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Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 385388 times)

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Offline Random Gal

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2205 on: November 15, 2013, 02:36:27 pm »
Granted. You're fired.

I wish I could find a good paleontology-related job.
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Offline Ghoti

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2206 on: November 16, 2013, 12:38:19 am »
Granted. You work for an Intelligent Design museum and have to twist your facts to suit a "god did it 10,000 to 6,000 years ago" conclusion.

I wish my brother would keep it in his fucking pants.
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Long Live The Queen.

Quote from: niam2023 on November 04, 2015, 10:16:43 pm
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Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2207 on: November 16, 2013, 06:14:03 am »
Granted, his "fucking pants" is his pet name for your butthole.

I wish this cough would just fuck off already.
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Offline Indikins

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2208 on: November 16, 2013, 07:38:55 am »
Granted. You lose your job and are never re-employed ever again.

I wish I could drop to a Size 10 in pants.
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Quote from: chitoryu12 on October 15, 2013, 12:50:43 am
Quote from: Indikins on October 15, 2013, 12:19:14 am
I once had a nightmare about chickens pecking me to death on my driveway. I told my sister to save herself.

This is the #1 nightmare.

Offline Askold

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2209 on: November 16, 2013, 08:03:26 am »
Granted, but your upper torso gathers all the fat you lost from your legs.

I wish I had a donut.
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Offline Indikins

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2210 on: November 16, 2013, 08:10:54 am »
Granted. A giant donut the size of Australia drops on your head and kills everyone in an extremely large radius.

I wish for a perfect boyfriend/girlfriend who will never leave me.

(Edit: For god's sake the site never tells me if someone's posted while I'm writing.)
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Quote from: chitoryu12 on October 15, 2013, 12:50:43 am
Quote from: Indikins on October 15, 2013, 12:19:14 am
I once had a nightmare about chickens pecking me to death on my driveway. I told my sister to save herself.

This is the #1 nightmare.

Offline Ghoti

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2211 on: November 16, 2013, 12:09:44 pm »
Granted. S/he stalks you for the rest of your life.

I wish my friend that I've been crushing on liked me back.
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Long Live The Queen.

Quote from: niam2023 on November 04, 2015, 10:16:43 pm
Burn fire! Hellfire! Now Anita, its your turn! Choose GamerGate, or your pyre!
Be mine or you will buuurn!!

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2212 on: December 19, 2013, 02:45:29 am »
Granted. Specifically, they like you done medium-well and served with barbecue sauce.

I wish to get funding to start my own successful chainmail business.
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Offline Random Gal

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2213 on: December 19, 2013, 03:15:25 am »
Granted. A nuclear apocalypse wipes out most of the world's infrastructure and technology, forcing people to resort to much more primitive forms of combat for survival. Your chainmail is highly appreciated as a result.

I wish I hadn't failed calculus.
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Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2214 on: December 19, 2013, 03:18:20 am »
Granted. You failed algebra instead.

I wish the dogs would stop barking in their sleep.
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Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2215 on: December 19, 2013, 10:36:55 am »
Granted, now they start howling in their sleep.

I wish that I had superpowers.
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Offline Ghoti

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2216 on: December 19, 2013, 11:01:06 am »
Granted. Your superpower is that you can make raw eggs spin really fast.

I wish I could get paid without having to work.
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Long Live The Queen.

Quote from: niam2023 on November 04, 2015, 10:16:43 pm
Burn fire! Hellfire! Now Anita, its your turn! Choose GamerGate, or your pyre!
Be mine or you will buuurn!!

Offline Flying Mint Bunny!

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2217 on: December 20, 2013, 04:23:25 pm »
Quote from: SmokingDodongo on December 19, 2013, 11:01:06 am
Granted. Your superpower is that you can make raw eggs spin really fast.

I wish I could get paid without having to work.

Granted. You are now Kim Kardashian.

I wish I could just magically make a drink without having to go all the way to the kitchen.
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Offline Ghoti

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2218 on: December 20, 2013, 05:10:07 pm »
Granted, that drink is your own piss.

I wish I could figure out whether a friend/coworker wants to date me or is just being nice.
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Long Live The Queen.

Quote from: niam2023 on November 04, 2015, 10:16:43 pm
Burn fire! Hellfire! Now Anita, its your turn! Choose GamerGate, or your pyre!
Be mine or you will buuurn!!

Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2219 on: December 20, 2013, 11:43:15 pm »
Granted. It's this thing called "asking". If you try it out, you should get your answer in a matter of seconds.

I wish it wasn't so damn hot.
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