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Community => The Lounge => Topic started by: sandman on September 15, 2012, 06:18:50 pm

Title: No long goodbyes.
Post by: sandman on September 15, 2012, 06:18:50 pm
As many of you know, I have been struggling with cancer for some time now. What began as simple prostate cancer progressed into my liver and kidneys and is now in my spine. I have, after long thought an prayer, decided to end aggressive treatment. I have lead a life that, while not as long as I would have liked, has certainly been full, and I have no wish to end it in pain and misery. I have been blessed with a wonderful wife and loving friends, and while we had no children, I have many former students who are in essence just that.

I will be entering hospice care this week. I do not expect to be there long. I have asked that the priority be in ensuring that my last few weeks are calm, peaceful, and without trauma. The hospice care facility I have chosen is adjacent to and associated with the nursing facility my wife is at, and although she does not remember me now (I do not know if I have ever mentioned she has Alhzeimer's and has been in residential care for several years now. It is not something I speak of much.) I have been very lonely these last months, despite the best efforts of friends and loved ones, and I look forward to being with her at the end. I regret very much that I will not be here to see to her care anymore, but I have made arrangements so she will not lack for comforts. 

I will not have access to the internet. I have chosen to spend my time reading, drawing, writing, and speaking with friends rather than perusing message boards and idly surfing the internet. I will not have cable, as I have decided that I do not wish to see and hear the miserable divisiveness in politics anymore. Friends have arranged for me to have DVDs of all of my favorite films, and I look forward to revisiting with some of them instead of broadcast television.

I will still be able to receive messages over the next few weeks, though, as I have given a list of my accounts and passwords to my dear friend and former student David, who has been so loving to me, even to the point of allowing me to live with him and his wife for the past few years. The checks I wrote to help cover the mortgage and utilities will never go even a tenth of the way to repaying him and his lovely wife for their kindness and loyalty, as the old Sandman has needed help with the most basic and embarrassing of things for a while now.

David has promised to check the site periodically and print out any messages directed to me. If you wish to send me a message, please do so in this thread or by PM, since I doubt he will have the time to peruse all of the threads. I hope he becomes active on the site, as he is a fine thinker and a good man, but I have my doubts that he will. He is simply too busy. Make him welcome if you will, and try to get him to make an account. I would find it pleasant if a ghost of me lingered on at FSTDT.

(Because access to my account is now in the hands of someone other than me, I hereby request that Mod powers be removed from me as soon as possible.)

I know I said no long goodbyes, but FSTDT has been one of my favorite sites for quite some time. I thought about individual goodbyes, but I just can't bring myself to write them. I don't know what I would say. All of you mean so much to me, and I don't want to reduce you to sound bites and memes. Just know that the Sandman is watching over you, and you are in my thoughts.

Goodbye, and Godspeed.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: SpaceProg on September 15, 2012, 06:52:52 pm
Godspeed to you too, Sandman.

I don't say goodbye. 

I'll see you later.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Cerim Treascair on September 15, 2012, 06:58:36 pm
Oh, Sandy...

No long goodbyes, right? You may have been one of the 'old men' of the forums, but you were one of the men I respected and admired greatly.  I hope these last few weeks are as painless as possible for you, and that you go with no regrets.

You are loved, now and forever.  You will be missed greatly.

Like Prog said, this isn't good bye... I'll see you later, you amazing, wonderful badass.  Go down swinging, my dear friend.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Veras on September 15, 2012, 06:59:48 pm
Goodbye Sandman,

The world (and fstdt) won't be the same without your wit and wisdom.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: ironbite on September 15, 2012, 07:35:10 pm
This place ain't going to be the same without ya man.  I mean that from the bottom of my cold, metallic heart.

Ironbite-wind to thy wings my friend....safe journey.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: RavynousHunter on September 15, 2012, 07:37:26 pm
Farewell, brother.  You've been more like a grandfather to me than my real grandfather.  Your wit, wisdom, intelligence, and kindness shall be missed, but so long as you know peace, I think we shall, as well.

Peace be with you and your loved ones, my friend.  Godspeed.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Shane for Wax on September 15, 2012, 07:40:30 pm
I will miss you always, Sandman. I wish I could've met you in real life.

Godspeed and may Cernunnos watch over you and take you home safely.

I will have some whisky in your honor.

(http://i46.tinypic.com/t64c5y.png)
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Witchyjoshy on September 15, 2012, 07:46:41 pm
Part of me, the selfish part of me, wants you to stay, to keep on fighting, to keep on living.

...But what's the point of living if it's nothing but suffering?

Sandman, I've struggled with what to say, but I think that what I need to say most is...

I'll miss you.  In some ways, you were like the father I should've had.  Wise, harsh, good-hearted... you were a font of wisdom for all of us.  And I'll miss you.

I looked up to you, as both a friend and a fellow.  And now, I'll continue to look up at you, even as you pass from this life.

May your next life, if there is one, be as happy as this.  You may have reached the end of your journey... but that isn't such a bad thing, is it?

I hate cancer.  I really do.  But I also know, having seen my own mother go through treatments, that the treatments can be worse than cancer in a way.

I wish you a painless and peaceful passing.  You, your wife, and your students will all be in my prayers.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Mira on September 15, 2012, 07:49:37 pm
Goodbye, Sandman. It was a pleasure knowing you.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Osama bin Bambi on September 15, 2012, 08:08:47 pm
Sandman, I feel blessed every day that I have known you and that you have been a part of this community. While you will be dearly missed, I still wish you a gentle passing. After everything you've done for your friends, family, and students, you deserve to leave the world peacefully. Thank you for everything you've done. You won't be forgotten, I can tell you that. *hugs*
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Morgenleoht on September 15, 2012, 08:10:02 pm
It was a pleasure to know you even if only through a forum.

