Wishes Will Be Corrupted

[PosthumanHeresy]

Granted. However, you never made that wish, so it isn't, so you make it, causing a time paradox and sticking you in a loop.

I wish for a Klondike bar.

[Ghoti]

Granted. However, you never made that wish, so it isn't, so you make it, causing a time paradox and sticking you in a loop.

I wish for a Klondike bar.

Granted. You have to do terrible, terrible things to get it.

I wish my parents didn't spout forced-birth bullshit within earshot of me ever again.

[PosthumanHeresy]

Granted. They spout pro-rape bullshit instead.

I wish I was an Oscar Mayer weiner.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted. You get eaten and are conscious through the whole experience, including the digestion and later pooping out.

I wish for the ability to call down lightning on those who deserve it.

[Ghoti]

Granted. You get eaten and are conscious through the whole experience, including the digestion and later pooping out.

I wish for the ability to call down lightning on those who deserve it.

Granted. The first person who deserves it is you.

I wish I could punch the stupid bitch who (inadvertently) outed me in Chem.

[PosthumanHeresy]

Granted. You get eaten and are conscious through the whole experience, including the digestion and later pooping out.

I wish for the ability to call down lightning on those who deserve it.

Granted. The first person who deserves it is you.

I wish I could punch the stupid bitch who (inadvertently) outed me in Chem.

Granted. She gets to punch back, though.

I wish I could get my brain stable.

[Ghoti]

Granted. You get eaten and are conscious through the whole experience, including the digestion and later pooping out.

I wish for the ability to call down lightning on those who deserve it.

Granted. The first person who deserves it is you.

I wish I could punch the stupid bitch who (inadvertently) outed me in Chem.

Granted. She gets to punch back, though.

I wish I could get my brain stable.

Granted. Everyone else goes bugfuck crazy, and you have be the only sane, stable person in a world of madness.

I wish my younger siblings would be erased from existence in such a way that they never existed at all (Ret Gone).

[PosthumanHeresy]

Granted. Your parents' fundieness is and always has been 100% focused on you.

I wish for food.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted, as soon as you go out and gather foodstuffs from the wild and prepare it for consumption yourself.

I wish more anime drew nude scenes anatomically correct, even non-hentai.

[PosthumanHeresy]

Granted. All anime is now loli anime, however.

I wish that people knew the difference between the mental disorder of paedophilia and the crime of child molestation.

[Ghoti]

Granted. All anime is now loli anime, however.

I wish that people knew the difference between the mental disorder of paedophilia and the crime of child molestation.

Granted. They become unable to tell the difference between genuine news and pointless shit-stirring OH WAIT

I wish Glorious Shotgun Princess was an expertly directed, perfectly casted, and visually stunning motion picture available in my area (don't you dare judge me).

[PosthumanHeresy]

Granted. All anime is now loli anime, however.

I wish that people knew the difference between the mental disorder of paedophilia and the crime of child molestation.

Granted. They become unable to tell the difference between genuine news and pointless shit-stirring OH WAIT

I wish Glorious Shotgun Princess was an expertly directed, perfectly casted, and visually stunning motion picture available in my area (don't you dare judge me).

Granted. However, all other awesome films are now Bollywood.

I wish bands didn't phone in covers.

[Ghoti]

Granted. All anime is now loli anime, however.

I wish that people knew the difference between the mental disorder of paedophilia and the crime of child molestation.

Granted. They become unable to tell the difference between genuine news and pointless shit-stirring OH WAIT

I wish Glorious Shotgun Princess was an expertly directed, perfectly casted, and visually stunning motion picture available in my area (don't you dare judge me).

Granted. However, all other awesome films are now Bollywood.

I wish bands didn't phone in covers.

Granted. They pour too much time and effort into making their covers perfect that their own music becomes a shitty afterthought.

I wish I could utterly pwn Harbinger whenever he hijacks a Collector.

[PosthumanHeresy]

Granted. You suck at killing the normal ones, though.

I wish I could get all Halo games to ever be made in the future, now, plus consoles to play them on.

[R. U. Sirius]

Granted, but the time paradox destroys the universe.

I wish evolution had favored people with a predisposition toward logic and reason more than groupthink and blind reactionism.