PROPHETIC TRANCE ACTIVATE! FORM OF....AN OMEN!!
On December 21st, 2012, Tucker Carlson's ego will make physical contact with his sense of superiority and his stupidity in the upper right quadrant of he cerebral cortex. The resulting non-Newtonian, non-Euclidian Hypermass of self-righteous ignorance will overcome the laws of mass and inertia and collapse into a proto-star of douchebaggery. Expanding rapidly, this new D-B Type star will come into almost immediate contact with a nearly identical D-B Type star emanating from Bill O'Reily. The two Hypermegamasses will collapse inward under the sheer weight of its own sense of incredible, shameless smugness, burrowing a gravity-antigravity hole through Einsteinian space, unravelling the quantum strings of stable 3 dimensional spacetime, and dragging all of reality into a null-space plane of total molecular entropy.
In the resulting total reduction of the entirety of universal history into a single non-event in spacetime, Tucker Carlson will be heard to declare authoritatively, "America is the only nation in the null-space, non-event, entropic, zero-quantum state of negative flux with the moral authority to pre-preemptively resonate dual strings and achieve a mass-time ratio sufficient to trigger renewed universal causality. I DO think, I'm sure I'm the lone voice in saying this, I think that entropic heat-death non-causality states need to be anhilated, I think they're evil. I DO think we ought to think about what would happen to the potential zero-point energy resonation sources..."
It is at this point that all of the fictional deities of human history will suddenly and spontaneously self-actualize in a fit of uncontrollable rage and turn Carlson into a small, green lump of putty in a Vogon's armpit before vanishing back into a sea of logic.