Wind to thy wings.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: syaoranvee on September 15, 2012, 08:11:42 pm
You will live on through the legacy you have past on through others.  The only true death is of one that is completely forgotten.  You lived touching the lives of many, you will never truely disappear.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: gyeonghwa on September 15, 2012, 08:13:40 pm
Goodbye Sandman. I am honored to have known you.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Alehksunos on September 15, 2012, 08:18:07 pm
Goodbye, man. It's a shame that I didn't know you much until I've visited these forums, but even so it's still nice that I have got to know you. It makes me sad to know that one person in our community will be gone forever. If there is an afterlife, I wish you a safe journey away from the known universe.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Hades on September 15, 2012, 08:19:17 pm
It's been great to know you, Sandman. You've always been able to cut through the bullshit and offer up some real wisdom. I'm going to miss you. We all will.

Farewell, friend.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Sleepy on September 15, 2012, 08:22:59 pm
Sandman, you've touched the lives of many, many people -- friends, family, students, and countless folks online. I envy your students, being able to learn from someone as wise as your wonderful self, but I'm still incredibly thankful I was able to get to know you at least a bit through this forum. I wish you didn't have to go because I love having you on here, both as a mod and as an intelligent contributor to many discussions, but I'm glad you've decided to go on your own terms. It sounds like you have a ton of great folks there looking after you and making this as comfortable as possible, so I'm very glad to hear that as well. It's been a pleasure knowing you, and I hope everything goes peacefully. Farewell, good friend.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Kain on September 15, 2012, 08:37:16 pm
It was an honour to meet you, my friend, if only for a time.

Fare thee well.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on September 15, 2012, 08:40:55 pm
There isn't much I can say that hasn't already been said, so I'll keep it at this: I hope these next few weeks are happy, peaceful and full of all the joy you deserve. You're an incredible person.

Goodbye, Sandman.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Distind on September 15, 2012, 08:43:00 pm
Sandman,

You are one of very few people I respect and trust. I want to thank you for taking the time you have helping me in the past and know I've taken most of it to heart, even if I do still manage to screw it up from time to time.

Enjoy your time and know we all care for you.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: SimSim on September 15, 2012, 08:53:36 pm
Remember that Dylan Thomas was wrong when he wrote Do not go gentle into that goodnight. There's nothing wrong with choosing to go gentle into that goodnight. There's nothing wrong with choosing to shorten life so that you don't have to suffer in pain, and your family and friends don't have to watch you suffer, and as a result suffer themselves. I know it's not an easy choice, but it's the right choice.

You'll be sorely missed here. I wish you peace, and that you are kept company by friends and family in your remaining time left.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Random Dinosaur on September 15, 2012, 09:20:20 pm
Goodbye, Sandman. This forum will never be the same without you.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Paimun on September 15, 2012, 09:31:51 pm
To add to what SimSim said, I believe there is a certain amount of dignity involved in the way you are choosing to live out your final days. Passing in what is hopefully a calm and peaceful manner, rather than dragging out the ordeal. I think it is a courageous decision to make and I wish you nothing but the best. (Terribly sorry to hear about your wife, as well; I did not know what she had gone through.)

The "Under Bacon" will miss you greatly, Sandman.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: nickiknack on September 15, 2012, 10:01:52 pm
Sandman,
You're a wonderful human being, and hearing this news saddens me greatly. You're one of my favorite posters, and has always said the most spot on things in this forum. Part of me wants you to keep on fighting the good fight, but that is very selfish, and you're decision is the best decision(after all I've had many relatives in the past, who've dealt with cancer). I wish I had more to say, but I can't find the words that would best describe how greatly you will be missed, after all, this forum has become a second family to me. I hope your final days are the most peaceful. And May The Force Be With You.  :'( 
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: chad sexington on September 15, 2012, 10:06:07 pm
Farewell, good sir.  You have been a blessing to this forum.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: largeham on September 15, 2012, 10:17:08 pm
I can't really add much, you mill surely be missed, it is sad to see you go.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: kefkaownsall on September 15, 2012, 10:53:21 pm
Well Sandy......I got nothing go peacefully brother *hugs*
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: JohnE on September 15, 2012, 11:26:08 pm
I don't know what to say, other than that you will be greatly missed, and we were lucky to have you on the forum. I hope your hospice is as comfortable as possible.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Mechtaur on September 16, 2012, 12:57:26 am
*Salutes Sandman*

I'm gonna miss you, you had the best come backs and the best messages overall.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Art Vandelay on September 16, 2012, 01:22:16 am
You're really going to be missed around here, Sandman, not going to lie. It's extremely saddening to see you go, though it is comforting to know that you're going out on your own terms. I hope these next few weeks are as peaceful and happy as they possibly can be, you most certainly deserve at least that.

Farewell, friend.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Eniliad on September 16, 2012, 05:45:09 am
We love you Sandman. Miles and I both. I'm going to miss you.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Canadian Mojo on September 16, 2012, 10:55:59 am
I am truly sorry to see you go but I am glad to hear that you are doing it on your own terms. All of us are better for having known you, even in the limited capacity of a forum.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: TheL on September 16, 2012, 02:09:29 pm
Goodbye, Sandman.  We have all been blessed to know you.

