insert an internet bitchfight about who would win in a fight between the Enterprise and the Normandy SR-2.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on January 20, 2014, 04:20:57 am
You get Captain Picard and Commander Shepard both telling the idiots to shut the fuck up.

I insert a wildebeest.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 20, 2014, 03:15:52 pm
You get a wild beast.

I insert the most twisted fantasies of the most twisted shippers of all time.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on January 20, 2014, 03:28:15 pm
You get a wild beast.

I insert the most twisted fantasies of the most twisted shippers of all time.
[DATA REDACTED UNDER 05 ORDERS] containment has yet to be reestablished.


I insert a creeper.

 
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on January 20, 2014, 05:35:28 pm
You get somebody climbin' in yo windows, snatchin' yo people up...

I insert a wet cat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 20, 2014, 05:55:21 pm
You get asked why you don't like a wet pussy.

I insert Orcrist.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on January 20, 2014, 11:12:23 pm
You get Excalibur


I insert the Displacer Gun from Half-Life Opposing Force. 
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on January 21, 2014, 12:26:25 am
You get a (rather pissed-off) Displacer Beast from Dungeons & Dragons.

I insert a list of all the nonsensical technobabble ever mentioned in Star Trek.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on January 21, 2014, 01:06:57 am
Do to a quantum hyperstring manipulator malfunction the plasma-couplets are unable to reestablish a stable polarity with a module in the overdrive conduits.

I insert SCP-914 
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on January 21, 2014, 08:35:53 am
You get [Date Expunged]


I insert the Ethics Committee.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 21, 2014, 10:06:10 am
You get the heaping pile of cash they sold their professional integrity for.

I insert "Jesus Christ Superstar" and "The Passion of the Christ".
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on January 21, 2014, 02:23:52 pm
You get a mass of angry fundies bitching about the "sacrilegious abomination" you hath wrought.

I insert my phantom tail.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on January 21, 2014, 08:48:53 pm
It gets broken off since you were really a lizardkin. Don't worry, it'll grow back.

I insert a train.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on January 21, 2014, 09:06:51 pm
You get the I Like Trains Kid from asdfmovie3.

I insert Mine Turtle.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on January 21, 2014, 09:47:05 pm
You get the I Like Trains Kid from asdfmovie3.

I insert Mine Turtle.
(http://static.planetminecraft.com/files/resource_media/screenshot/1341/minecraft_creeper_6520440_lrg.jpg)
Thatsssssssssss a niccccccccce forum you got there.
You get a Creeper.

I insert a Creeper.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on February 07, 2014, 10:43:13 am
You get a Crawler.

I insert Peter Jackson and Michael Jackson.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on February 07, 2014, 11:01:12 am
Don't go there


I insert a brony.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on February 07, 2014, 11:30:47 am
You get EqD.

I insert DOO WEE OOO
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on February 12, 2014, 06:22:39 pm
You get a 12-pack of flying monkeys.

I insert the year 2025.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on February 12, 2014, 06:33:10 pm
You get President Hillary Clinton.

I insert an Ok Go album.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on February 12, 2014, 08:44:00 pm
You get ear orgasms (I like Ok Go...a lot)


I insert one of the patients from the Creepypasta Russian Sleep Experiment.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on February 12, 2014, 09:33:04 pm
You get ear orgasms (I like Ok Go...a lot)


I insert one of the patients from the Creepypasta Russian Sleep Experiment.
So many eyeballs...


I insert Doge.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on February 12, 2014, 11:22:53 pm
such shibe. much comic sans. very internet. wow.

I insert Ironbite.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on February 13, 2014, 02:11:15 am
You get Ironchew.

I insert a juggalo and someone who knows how magnets work.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on February 13, 2014, 09:00:54 pm
You get Ironchew.

I insert a juggalo and someone who knows how magnets work.

You get an idiot with a hatchet in his gut that is irremovable due to the super-strong magnet they swallowed, and someone whose murder charge is dropped on grounds of self-defense.

I insert [your favorite Asian food].
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on February 14, 2014, 02:33:02 am
You get several sexy catgirls, a bottle of tequila, and the entire works of Tolkien written in Swedish.

I insert a memetic kill agent.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Indikins on February 14, 2014, 10:38:58 pm
You get the corpses of everyone on this forum.

I insert the worst thing in the world.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on February 14, 2014, 10:54:18 pm
You get a hangnail.

I insert TvTropes.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on February 15, 2014, 05:59:30 pm
You get a NinjaPirateZombieRobot driving a HumongousMecha, except he has HiddenDepths and is plotting a XanatosGambit.

I insert a Zerg Rush.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on February 15, 2014, 06:26:58 pm
Thousands of vending machines land on your head.


I insert mah sentry.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on February 15, 2014, 07:46:17 pm
You get a SPAH SAPPEN MAH SENTREE

I insert Batman.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on February 15, 2014, 08:50:51 pm
You get a Batarang up the ass

Ironbite-I insert the mod Project Brazil.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on February 15, 2014, 11:29:08 pm
You get BRBRBRBRBRBRBRBR HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE.

I insert my physics professor.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on February 16, 2014, 10:01:48 am
You get an A+.

I insert I LIEK CHOCOLATE MILK
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: solar. on February 16, 2014, 12:51:59 pm
You get MILK CHOCOLATE

I insert an edge.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on February 16, 2014, 03:07:07 pm
You get a center.

I insert the Purge.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on February 16, 2014, 05:21:26 pm
You get the Binge.

I insert FLOOFY FLOOFY GIZMO
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on February 16, 2014, 06:16:03 pm
You get a gremlin.

I insert every porn "parody" ever made.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on February 18, 2014, 01:53:54 am
Believe it or not,
I'm walkin' on air,
I never thought I could feel so free;
Flyin' away on a wing and a pray'r,
Who could it be?
Believe it or not, it's just me.



I insert Your favorite LP'r.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on February 18, 2014, 02:02:08 am
You get the Sonic 06 goons.

I insert Ultie and give the machine a kick.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on February 18, 2014, 05:33:08 pm
You get the Sonic 06 goons.

I insert Ultie and give the machine a kick.

The machine fires a cannon at you.

Edit:

I insert Chinese firecrackers.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on February 18, 2014, 05:55:08 pm
You get a Chinese fire drill.

I insert the Tootsie Pop Owl.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on February 18, 2014, 07:12:42 pm
You get Winnie the Pooh.

I insert RoboCop.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on February 18, 2014, 07:45:26 pm
You get Judge Dredd.


I insert a crossbow.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on February 18, 2014, 07:47:43 pm
You get an arrow to the knee.

I insert the "woman laughing with salad" meme.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on February 18, 2014, 10:01:39 pm
You get an arrow to the knee.

I insert the "woman laughing with salad" meme.

You get the women eating yogurt and pooping should-be-a-meme.

I insert Megatron.

--Edit: Prime universe.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on February 18, 2014, 10:16:33 pm
The vending machine turns into a giant robot.

I insert a clown wielding a chainsaw.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on February 19, 2014, 09:02:51 am
You get Leatherface wielding a slapstick and balloon animals.

