Author Topic: The solution to Jacob's dilemma  (Read 349 times)

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Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« on: September 20, 2018, 05:17:18 pm »
Jacob worries that this  thread will become public knowledge. I have a solution.

This weekend, me and my family went on Vacation in my grandparent’s summer home on Cape Cod, a peninsula in Massachusetts with lots of summer homes and beaches. Unfortunetely the weather was not good enough to go swimming.

My 21 year old second cousin who I have barely ever seen in my life is staying there the whole summer because she has a summer job on Cape Cod. She is overall a very decent moral person however on Sunday she did one thing that was very immoral.

On Sunday, when my dad went home because of having to work during the week, and my grandparents were at some party at the house of one of my grandfather’s cousins, me and my mom came home from a baseball game. And my cousin said hi to us while wearing nothing but towels. If she was coming out of the shower, why the fuck did she not put clothes in the bathroom for her to get changed into before coming out of the shower?! Why did she not keep in mind that there are relatives of hers that are not her parents or siblings in the fucking house?! I immediately looked away and walked down into the basement where my bedroom there is.

I on the other hand was much more moral and cautious knowing that there was a women relative close to my age in the house. In the mornings, I made sure that she would not even see me in my pajamas by having a goal to take a shower and get in my day clothes before breakfast. On all the mornings, she was up before me, so I would stay in the basement, until she went to work. The bathroom was upstairs so I even held in my pee for such torturous long time that I was tempted to piss in empty water bottles in the basement.

Thankfully, me and my mom are leaving to go home tomorrow. Don’t worry, I do not have any degenerate sexual thoughts about her since she is too closely related since today’s definition of incest extends to 1st and 2nd cousins(influenced by the studies of inbreeding and genetic disorders). I was just shocked and revolted.

PRESERVED IN AMBER, COUSIN FAPPER! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

« Last Edit: September 20, 2018, 05:19:23 pm by Tolpuddle Martyr »

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2018, 05:46:00 pm »
Well those who see the post still won’t know that I am the author of the book so that post won’t become famous.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2018, 05:51:05 pm by Jacob Harrison »

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2018, 05:59:47 pm »
It will become famous.

The internet is forever.

You are doomed to be forever branded the great, denim-humping, cousin fapping, indecisive genologist of '18.

Too bad, so sad.

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2018, 06:05:17 pm »
It will become famous.

The internet is forever.

You are doomed to be forever branded the great, denim-humping, cousin fapping, indecisive genologist of '18.

Too bad, so sad.

But as I said, the post would only become famous if they knew I was the same person as the author of the book, which I will use a pseudonym for. When my account get’s deleted to cover up the evidence, people who see this will have no idea about the person quoted since the original post will be deleted.

Offline davedan

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2018, 06:27:39 pm »
Let me guess your pseudonym will be Harris Jacobson.

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2018, 06:43:41 pm »
It will become famous.

The internet is forever.

You are doomed to be forever branded the great, denim-humping, cousin fapping, indecisive genologist of '18.

Too bad, so sad.

But as I said, the post would only become famous if they knew I was the same person as the author of the book, which I will use a pseudonym for. When my account get’s deleted to cover up the evidence, people who see this will have no idea about the person quoted since the original post will be deleted.
Well, you'd better go about deleting your account here then. What are you waiting for?

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #6 on: September 20, 2018, 06:46:57 pm »
It will become famous.

The internet is forever.

You are doomed to be forever branded the great, denim-humping, cousin fapping, indecisive genologist of '18.

Too bad, so sad.

But as I said, the post would only become famous if they knew I was the same person as the author of the book, which I will use a pseudonym for. When my account get’s deleted to cover up the evidence, people who see this will have no idea about the person quoted since the original post will be deleted.
Well, you'd better go about deleting your account here then. What are you waiting for?

I will be a long time before that happens because it will take a while to write the book.

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2018, 07:26:40 pm »
You will be too absorbed in genology, conspiracies and wizards by then. You will forget. Best to delete your account now just to be safe.

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #8 on: September 20, 2018, 07:52:46 pm »
You will be too absorbed in genology, conspiracies and wizards by then. You will forget. Best to delete your account now just to be safe.

I do have a good memory.

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #9 on: September 20, 2018, 08:17:23 pm »
You will be too absorbed in genology, conspiracies and wizards by then. You will forget. Best to delete your account now just to be safe.

I do have a good memory.
Remember 'oink?'

The internet is forever, Jacob.

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #10 on: September 20, 2018, 08:22:43 pm »
You will be too absorbed in genology, conspiracies and wizards by then. You will forget. Best to delete your account now just to be safe.

I do have a good memory.
Remember 'oink?'

The internet is forever, Jacob.

Nobody is able to see that video anymore since it’s deleted.

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #11 on: September 20, 2018, 09:51:54 pm »
But everyone remembers, forever Jacob. For ever!

Offline Art Vandelay

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #12 on: September 21, 2018, 12:51:06 am »
It will become famous.

The internet is forever.

You are doomed to be forever branded the great, denim-humping, cousin fapping, indecisive genologist of '18.

Too bad, so sad.

But as I said, the post would only become famous if they knew I was the same person as the author of the book, which I will use a pseudonym for. When my account get’s deleted to cover up the evidence, people who see this will have no idea about the person quoted since the original post will be deleted.

Hey Jakey. Did you know about the Wayback Machine? It's a website that allows you to browse other sites as they were in the past. So even if you delete your account, people will still be able to access it and pretty much everything you said, and they most definitely will be able to verify that Tol's quote did indeed come from you.

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #13 on: September 21, 2018, 07:39:47 am »
It will become famous.

The internet is forever.

You are doomed to be forever branded the great, denim-humping, cousin fapping, indecisive genologist of '18.

Too bad, so sad.

But as I said, the post would only become famous if they knew I was the same person as the author of the book, which I will use a pseudonym for. When my account get’s deleted to cover up the evidence, people who see this will have no idea about the person quoted since the original post will be deleted.

Hey Jakey. Did you know about the Wayback Machine? It's a website that allows you to browse other sites as they were in the past. So even if you delete your account, people will still be able to access it and pretty much everything you said, and they most definitely will be able to verify that Tol's quote did indeed come from you.

I checked that site and the last time this site was archived was April 21, which was before I came here. But to prevent my posts from being archived, I better delete my account quickly. So goodbye Fstdt people. My final question is does deleting an account delete all the posts made by the account?
« Last Edit: September 21, 2018, 08:44:01 am by Jacob Harrison »

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #14 on: September 21, 2018, 07:40:31 am »
But everyone remembers, forever Jacob. For ever!

The only people who will remember are the people who saw my posts which is you guys.