Whatever awaits you after death, may it be pleasant.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Normandy on September 16, 2012, 03:54:00 pm
Farewell, Sandman.  May your remaining time be as peaceful and comfortable as possible.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Vypernight on September 16, 2012, 03:58:31 pm
Sorry to hear, Sandman.  Best thoughts and wishes to you and your family.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Sandafluffoid on September 16, 2012, 06:22:30 pm
Goodbye, I count myself lucky to have known such a warm, witty, and intelligent person as yourself, albeit only distantly. You will be missed.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: rookie on September 16, 2012, 06:35:49 pm
You're leaving with the dignity, grace, and class you've shown us lo these seemingly too short few years. And we are all better people for you being in our lives, even if it was only through an internet connection.

Godspeed, my friend.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Hoplite on September 16, 2012, 07:19:08 pm
Yesterday, I happened to buy Christopher Hitchens' book "Mortality" and just started reading it. I bought it not knowing what it really was about, only that I was interested in catching up with the works of Dawkins and Hitchens. I am still in the first few pages as my goddamn parrot chose last night as the time to fly off and I had to spend all the time hunting him down. Anyway, I thought it might be an interesting read for someone in your predicament. Lord knows, I probably will die early, having led a rough life, probably more than Hitchens did, and I found what I read interesting, so far. Hope this is of interest and helpful. It is not a big book, looks like a few days of leisure reading.

My very best Regards - I wish I found this site much earlier.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Tigger_the_Wing on September 16, 2012, 07:40:57 pm
Goodbye, Sandman. Your wit, wisdom, courage and humanity will be sorely missed. My eldest son is named Sandy*. If he turns out one tenth the man you are, I shall be well pleased.

Sending a great big granny-hug to the best damned virtual granddad on the whole internet.

As someone who has faced her own mortality, I firmly believe you have made the right decision. May your final days be filled with peace, love and joy; may they be pain-free and pleasantly occupied. Go into the great unknown knowing that you are loved and will be remembered fondly by many, many people. And know that you made a difference, a good and great difference, in the lives you touched.

Love and hugs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Yes, I married a Scot. So sue me!
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Jebediah on September 16, 2012, 07:56:30 pm
I love you, Sandman. I'm so happy that I was able to know you, though I regret not getting to know you better. I hope you have a lovely and peaceful time at your new home. You will be in my thoughts often, and I will miss you dearly. You're a great man, and those who know you and very lucky.

Goodbye, friend.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Her3tiK on September 16, 2012, 08:01:04 pm
After so many goodbyes and well-wishes, it's hard to find something new to add. All that comes to mind is having a drink in your honor, and the musician in me wanting to cover 'Enter Sandman' if it could be done in good taste.

Enjoy your remaining days among the living. If there's anything beyond, I look forward to your "I told you so".
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Zygarde on September 17, 2012, 01:13:02 am
Farewell Sandman I didn't know you long but from the time I have known you on the forum I've come to admire you, and while I will most likely be sadden by your passing I will still look up to you even after this so goodbye and may the goddess welcome you back into her loving embrace.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: DrFishcake on September 17, 2012, 04:15:57 am
Goodbye Sandman, as all the others have said all our love and respect go out to you and your wife.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Meshakhad on September 17, 2012, 01:08:25 pm
Goodbye, friend. I will miss you.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Radiation on September 17, 2012, 03:56:21 pm
Sandman,

You are one of the most, intelligent, wise people that I have ever come across, even though I never met you personally and never actually got to talk with you face to face. Yet, many of your forum posts were pleasing, articulate in more ways then I could ever make mine. You have earned the utmost respect among many here on the forums and you have made a lasting impression on many.

The people that have come across you in life have been blessed with your presence and were lucky to know such a great guy.

I am glad that you are taking the route that you want in how you wish to pass over. I understand that you no longer want to be in pain and truthfully, I think that probably is a good decision. To retain your dignity and to be comfortable in your last days.

I am truly going to miss you and I will miss seeing your posts. 
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Saturn500 on September 17, 2012, 04:11:21 pm
 :'(
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: R. U. Sirius on September 18, 2012, 08:42:03 am
*hug* Goodbye, Sandman. I'm sure you've left the world a better place than you found it.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Bezron on September 18, 2012, 10:50:08 am
Farewell, Sandman.  Know that you have touched many lives, and left many people better than you found them.

May the pipes ever play your refrain
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Rime on September 18, 2012, 04:38:30 pm
I have no words.  Everyone here has said everything I've wanted to say.  Over the years you've been moderator, you've earned my respect and surprised me with your wisdom on many occasions.  I'll carry those memories for as long as I can. 

Thank you for staying as long as you have, and I'll remember you happily, even if I've never met you in person.

Cheers.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: myusername on September 21, 2012, 10:58:38 am
Just seen this and damn. Don't know quite what to say, but I respect you a lot and always have. Words seem a little bit inadequate right now.