I insert every version of vampires in popular media from 1990 to now, including Twilight's.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on February 19, 2014, 09:40:23 am
You get Buffy Summers staking Edward Cullen. The world rejoices.

I insert an MRA and a Radfem at the same time.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on February 19, 2014, 10:12:58 am
You get Buffy Summers staking Edward Cullen. The world rejoices.

I insert an MRA and a Radfem at the same time.
You get the corpse of a Redditer who is missing most organs and a tumblrite suffering multiple stab wounds to the gut.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on February 19, 2014, 10:55:06 am
After inserting nothing into the machine, you ironically get a textbook on the topic of the conservation of matter.

I insert Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj and Kesha.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on February 19, 2014, 01:28:01 pm
You get Miley Cyrus giving birth while Justin Bieber looks on proudly.

I insert Gustavus Adolphus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on February 21, 2014, 02:26:14 pm
You get Biggus Dickus.

I insert a baby.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on February 21, 2014, 04:40:56 pm
Pro-life protestors burn your house down. You barely escape.

I insert Dr. Kevorkian, the Dalai Lama, and Ted Nugent.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on February 21, 2014, 05:35:11 pm
You get potatoes for some reason.
I insert lizards.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on February 21, 2014, 06:51:24 pm
You get eaten by alligators.

I insert Ken Ham.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on February 21, 2014, 09:41:16 pm
You get ham

I insert a dead body.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Sandafluffoid on February 21, 2014, 09:42:46 pm
You get a suspicious looking tin of 'lunch meat'

I insert the last shreds of my dignity.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on February 21, 2014, 09:44:14 pm
You get a squid pie in the face.

I insert the "Why so serious?" meme.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on February 22, 2014, 01:09:08 am
Shibe Doge eats you.

I insert large quantities of the best yarn ever.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on February 22, 2014, 05:07:16 pm
You get a kitten raving about how much it loves this thread.

I insert an Assassin and a Templar.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on February 22, 2014, 05:08:30 pm
You get an historically improbable fistfight.

I insert Commander Shepard's dancing.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 04, 2014, 10:08:18 pm
You get a bunch of fans complaining about how it could have been better.

I insert five Dogecoins.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on March 08, 2014, 12:32:06 am
You get trolled.

I insert a Tesla coil.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 08, 2014, 01:48:04 am
You get a teleporting xerox.

I insert Tesla and Edison.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on March 08, 2014, 03:17:51 am
Tesla murders Edison. History gives the credit to Edison and remembers the event as a suicide.

I insert your favorite beverage
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 21, 2014, 10:54:32 am
You get a glass containing equal amounts of every forum member's favorite drink. Try it at your own risk.

I insert the Great Attractor.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 21, 2014, 03:55:15 pm
You get a great repeller.

I insert a zepplin.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on March 21, 2014, 04:41:45 pm
You get a rainbow-colored manatee ("Oh, the hue-manatee!")

I insert Tom Hiddleston.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 21, 2014, 05:29:38 pm
You get a bunch of angry members of the revived Norse Pagan movement who complain about blasphemy.

I insert a 1920s Chicago gangster.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on March 22, 2014, 01:59:33 am
You get a massacre with no witnesses. Eventually the perpetrators are caught by the IRS.

I insert the IRS.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 22, 2014, 02:05:07 am
You get screwed. In the ass. With no lubricant. And your pants on.

I insert the CIA, IRS, FBI and NSA.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on March 23, 2014, 04:34:08 pm
Same as above.

I insert a plot device.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on March 23, 2014, 05:04:34 pm
You get NaNoWiMo.

I insert Captain Jean-Luc Picard.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 23, 2014, 05:09:32 pm
You get a thousand arguments about why a Frenchman has a British accent and idolizes Shakespeare so much.

I insert Lieutenant-Commander Data, Keanu Reeves and Bella Swan.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 23, 2014, 10:55:40 pm
The former proves more emotional than the latter two put together.

I insert a random nameless Starfleet security officer.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on March 23, 2014, 11:26:03 pm
You get a corpse.

I insert a plot twist from an M. Night Shyamalan film.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 23, 2014, 11:45:04 pm
You realize that you were the vending machine all along.

I insert my hand and try to grab something from inside.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on March 23, 2014, 11:54:25 pm
Your hand is now a foot.
Nice going, dumbass.


I insert Spacebattles.com
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 24, 2014, 12:13:54 am
You get Spaceballs the Website.

I insert Mel Brooks and his collected works.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 25, 2014, 02:43:04 pm
You get a lot of self-deprecating Jewish humor.

I insert Goatse.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on March 25, 2014, 04:50:23 pm
You get Lemonparty.

I insert Rainbow Dash.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on March 25, 2014, 06:25:20 pm
Rainbow dashes killed, you are given life in prison for 3rd degree murder.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 25, 2014, 07:48:05 pm
I insert I Am Lizard since the lizard failed to insert anything.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on March 25, 2014, 10:56:54 pm
I come out as a nighties anti-hero for some reason.

I insert A MAN!
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 25, 2014, 11:47:52 pm
You get a small amount of wine and some shards of broken glass.

I insert the entire population of Canada.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on March 26, 2014, 12:57:24 am
You get poutine.

I insert a plate of your favorite food, and a plate of the one food you wish would vanish from the planet.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on April 10, 2014, 01:43:15 pm
You get some boring average food.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on April 10, 2014, 01:43:59 pm
I insert Random Guy and decree that all who fail in their insertion duties shall henceforth be inserted themselves.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on April 10, 2014, 01:47:47 pm
You get a sincere apology.

I insert the entire pro-ana subculture and set the machine to Extra Crunchy.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on April 10, 2014, 02:49:37 pm
You get a large pile of bone dust.

I insert the TARDIS.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on April 10, 2014, 03:14:06 pm
You get Sherlock.

I insert Monty Python and Monterey Jack (from "Rescue Rangers").
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on April 10, 2014, 08:49:32 pm
You get something completely different.

I insert a rhinoceros.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on April 11, 2014, 01:56:52 am
You get trampled by a whole herd of them.

I insert Zira from Lion King II
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on April 11, 2014, 02:12:03 am
You become oddly attracted to an animated lion.

I insert Frozen.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on April 11, 2014, 02:39:29 am
You get a tumblr flamewar.

I insert a medigun.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on April 11, 2014, 03:08:43 pm
You get to saw down a tree.

I insert Captain America.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on April 11, 2014, 05:08:48 pm
You do! You understood that reference!

I insert a cat that's stubbornly floating about four feet off the ground in the men's bathroom.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on April 11, 2014, 06:37:50 pm
You get Gravity Cats weird cousin

I insert an Elder God (Yog-Sothoth to be more precise)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on April 13, 2014, 04:17:48 pm
You get insanity.

I open the door, get on the floor, and walk the dinosaur.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on April 13, 2014, 04:25:57 pm
You have to shovel up the 500-lb. dumps it takes.

I insert Jurrasic Park.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on April 13, 2014, 05:31:02 pm
You get eaten by velociraptors.

I insert a kid with no eyes, no ears, no arms, and no legs that got cancer for Christmas.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on April 13, 2014, 10:55:52 pm
You get a speech by Richard Dawkins.

