Author Topic: What the Bible says about masturbation.  (Read 988 times)

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Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: What the Bible says about masturbation.
« Reply #15 on: July 23, 2018, 08:05:58 pm »
I am not sure whether I am impressed or disappointed that he didn't bring up the story of Onan.

I thought about it, but decided to include this New Testament verse because it’s from the New Testament. But Onan is also an example of biblical condemnation of masturbation.

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: What the Bible says about masturbation.
« Reply #16 on: July 23, 2018, 08:37:37 pm »
I am not sure whether I am impressed or disappointed that he didn't bring up the story of Onan.

I thought about it, but decided to include this New Testament verse because it’s from the New Testament. But Onan is also an example of biblical condemnation of masturbation.
By all means don't bust a nut. Your repressed sexual impulses lead to plenty of hilariously batshit copy.

So hold on to that lily-white virginity and not on to your poor neglected pecker. Let those blue balls hang. G'wan, amuse us Jakey-boy.

Offline niam2023

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Re: What the Bible says about masturbation.
« Reply #17 on: July 23, 2018, 09:50:50 pm »
Nah I'm not gonna obey some sort of idiotic religious doctrine.

The whole "wouldn't she be offended you were THINKING of her like that" is some thoughtcrime shit. And no, I wouldn't care if some prude was offended I was masturbating about them. It'd make my dick harder.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2018, 09:54:24 pm by niam2023 »
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Offline Lana Reverse

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Re: What the Bible says about masturbation.
« Reply #18 on: July 23, 2018, 09:58:38 pm »
I am not sure whether I am impressed or disappointed that he didn't bring up the story of Onan.

I thought about it, but decided to include this New Testament verse because it’s from the New Testament. But Onan is also an example of biblical condemnation of masturbation.

Just like you fundies, stripping context so that you can justify your little agendas.

Quote from: Genesis 38:6-10
Judah got a wife named Tamar for his firstborn, Er. But Er, Judah's firstborn, greatly offended the Lord, so the Lord took his life. Then Judah said to Onan, "Unite with your brother's widow, in fulfillment of your duty as brother-in-law, and thus preserve your brother's line."

Onan, however, knew that the descendants would not be counted as his; so, whenever he had relations with his brother's widow, he wasted his seed on the ground, to avoid contributing offspring for his brother. What he did greatly offended the Lord, and the Lord took his life too.

Onan wasn't killed for spilling his seed, but for not performing his Levirate duty out of greed. Read this for a more in-depth explanation.
Beware those who hate the rich more than they love the poor.

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: What the Bible says about masturbation.
« Reply #19 on: July 24, 2018, 07:33:53 am »
I am not sure whether I am impressed or disappointed that he didn't bring up the story of Onan.

I thought about it, but decided to include this New Testament verse because it’s from the New Testament. But Onan is also an example of biblical condemnation of masturbation.

Just like you fundies, stripping context so that you can justify your little agendas.

Quote from: Genesis 38:6-10
Judah got a wife named Tamar for his firstborn, Er. But Er, Judah's firstborn, greatly offended the Lord, so the Lord took his life. Then Judah said to Onan, "Unite with your brother's widow, in fulfillment of your duty as brother-in-law, and thus preserve your brother's line."

Onan, however, knew that the descendants would not be counted as his; so, whenever he had relations with his brother's widow, he wasted his seed on the ground, to avoid contributing offspring for his brother. What he did greatly offended the Lord, and the Lord took his life too.

Onan wasn't killed for spilling his seed, but for not performing his Levirate duty out of greed. Read this for a more in-depth explanation.

Correct, that was the reason he was killed, however the verse also implies that spilling the seed goes against what the natural purpose of using the sexual organ’s for reproductive purposes.

Offline Lana Reverse

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Re: What the Bible says about masturbation.
« Reply #20 on: July 24, 2018, 11:01:08 am »
I am not sure whether I am impressed or disappointed that he didn't bring up the story of Onan.

I thought about it, but decided to include this New Testament verse because it’s from the New Testament. But Onan is also an example of biblical condemnation of masturbation.

Just like you fundies, stripping context so that you can justify your little agendas.

Quote from: Genesis 38:6-10
Judah got a wife named Tamar for his firstborn, Er. But Er, Judah's firstborn, greatly offended the Lord, so the Lord took his life. Then Judah said to Onan, "Unite with your brother's widow, in fulfillment of your duty as brother-in-law, and thus preserve your brother's line."

Onan, however, knew that the descendants would not be counted as his; so, whenever he had relations with his brother's widow, he wasted his seed on the ground, to avoid contributing offspring for his brother. What he did greatly offended the Lord, and the Lord took his life too.