Bye, Sandman.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: shy on September 21, 2012, 03:41:19 pm
Sandman,

I know you barely know me, and I know you said no long sad goodbyes, but I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn't teary-eyed as I am typing this. I just want you to know that I've I always admired you and found your posts extremely eloquent and thoughtful. You are one of the nicest, most-level headed, and all around well-rounded people I know. I really, truly mean every single word of that, and it'd nag at me if I never told you. Other than that, all I can say is that I wish you the best. Words totally fail me right now.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: tygerarmy on September 21, 2012, 08:10:18 pm
Sandman,

I will miss your wit and wisdom.
I hope you are able to enjoy your final days.
Take care my friend.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: StallChaser on September 22, 2012, 08:15:02 am
The board won't be the same without you.  I hope you make the most out of your final days.  I may not believe in an afterlife, but your memories will live on with all of us.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Damen on September 23, 2012, 12:09:21 am
For three or four days now I've been trying to think of what to say to this and I'm still at a loss. I guess there's too much to say and not enough words to say it with. I've always hated the finality of "goodbye."

Sandman, you and I didn't know each other very well and I think that is going to be a matter of regret for me because if anyone is worth knowing well it’s you. You've always been able to give us good advice when it was needed, been there to calm our tempers when they were unjustly perked, shown us some subtle logical flaw in our arguments so we can learn from our mistakes and have been like a father figure to a great many of us. Every time you would make a post it was always well reasoned, well spoken and always a pleasure to read. The knowledge and wisdom you've shared with us has helped to improve us as humans. You've taught many of us new ways of thinking and of looking at things. And much of the injustices we see in the anger and indignity of youth, you've been able to see through the lens of time and experience and help us to understand that as bad as things are they've been worse and they will get better.

We've rarely spoken directly but you have still earned a great deal of my respect. I'm glad to be able to say that it hasn't been misplaced. And while we've never met in person, there are very few members of these forums whom you didn't touch in some way and always for the better. I doubt it would be unfair to say that in your life, you've lived more than most others can ever dream of. I hope that you're able to look back on it without regrets.

There is a large part of me that wants to urge you to resume treatment. Maybe it’s selfish of me to want that, but I trust that you're making the decision that you know is best. But I have to agree, no one should ever spend the end of their time in misery.

I want you to know that there are only a handful of people whom I know of that I can say are a credit to their religion and beliefs. While there are many Christians out there, few of them have been able to show me what it means to truly be Christ-like as you have. Others profess their faith from the rooftops. You haven't done that, you were too busy living it and serving as an example to others. It’s because of those select few people, of which you are one, that I can't bring myself to paint all Christians with the same brush I do the fundies we spend so much time mocking.

The chance of you being anointed the next King of Israel is slim, but I think 1 Samuel 16:7 applies to you. God looks at hearts and we don't need divine wisdom to be able to see that yours is a good one.

I can't say what may happen in the future; I don't know if I'll forever be an atheist or come to some spiritual belief but I would like you to know you will remain in my thoughts. And while I don't know what, if anything, awaits us after our final breath, I just can't see it being anything short of bliss for a man like you. Anything short of that would be an injustice.

I admit I want this message to be longer because I know that there will be things left unsaid that should be given voice. I know they're out there but I just do not know how to say them. You've made an impact on us, Sandman. Your presence will be sorely missed and the community we've built here and the world at large will be that much emptier without you.

Sithidh Criosda leat.
(Peace of Christ be with you.)
Slàn leat.
(Goodbye.)
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: RinellaWasHere on September 24, 2012, 11:20:52 pm
I'll see you again someday, Sandman. Godspeed and God bless, my brother Scot.

I love you, and I hope the song of our homeland carries you where you need to go.



O flower of Scotland
When will we see your like again
That fought and died for
Your wee bit hill and glen
And stood against him
Proud Edward's army
And sent him homeward
Tae think again

The hills are bare now
And autumn leaves lie thick and still
O'er land that is lost now
Which those so dearly held
And stood against him
Proud Edward's army
And sent him homeward
Tae think again

Those days are passed now
And in the past they must remain
But we can still rise now
And be the nation again
That stood against him
Proud Edward's army
And sent him homeward
Tae think again


I love you, Sandman. Goodbye.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Yla on September 26, 2012, 07:56:21 am
I have come to appreciate your posts on this board as an example of wisdom and constructiveness. I don't know you as well as I now wish I would, but I am glad to have known you at all.

Be well, sandman.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: tempus on September 26, 2012, 08:18:58 am
I'm glad to have known you, even at a remove.  May you find peace.

Thank you, my friend.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Smurfette Principle on September 26, 2012, 09:39:08 am
Sandman, you were one of the first people I liked when I came here, and I have never, ever had cause to doubt or regret that. I have always thought of you as one of the wisest and kindest people on this forum, and it will be poorer without you. I wish I could have been able to know you longer, and I truly hope that your next weeks are happy ones. There's a line in North and South (the television version, not the book, which I think is an improvement on the source text): "Not many men can plan their exit from this world in such a leisurely way." So that's how I'd like to think of you.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Hoplite on September 26, 2012, 08:26:59 pm
Cease to inquire what the future has in store, and take as a gift whatever the day brings forth.

Horace
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Bender_Rodríguez on September 27, 2012, 05:05:39 pm
In all the years I lurked here you were one of the best.  I always enjoyed your comments because they were so well thought out.  I hope the remainder of your life is peaceful and I'm glad you're going out on your own terms.  Everybody else has said everything there is to be said.  Thank you for being a vital part of this community.  Godspeed and good luck my friend.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Paradox on September 27, 2012, 10:47:23 pm
Godspeed Sandman.  It's been real.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: sandman on September 29, 2012, 11:19:41 pm
My name is David, and I apologize for the cut and paste announcement. Mr. More was active on several dozen boards, and even moderated a few. He left a list of sites, accounts, and passwords so that an announcement such as this could be made. He was quite concerned with making sure he did not just vanish. I have previously posted some information on the sites I knew of, but there were several more that I only learned of from his notebook. If this comes as a shock to anyone, you have my apologies.



