Author Topic: You're probably a fundie if...  (Read 8470 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Zygarde

  • Black trans queen of FQA
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2784
  • Fuck trees, I climb clouds, motherfucker!'
    • My YouTube Channel
Re: You're probably a fundie if...
« Reply #45 on: June 30, 2013, 10:52:55 pm »
You think all pagans are devil worshipers and sacrifice babies and animals to their dark god Satan.

Offline MadmanJohnson

  • Wrath of Primus
  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 298
  • Able to creep out Deimos.
Re: You're probably a fundie if...
« Reply #46 on: July 01, 2013, 06:31:39 am »
-You think GodJesus is a real word.
Before you die an agonizing, chainsaw-related death, you're gonna hear about the Hate Plague!
I'm accusing you of being stupid.
I dare to be stupid.

Offline Vypernight

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1778
  • Gender: Male
  • Stubborn, pig-headed skeptic
Re: You're probably a fundie if...
« Reply #47 on: July 01, 2013, 06:45:15 am »
Spoilered for length.  I have a lot of these lying around.

(Well, technically they were written as "More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today", but there's a lot of overlap between Fundies and the GOP nowadays)

(click to show/hide)

Looks like my Facebook page during the last election.  What a way to kill my mood during Halloween.
Whenever I hear a politician speaking strongly for or against abortion, all I hear is, "I have no idea how to fix the economy!"

Offline Barbarella

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2767
  • Gender: Female
  • A Little REY of Sunshine!
Re: You're probably a fundie if...
« Reply #48 on: July 01, 2013, 01:49:25 pm »
You assume everyone who doesn't share your fundie insanity is an atheist, even if a good chunk of there are theistic, perhaps churchgoing, people of faith themselves.

You think that atheists are literally non-human, diabolic entities rather than nice normal people who don't believe in a Supreme Deity.

You see no contradiction between opposing faiths, philosophies & political systems. They're all stuff you hate, therefore they must be all the same! Muslim Atheist Communist Nazi Hippies anyone?

Offline Witchyjoshy

  • SHITLORD THUNDERBASTARD!!
  • Kakarot
  • ******
  • Posts: 9044
  • Gender: Male
  • Thinks he's a bard
Re: You're probably a fundie if...
« Reply #49 on: July 01, 2013, 03:25:03 pm »
You think that Samhain was a druidic ritual that involved taking the firstborn of a random person's house and sacrificing it to their dark god, and that's why Halloween is evil.

...You also perpetuate the idea that Samhain is pronounced "Sam-Hayne" and don't even bother to be corrected when someone points out that it's pronounced "Sow-en"
Mockery of ideas you don't comprehend or understand is the surest mark of unintelligence.

Even the worst union is better than the best Walmart.

Caladur's Active Character Sheet

Offline Iconic Komodo Dragon 2

  • Bishop
  • ***
  • Posts: 106
  • Gender: Male
  • Try not to bleed to much.
Re: You're probably a fundie if...
« Reply #50 on: July 16, 2013, 09:57:02 pm »
-believe vaccines are extremely harmful and should be avoided always but keep a loaded gun on your bedstand
I support the SCP Foundation.

I'm 91 kilograms, 2.59 meters long; Have 57 strains of bacteria in my mouth, and can eat 80% of my weight in food in a single sitting.
LAAAAYYYYDDDDIIEEES...( ͡° ͜ʖ͡°)

Offline Iconic Komodo Dragon 2

  • Bishop
  • ***
  • Posts: 106
  • Gender: Male
  • Try not to bleed to much.
Re: You're probably a fundie if...
« Reply #51 on: July 20, 2013, 08:46:44 pm »
You think vaccines cause cancer, AIDS, Impotence, and Mental Illness but think Homeopathic medicine can cure anything.
I support the SCP Foundation.

I'm 91 kilograms, 2.59 meters long; Have 57 strains of bacteria in my mouth, and can eat 80% of my weight in food in a single sitting.
LAAAAYYYYDDDDIIEEES...( ͡° ͜ʖ͡°)

Offline PosthumanHeresy

  • Directing Scenes for Celebritarian Needs
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2626
  • Gender: Male
  • Whatever doesn't kill you is gonna leave a scar
Re: You're probably a fundie if...
« Reply #52 on: July 23, 2013, 05:18:24 pm »
You think all good music will send you to hell.
You cannot let go of Amazing fucking Grace.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Beezlebub

  • Bishop
  • ***
  • Posts: 147
  • Gender: Male
Re: You're probably a fundie if...
« Reply #53 on: July 24, 2013, 02:50:50 am »
You think people not acting exactly like you infringes your rights.
"If they want to take away our porn, they'll have to pry it from my cold, dead, well-exercised right hand"

Offline mythbuster43

  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 467
  • Gender: Male
    • Northwest View
Re: You're probably a fundie if...
« Reply #54 on: July 24, 2013, 06:46:01 am »
You think that opposing the Uganda laws calling for the death penalty against homosexuals is "persecuting Christians."

I'm not making that up by the way. I can think of four insane lunatics (Cliff Kincaid, Todd Starnes, Matt Barber, and Scott Lively) who have claimed this or something similar to it.

Offline Iconic Komodo Dragon 2

  • Bishop
  • ***
  • Posts: 106
  • Gender: Male
  • Try not to bleed to much.
Re: You're probably a fundie if...
« Reply #55 on: July 24, 2013, 01:41:03 pm »
...your sources of information will become unreliable as soon as you finish agreeing with them.
« Last Edit: July 24, 2013, 01:44:52 pm by Iconic Komodo Dragon 2 »
I support the SCP Foundation.

I'm 91 kilograms, 2.59 meters long; Have 57 strains of bacteria in my mouth, and can eat 80% of my weight in food in a single sitting.
LAAAAYYYYDDDDIIEEES...( ͡° ͜ʖ͡°)

Offline the_ignored

  • Bishop
  • ***
  • Posts: 172
    • Skeptic Friends Network
Re: You're probably a fundie if...
« Reply #56 on: July 24, 2013, 06:40:55 pm »
If one of your own who admits to being a sexual predator is still regarded higher than an honest biologist.

To see what I'm talking about:  here.

Offline guizonde

  • anglican occitan
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1593
  • capslock is the devil
Re: You're probably a fundie if...
« Reply #57 on: July 29, 2013, 09:58:25 pm »
you think that metalheads crucify cats upside down, and do so in a ceremony involving wearing a dead goat.

you think that metal is OBVIOUSLY (and obligatorily) satanist.

you think that pen and paper role-playing games are a gateway to satan/the occult/demonic possession/suicide.

(i wish that i was making this up, but this has been said to me by my village's very open-minded curate, talking about my lifestyle)

he's open-minded insofar as we can have civil conversation despite our vastly different lifestyles, i usually talk to him as i'm going to bed, and he's getting ready for the 6am call of the pious. but at least he's getting better about it, and we've had absolutely lovely discussions about faith, despite him calling me an infidel. he's a great guy  :)
@ guizonde: I think I like the way you think.
Warning: Biohazardously Awesome


0_o 0_0 ¯\(º_o)/¯