Author Topic: Would you like to date a tank? You can now do it in a Japanese game.  (Read 5112 times)

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Online Askold

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http://warisboring.com/articles/this-game-lets-you-sleep-with-tanks/

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

Quote
Panzermadels is a video game about dating tanks. As revenge for America nuking Hiroshima and Nagasaki in World War II, Japan developed the technology to fit the era’s tanks into teenage anime girl bodies. The plan is for the tank-girls to seduce U.S. Army students into compromising situations.

Yes, it really is as bizarre a premise as it sounds.

If you ever thought "I would really, really want to fuck a T-34 that looked like a teenage girl" then this is the game for you.

...If not, then this is yet another reminder that Japan exists in an alternate dimension to the rest of the planet.



I refuse to believe that this was not made as a parody of all the silly dating sims in Japan!

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So, here’s the deal with Panzermadels — you play a military recruit named Erwin Lemmor who has, for some reason, ended up at a Japanese school where all the other students are tanks. He thought he was there to learn about tanks, but no, it’s a school for educating sentient tanks.

They look like Japanese teenagers, but fire projectiles, visit mechanics for repairs, have brakes that can lock up and have personalities tied to the cultural attitudes of their respective countries during World War II.

...This article is really worth reading and it just keeps getting better.
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Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: Would you like to date a tank? You can now do it in a Japanese game.
« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2016, 01:56:03 am »
If you ever thought "I would really, really want to fuck a T-34 that looked like a teenage girl" then this is the game for you.
No, but thanks to you Askold I now know that demographic exists.

Online Askold

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Re: Would you like to date a tank? You can now do it in a Japanese game.
« Reply #2 on: March 28, 2016, 02:07:43 am »
Oh come on, haven't you seen picks of those ship-girl hybrids or plane-girl hybrids on the net? Japan has some very strange demographics and I don't think that the rest of the world is any less strange. But for some reason the only ones who actually publish porn for those weirder tastes and market it abroad seem to be Japanese.
No matter what happens, no matter what my last words may end up being, I want everyone to claim that they were:
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
Aww, you guys rock. :)  I feel the love... and the pitchforks and torches.  Tingly!

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: Would you like to date a tank? You can now do it in a Japanese game.
« Reply #3 on: March 28, 2016, 02:25:05 am »
Oh come on, haven't you seen picks of those ship-girl hybrids or plane-girl hybrids on the net?
Hey man, I know that there is porn or at least pornfic for everything and anything that can be fucked in any possible universe on the net. That doesn't mean I've seen it. Yet.

Also this:

(click to show/hide)

"Discharge..."
*runs screaming*
« Last Edit: March 28, 2016, 02:33:29 am by Tolpuddle Martyr »

Offline Svata

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Re: Would you like to date a tank? You can now do it in a Japanese game.
« Reply #4 on: March 28, 2016, 02:52:37 am »
This is fucking incredible...
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Online Askold

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Re: Would you like to date a tank? You can now do it in a Japanese game.
« Reply #5 on: March 28, 2016, 03:02:45 am »
Apparently the term for this kind of manga/anime is "Mecha musume" and it is a decently sized genre. But usually the girls (always girls I think because either most weirdos are men, vehicles have always been thought of as females, or the female weirdos are also lesbian/bi.) have visible vehicle parts on them:



(Cat ears are not mandatory but they help.)
No matter what happens, no matter what my last words may end up being, I want everyone to claim that they were:
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
Aww, you guys rock. :)  I feel the love... and the pitchforks and torches.  Tingly!

Even Then

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Re: Would you like to date a tank? You can now do it in a Japanese game.
« Reply #6 on: March 28, 2016, 03:11:41 am »
I guess she won't be needing a strap-on, then? Well, ships are referred to as feminine so this isn't that much of a stretch.

Offline Art Vandelay

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Re: Would you like to date a tank? You can now do it in a Japanese game.
« Reply #7 on: March 28, 2016, 03:25:46 am »
Well, I'm disappointed. I was expecting a game about dating tanks, but all I'm seeing are generic anime girls. If we can have a pigeon dating sim featuring actual pigeons, there's no reason why this game can't have real tanks.

...I mean, not that I'm into that or anything.

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: Would you like to date a tank? You can now do it in a Japanese game.
« Reply #8 on: March 28, 2016, 03:29:03 am »
Well, I'm disappointed. I was expecting a game about dating tanks, but all I'm seeing are generic anime girls. If we can have a pigeon dating sim featuring actual pigeons, there's no reason why this game can't have real tanks.

...I mean, not that I'm into that or anything.

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Offline Cloud3514

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Re: Would you like to date a tank? You can now do it in a Japanese game.
« Reply #9 on: March 28, 2016, 03:44:13 am »
Huh. This is like someone looked at Hotoful Boyfriend and said "This is great and all, but what if instead of birds, they were tanks?"
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Re: Would you like to date a tank? You can now do it in a Japanese game.
« Reply #10 on: March 28, 2016, 03:59:23 am »
What's next? Flavours of British pudding? Personified turn-of-the-millennium memes? FQA members?

...gentlemen.

Offline chad sexington

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Re: Would you like to date a tank? You can now do it in a Japanese game.
« Reply #11 on: March 28, 2016, 07:16:24 am »
What's next? Flavours of British pudding? Personified turn-of-the-millennium memes? FQA members?

...gentlemen.

Finally, my time has come!  8)

Online Askold

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Re: Would you like to date a tank? You can now do it in a Japanese game.
« Reply #12 on: March 28, 2016, 07:45:02 am »
But we haven't even gotten past the flirting stage... If you come this soon you might have a problem with premature ejaculation.
No matter what happens, no matter what my last words may end up being, I want everyone to claim that they were:
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
Aww, you guys rock. :)  I feel the love... and the pitchforks and torches.  Tingly!

Offline Zygarde

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Re: Would you like to date a tank? You can now do it in a Japanese game.
« Reply #13 on: March 28, 2016, 08:22:43 am »
I would say this is the weirdest thing I've seen, but I've seen one erog game where all the characters except you are female versions of various historic figures like Oda Nobunaga and Napoleon. (Granted it plays like some weird bastard child of Fire Emblem and Nintendo Wars)

Offline Eiki-mun

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Re: Would you like to date a tank? You can now do it in a Japanese game.
« Reply #14 on: March 28, 2016, 09:28:13 am »
I would say this is the weirdest thing I've seen, but I've seen one erog game where all the characters except you are female versions of various historic figures like Oda Nobunaga and Napoleon. (Granted it plays like some weird bastard child of Fire Emblem and Nintendo Wars)

I may be wrong, but I don't believe that Fate/Grand Order is an eroge. For one thing, as far as I know, there isn't a single sex scene in the game, which is... kind of required for it to be an eroge, by definition.
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