Shortly after 3 PM, EST, on Friday, September 28th, Robert More, better known to many online as SuperScot, GreatScot, The Sandman, The Big Red Dog, and sometimes just plain Bob, passed away peacefully from complications arising from advanced cancer. First diagnosed with prostate cancer in the Fall of 1998, He fought it to a standstill for many years until it finally spread into his liver, pancreas, and spine in early 2012. He was a remarkable man who lived a remarkable life. Born in a small town near Inverness, he enlisted in the BAF and rose to the rank of Sergeant, serving in Northern Ireland during the troubles, Egypt, and the Caribbean. After mustering out he traveled for a time, working as a coal miner in Poland, a waiter in Barcelona, and a stevedore in London, among other jobs, before returning to college to earn the first of several degrees. Soon after that he moved to the United States with his wife, taking a position teaching English at a high school in Missouri. In the 90s they moved to Ohio where he taught middle school. He was beloved by his students. By 2009, his various medical conditions (he suffered from rheumatoid arthritis as well as bone spurs in his spine along with the cancer) had become serious enough that he needed help with daily tasks, and as he had no living relatives in the States, he moved in with my wife and I. We were happy to have him.

I first met Mr. More when I was assigned to him as a student teacher. When introduced to me, he looked me in the eye and said, "All right, lad. You might have the stones for the job. Let's start unlearning all the shit they taught you in University." Although now that I come to reflect on it, he may have said "shyte," but that is likely my imagination rewriting my memory. He was a great believer in the eyes being the mirror to the soul, and often made weaker men uncomfortable with his direct, even gaze.

My wife was with him when he passed. She was reading to him from a book called "Aloha From Hell." He had requested the title. After an hour or so he asked her to stop reading and hold his hand. This was not an unusual request from him. Although he was, for most of his life, and intensely private and un-demonstrative man (at least with adults), as he grew more infirm he seemed to crave contact. He was quiet for a long time, then he said, "OK. It's OK. Don't worry. It's OK." He grew quiet again for a few minutes, then fell asleep. Shortly thereafter he died. There was no trauma; he was not frightened. I once asked him what would come after death. He told me he had no idea, but he was pretty sure no one had gotten it right yet. "If it's harps and clouds," he said, "I'm not going."

Mr. More's body will be cremated next week and sent back to Scotland to be scattered on ancestral land. He is survived by an estranged brother, whose location is unknown, several cousins in Scotland who will be handling the disposal of the remains, and his wife, who suffers from advanced Alzheimer's and is in a resident care facility.

In Mr. More's will it is specified that he does not wish a memorial or service, preferring not to be remembered as a body in a coffin. He was fond of Guinness, and requested that a pint be raised in his honor if any be so inclined.

He left some writings behind in his notebook. He was a great one for writing. There is a page with notes to unknown persons. I assume these are directed at individuals he knew online. I have sent these messages to the intended individuals when information allowing that was included. The ones that I am unsure of where to send are repeated below.



"Jackson9, move on. He will never be what you want him to be. Loving someone does not mean you must let them hurt you."

"Distand, keep the lights on. What you do has worth. You provide a home for people who need it. Keep the barbarians off the gates and the nuts on the tree."

"Radiation, were beauty measured by the soul instead of the body, you would be legendary on the status of Helen of Troy. Be strong."

"Canonfodder, I am sorry."

"Robert E. Glee, think hard before you commit your soul to what you are proposing. This is not a choice you can come back from."

"Iron Bite, calm down. You are accepted. You are valued. You don't have anything to prove."

"Miles, I deeply regret that you were not my son. I would have done right by you. Do not let the fact that your biological father did not do so crush you. Fire can temper as well as destroy. Be tempered."

"Kinectic, No. I never believed it of you for a moment. You never lost my faith and trust."

"Nova Nova, you have nothing to apologize for. I always accepted you as you were. I am sorry that others did not."

"Igor122, hatred is toxic and exhausting."
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Art Vandelay on September 29, 2012, 11:32:17 pm
Sigh, I knew it was coming, but I'm really going to miss the old Sandman around here all the same. As you can no doubt see from this thread, people here had a great deal of respect for him (myself included). I'm just very relieved to hear that his last moments were peaceful.

Thank you for taking the time to let us know, David. It really means a lot to me and no doubt many others. We really appreciate it.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Caitshidhe on September 29, 2012, 11:38:58 pm
Language is tragically ill-equipped to sufficiently thank such a man.

Goodbye, Sandman. Thank you.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: nickiknack on September 30, 2012, 12:17:30 am
 :'(  RIP Sandman, we're gonna miss you, buddy.
Here's for you:
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yS6WkGWiUlI/TftRNyqFOTI/AAAAAAAAARI/DOlDIefJsdA/s1600/guinness1.jpg)
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Hades on September 30, 2012, 12:23:17 am
Thank you for what you and your wife have done, David. Not only letting us know, but giving this great man the care and love he needed. I learned a lot of things about him that I didn't know, just now. My admiration of him has doubled. He was an asset to humanity, and we're all going to miss him.

R.I.P. Sandman. I hope there are no harps where you are.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Mechtaur on September 30, 2012, 12:29:40 am
I'm not surprised to know that he faced death with the same dignity that he took life on with.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Her3tiK on September 30, 2012, 12:54:24 am
Goodbye, Sandman.