I insert the Devil.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on April 14, 2014, 12:16:43 am
You get [OBVIOUS JOKE ABOUT POLITICIAN].

I insert Dr. Alto Clef.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on April 19, 2014, 01:03:54 pm
A piano falls on your head.

I insert the 80s.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on April 19, 2014, 03:19:51 pm
You get sprayed in the face with a can of hairspray.

I insert the War on Christmas.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on April 19, 2014, 04:49:49 pm
You get Santa Claus nailed to a cross.

I insert a bunny humping a chicken.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on April 19, 2014, 07:02:42 pm
You get Easter eggs and a ruined childhood.

I insert a fistfight between Shepard and Wonder Woman.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on April 26, 2014, 12:22:58 pm
You get a bunch of guys turned on by it.

I insert a lit stick of dynamite and run for cover.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on April 26, 2014, 12:26:44 pm
You get an explosion. What the hell did you expect?

I insert Cecil and Carlos.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on April 29, 2014, 01:28:15 am
You get a boot to the head for choosing an obscure pop culture reference.

I insert Godzilla.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on April 29, 2014, 01:29:23 am
you get me in a good mood.

I insert your favorite TF2 class.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on April 29, 2014, 01:30:24 am
You get a boot to the head for choosing an obscure pop culture reference.

I insert Godzilla.

You get Zogzilla.

I insert 900 cups of green tea. Without sugar.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on April 29, 2014, 05:25:43 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPnZhKRtZ_U

I insert every racist stereotype ever.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on April 29, 2014, 05:31:53 pm
You get a really weird human named Melvin.


I insert all my failed novel ideas.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on April 29, 2014, 08:58:26 pm
You get the next big "Paranormal Teen Romance" series.

I insert $50 worth of weed and Chinese food.

Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on April 29, 2014, 10:19:06 pm
Confucius say, "He who stands on toilet is high on pot."

I insert a d20.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on April 29, 2014, 10:28:38 pm
You roll a one.

I insert the YEET meme.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on April 30, 2014, 02:46:59 am
You get the YOLO meme.

I insert Grumpy Cat, Happy Cat, Ceiling Cat and Basement Cat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on April 30, 2014, 03:19:17 am
You get a cat fight.

I insert the worst song you've ever loved.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on April 30, 2014, 01:19:48 pm
The curtains open, the lights go out. A lone spotlight shines down on a group of British women.

"Girl Power!" they shout.

Terror rises in the audience as the women begin to sing...

Would you rather have a persistent case of athlete's foot or a persistent inner ear infection?
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Veras on May 01, 2014, 11:35:45 am
You get a persistent case of athlete's ear and a persistent inner foot infection, as well as directions to the ask the next poster a question thread.

I insert Rush Limbaugh.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on May 01, 2014, 02:50:44 pm
You get a fat, overprivleged white man bitching about how poor he is to make only a few million a year. In other words, the ruling faction of the Republican Party.

I insert a barbecue.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Sour Grapes on May 11, 2014, 09:16:26 pm
You get a really annoyed cow.

I insert the next big paranormal Teen romance series.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on May 11, 2014, 10:13:43 pm
You get $2.3 million

Ironbite-I insert Optimus Prime from Tranformers Animated.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on May 11, 2014, 10:41:14 pm
You get a group of 20 somethings waxing nostalgic about the 90s.

I insert another vending machine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on May 11, 2014, 11:00:07 pm
You get an exact duplicate of yourself. (which could lead to some interesting scenarios...)

I insert my car.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on May 11, 2014, 11:19:02 pm
You get a small metal cube.

I insert Jeff Dunham and David Copperfield.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Lady Evil on May 23, 2014, 05:55:14 pm
You get a disappearing dummy.

I insert a chicken and George Bush.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Veras on May 23, 2014, 10:13:42 pm
You get yet another George Bush:  George C. Bush.  In 2048, he will become the second poultry-American to be elected President (Harry Byrd's ghost will be the first in 2020).

I insert 75 cents.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on May 23, 2014, 10:14:34 pm
You get a display reading, "Please Insert More Money To Make Your Selection."

I insert Pokemon, MLP:FIM and the Power Rangers.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: solar. on May 23, 2014, 10:20:07 pm
You get a flood of fandom BS.

I insert a taco.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on May 25, 2014, 12:03:03 am
You get a burrito.

I insert That Guy With the Glasses and a terrible, recent movie.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on May 25, 2014, 12:54:26 am
You get high pitch screaming

I insert a sniper rifle
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on May 25, 2014, 01:23:26 am
You get a grassy knoll.

I insert "Watchmen", the comic version of "Wanted" and "The Boys".
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on May 26, 2014, 10:11:37 am
You get a seriously bizarre crossover fanfic.

I insert a battleship.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on May 26, 2014, 10:31:41 am
You get a bad movie.

I insert a clue.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on May 26, 2014, 10:37:19 am
You get Professor Plum in the Dining Room with the Revolver.

I insert my cat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on May 26, 2014, 05:14:52 pm
You are arrested for animal cruelty.

I insert Sasha.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on May 26, 2014, 06:10:50 pm
You get the Heavy beating you to death.

I insert a stegosaurus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on May 26, 2014, 07:35:31 pm
You get Godzilla.

I insert Mothra.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on May 29, 2014, 11:05:01 pm
You get a huge pile of ashes and the world's largest bug zapper.

I insert some gay porn.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on May 30, 2014, 07:41:50 pm
You get a huge pile of ashes and the world's largest bug zapper.

I insert some gay porn.

Westboro Baptists protest the machine.

I insert Butterfree and some Pokepuffs.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on June 10, 2014, 01:20:02 pm
You get Confused. And then you hurt yourself in your confusion.

I insert a Gelatinous Cube.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on June 10, 2014, 02:41:04 pm
You get eaten by The Blob.

I insert Star Trek: Deep Space 9
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on June 10, 2014, 05:00:04 pm
You get endless fan arguments over who was sexier, Jadzia Dax or Major Kira.

I insert every Star Trek novel ever written.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on June 10, 2014, 05:51:20 pm
The Enterprise encounters yet another strange anomaly, which turns out to be a massive continuity snarl.

I insert all the technobabble I can throw at it.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on June 10, 2014, 09:40:24 pm
And once again, the day is saved!

I insert Mojo Jojo.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on June 10, 2014, 10:38:11 pm
NOT SO FAST, FERAL DOG!

I insert a deerskin suitcase full of flies.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Lady Evil on June 16, 2014, 05:25:52 pm
You get a book report written by someone who couldn't remember if they were supposed to read Last of the Mohicans or Lord of the Flies, so they just watched Pulp Fiction.

I insert a shrieking cockatoo
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on July 13, 2014, 10:37:34 pm
You get a thing of fried chicken. Well, it's some kind of bird...

I insert the next poster.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on July 13, 2014, 11:10:13 pm
You get a ghoti out of water.

I insert my brother's cat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on July 13, 2014, 11:15:15 pm
You get a new cat-headed overlord.

Ironbite-I insert the ball pit from Dashcon.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on July 13, 2014, 11:22:28 pm
You get hurt trying to play in it.

