Author Topic: God granted me wisdom in how to convert you guys to Roman Catholicism!  (Read 260 times)

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Offline Sleepy

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I've never had sleep paralysis before. Does that mean the demons favor me since they're not assaulting me?

No it means that your house is not haunted by demons. If you use ouija boards or do occult Satanic rituals inviting  demons into your home, then they will come and assault you.

If people can so easily summon spirits you consider evil, then what about summoning benevolent ones? That'd probably go a lot further if you're trying to convert people, really.
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

If a clown eats salmon on Tuesday, how much does a triangle weigh on Jupiter? Ask Mr. Wiggins for 10% off of your next dry cleaning bill. -Hades

Offline Jacob Harrison

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I've never had sleep paralysis before. Does that mean the demons favor me since they're not assaulting me?

No it means that your house is not haunted by demons. If you use ouija boards or do occult Satanic rituals inviting  demons into your home, then they will come and assault you.

If people can so easily summon spirits you consider evil, then what about summoning benevolent ones? That'd probably go a lot further if you're trying to convert people, really.

You can summon benevolent spirits when you pray for the saints to intercede on your behalf.

Offline Askold

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Meanwhile, in the Star Wars thread Jason is proposing to kidnap an Aussie and force him to wank so the British can invade France!

I think he's going for the sleep deprivation psychosis angle because he realizes his arguments have all the appeal of rotting fish and feces in a bucket.

Let's be fair: His plan included rape because he doesn't think that he can convince some old guy to become the king of a nation BUT at the same time he thinks he can...

a) Convince millions of people to go with his plan of setting up a new king (or a completely random woman pregnant with the child of a guy who didn't want to be a king) as the leader of their country.

b) Convince millions of people to fight in a war for said king or other ruler.

c) Somehow not get his and everyone else's asses kicked at any part of this plan that includes violating laws, attempted coup, a massive war against NATO and anyone else who'd likely join in.


Somehow you'd think that convincing someone of becoming a king of a massive kingdom would be the easiest part of this "divine plan" but Jacob here doesn't think he can manage even that.
No matter what happens, no matter what my last words may end up being, I want everyone to claim that they were:
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
Aww, you guys rock. :)  I feel the love... and the pitchforks and torches.  Tingly!