I dedicate my 1200th post to the live you lived.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Alehksunos on September 30, 2012, 12:58:12 am
Good bye, Cave Johnson...
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Cerim Treascair on September 30, 2012, 01:16:11 am
Goodbye, Sandman...

And David? it is with the most heartfelt gratitude, and I believe I speak for the entire forum when I say this... thank you for telling us the news.  You are always welcome here.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Random Dinosaur on September 30, 2012, 01:28:59 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9FAeXpuagU
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: SpaceProg on September 30, 2012, 01:50:33 am
Rock and roll, Sandman.  Paint the afterlife red. :)
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Damen on September 30, 2012, 01:51:02 am
Thank you for telling us, David. I hope you're doing well in spite of all that has happened.

I just wish I knew what to say. Wish it could be something profound but I've never been one who could make a profound statement. We're gonna miss you, Sandman. Goodbye.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: syaoranvee on September 30, 2012, 01:53:46 am
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Osama bin Bambi on September 30, 2012, 01:59:31 am
David, thank you so much for telling us. I... have no words. I'm glad that his passing was peaceful. He was a very sweet, wise man, and I always thought highly of how he stayed so level-headed and reasonable in all situations. I am not of the legal drinking age in my country, but I try my hardest to emulate his good character in life (whether online or offline), in his memory.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: RavynousHunter on September 30, 2012, 02:12:47 am
Aye, thank you, David...and fare thee well, Sandman.  One of the few people I could honestly call a friend, regardless of distance.  May your rest be a peaceful one, and may the goodness you practiced be reflected in those you've come to know and love.  I know I'll do my very best.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Art Vandelay on September 30, 2012, 02:17:33 am
Oh, and as per Sandman's request in the previous thread.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dH7ZrHWaUE
Goodbye, friend.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on September 30, 2012, 02:18:39 am
Thank you for letting us know, David. You, his family and everyone who knew and loved him have my deepest condolences.

Too choked up to say much at the moment. Until I'm better able to express myself, I'll leave it at this: Rest in peace, Sandman. You were an incredible man.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: chad sexington on September 30, 2012, 02:22:21 am
I concur with everyone who posted already.  It was good to know the Sandman, and he'll be missed.  I'm glad he was able to go peacefully, though.

*raises pint*
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: ironbite on September 30, 2012, 03:39:35 am
Thank you Sandman.

Ironbite-just...thank you.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Vypernight on September 30, 2012, 04:34:23 am
Wow, He's been dealing with this since 1998.  That's a really strong will!  RIP Sandman.  You will be missed.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: tygerarmy on September 30, 2012, 07:24:42 am
Thank you David.

Mr. More your presence will be greatly missed.
I will celebrate your life every year as I celebrate my own as the day you passed I celebrate the day I was born.
A glass raised to a life well lived!
Sandman, here's to you!
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Sleepy on September 30, 2012, 12:07:05 pm
I've been trying to think of what to say, but I can't express this eloquently. I'll miss you, Sandman. This place will never be the same without your posts and general presence. I'm glad everything happened peacefully.

Thank you for the update, David. It's great to read so much about his life and better know the man we came to love, even if it was merely through a forum.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Normandy on September 30, 2012, 04:45:08 pm
RIP Sandman.  It's comforting to know that his final moments were every bit as serene and peaceful as he had wished for.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: TheL on September 30, 2012, 06:34:26 pm
Thank you so much for telling us, David.  Sandman meant a lot to all of us.

I don't have any beer in the house at the moment, but I will definitely raise a glass of wine in a toast to his memory.  He will be sorely missed.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Fpqxz on September 30, 2012, 08:08:49 pm
I already said what I wanted to say in a previous PM, but...sad to see you go, Sandman.

If there is, in fact, an afterlife, and you see my grandmother, tell her I said hi.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Carnivore_Rabbit on September 30, 2012, 08:42:11 pm
Goodbye, Sandman, your wit and wisdom I admired since my first day on the old board (The Yahweh era.) and will be missed.  RIP Forum Friend, you may be gone from this world, but not our hearts.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Smurfette Principle on September 30, 2012, 08:50:37 pm
Sandman, you'll be missed. This is for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lY7rsm44Tq4
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Jebediah on September 30, 2012, 08:54:27 pm
Good bye, Sandman. We'll always love and miss you.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Veras on September 30, 2012, 08:56:12 pm
 :'(

What else is there to say?
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Radiation on October 01, 2012, 08:58:47 pm
Quote
"Radiation, were beauty measured by the soul instead of the body, you would be legendary on the status of Helen of Troy. Be strong."

I'm actually crying right now. This has moved me deeply because I know exactly what he is talking about. I am actually thinking of putting this in my sig to remind me when I am feeling at my weakest.

David, thanks so much for taking care of a very wise man. You and your wife will be blessed, I know it is hard to see someone that you care so deeply about pass away but I hope that he is in a good place now and is know longer suffering. Thanks for taking the time to carry out Sandman's last wish and letting us know as well as writing that eloquent obituary. I never knew Mr. More personally but there is a certain vibe that I got whenever I read his posts. I am certain that he will live on in our hearts.

Sandman, wherever you are, I hope you are enjoying yourself and your last words to me are profound. I will write it down and always remember it.

Goodbye Mr. More. Rest in Peace.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Old Viking on October 04, 2012, 06:36:02 pm
David, thank you for what you did for Sandman, and for us.  He was a rare and wonderful person. 
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Shane for Wax on October 05, 2012, 03:50:53 am
I knew it would be soon but not this soon. Thank you, David.