I insert my sister.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on July 13, 2014, 11:31:31 pm
You get a robotic waterfowl.

I insert myself, with much face-wrangling.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on July 14, 2014, 12:27:00 am
You get Jace, Mind Sculptor.


*inserts some variously colored sand*
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on July 14, 2014, 01:38:44 am
You get a sand rainbow.

I insert a cocain.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on July 14, 2014, 10:48:31 am
You get a bunch of a white powder spilling out on your face while the machine makes lewd comments about your mother and calls you a faithless slime.

I insert a Pazuzu statue.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on July 14, 2014, 03:58:38 pm
You get Pun-Pun.

I insert a PS3 hard drive
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on July 14, 2014, 04:24:29 pm
You get nostril fucked by God of War 3

Ironbite-I insert Chrom.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on July 14, 2014, 04:44:40 pm
You get Conan the Barbarian.

I insert all games published by White Wolf and Onyx Path.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on July 14, 2014, 05:01:57 pm
You get a nerd who rants about how Vampires are responsible for everything.

I insert my tongue and one of my many neoplasms.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on July 15, 2014, 04:22:04 pm
You get a nerd who rants about how Vampires are responsible for everything.

I insert my tongue and one of my many neoplasms.

You get the strangest tongue piercings.

I insert one fan of each: MLP:FIM, Dr. Who, Atlas Shrugged, and the Michael Bay Transformers series.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on July 15, 2014, 10:58:48 pm
You get Dashcon 2k15!

Ironbite-I insert the 3 flippered turtle from the Baltimore National Aquarium.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on July 15, 2014, 11:19:21 pm
You get a pig-nosed turtle.

I insert Ironchew, plus a neoplasm of Gold Plastic Syndrome.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on July 21, 2014, 11:43:38 pm
such shine
wow
so gold

I insert the Pope.

@V: Pope...rabbit...I don't get it.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on July 22, 2014, 12:30:08 am
You get a badly-animated rabbit. (Edit: It's a South Park reference)

I insert a dragon.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on July 22, 2014, 01:13:14 pm
You get Hirum McDaniels.

I insert my roommate.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on July 22, 2014, 08:18:02 pm
You get a pile of dirty dishes and laundry with a note saying "I was gonna get to that, like, tomorrow, I swear!"

I insert a Humongous Mecha.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on July 22, 2014, 10:34:47 pm
You get Ironbite.

I insert all of Ironchew's stashes of cocaine, meth, Pan Galactic Gargle Shotguns, humping robot speedballs, ground-down Woody Woodpecker,  and coca-cola. 
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on July 22, 2014, 10:45:11 pm
You get Robot Chicken.

I insert Tyrion Lannister.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 02, 2014, 06:53:44 pm
You get a bunch of dead bodies accompanied by shocked screaming from the fandom.

I insert bun/buns/bunself.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 02, 2014, 08:44:09 pm
You get smacked in the face, as you should.

I insert Reid's season 9 haircut.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on September 02, 2014, 09:49:19 pm
You get my anus. Lovely, isn't it?

I insert Ironchew.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 02, 2014, 10:06:36 pm
Much troll, very flame. Wow.

I insert Ceiling Cat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on September 02, 2014, 10:48:20 pm
You get soil cat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 03, 2014, 12:32:38 am
You get 100 tons of bricks dropped on your head for your failure to insert something.

I insert David J. Stewart, the Pope, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, Richard Dawkins, and a bear.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on September 03, 2014, 12:47:25 am
You get blood.

I insert my 32 chapter erotic Shrek fanfiction.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Iczerfour on September 03, 2014, 01:10:21 am
you get a sonic the hedgehog fan fiction where sonic goes ultra evil and goes rape crazy on everyone and everything

I insert a Crappy Silver ravenwolf book on Halloween
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on September 03, 2014, 04:54:47 am
You get a single sign etched in arcane runes that translate to "Ravenholm. U shouldn't come here". As you ponder on what this means, a mad monk holding a 12-gauge double-barreled shotgun shoots you in the head and leaves you lying bleeding on the floor.

I insert a Headcrab.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on September 03, 2014, 12:10:03 pm
You get a facehugger

I insert a Shpee.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 03, 2014, 02:27:11 pm
You get a Shmoo.

I insert the entire United States Congress.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Eiki-mun on September 03, 2014, 03:19:29 pm
You get a bill to impeach Obama. That's it, I'm afraid.

I insert one volcano bakemeat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 12, 2014, 08:02:18 pm
You get it back way too well done.

I insert Honey Boo Boo.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 26, 2014, 11:16:02 pm
I unjam the vending machine and insert Bob from Accounting.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on October 27, 2014, 12:19:09 am
You get meat.

I insert an ubercharge.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on October 29, 2014, 02:39:51 am
You get an ubermensch.

I insert a full orchestra.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on October 29, 2014, 08:51:05 am
You get an 8-track tape.

I insert my stupid alcoholic roommate.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 29, 2014, 09:57:02 am
You get a puddle of boozy puke.

I insert my cat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 29, 2014, 09:59:26 am
You get a lot of hissing and snarling.

I insert a d20.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on October 29, 2014, 01:14:23 pm
You get every d&d book ever published, no matter the edition.


*Inserts mjolnir*
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 29, 2014, 02:32:44 pm
You get struck by lightning.

I insert moar dakka.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on October 29, 2014, 02:49:19 pm
You get nothing because the machine is currently a find cloud of ashes.

I insert my incredible class and intellect.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 29, 2014, 04:25:11 pm
You get a top hat and a monocle.

I insert an Iron Golem.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on October 29, 2014, 05:44:24 pm
You get the Iron Chef.

I insert country music.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on October 29, 2014, 06:10:57 pm
You get Nashville Squared


I insert all my D's and F's from all the Maths classes I've taken(which is about 23 I believe)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 29, 2014, 06:15:46 pm
You get a degree in art.

I insert an elderly man shouting at Siri.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 30, 2014, 12:06:42 pm
You get a set of driving directions that lead off a 1000-foot cliff.

I insert my fist in a very forceful manner.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on October 30, 2014, 06:50:56 pm
You get a broken hand covered in shards of glass.


I insert Big Boss, Solid Snake, Liquid Snake and Solidus Snake.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on October 30, 2014, 10:54:55 pm
You get the cobras.


*inserts the moon*
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on October 30, 2014, 11:03:51 pm
You get a giant naked ass.

I insert "American Horror Story".
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on October 30, 2014, 11:50:55 pm
You get a convoluted clusterfuck deep-fried an served with barbecue sauce.

I cautiously insert #GamerGate.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on October 30, 2014, 11:56:45 pm
You get no let's not start that here.


I insert a nacked women with boobs
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on October 30, 2014, 11:57:14 pm
You get a horde of MRAs.

I insert my cockhole boss.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 31, 2014, 10:41:34 am
You get a pink slip.

I insert Pewdiepie.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on October 31, 2014, 04:04:12 pm
You get a bunch of whiny YouTubers

I insert alternatehistory.com
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on October 31, 2014, 04:16:28 pm
You get this:
(http://www.terminally-incoherent.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/robot-lincoln1.jpg)

I insert a nuclear bomb.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on October 31, 2014, 04:26:31 pm
Out pops a tiny little Madman.

