Author Topic: How Art Vandelay stole Christmas  (Read 1003 times)

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Offline Shawn Jackson

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How Art Vandelay stole Christmas
« on: December 23, 2018, 08:54:45 pm »
Hi first of all, I am not Jacob Harrison. Our IP’s only matched because I was at his house that day using his WiFi. Anyway Since Art Vandelay admitted that he was messing with me with his “curses foiled again comment”, me and Jacob wrote this humiliating story that takes place in the parallel universe as revenge. It is a prequel to Jacob’s Halloween Story.

It was December 24, 2017 in the parallel universe. Art Vandelay was driving through Sydney Australia when he saw that a Catholic Church were handing out Christmas decorated cookies.

“Mmm, those cookies look delicious,” he said.

He got out of his car and walked up to the nuns who were handing out the cookies.

“Me want cookies,” he said.

“Are you a member of the Church?” asked one of the nuns.

“No, I am atheist but I came here for the cookies.”

“I’m sorry but these are Christmas cookies and Christmas is a Christian holiday.”

“Fuck your religion! These cookies are mine!” He then grabbed the cookies.

Before he was able to eat him, the nuns grabbed him, took the cookies back, pinned him to the ground and spanked him.

“Take that you immoral atheist thief!” they said. Art went home crying.

“Those fucking Catholics! I’ll show them! I’ll be like the Grinch and steal presents from a Catholic  family!”

So that night he disguised himself as Santa Claus and broke into the house of a Catholic family he knew, by climbing up a ladder onto the roof and going down the chimney.

He went into the house. A young boy in the family said “Santa!”

“Ho! Ho! Ho!” said Art. “Now go back to bed little boy, and tomorrow you will see what presents I brought.”

After the boy went to bed, Art started packing up the presents in a bag. All of a sudden he heard a thump on the roof. He then heard jingling bells and someone coming down the chimney. Out came the real Santa Claus.

“You do exist.”

“Yes,” said Santa. “I am bringing additional presents that their parents did not pack. And what the fuck are you doing here imposter!”

“I was uh, also delivering additional presents.”

“I think that you are trying to steal their presents! Now get out before I will make it known that you are trespassing. I myself will be excused for doing so because they will see the reindeer outside.”

Art tried running away but Santa grabbed him. It led to a fight and Art accidentally knocked a candle over. The house caught on fire. Luckily the alarm sounded and the family evacuated. Santa walked out still grabbing Art. The reindeer immediately got off the roof and went into the front yard.

“Santa exists!” the parents exclaimed.

“Yes,” said Santa. “And this imposter broke in and tried to steal your presents.”

“I came to take them from you because I am upset with Catholics because of what they did to me today. I fulfilled my goal of getting rid of your presents because they are now burning in the fire.”

“We are not going to cry over it” said the father “because us Christians know that presents are not the true meaning of Christmas. The true meaning is Jesus.”

They then started singing Hark the Harold Angels Sing.

“And now, I will give you your just punishment for this” said Santa. He stuffed Art in a package and took him away in his sleigh. The package was taken to another house

On Christmas morning, the package was opened. The person who opened the package was Jackie O, one of Australia’s most hated celebrities.

“Hello there,” said Jackie O. Your my greatest Christmas present this year.”

Jackie O then proceeded to rape Art. He later reported it to the police but they did not believe him because it is uncommon for a woman to rape a man. He became famous for the rape accusation and the fact that a Fstdt Forums member from Australia became famous gave Lana Reverse/Bethicia the idea to have him and Tolpuddle Martyr’s souls get harvested to gain more power which happened in this story. http://forums.fstdt.net/index.php?topic=8092.0
« Last Edit: December 23, 2018, 08:59:07 pm by Shawn Jackson »

Offline Art Vandelay

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Re: How Art Vandelay stole Christmas
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2018, 09:06:48 pm »
Hi first of all, I am not Jacob Harrison. Our IP’s only matched because I was at his house that day using his WiFi. Anyway Since Art Vandelay admitted that he was messing with me with his “curses foiled again comment”, me and Jacob wrote this humiliating story that takes place in the parallel universe as revenge. It is a prequel to Jacob’s Halloween Story.
No, you misunderstood. What I meant was that I was foiled in my quest to impart some rather important knowledge to you.

Also, that's not what happened in a parallel universe. That's actually exactly what I did last year in this universe. Come on, you really need to get your shit together.

Offline Shawn Jackson

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Re: How Art Vandelay stole Christmas
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2018, 09:13:41 pm »
Hi first of all, I am not Jacob Harrison. Our IP’s only matched because I was at his house that day using his WiFi. Anyway Since Art Vandelay admitted that he was messing with me with his “curses foiled again comment”, me and Jacob wrote this humiliating story that takes place in the parallel universe as revenge. It is a prequel to Jacob’s Halloween Story.
No, you misunderstood. What I meant was that I was foiled in my quest to impart some rather important knowledge to you.

Also, that's not what happened in a parallel universe. That's actually exactly what I did last year in this universe. Come on, you really need to get your shit together.