Sandman will be greatly missed and I wish I could've shown just how much his advice helped me. And I deeply regret being late to this thread.

...I don't know what else to say.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: rookie on October 05, 2012, 08:48:14 am
David, thank you and your wife for being there for him. He meant a lot to everyone here, as you can tell if you're reading this. I can't imagine your loss. You have my deepest condolences.

Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: kefkaownsall on October 06, 2012, 12:33:31 am
 :'( hugs for everyone
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Tigger_the_Wing on October 06, 2012, 02:42:59 am
Thank you for notifying us, David. Mr. More was an amazing person. I'm so glad he was with someone who loved him at the end and that it was as peaceful as he had hoped. Great big granny-hugs to all who knew him.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Rime on October 19, 2012, 08:26:08 pm
September 28 will now be marked on my calendar to remember someone I very deeply respect.  Gone, but happily remembered. 

Farewell, Robert.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Saturn500 on October 20, 2012, 12:05:40 am
I took it a bit further. September 28 is now marked as Robert More day on my iPhone.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: RavynousHunter on October 21, 2012, 02:12:52 am
Kinda sad...considering September 28th is my birthday...
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: ThunderWulf on October 22, 2012, 12:00:42 pm
Wh..What?  Sandman's gone?   :'(

Farewell Sandman.  You will forever be missed.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Askold on October 22, 2012, 01:29:56 pm
...

I had actually forgotten to check this topic for a while. Goodbye Sandman, now the rest of us must work much harder acting as the counterbalance to the ignorance, bigotry and evil on this planet.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: tygerarmy on October 22, 2012, 07:12:56 pm
Kinda sad...considering September 28th is my birthday...

Mine too RH, but when we celebrate our birth we can also celebrate the Sandman's life.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: ThunderWulf on October 22, 2012, 09:47:45 pm
Kinda sad...considering September 28th is my birthday...

Mine too RH, but when we celebrate our birth we can also celebrate the Sandman's life.

That's a great way of looking at it Tyger.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: RavynousHunter on October 22, 2012, 11:51:56 pm
Kinda sad...considering September 28th is my birthday...

Mine too RH, but when we celebrate our birth we can also celebrate the Sandman's life.

Hmm...that's true.  Besides, Sandman always struck me as the kinda guy who'd rather people celebrate his life than mourn his death.

In that way, we are very alike.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: SpaceProg on October 23, 2012, 03:26:35 am
Exactly, Rav.  Unfortunately I've yet to be able to procure some Guinness.  When I do though, it'll be in memory and celebration of him.

I actually can imagine him right now giving every humorist and philosopher in the afterlife a run for their money, hehe. 
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Stormwarden on October 30, 2012, 01:09:59 am
*says nothing, just snaps into an immediate salute, with manly tears streaming down his cheeks*
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: starseeker on October 30, 2012, 03:38:39 pm
He's really gone ;_; I can't get my head round that.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Paradox on November 05, 2012, 01:06:53 am
Aww man, I knew I should have checked in on this forum sooner.  Godspeed Sandman.  Godspeed.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Nightangel8212 on November 08, 2012, 12:46:07 pm
How... how did I miss this topic? Seriously, I just frickin NOTICED it! I had noticed Sandman hadn't been posting but...

*feels horrible*

RIP Sandman. We'll all miss your wonderful wit, wisdom, and kindness. ;_;
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: erictheblue on November 08, 2012, 06:16:14 pm
How... how did I miss this topic? Seriously, I just frickin NOTICED it! I had noticed Sandman hadn't been posting but...

*feels horrible*

RIP Sandman. We'll all miss your wonderful wit, wisdom, and kindness. ;_;

Same here. I wondered if this had happened, but since I don't tend to look at the stickies, I didn't see this thread.

I always respected your wit and wisdom. The world lost a great man. RIP Sandman.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Cloud3514 on November 13, 2012, 01:30:19 am
I never really chatted with Sandman enough to call him a friend, but yet, I find myself on the verge of tears after finding this. I feel horrible for missing it, for one, but mostly because Sandman was just such a great guy. Though I don't think I ever talked directly to him, I've always found his posts insightful and I've learned a lot from him it sucks to lose such a guy. Rest in peace, Sandman.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: niam2023 on November 13, 2012, 01:45:11 am
...I never really chatted with him, and I don't think we ever communicated.

That said, I wish that he has gone to a better place, away from the strife and inanity of politics and daily life. He was a part of the fora as long as I was on here, and someone I will miss.

He was an insightful man, who knew a lot, and he will perhaps continue to inspire us from beyond the grave.



Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Hoplite on November 13, 2012, 11:25:16 pm
I'm a latecomer here, and spoke with him just a few times, and each time was a nice experience. I wish I had been here much earlier.

Regarding life and death, the best description I've read anywhere to date is a brief description by John Godey, in his book The Taking of Pelham One Two Three... "You live, and you die." Poignant, yet short and sweet, IMHO. Or maybe I progressed enough in philosophy to the point where the concept of death no longer holds a dominant edge that it otherwise would have had. Many in philosophy report similar thoughts. Whatever.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: gyeonghwa on November 17, 2012, 10:18:02 pm
It was a peaceful passing and that brings joy to me. I'm sorry to have missed this announcement earlier.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Julian on December 03, 2012, 12:25:16 pm
My apologies, and I thank those who take the time to read the ramblings of an old man who is really just writing to himself, I think.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dH7ZrHWaUE
I think everyone just writes to themselves to a certain extent on the internet... Or at the very least it can uncannily seem like it when there's silence at home.

