Author Topic: Best quotes for doing dramatic readings of  (Read 420 times)

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Offline aebars

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Best quotes for doing dramatic readings of
« on: May 14, 2013, 11:29:41 pm »
I never get tired of reciting the following quotes in a redneck or professional wrestler's voice, possibly concluding by beating my chest and roaring:

Quote
When a real man hears that his nation is fighting a "war for oil," for example, he honors the manly leadership of his nation that has the balls to take manly action. The real man doesn't whine and kowtow to the milquetoast apologizers and ass kissers. A real man kicks ass, he doesn't kiss ass. A real man doesn't form gun thug gangs to kowtow to enforce feminist laws and work against men and families. When a real man learns that his neighbor has slapped his whiny bitch wife for adultery or disrespect, the real man shakes his neighbor's hand and honors him for having the balls to take manly action in control of his wife and family.

...

They are taking manly control of their families even if it means kicking the feminazi bitches to the curb instead of walking down an isle with one of them. They need manly leadership to retake control of our nation.

Quote
to the jap and the injun:

secret asian notaman,listen to me you stupid jap,Columbus was here first,not the chinese,if he wasn't then we would'nt have a Christopher Columbus Day, we would have Some Chink Day. Here's a little FYI, I'm not from the south,I live in Maine,but even if I was I would still be smarter than your down syndrome lookin' ass. Maybe in this little fantasy world you live in, gaysians also invented the automobile,air travel,in door lighting,lawn mowers,refrigerators,washer and dryer,ammunition,the atom bomb,etc,and have big dicks. But this is reality my slanty-eyed friend, and in reality the white man invented all those thing and practically everthing else.What did you invent,fireworks and really bad sports,like sumo wrestling.Yeah,nothing like a couple of morbidly obese japs trying to hump eachother. Chief Bearfart, don't worry about immigration, we'll just have to take our land,oops,I mean "your" land, back from those spicks. We took it with force once, we'll do it again, this time with automatic weapons. This will always be the white man's land and don't you forget it. By the way,you say we are feebled bodied people,I'll bet all the peyote in your wigwam that I could whoop your buffalo hide covered ass with one hand tied behind my back. WHITE POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!

You oughta try yourself. It always makes me laugh. Can anyone recommend any additional sort of shouty, dudebro-ey quotes though?