Onan wasn't killed for spilling his seed, but for not performing his Levirate duty out of greed. Read this for a more in-depth explanation.

Correct, that was the reason he was killed, however the verse also implies that spilling the seed goes against what the natural purpose of using the sexual organ’s for reproductive purposes.

How so?

And what are your thoughts on female masturbation? Or accidental masturbation, for that matter?

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td4lgBVykGo" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td4lgBVykGo</a>
« Last Edit: July 24, 2018, 11:09:41 am by Lana Reverse »
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Offline Art Vandelay

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Re: What the Bible says about masturbation.
« Reply #21 on: July 24, 2018, 11:29:23 am »
Well, if my worm burping habits really pisses on Sky Daddy's nipples this much, I feel like he can at least tell me in person. If you are the best he can muster, I somewhat suspect that he's not quite as powerful as he'd have us all believe.

Hell, what if you've got it all wrong, and it really fingers his funpipe when folks consult with Professor Hans Jerkhoff? It'd explain why he does absolutely nothing to stop me from dropping trou and shaking the serpent. Not to mention, why he sent you your second cousin in a towel, as well as your constant and and insatiable denim boners. In fact, what if he's just a massive pervert who created the whole universe just so he could watch people bash the bishop? If every time you refuse make hand love to your throbbing man kebab, you're straying further and further from his light? What then? You'll find yourself banished to purgatory, only to be granted entry to the Kingdom of Heaven after you've filled the bucket. Is that truly what you want? I don't think it is. After all, Heaven has lightning fast 200kb/s wi-fi and all the tissue, Vasaline and towel-clad second cousins you could ever wish for.

Renounce your heretical ways, and release your Holy Water from their twin prisons, or risk the ire of Saint Peter the Beater at the Pearl Necklace Gates. Eternal bliss, and your second cousin's barely covered vagina await you, if only you embrace The Lord through your own todger.

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: What the Bible says about masturbation.
« Reply #22 on: July 24, 2018, 12:45:11 pm »
I am not sure whether I am impressed or disappointed that he didn't bring up the story of Onan.

I thought about it, but decided to include this New Testament verse because it’s from the New Testament. But Onan is also an example of biblical condemnation of masturbation.

Just like you fundies, stripping context so that you can justify your little agendas.

Quote from: Genesis 38:6-10
Judah got a wife named Tamar for his firstborn, Er. But Er, Judah's firstborn, greatly offended the Lord, so the Lord took his life. Then Judah said to Onan, "Unite with your brother's widow, in fulfillment of your duty as brother-in-law, and thus preserve your brother's line."

Onan, however, knew that the descendants would not be counted as his; so, whenever he had relations with his brother's widow, he wasted his seed on the ground, to avoid contributing offspring for his brother. What he did greatly offended the Lord, and the Lord took his life too.

Onan wasn't killed for spilling his seed, but for not performing his Levirate duty out of greed. Read this for a more in-depth explanation.

Correct, that was the reason he was killed, however the verse also implies that spilling the seed goes against what the natural purpose of using the sexual organ’s for reproductive purposes.

How so?

And what are your thoughts on female masturbation? Or accidental masturbation, for that matter?

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td4lgBVykGo" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td4lgBVykGo</a>

Because it is referred to as wasting his seed, implying that it is a waste to ejaculate semen for not reproductive purposes.

The Catholic Church condemns male masturbation and female masturbation. And how can masturbation be accidental? I know about accidental orgasms happening in sleep, but that does not involve touching the genitals.

Offline Lana Reverse

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Re: What the Bible says about masturbation.
« Reply #23 on: July 24, 2018, 01:59:03 pm »
I am not sure whether I am impressed or disappointed that he didn't bring up the story of Onan.

I thought about it, but decided to include this New Testament verse because it’s from the New Testament. But Onan is also an example of biblical condemnation of masturbation.

Just like you fundies, stripping context so that you can justify your little agendas.

Quote from: Genesis 38:6-10
Judah got a wife named Tamar for his firstborn, Er. But Er, Judah's firstborn, greatly offended the Lord, so the Lord took his life. Then Judah said to Onan, "Unite with your brother's widow, in fulfillment of your duty as brother-in-law, and thus preserve your brother's line."

Onan, however, knew that the descendants would not be counted as his; so, whenever he had relations with his brother's widow, he wasted his seed on the ground, to avoid contributing offspring for his brother. What he did greatly offended the Lord, and the Lord took his life too.

Onan wasn't killed for spilling his seed, but for not performing his Levirate duty out of greed. Read this for a more in-depth explanation.

