Author Topic: The solution to Jacob's dilemma  (Read 478 times)

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Offline The_Queen

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #15 on: September 21, 2018, 08:13:40 am »
So, did he boink his cousin or not?
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Offline ironbite

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #16 on: September 21, 2018, 09:09:29 am »
No.  She made fun of his tiny penis and then went back to being a lesbian because nobody can compete with niam.

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #17 on: September 21, 2018, 11:30:17 am »
Now I have another dilemma. Yesterday I sent an email to one of the FSTDT mods on the main site, asking if the mods will agree to not reveal to the world that I am the author of the book to prevent the quote about my second cousin from becoming famous, but she didn't respond. So now I am worried that the mods might reveal the truth to the world and the post will become famous.

Offline The_Queen

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #18 on: September 21, 2018, 11:47:12 am »
No.  She made fun of his tiny penis and then went back to being a lesbian because nobody can compete with niam.

Well, this thread has been... anticlimactic.
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Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #19 on: September 21, 2018, 12:09:46 pm »
I realized that a lot of people on FSTDT saw my posts about who the true heir is, so if the book is published, my FSTDT quotes may be revealed to the world anyway. So maybe I should make a youtube animation instead of a book since the animation would become less famous. Darn it, if I didn't make that post about my second cousin, I could have made good money off of the book.

Offline Art Vandelay

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #20 on: September 21, 2018, 12:16:28 pm »
You go through "true heirs" like Niam and your cousin go through condoms, so needless to say, you wouldn't get even a single chapter done before deciding it should be another one of the pricks because reasons.

Offline Skybison

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #21 on: September 22, 2018, 02:17:57 am »
Dude a man bragged about how much he wants to fuck his daughter on national television and got elected the president of the United States, you've got nothing to worry about.

Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #22 on: September 22, 2018, 03:59:01 am »
Dude a man bragged about how much he wants to fuck his daughter on national television and got elected the president of the United States, you've got nothing to worry about.

But my second cousin and her side of the family would be pissed about the post about her immoral behavoir.

Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #23 on: September 22, 2018, 04:24:50 am »
Dude a man bragged about how much he wants to fuck his daughter on national television and got elected the president of the United States, you've got nothing to worry about.

But my second cousin and her side of the family would be pissed about the post about her immoral behavoir.
So you haven't asked dad for her hand in marriage yet?

Offline The_Queen

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #24 on: September 22, 2018, 11:13:11 pm »
Dude a man bragged about how much he wants to fuck his daughter on national television and got elected the president of the United States, you've got nothing to worry about.

But my second cousin and her side of the family would be pissed about the post about her immoral behavoir.
So you haven't asked dad for her hand in marriage yet?

Oh, so he may boink his cousin again at a later date.

Okay, this story got interesting in a Jerry Springer, Trainwreck sort of way. Do keep telling me what is going on.
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Offline rookie

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #25 on: September 23, 2018, 10:10:52 am »
He doesn't want her anymore, now that Niam found her. See, Jake, I used to be a fairly active member here. Niam knows me and knows I have lots of family in the Sandwich area of the Cape. He also knows I spent much time there. Using my family connections I was able to find her and send him the relevant information. It's now the talk of anyone who speaks with a Kennedy "R".
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Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #26 on: September 23, 2018, 11:05:31 am »
He doesn't want her anymore, now that Niam found her. See, Jake, I used to be a fairly active member here. Niam knows me and knows I have lots of family in the Sandwich area of the Cape. He also knows I spent much time there. Using my family connections I was able to find her and send him the relevant information. It's now the talk of anyone who speaks with a Kennedy "R".

But Niam later admitted that he was lying that he had sex with her.

Offline Askold

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #27 on: September 23, 2018, 11:41:28 am »
I just came back here to let Jacob know that if he gets tired of trying to find out who the king of England is here's a candidate: https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/comments/9i6tm2/lawful_rebellion_against_the_queen_under_clause/

He knows about as much of the British laws as Jacob does and seems about as likely to succeed in his plan. If the two of them join forces maybe they'll get to be roommates in jail.
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Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #28 on: September 23, 2018, 12:12:16 pm »
I just came back here to let Jacob know that if he gets tired of trying to find out who the king of England is here's a candidate: https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/comments/9i6tm2/lawful_rebellion_against_the_queen_under_clause/

He knows about as much of the British laws as Jacob does and seems about as likely to succeed in his plan. If the two of them join forces maybe they'll get to be roommates in jail.

That guy isn’t a true heir, he is just someone proposing a rebellion. But that makes him someone I can team up with in my plan to restore the true heir to the throne.

Offline Askold

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Re: The solution to Jacob's dilemma
« Reply #29 on: September 23, 2018, 01:22:20 pm »
What makes you think that his claim to the throne is any worse than whoever it is that you support this week?
No matter what happens, no matter what my last words may end up being, I want everyone to claim that they were:
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
Aww, you guys rock. :)  I feel the love... and the pitchforks and torches.  Tingly!