Author Topic: A very important announcement  (Read 210 times)

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Offline Jacob Harrison

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A very important announcement
« on: August 29, 2018, 09:19:52 pm »
I did further research in English history and did research on the Anglo Saxon period. After Æthelred I of Wessex died in 871, his brother Alfred the Great became King despite the fact that he had two sons who later fought to claim their rightful thrones but were defeated.

Æthelred’s descendant by 1066 was ironically Harold Godwinson. Since his legitimate sons didn’t seem to have heirs, I am now tracing the line of succession from his brother Tostig to find the rightful heir.

Because of this, I am now pissed off that the Catholic Church gave a blessing to William the Conqueror’s invasion and am converting to Anglicanism again. Now I can masturbate again!

I was also recently visited by my parallel self from a parallel universe and a wizard merged us into one causing me to have memories from the parallel universe so now I am going to write about what happened in that universe to promote the English monarchist legitimist cause and how the rightful heirs can be restored and to teach a lesson on extramarital sex. It often causes disasters, though it is rare that it causes a Kingdom to fall like it did in the parallel universe. There are probably parallel universes where Republics fell over a cuckold.

Offline dpareja

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Re: A very important announcement
« Reply #1 on: August 29, 2018, 09:27:39 pm »
I thought Harold swore an oath to William to give him the crown.
Quote from: Jordan Duram
It doesn't concern you, Sister, that kind of absolutist view of the universe? Right and wrong determined solely by a single all-knowing, all powerful being whose judgment cannot be questioned and in whose name the most horrendous acts can be sanctioned without appeal?

Quote from: Supreme Court of Canada
Being required by someone else’s religious beliefs to behave contrary to one’s sexual identity is degrading and disrespectful.

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: A very important announcement
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2018, 09:31:17 pm »
I thought Harold swore an oath to William to give him the crown.

I now realize it was done under duress.

Offline dpareja

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Re: A very important announcement
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2018, 09:32:22 pm »
I thought Harold swore an oath to William to give him the crown.

I now realize it was done under duress.

But wasn't it an oath before God, one which can't be broken?
Quote from: Jordan Duram
It doesn't concern you, Sister, that kind of absolutist view of the universe? Right and wrong determined solely by a single all-knowing, all powerful being whose judgment cannot be questioned and in whose name the most horrendous acts can be sanctioned without appeal?

Quote from: Supreme Court of Canada
Being required by someone else’s religious beliefs to behave contrary to one’s sexual identity is degrading and disrespectful.

Offline Art Vandelay

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Re: A very important announcement
« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2018, 09:35:21 pm »
Two days. That has to be a new record.

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: A very important announcement
« Reply #5 on: August 29, 2018, 09:42:16 pm »
I thought Harold swore an oath to William to give him the crown.

I now realize it was done under duress.

But wasn't it an oath before God, one which can't be broken?

According to the Catholic Church it was an oath before God. To the English it was a forced oath.

Offline davedan

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Re: A very important announcement
« Reply #6 on: August 29, 2018, 09:59:14 pm »
Why do you keep getting merged by Wizards? Sounds a bit suss to me.

Offline dpareja

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Quote from: Jordan Duram
It doesn't concern you, Sister, that kind of absolutist view of the universe? Right and wrong determined solely by a single all-knowing, all powerful being whose judgment cannot be questioned and in whose name the most horrendous acts can be sanctioned without appeal?

Quote from: Supreme Court of Canada
Being required by someone else’s religious beliefs to behave contrary to one’s sexual identity is degrading and disrespectful.

Offline Kanzenkankaku

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Re: A very important announcement
« Reply #8 on: August 30, 2018, 03:53:27 am »
If you convert to a different branch of Christianity a certain number of times do you get a free coffee or something? Like one of those punch cards.

Offline niam2023

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Re: A very important announcement
« Reply #9 on: August 30, 2018, 04:02:59 am »
...you know, I think he's doing this entirely to make the plot of Parallel Hero completely nonsensical.
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Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: A very important announcement
« Reply #10 on: August 30, 2018, 06:36:07 am »
...you know, I think he's doing this entirely to make the plot of Parallel Hero completely nonsensical.

Well King Jaime can always be a son of one of the true heirs so it does not interfere with Parallel hero.

Offline dpareja

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Re: A very important announcement
« Reply #11 on: August 30, 2018, 10:11:49 am »
You really shouldn't be Anglican, since that denomination was established by a post-William monarch. You should probably convert to one of the popular religions in England circa 1060. (Which may mean remaining Catholic, of course.)
Quote from: Jordan Duram
It doesn't concern you, Sister, that kind of absolutist view of the universe? Right and wrong determined solely by a single all-knowing, all powerful being whose judgment cannot be questioned and in whose name the most horrendous acts can be sanctioned without appeal?

Quote from: Supreme Court of Canada
Being required by someone else’s religious beliefs to behave contrary to one’s sexual identity is degrading and disrespectful.

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: A very important announcement
« Reply #12 on: August 30, 2018, 04:42:50 pm »
Of course it makes your conversion business, both spiritual and political a bit fraught. Which true religion/monarch were we supposed to be barracking for today again?

Offline niam2023

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Re: A very important announcement
« Reply #13 on: August 30, 2018, 07:55:54 pm »
He should probably convert to Norse / Woden Worship. I hear Stinky the Barbarian is always looking for more schmucks to talk to about his Robin Hood Fanfic astonishing prophecy.

Its also the religion of the oldest, anglo-saxonest of lunatics.

...I really hope he goes for this. I do.
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Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: A very important announcement
« Reply #14 on: August 30, 2018, 08:37:22 pm »
You really shouldn't be Anglican, since that denomination was established by a post-William monarch. You should probably convert to one of the popular religions in England circa 1060. (Which may mean remaining Catholic, of course.)

But since the Catholic Church supported Williams invasion, I should convert to a Church associated with England since there isn’t other options.