I insert the contents of my bladder.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on November 03, 2014, 09:54:13 pm
You get arrested for public urination.

I insert $1.75 and select "Dr.Pepper"
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on November 03, 2014, 09:59:22 pm
You get pepper-sprayed by a psychiatrist.

I insert "The Walking Dead".
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on November 04, 2014, 06:51:22 pm
You get CARL!!!!


I insert Doctor Doom.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on November 10, 2014, 03:05:57 pm
You get the Temple of Doom, and the Castle of Doom, and the Maze of Doom, and everything else that's ever had "of Doom" added on to the end of it.

I insert George Washington.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on November 10, 2014, 07:04:50 pm
You get a cannibal cult. (Look up the short story "The Washingtonians" or the "Masters of Horror" episode based on it.)

I insert Torchwood.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on November 10, 2014, 07:10:58 pm
You get warehouse 13 and Shadow the hedgehog.

I insert my Desperate Housewives fanfiction.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on November 10, 2014, 07:12:16 pm
You get an eldrech abomination


I insert all the incarnations of the Master.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on November 10, 2014, 07:16:21 pm
You get the Submissive.

I insert Pathfinder.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on November 12, 2014, 05:01:11 pm
You get a bunch of neckbeards arguing about whether it was better than various editions of D&D.

I insert Bigfoot, Santa Claus, and an honest politician.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on November 12, 2014, 05:54:38 pm
You get weed.

I insert a hudda
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on December 06, 2014, 11:37:57 pm
You get HURRRRRRRRR.

I insert your mom.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on December 08, 2014, 07:47:36 pm
You get all the guys online who've apparently slept with her.

I insert the Grim Reaper in a Santa suit.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on December 09, 2014, 06:54:41 am
You sprout shiny new testicles.

I insert The Fonz, and the jury from Twelve Angry Men.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on December 09, 2014, 02:54:22 pm
You get an official conviction of Shark Jumping with the sentence of death (by being fed to the aforementioned shark).

I insert an Ancient Gold Dragon.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on December 09, 2014, 04:08:24 pm
You get a golden shower.

I insert two servings of milk and one each of lemonade and fudge.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on January 06, 2015, 12:17:40 pm
You get a violently sick reaction. Apparently your mixing skills need work.

I insert a Bat Credit Card.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 06, 2015, 01:36:20 pm
You get bats in your belfry and a terrible credit score.

I insert the U.S. prison system.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on January 06, 2015, 06:11:25 pm
You get the American school system.

I insert a stupid argument.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on January 06, 2015, 06:15:43 pm
You get Shillgate.

I insert my dick a bearded dragon.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on January 06, 2015, 06:35:46 pm
You get a dragon sans beard.

I insert my Bad Thoughts Jar.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on January 07, 2015, 12:39:57 am
You get a stream of door to door god salesmen who bought your name and list from a third party marketing firm.

I put in some tasteful, classy yet very provocative lingerie.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: RavynousHunter on January 07, 2015, 08:15:22 am
You get used briefs with skidmarks.

I insert Davedan.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on January 29, 2015, 01:20:41 am
You get Dandave, his evil twin.

I insert a hot pocket.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on January 29, 2015, 01:29:41 am
You get a condom with badly-made pizza ingredients inside.

I insert furries.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on January 29, 2015, 04:07:55 am
You get the Furies from Greek mythology.


I insert a Ring of Three Wishes
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on February 05, 2015, 08:39:21 pm
You get a stoner in sunglasses yelling at you about 3d sex dicks in the White House.

I insert a IMI Desert Eagle.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on February 10, 2015, 12:54:09 pm
You get a new desert eagle. But the actual bird.

I insert workplace drama.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on February 10, 2015, 04:06:55 pm
You get a pink slip.

I insert That Guy.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on February 10, 2015, 06:19:07 pm
Out pops Ironchew.

I insert a professional 3d sex dick at the White House.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on February 10, 2015, 06:56:21 pm
You get Bill Clinton.

I insert the anime "Petshop of Horrors".
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 06, 2015, 11:33:23 am
You get that one urban legend about people bringing back a giant rat they thought was a chihuahua.

I insert a walrus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 06, 2015, 01:43:08 pm
You get an eggman.

I insert Blade, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Alucard from "Hellsing".
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 06, 2015, 03:47:00 pm
You get Edward Cullen's corpse with a stake in it.

I insert Canada.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on March 06, 2015, 10:43:19 pm
You get a moose covered in maple syrup and free healthcare.

I insert an orange.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 06, 2015, 10:54:25 pm
You get an apple.

I insert the worst movies from the Elm Street, Halloween and Friday the 13th series.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Lady Evil on March 11, 2015, 05:23:12 pm
You get the Saw series.

I insert strawberries and dark chocolate.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on March 11, 2015, 06:45:36 pm
You get chocolate-covered strawberries. What the hell did you expect?

I insert a bunch of Moonbase Alpha players singing "Space Oddity".
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on March 12, 2015, 02:02:36 pm
You get aliens.

I insert Sir Terry Pratchett, his collected works and the oceans of tears left in the wake of his passing.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on March 15, 2015, 04:28:39 am
An orangutan makes you an honorary librarian. You can now access L-space.

I insert the weirdest person you ever RP'd with.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on March 15, 2015, 11:02:43 am
You get a a bookworm of a Dalek, and his harem of cyclopean robot women.

I insert my copy of the sacred tome of Rogue Trader.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 24, 2015, 03:23:42 pm
You get a copy of the Wall Street Journal.

I insert the most recent common ancestor of humans and chimpanzees.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Meshakhad on March 27, 2015, 04:17:59 pm
You get Tiktaalik.

I insert Season Two of Archer.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on June 01, 2015, 01:05:07 am
You get an angry note regarding the insertion of obscure pop culture references.

I insert my dick.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Cloud3514 on June 01, 2015, 03:20:08 am
An arm reaches out and slaps you for not using a condom.

I insert my cell phone.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on June 01, 2015, 08:53:14 am
You get dick pics from politicians.

I insert in-the-closet politicians who pass anti-gay laws while carrying on gay affairs. Double points if their partner is underage.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on June 02, 2015, 11:40:58 pm
You get a fat stack of cash. There are right now something like 28 GOP candidates running for the party's nomination. That fast stack of cash comes from the managers of other campaigns.

I insert Meshakhad.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on June 04, 2015, 11:35:17 pm
You get the Evil Jew Guy from all those racist political cartoons.

I insert the Loch Ness Monster.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on June 07, 2015, 07:46:31 pm
You get Bigfoot.

I insert Rod Serling.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Cloud3514 on June 10, 2015, 12:16:36 am
You get this strange feeling that something is off, but you can't put your finger on it. You eventually go insane from this feeling.

I put my now violated cellphone in and walk away while flipping the machine off instead of waiting to see what comes out.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on June 20, 2015, 04:09:45 pm
You get a brick to the back of your head for your trouble.

I insert a Gelatinous Cube.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Cloud3514 on July 24, 2015, 01:40:11 am
You get a partially digested red shirt.

