Author Topic: Leaked Tapes of Jacob Harrison's YouTube series  (Read 49 times)

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Offline niam2023

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Leaked Tapes of Jacob Harrison's YouTube series
« on: June 29, 2018, 04:02:50 am »
Jacob: I believe God has rejected this universe for not having divine right of kings and ice cream that doesn't melt. We must go to the other universe where there will be kings and ice cream that stays ice cream and does not turn into yucky liquid that God hates.

Shawn: But Jacob I am roiling with the brainwashing of the hetero-same sex-homosex conspiracies all bubbling around me! Isn't going to another universe the same thing as a date?

Jacob: The truth is Shawn there is no such a thing as the Silver Spoon of sexual orientation. Gay guys and straight guys can pork whoever they want to pork and only be judged if they dither outside the accepted ideas of what their label entaisl.

Shawn: But Jacob that makes totally no sense at all and there was a spelling error at the end!

Jacob: GET IN THE PORTAL SHAWN!

(they jump in the portal evading the demon aliens, alien demons and demon possessed aliens)

Jakob: We are in an alternate universe now where it is 1470 despite being 2018. Time is convoluted and space is bendable!

(thus they go right to the point where King Edward IV was about to fuck the living daylights out of his queen)

Jakob: We must stop the King Edward IV because he would dethrone King Henry VI and make the entire British throne illegitimate. Shawn? Shawn what are you doing?

Shawn: Despite being the real version of King Edward he is being played by Max Irons, and my eyes are glued on to the fine British ass on this warrior king. Let me polish his boots and hang his coat over my head because I am a confusing sexual fucker.

Jakob: FUCK!

(time and space bend again)

Jakob: Great now because of your inability to grasp my simple lessons about traditionalist sexuality and the concept of a silver spoon of sexuality not existing, we have been spacebent again and now we are at the final battle for the crown of Henry. If we do not win here, the Yorkists in the War of Roses will be of the chasing Margaret to the land of France, a place of depravity, bread and cookies.

Shawn: Imma go to France.

Jakob: I am betrayed and abandoned by my own friend! The only thing that remains is to run to the distant tower and hide myself in its basement.
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Offline dpareja

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Re: Leaked Tapes of Jacob Harrison's YouTube series
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2018, 05:02:31 am »
In the next episode, in the alternate universe the cousin's towel dropped, ripping the fabric of that universe apart from the sheer immorality of a woman's nipples and/or vagina being exposed directly to the air and, potentially, Jacob's sight.
Quote from: Jordan Duram
It doesn't concern you, Sister, that kind of absolutist view of the universe? Right and wrong determined solely by a single all-knowing, all powerful being whose judgment cannot be questioned and in whose name the most horrendous acts can be sanctioned without appeal?

Quote from: Supreme Court of Canada
Being required by someone else’s religious beliefs to behave contrary to one’s sexual identity is degrading and disrespectful.