Ok. I sure hope your telling the truth and if I find out your not, then me and Jacob may need to come up with another revenge plan. I was taking notes about escape and freedom while watching the Skyrim like you told me to, and the player playing Skyrim chose to join the Stormcloaks who want freedom from the Empire. Am I on the right track?

Also, the fact that it mentioned that this is prequel to the Halloween story proves that it took place in the parallel universe because you died in the Halloween story while your alive in this universe, proving that these stories happened in the parallel universe.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2018, 09:19:44 pm by Shawn Jackson »

Offline Art Vandelay

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Re: How Art Vandelay stole Christmas
« Reply #3 on: December 23, 2018, 09:20:55 pm »
Ok. I sure hope your telling the truth and if I find out your not, then me and Jacob May need to write another story. I was taking notes about escape and freedomhile watching the Skyrim like you told me to, and the player playing Skyrim chose to join the Stormcloaks who want freedom from the Empire. Am I on the right track?
You are indeed. Just make absolutely sure you don't miss anything, and by the end of it, you should be good.
Also, the fact that it mentioned that this is prequel to the Halloween story proves that it took place in the parallel universe because you died in the Halloween story while your alive in this universe, proving that these stories happened in the parallel universe.
So you're telling me that by complete coincidence, my parallel self and my regular self just so happened to do exactly the same thing last year, including being forced into the vagina of a "celebrity" that no one has even thought about in over ten years? Well, I guess it's true what they say, the more things change, the more things stay the same.

Offline davedan

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Re: How Art Vandelay stole Christmas
« Reply #4 on: December 23, 2018, 09:31:08 pm »
This is another profile made in June. This is some fucking elaborate planning.

Offline Shawn Jackson

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Re: How Art Vandelay stole Christmas
« Reply #5 on: December 23, 2018, 09:33:44 pm »
Ok. I sure hope your telling the truth and if I find out your not, then me and Jacob May need to write another story. I was taking notes about escape and freedomhile watching the Skyrim like you told me to, and the player playing Skyrim chose to join the Stormcloaks who want freedom from the Empire. Am I on the right track?
You are indeed. Just make absolutely sure you don't miss anything, and by the end of it, you should be good.
Also, the fact that it mentioned that this is prequel to the Halloween story proves that it took place in the parallel universe because you died in the Halloween story while your alive in this universe, proving that these stories happened in the parallel universe.
So you're telling me that by complete coincidence, my parallel self and my regular self just so happened to do exactly the same thing last year, including being forced into the vagina of a "celebrity" that no one has even thought about in over ten years? Well, I guess it's true what they say, the more things change, the more things stay the same.

Me and Jacob did research on the internet and thought that it showed that Jackie O is one of Australia’s most hated celebrities which would make it a huge punishment by Santa when he delivered you to her house to be raped by her.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2018, 09:39:11 pm by Shawn Jackson »

Offline Art Vandelay

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Re: How Art Vandelay stole Christmas
« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2018, 09:55:32 pm »
Me and Jacob did research on the internet and thought that it showed that Jackie O is one of Australia’s most hated celebrities which would make it a huge punishment by Santa when he delivered you to her house to be raped by her.
Eh, you'd have been better off with Kyle Sandilands, methinks.

Offline davedan

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Re: How Art Vandelay stole Christmas
« Reply #7 on: December 23, 2018, 10:18:23 pm »
They probably decided that Jackie O had a better chance of raping you.

Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: How Art Vandelay stole Christmas
« Reply #8 on: December 24, 2018, 08:15:21 am »
Get a new hobby.
Σא

Offline rookie

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Re: How Art Vandelay stole Christmas
« Reply #9 on: December 24, 2018, 09:16:38 am »
Wait. So your revenge plans revolve around writing short stories where a character based on a guy you know from the internet gets embarrassed? Damn, i can't hang out with you guys. You play too rough!
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Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Re: How Art Vandelay stole Christmas
« Reply #10 on: December 24, 2018, 01:57:57 pm »
Jacob has a thing for rapey slashfic where women rape dudes, totally normal. Nothing to see here.

Offline Art Vandelay

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Re: How Art Vandelay stole Christmas
« Reply #11 on: December 24, 2018, 08:18:47 pm »
Just FYI, my Christmas this year was very similar to last years. Only now, it was the corpse of Stan Zemanek who had his way with me at Santa's behest.

Offline davedan

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Re: How Art Vandelay stole Christmas
« Reply #12 on: December 26, 2018, 10:25:20 am »
I didn't know Stan was dead?

Offline Art Vandelay

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Re: How Art Vandelay stole Christmas
« Reply #13 on: December 26, 2018, 07:39:31 pm »
Yeah. What, you never saw this absolute gem back in the day?
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtxqohNtLIg" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtxqohNtLIg</a>

Offline davedan

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Re: How Art Vandelay stole Christmas
« Reply #14 on: December 26, 2018, 09:14:58 pm »
That was fantastic. I was thinking of Sam Kekovich not Stan Zemanek anyway.