I insert a bloody brick.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on July 24, 2015, 01:44:00 am
It keeps flying back at you. Try trying to smooth it out along the side of the machine. Or see if someone around has a body brick they'll trade you.

I insert some tacos.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Veras on July 24, 2015, 02:19:29 am
The vending machine gets explosive diarrhea.

I insert a dose of Pepto Bismol.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on July 25, 2015, 07:50:00 pm
The vending machine gets explosive diarrhea.

I insert a dose of Pepto Bismol.

you get ham. lots of it.

i insert regret.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on July 25, 2015, 08:59:18 pm
You get a playset of every Magic: the gatering card worth less than a dollar.

I insert every character in fiction named Alucard.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 02, 2015, 09:51:22 am
You pass out after half your blood has been drained.

I insert TheContrarian.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on August 02, 2015, 09:55:09 am
You get a troll that fails at trolling


I insert my namesake.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on August 02, 2015, 10:50:52 am
You get a troll that fails at trolling


I insert my namesake.

you get a box of scrabble.

i insert a webcomic.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on August 02, 2015, 11:36:03 am
You get cardboard crack.

I insert a Black Lotus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on August 02, 2015, 07:27:09 pm
You get a White Lotus member who looks awfully confused as to where the Avatar is.

Ironbite-I insert my ignore list.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on August 02, 2015, 08:44:16 pm
ultie is suddenly very confused.

i insert sigmaleph.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on August 02, 2015, 08:52:35 pm
You get Fqa!

I insert Tvtropes
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on August 02, 2015, 09:30:06 pm
You get that one weird dude who's name escapes me.



I insert soon to be crappy Naruto Live Action movie that Lionsgate is making.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on August 02, 2015, 09:41:23 pm
You get Dragonball Evolution. Sorry.

I insert FATAL
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on August 02, 2015, 09:53:11 pm
You get Dragonball Evolution. Sorry.

I insert FATAL

you get your anus distended by a giant d20.

i insert csi: las vegas.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Cloud3514 on August 02, 2015, 10:25:27 pm
You get disappointment. And a lot of it.

I smooth out the bloody brick and try it again.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 03, 2015, 02:59:01 am
You get crushed under a pile of falling bricks.

I insert Cloud3514's mangled corpse.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Cloud3514 on August 05, 2015, 03:22:29 am
I LIVE!!!!!

I insert myself.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on August 05, 2015, 07:24:33 am
I LIVE!!!!!

I insert myself.

you live, you die, you live again.

i insert mad max's collection of freaky cars.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: TheL on August 05, 2015, 09:04:58 pm
You get the Flintstones' shitty pedal-powered car. 

I insert random doll parts.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on August 05, 2015, 09:15:10 pm
You get a couch! (I don't know why)


I insert Internet Explorer 4 and Netscape Navigator.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on August 06, 2015, 02:34:16 pm
You get Dig Dug and a Commodore 64.

I insert a medium sized rabbit
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on August 06, 2015, 02:35:37 pm
You get the Killer Rabbit of Caernabog! Good luck with that.

I insert the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on August 06, 2015, 03:16:41 pm
You get the Killer Rabbit of Caernabog! Good luck with that.

I insert the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!

you get dyscalculia. (look it up)

i insert a haircut.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Cloud3514 on August 08, 2015, 11:43:43 pm
You get Donald Trump's toupee.

I insert a bottle of Coke.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: TheL on August 09, 2015, 11:32:52 am
You get Pepsi.

I insert a broken knitting needle.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Damen on August 09, 2015, 04:35:08 pm
You get the Shroud of Turin.

I insert a broken motorcycle clutch.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Cloud3514 on August 10, 2015, 06:35:44 pm
You get a car's clutch pedal.

I put in a Pepsi.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Damen on August 10, 2015, 08:04:23 pm
You get a bottle of coke.

I put in an aspirin.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on August 11, 2015, 04:31:03 am
You get a bottle of coke.

I put in an aspirin.

you get suds.

i put in a hamster.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 14, 2015, 05:16:50 am
You get a giant robot made out of cars. (oops, wrong post)
You get a small amount of meat.

I insert stuff.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on August 14, 2015, 11:57:08 am
You get a giant robot made of cars.

Ironbite-I insert a Kaiju.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: TheL on August 14, 2015, 06:01:21 pm
You get an adorable little lizard.

I insert a Pokeball.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Damen on August 14, 2015, 09:15:27 pm
You get shocked by pikachu.

I insert caffeine pills.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on August 14, 2015, 09:36:40 pm
You get shocked by pikachu.

I insert caffeine pills.

you get caffeine bullet time.

i insert a portal.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 14, 2015, 11:05:35 pm
You get the endpoint to that portal, directly above you. All the stuff that was previously inserted into the vending machine falls out of it and crushes you.

I insert the Kama Sutra.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on August 15, 2015, 07:25:19 am
You get the endpoint to that portal, directly above you. All the stuff that was previously inserted into the vending machine falls out of it and crushes you.

I insert the Kama Sutra.

you get a stone carving of a lewd sex act.

i insert a pet rock.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on August 15, 2015, 10:08:25 am
You get Rock Biter from Neverending Story.


I insert all of my failed fanfic ideas.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on August 15, 2015, 05:55:54 pm
You get them all back with spell check and edits.

Ironbite-I insert a 737
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 15, 2015, 07:55:01 pm
You get a tornado with the contents of a junkyard in it.

I insert a giant robot made of cars.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on August 15, 2015, 10:19:56 pm
You get Menasor and he's not very happy.  Well he's never very happy but you get the drift

Ironbite-I insert a giant robot made of planes.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on August 16, 2015, 06:08:10 am
You get Menasor and he's not very happy.  Well he's never very happy but you get the drift

Ironbite-I insert a giant robot made of planes.

you get an airbus assembly line, personnel and all.

i insert gummy bears.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Cloud3514 on August 16, 2015, 11:21:20 am
The vending machine looks at you and says "FUCKING REALLY?!?!"

I insert a Coke.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on August 16, 2015, 01:26:17 pm
The vending machine looks at you and says "FUCKING REALLY?!?!"

I insert a Coke.

you get a dollar.

i insert pepto-bismol for that poor machine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Cloud3514 on August 17, 2015, 02:10:54 am
You get blood.

I pocket the dollar and walk away.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on August 18, 2015, 08:22:37 am
the machine says "feed me".

i insert a thought.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: TheL on August 18, 2015, 06:08:13 pm
You get a horrible fanfic loosely based on that thought.

I insert a puppy.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Damen on August 19, 2015, 02:00:06 am
You got a blood curdling yelp followed by grinding and ripping sounds and a package of hot dogs falls in your lap.

I insert life.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on August 19, 2015, 05:45:55 pm
You get something not as we know it.

Ironbite-I insert 5 fish.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 19, 2015, 07:06:42 pm
You get a seal which lets out a burp and "arf"s happily.

I insert a combination chainsaw/machine gun/guitar.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: TheL on August 19, 2015, 07:32:35 pm
You get a melted vending machine.  A new one has to be installed.

I insert a linoleum sample.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on August 21, 2015, 01:05:58 pm
you get plastic explosives (detonator not included).

i insert batman.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on August 21, 2015, 10:26:23 pm
You get Ben Affleck.