Correct, that was the reason he was killed, however the verse also implies that spilling the seed goes against what the natural purpose of using the sexual organ’s for reproductive purposes.

How so?

And what are your thoughts on female masturbation? Or accidental masturbation, for that matter?

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td4lgBVykGo" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td4lgBVykGo</a>

Because it is referred to as wasting his seed, implying that it is a waste to ejaculate semen for not reproductive purposes.

The Catholic Church condemns male masturbation and female masturbation. And how can masturbation be accidental? I know about accidental orgasms happening in sleep, but that does not involve touching the genitals.

So what's wrong with female masturbation? That doesn't involve "wasting seed".

And did you watch the video I posted?
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Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: What the Bible says about masturbation.
« Reply #24 on: July 24, 2018, 04:43:16 pm »
I am not sure whether I am impressed or disappointed that he didn't bring up the story of Onan.

I thought about it, but decided to include this New Testament verse because it’s from the New Testament. But Onan is also an example of biblical condemnation of masturbation.

Just like you fundies, stripping context so that you can justify your little agendas.

Quote from: Genesis 38:6-10
Judah got a wife named Tamar for his firstborn, Er. But Er, Judah's firstborn, greatly offended the Lord, so the Lord took his life. Then Judah said to Onan, "Unite with your brother's widow, in fulfillment of your duty as brother-in-law, and thus preserve your brother's line."

Onan, however, knew that the descendants would not be counted as his; so, whenever he had relations with his brother's widow, he wasted his seed on the ground, to avoid contributing offspring for his brother. What he did greatly offended the Lord, and the Lord took his life too.

Onan wasn't killed for spilling his seed, but for not performing his Levirate duty out of greed. Read this for a more in-depth explanation.

Correct, that was the reason he was killed, however the verse also implies that spilling the seed goes against what the natural purpose of using the sexual organ’s for reproductive purposes.

How so?

And what are your thoughts on female masturbation? Or accidental masturbation, for that matter?

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td4lgBVykGo" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td4lgBVykGo</a>

Because it is referred to as wasting his seed, implying that it is a waste to ejaculate semen for not reproductive purposes.

The Catholic Church condemns male masturbation and female masturbation. And how can masturbation be accidental? I know about accidental orgasms happening in sleep, but that does not involve touching the genitals.

So what's wrong with female masturbation? That doesn't involve "wasting seed".

And did you watch the video I posted?

Well since the bible condemns commiting adultry in the heart, it implies, that both male masturbation and female masturbation is both sex in the heart.

And yeah I saw that video. I don't think that Go Kart racing could cause accidental masturbation because your hands are on the steering wheel.

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: What the Bible says about masturbation.
« Reply #25 on: July 24, 2018, 05:03:15 pm »
Depends what you're steering with.

Hey Jacob, in that five minute oink video were you...

Yeah, now it makes sense.

Offline Lana Reverse

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Re: What the Bible says about masturbation.
« Reply #26 on: July 24, 2018, 08:58:02 pm »
Well since the bible condemns commiting adultry in the heart, it implies, that both male masturbation and female masturbation is both sex in the heart.

And yeah I saw that video. I don't think that Go Kart racing could cause accidental masturbation because your hands are on the steering wheel.

Why am I not surprised that you don't understand the female reproductive system?
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Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: What the Bible says about masturbation.
« Reply #27 on: July 24, 2018, 11:01:07 pm »
Well since the bible condemns commiting adultry in the heart, it implies, that both male masturbation and female masturbation is both sex in the heart.

And yeah I saw that video. I don't think that Go Kart racing could cause accidental masturbation because your hands are on the steering wheel.

Why am I not surprised that you don't understand the female reproductive system?
Just the female one?

Offline Lana Reverse

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Re: What the Bible says about masturbation.
« Reply #28 on: July 25, 2018, 12:00:45 am »
Well since the bible condemns commiting adultry in the heart, it implies, that both male masturbation and female masturbation is both sex in the heart.

And yeah I saw that video. I don't think that Go Kart racing could cause accidental masturbation because your hands are on the steering wheel.

Why am I not surprised that you don't understand the female reproductive system?
Just the female one?

You're right, I was being too generous.
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Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: What the Bible says about masturbation.
« Reply #29 on: July 25, 2018, 07:08:10 am »
I know the reproductive system. The process of Meosis creates 4 haploid gametes with half of the genes. During sex, the sperm cells ejaculate from the penis into the woman’s vagina, and one sperm cell gets to the egg cell, and the genes mix to create a new organism with unique DNA proving that life begins at conception and abortion is murder.

What does this have to do with go kart racing causing accidental masturbation?
« Last Edit: July 25, 2018, 10:22:08 am by Jacob Harrison »