Author Topic: Why the traditional 1980s Star Wars Canon is superior to the SJW Disney one  (Read 1359 times)

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Offline Jacob Harrison

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There will be some woman in the Tolpuddle Martyr Australian Republican Foundation who will consent.
Ok, so you want me to get a bunch of hippy chicks, punk girls, teachers, academics, trade unionist women and geeks. Assemble them in a bar under false pretenses of a ladies pub trivia night, hold the turkey baster aloft like Excalibur and ask which one of them wants to be impregnated with the seed of a king?

Also, to lie back and think of England!

Don’t you think at least one of the women will agree to marry the heir and be impregnated with his seed? Tell them that since she will become part of the future royal family, she will become very rich.
Dude, your list of women depends on me. They would be cut from the same lefty, nerdy cloth-rather similar to the FSTDT women who recoiled at the very concept of you and any woman would first have to be convinced of the chances of success of your mad little scheme.

Shall we do that survey now?

Well the amount of money she will get by being part of the royal family will certainly be a motivation.

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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There will be some woman in the Tolpuddle Martyr Australian Republican Foundation who will consent.
Ok, so you want me to get a bunch of hippy chicks, punk girls, teachers, academics, trade unionist women and geeks. Assemble them in a bar under false pretenses of a ladies pub trivia night, hold the turkey baster aloft like Excalibur and ask which one of them wants to be impregnated with the seed of a king?

Also, to lie back and think of England!

Don’t you think at least one of the women will agree to marry the heir and be impregnated with his seed? Tell them that since she will become part of the future royal family, she will become very rich.
Dude, your list of women depends on me. They would be cut from the same lefty, nerdy cloth-rather similar to the FSTDT women who recoiled at the very concept of you and any woman would first have to be convinced of the chances of success of your mad little scheme.

Shall we do that survey now?

Well the amount of money she will get by being part of the royal family will certainly be a motivation.
Ok, Jake. Your plan revolves around a woman being both cartoonishly greedy and dumber than anything in the Annelida phylum and were sure there's nothing innately misogynist about that. Regardless.

If you found the most greedy, ruthless, sociopathic, gold digging, sugar-babe harpy imaginable and presented your plan, as described to us to said woman this would happen.

And it would be glorious!

Offline niam2023

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I'd pay good money to watch Jacob make frantic porcine noises upon being pepper sprayed.
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Offline Jacob Harrison

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There will be some woman in the Tolpuddle Martyr Australian Republican Foundation who will consent.
Ok, so you want me to get a bunch of hippy chicks, punk girls, teachers, academics, trade unionist women and geeks. Assemble them in a bar under false pretenses of a ladies pub trivia night, hold the turkey baster aloft like Excalibur and ask which one of them wants to be impregnated with the seed of a king?

Also, to lie back and think of England!

Don’t you think at least one of the women will agree to marry the heir and be impregnated with his seed? Tell them that since she will become part of the future royal family, she will become very rich.
Dude, your list of women depends on me. They would be cut from the same lefty, nerdy cloth-rather similar to the FSTDT women who recoiled at the very concept of you and any woman would first have to be convinced of the chances of success of your mad little scheme.

Shall we do that survey now?

Well the amount of money she will get by being part of the royal family will certainly be a motivation.
Ok, Jake. Your plan revolves around a woman being both cartoonishly greedy and dumber than anything in the Annelida phylum and were sure there's nothing innately misogynist about that. Regardless.

If you found the most greedy, ruthless, sociopathic, gold digging, sugar-babe harpy imaginable and presented your plan, as described to us to said woman this would happen.

And it would be glorious!

There are greedy men and women out there who are willing to do anything to become richer.

Offline Lana Reverse

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And you want this woman to have the ear of an absolute monarch.

Beware those who hate the rich more than they love the poor.

Offline niam2023

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This kind of thing has happened allegedly prior where a hedonistic greedy woman got the ear of an absolute monarch. That woman was Da Ji / Dakki and it ended with a whole lot of people tortured to death.
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Online Askold

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Let's not forget this one: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eliza_Lynch She seduced the guy who became the next president of Paraguay and encouraged him to become a bloodthirsty dictator. She kept urging him on all the way on his path to massive war against three other countries, mass murders and executions in Paraguay and to top it all off, after Paraguay was decimated she seduced a random officer from one of the invading armies and left with him.

(Also, traditional history claims that 90% percent of the male population over the age of 10 was killed in the war and that's the number I've always seen but turns out that later historians have disproven this and 3% national casualties are more likely though it is likely impossible to get the exact numbers.)
No matter what happens, no matter what my last words may end up being, I want everyone to claim that they were:
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
Aww, you guys rock. :)  I feel the love... and the pitchforks and torches.  Tingly!

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Still, these real life women got the ear of men who already had power.

Something is missing in this equation.

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Still, these real life women got the ear of men who already had power.

Something is missing in this equation.

Well the plan will make her son or daughter the monarch, so she will agree to it, knowing that it will make her rich in the future.

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Still, these real life women got the ear of men who already had power.

Something is missing in this equation.

Well the plan will make her son or daughter the monarch, so she will agree to it, knowing that it will make her rich in the future.
Your plan involves breaking multiple laws in multiple jurisdictions, thousands keeping the whole thing secret, an armed conflict between two nuclear armed NATO powers going the way you want and the consent of millions..

..including one woman, in spite of your established capacity to repel them and me, who's primary motivation in our discussions has been to wring more batshit crazy out of you.

You don't disappoint!

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Still, these real life women got the ear of men who already had power.

Something is missing in this equation.

Well the plan will make her son or daughter the monarch, so she will agree to it, knowing that it will make her rich in the future.
Your plan involves breaking multiple laws in multiple jurisdictions, thousands keeping the whole thing secret, an armed conflict between two nuclear armed NATO powers going the way you want and the consent of millions..

..including one woman, in spite of your established capacity to repel them and me, who's primary motivation in our discussions has been to wring more batshit crazy out of you.

You don't disappoint!

Well when the people involved in the plan become MPs in the House of Commons and since the Prime Minister will be regent of England Since the crowned monarch will be the child of the women, they will have the power to declare war. Nuclear weapons will not be used, because mutually assured destruction prevents countries from wanting to use them even in times of war.

Offline Art Vandelay

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Well, unless some infant or toddler is capable of figuring out the whole Brexit mess and unfucking the railways (among other things), I can't imagine many Brits will really give a shit.

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Well, unless some infant or toddler is capable of figuring out the whole Brexit mess and unfucking the railways (among other things), I can't imagine many Brits will really give a shit.

Well it will be too late, because they would already be tricked into electing the secret members of the organization into the House of Commons

Offline ironbite

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Hey dumbfuck.  How does any of your wacky and wild conspiracy theories have anything to do with Star Wars?

Ironbite-or fucking your second cousin?

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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So now your plan requires the current British House of Commons to become organised?

« Last Edit: July 13, 2018, 07:20:56 pm by Tolpuddle Martyr »