I insert a decent frozen pizza.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Damen on August 22, 2015, 01:05:14 am
You get a Dominos pizza.

I insert used motor oil.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on August 22, 2015, 08:10:25 am
You get a Dominos pizza.

I insert used motor oil.

you get detroit.

i insert isis (the goddess).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Damen on August 22, 2015, 01:27:41 pm
You get ISIS (the terrorists), and really, were you expecting anything else?

I insert the Library of Congress.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on August 22, 2015, 10:20:56 pm
You get Chester A. Arthur's presidential library.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on August 23, 2015, 12:50:30 am
You get the same nothingness that you inserted. The vending machine looks lonely.

I insert Donald Trump.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on August 23, 2015, 02:09:10 pm
You get a bag of hot air.


I insert a Strogg from Quake.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on August 23, 2015, 02:43:47 pm
You get ISIS (the terrorists), and really, were you expecting anything else?

i was actually expecting a very confused lolcat.

@zygarde:

you get human meat strogg-anoff.

i insert a concert.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: TheL on August 24, 2015, 02:58:17 pm
You get a concertina. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concertina)

I insert a raggedy old blanket.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on August 24, 2015, 11:37:54 pm
You get jumped by Linus and Snoopy trying to get their blanket back.

I insert whatever animal had to die for Donald Trump's hairpiece.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on August 25, 2015, 02:19:50 am
You get a golden retriever.


I insert David Bowie's package circa Labyrinth.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Even Then on August 30, 2015, 10:38:22 pm
You get a sexually questioning teenage boy.

I insert myself.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on August 31, 2015, 05:16:33 am
You get a sexually questioning teenage boy.

I insert myself.

you get a beer gut.

i insert a case of lukewarm beer.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on August 31, 2015, 08:47:40 am
You get a note reading "105°(F) beer? What the hell, man?"

I insert my paycheck.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on August 31, 2015, 09:58:56 am
You get royally pissed off when you realise you're not getting it back.

I insert a dead horse.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on August 31, 2015, 10:00:23 am
You get royally pissed off when you realise you're not getting it back.

I insert a dead horse.

you get a beating stick.

i insert a shark. an incredibly morose looking shark.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on September 01, 2015, 08:49:33 am
You get Robert Shaw and Roy Schneider.

I insert one of the old 50s films they'd show in schools about how you're supposed to hide under your desk in the event of a nuclear bomb.

Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on September 01, 2015, 09:40:37 am
You get Robert Shaw and Roy Schneider.

I insert one of the old 50s films they'd show in schools about how you're supposed to hide under your desk in the event of a nuclear bomb.

you get a vault boy sporting a shit-eating grin.

i insert said shit-eating grin.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on September 01, 2015, 01:57:36 pm
You get a punched face

I insert a sociopathic space alien with an inferiority complex.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Even Then on September 02, 2015, 01:03:48 am
You get a Rapture Ready user.

I insert homoeroticism.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: I am lizard on September 02, 2015, 01:21:54 am
you extend your thick, bulging, arms to reach do into the machine. You grasp the homoeroticism in your soft, nimble hands as you slowly move it into your mouth.


I insert 5 kilos of smack
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Even Then on September 02, 2015, 09:23:23 am
You get five kilos worth of hands smacking your face.

I insert Heterosexuals Inspiring Pride.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on September 07, 2015, 06:41:41 am
you get somebody completely missing the point.

i insert 4chan.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Even Then on September 07, 2015, 07:02:14 am
You get a 11-year-old.

I insert a disembodied penis.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on September 07, 2015, 09:39:00 am
You get the enraged person you took it from.

I insert Darth Vader, Voldemort and Sauron.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 07, 2015, 05:35:39 pm
You get Fred Phelps, who was apparently too disgusting for any of the people you inserted.

I insert a lit stick of dynamite.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on September 08, 2015, 12:08:58 am
A crazy mouse puts it in your back pocket as you walk away.

I insert a hippie van.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on September 08, 2015, 05:25:15 pm
You get a talking great dane.

Ironbite-I insert 5000 lbs of fish.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on September 09, 2015, 06:33:23 am
you get a hungry godzilla.

i insert a dj.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Even Then on September 09, 2015, 06:48:08 am
You get a mediocre beat interspersed with autotune singing.

I insert Autotune Jesus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 15, 2015, 03:46:23 pm
You get Satan playing heavy metal.

I insert a dead body.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on September 15, 2015, 04:38:22 pm
You get Satan playing heavy metal.

I insert a dead body.

you get a receipt and a robotic voice says "have a nice day".

i insert the killer of the dead body.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Even Then on September 15, 2015, 04:46:08 pm
You get the dead body.

I insert Mark Fonney's severed dick.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on September 18, 2015, 09:41:44 am
You get John Bobbit.

I insert every screen version of "Frankenstein" ever, including the comedies and porn parodies.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Even Then on September 21, 2015, 11:59:32 pm
You get a Frankenstein's monster composed of all of the film reels and DVD and Blu-Ray disks. It kills you.

I insert heteronormativity.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 22, 2015, 02:39:55 am
You get The Discourse. My condolences.

I insert an Animal Crossing town that's been neglected for years.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Even Then on September 22, 2015, 02:52:51 am
You get a creepypasta.

I insert the dead pig that David Cameron allegedly fucked.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Ghoti on September 22, 2015, 06:16:36 am
You get Miss Piggy.

I insert a bunch of wasted potential.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on September 22, 2015, 08:08:27 am
The government thinks you're a public school and cuts your funding.

I insert a railroad baron from a cheesy Western movie.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 22, 2015, 02:05:55 pm
You get a screaming woman tied to the railroad tracks.

I insert a steam locomotive.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on September 22, 2015, 06:12:18 pm
You get hit with a Whirling Dervish by the Vaudvillians.

Ironbite-I insert Pantless Vince.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Even Then on September 22, 2015, 06:21:09 pm
You get laid.

I insert Ironbite.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on September 22, 2015, 06:22:15 pm
You get the heat death of the universe from the quantum singularity that powers me.

Ironbite-I insert the Silver Surfer.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Even Then on September 22, 2015, 06:28:18 pm
You get a shitty movie.

I insert Seth McFarlane.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on September 23, 2015, 12:34:35 pm
You get a shitty movie, a sequel, an at best meh show, and 2 spinoffs.

I insert Weird Al Yankovic.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 26, 2015, 11:12:11 am
You get a box of one dozen starving crazed weasels.

I insert Richard Nixon.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on September 26, 2015, 11:49:45 am
You get a box of one dozen starving crazed weasels.

I insert Richard Nixon.

you get a scandal.

i insert a sandal, not a scandal.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on September 26, 2015, 02:43:31 pm
You get 352 million tons of sand.


I insert the concept of the color silver.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on September 26, 2015, 10:45:47 pm
You get a box of 64 Crayolas.

I insert 5 tumblrinas.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on September 27, 2015, 12:50:08 am
You get 57 different sets of pronouns for all of their headmates.

I insert a Triceratops.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on September 27, 2015, 01:25:56 am
You get a beipiaosaurus (specifically, B. Inexpectus).