I also have to say without any doubt, that in my opinion at least, this happened to the least extent I've ever seen with the thoughts and experiences that we were all fortunate enough to have the Sandman share. Some people you scroll straight past. Others you accelerate or close the thread. Much rarer still are the ones you always stop to read. You were often read twice in succession, and so many could've been bookmarked in an offline favourites folder.

You'll be sorely missed, and in no small way because you seemingly enriched the lives of everyone you touched.

(I'm on a two week count-down to a pint of black in Ireland - always an experience in itself, but it's going to be that much more still remembering your presence, impact, insight and clarity. I may not have agreed with every single thing you said, but from someone who is guilty of judging people by their opinions too much, you always had my utmost respect. I also hope to have accomplished a fraction of what you have by the time my turn comes around as a rambly old man.)

In any walk of life, there is a mark of true greatness amongst those that have the time, poise and dignity to help others forward. You had that mark and everyone here loved and respected you for it.

You will be missed, but you will not be gone until the last one here turns out the lights, and you will never be forgotten.

Adiós.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Rabbit of Caerbannog on February 06, 2013, 09:31:00 pm
Oh god I only just stumbled onto this.

RIP, good sir. :'(
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Traitor1 on June 29, 2013, 06:48:05 pm
I am shedding tears right now. I haven't been on this forum forever (I had to reregister) but today I decided to pop by just to lurk, to see who I recognized and how the forum has changed since I was last here. When I first came to FSTDT, I was an angry recent deconvert from fundigelicalism and had all sort of baggage that I was dealing with. Sandman was always very kind to me and gave great advice and encouragement and he, along with everyone else here, helped me through a lot. I am so very, very thankful to him.

I am so sad to see him go.

-Traitor1/Trike
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: NonProphet on August 05, 2013, 03:20:52 pm
How did I miss this?
I didn't even get to say goodbye.

I never met Sandman in person, but he was always kind to me - even when he was telling me I was being a jerk.

The worst part is that I just found out my grandfather has a similar condition; he just discovered that his body's riddled with cancer (to the point of having cancerous ribs removed). All I can see when I think of Sandman is my grandfather's face.

Goodbye, Sandman. You will be missed.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Jodie on August 05, 2013, 04:44:12 pm
It would be awesome if this thread could be carried over to the new forum when it is set up, but I don't that is even possible.

Sandman is not someone who should be forgotten, not just because he was an important member of this forum, but also because he was just such a wonderful person in general.

I wish the newer forumites could have had a chance to get to know him.

:(
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Death. on August 10, 2013, 11:43:41 am
I've been away from the forum for years, was a very active member for years and used to post with Sandman.

I'm just so saddened to see that he has gone. : (

He was such a good man.

Damn I'm teary.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Lithp on August 20, 2013, 03:52:23 am
I wish I'd gotten to know him more.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: SpaceProg on August 20, 2013, 12:39:01 pm
As do I, Lithp.  As do I.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on August 20, 2013, 12:49:43 pm
Ditto. He was such an awesome guy.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: nickiknack on August 20, 2013, 01:55:48 pm
I still think about Sandman...I miss him so much.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Valerius on August 20, 2013, 02:12:28 pm
I wish I'd gotten to know him more.

I wish I just knew him at all. The way everyone is mourning him, and for how long after the fact, makes me wonder just how awesome he must have been.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Shane for Wax on August 20, 2013, 02:28:04 pm
He was a mentor to many and he didn't ask much in return.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: SpaceProg on August 20, 2013, 03:14:44 pm
He was one hell of a Scotsman.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: RavynousHunter on August 20, 2013, 05:58:06 pm
You should look over his posts on the old ProBoards forum (fstdt.proboards.com) which, as of the time of this post, is still around, if not active outside the occasional drive-by spambot.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Cerim Treascair on August 20, 2013, 08:49:05 pm
I think anyone that had any contact with him at all, even just reading an old post, was enough to leave a lasting impression.

Would it be inaccurate and presumptuous of me to say for all of us that he was this forum's wise grandfather we all loved?
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: SpaceProg on August 20, 2013, 09:27:20 pm
Nah.  I don't think so, anyway. 
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on August 21, 2013, 01:45:22 am
Would it be inaccurate and presumptuous of me to say for all of us that he was this forum's wise grandfather we all loved?

Not at all. I think most of us looked up to him.
Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Death. on August 22, 2013, 04:17:00 pm
He was a pretty cool guy.

Really well educated, he was a theologian.  Saw combat in Northern Ireland.

Was caught up in the Kent State shootings, he was there to visit his girlfriend.  His picture is one of the most iconic of the 20th century.

That's him in the fringed jacket and his face turned away. You will never find the identity of the person in that photo on line. I know his name was Allison ( it's a Scottish unisex name ) , Sandy for short.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/65/Kent_State_massacre.jpg

He used to write Dr. Who story lines for the BBC. For realz.
 
Skyfire used to alternately drive him nuts or make him laugh.

He kept out of most drama and never posted on the racy threads.

Always had kinds words and ear. : )

Title: Re: No long goodbyes.
Post by: Alehksunos on August 23, 2013, 12:34:58 am
I will still remember my misquote from potato GLaDOS in Portal 2 as my good-bye message, because that was what she said after finishing the last area of 'Ancient' Aperture Science.