I insert contrasts.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: guizonde on September 27, 2015, 08:31:23 am
you get shades  8). (sorry, couldn't resist).

i insert gary moore.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on February 09, 2016, 01:26:08 am
You get a guitar covered in blue paint.

I insert Donald Trump.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on February 09, 2016, 08:11:07 am
You get the parasitic growth atop his head.

I insert every media iteration of Lucifer, including the crime-procedural version currently on Fox.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Even Then on February 09, 2016, 01:11:22 pm
You get people who worship Lucifer as the bringer of free will unto mankind.

I insert a Nice Guy (tm).
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on February 09, 2016, 03:56:26 pm
You get a whiny little bitch who thinks he's entitled to everything...oh wait, it was the same guy you put in.

I insert Art Vandelay.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Sleepy on February 09, 2016, 05:03:10 pm
You get a mailbox full of poo.

I insert $1 million.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on February 09, 2016, 06:17:45 pm
You get the manically laughing head of the anthropomorphic representation of the right-wing.


I insert Ted Cruz.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: R. U. Sirius on February 10, 2016, 12:34:48 am
You get Tom Cruise.

I insert Scientology and the movie "Independence Day."
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on February 10, 2016, 01:46:58 am
You get the sequel everyone list hype for a decade ago.


I insert Mighty no. 9.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on February 10, 2016, 11:34:58 am
The vending machine is out of order for 6 years.

Ironbite-after 6 years, I insert the Taco Bell's new Quesolupa.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on February 23, 2016, 12:11:54 am
You give the vending machine severe heartburn.

I insert my dick.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Even Then on February 23, 2016, 01:00:28 am
The machine gives you the most sumptuous blowjob you've ever received. Your dick is covered in oil afterwards.

I insert someone else's dick. As in, a severed damn penis.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on February 23, 2016, 02:13:54 am
You get a severed head.

I insert the corpse of Justice Scalia.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on February 23, 2016, 10:48:49 am
You get a mountain of conspiracy theory's surrounding his death.

I insert my maths homework.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on February 24, 2016, 12:15:11 am
You fail your math class.

I insert your math teacher.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on February 24, 2016, 01:48:48 pm
You get an F.

I insert Kim Jong Un.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on February 24, 2016, 03:32:10 pm
You get a pompous idiot full of hot air. (Or Donald Trump really the same thing.)


I insert my Psychology homework.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 03, 2016, 11:38:28 pm
You get an analysis of why the professor thinks you answered it the way you did, and what issues that reveals about you. Oh, and a B-.

I insert Ultimate Paragon.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on March 04, 2016, 12:13:29 am
You get a junkyard dog and an alligator snapping turtle.

I insert southeastern US folklore.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on March 04, 2016, 02:46:18 am
You get the complete works of Washington Irving.

I insert a box of Cap'n Crunch.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Feral Dog on March 04, 2016, 08:00:17 am
You get better cereal.

I insert Po, the Kung Fu Panda.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 12, 2016, 02:35:10 pm
You get the Sword of Heroes, said to be so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking at OWWWW!

I insert my ass.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on July 20, 2016, 12:59:37 pm
I unstick my ass from the vending machine and insert Ironbite instead.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on July 20, 2016, 01:55:20 pm
You get a cute little feathered raptor who goes around acting tough like the chicken hawk I'm the old Looney Tunes cartoons.

I insert Rush Limbaugh.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on July 31, 2016, 02:59:36 am
The vending machine gags on him and pukes him back up.

I insert a double-bladed crossguard lightsaber.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Svata on July 31, 2016, 03:10:28 am
You get 8 tons of fanfic

*I insert my newest set of character sheets*
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Zygarde on July 31, 2016, 02:47:36 pm
You get a TPK cause I'm the DM and I like killing my players.


I insert my copy of "On the Origin of Species."
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: SCarpelan on July 31, 2016, 02:51:39 pm
You get a crocoduck.

I throw it back into the machine.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Skybison on August 01, 2016, 01:42:30 am
You get Archaeopteryx

I insert Louise Belcher from Bob's Burgers
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on November 21, 2016, 11:55:06 pm
You get the annoying kid from Good Burger.

I insert an Ankylosaurus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: pyro on March 11, 2017, 11:38:56 pm
You get a chicken.

You insert SCP-914 (http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-914)
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 12, 2017, 08:06:27 pm
You get a pile of broken machine parts.

I insert a dead body.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on March 12, 2017, 08:31:09 pm
You get a live body.

I insert $2.50.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: pyro on March 12, 2017, 10:22:59 pm
You get a 1L bottle of soda.

I insert a copy of The Mona Lisa.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on March 13, 2017, 04:26:43 pm
You get a portrait of Elvis Presley on black velvet.

I insert a sparkling effeminate angsty Twilight vampire.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: pyro on March 17, 2017, 12:20:04 am
You get a portrait of Elvis Presley on black velvet.

I insert a sparkling effeminate angsty Twilight vampire.

You get a packet of glitter makeup.

I insert a CD.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on March 20, 2017, 03:57:12 am
Yo get 200 cassette tapes.

I insert 25 megalitres of black waste water.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 23, 2017, 09:05:36 pm
You get a giant mutant trout.

I insert my dick.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: pyro on March 24, 2017, 09:31:10 am
You get an orgasm.

I insert a water bottle.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on March 24, 2017, 09:58:20 am
You get a repair bill for one water damaged vending machine.

I insert a pair of used panties.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: ironbite on March 24, 2017, 10:39:49 am
You get slapped by an irate schoolgirl who looks like she's 21 but really only 15.

Ironbite-I insert El Generico, the Generic Luchador.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 24, 2017, 11:50:44 pm
You get a burrito.

I insert a Bible.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: pyro on March 25, 2017, 12:18:52 am
You get a koran

I insert cannabis
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on March 25, 2017, 12:34:37 am
You get cantabis, cannabis's less motivated cousin.

I insert a jar of my taint sweat.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 25, 2017, 10:07:54 am
You get a hazmat team.

I insert Uranus.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on March 25, 2017, 08:22:14 pm
You get an asteroid lodged in Uranus.

I insert a 30 year old Hot Wheels toy car.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: pyro on March 26, 2017, 01:49:30 am
You get an asteroid lodged in Uranus.

I insert a 30 year old Hot Wheels toy car.

You get a matchbox car.

I insert bni.hlqwkpwqbvnenralstuqwfp.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Art Vandelay on March 26, 2017, 02:24:04 am
You get enough obscure references to buy one whole weed.

I insert a handful of dog hair.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Eiki-mun on March 26, 2017, 08:57:17 am
You get a small (100 ml) bottle of Smirnoff vodka.

I insert a tiny, but fully detailed and intricate model of a T-34 tank.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Random Guy on March 26, 2017, 01:38:40 pm
You get run over by a real T-34 tank.

I insert my dog.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: rookie on March 27, 2017, 10:13:30 am
You get my dog.

I insert a family portrait from 1986.
Title: Re: Vending Machine
Post by: Skybison on March 27, 2017, 05:51:12 pm
You get clones of your family in 1986

I insert Martin Scorsese