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Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 384031 times)

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Offline I am lizard

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2325 on: September 22, 2014, 11:26:05 am »
Granted, you now remember everything, even that incident with the owls and the dipping sauce, in perfect detail.

I wish my toaster was gold.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2014, 06:33:31 pm by I am lizard »
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Offline Random Gal

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2326 on: September 22, 2014, 12:27:57 pm »
I wish Lizard had made a wish.
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Offline I am lizard

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2327 on: September 22, 2014, 06:33:01 pm »
Granted, he uses uses your own response to do so.

I wish I had a cup of water.
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Offline Zygarde

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2328 on: September 22, 2014, 08:16:28 pm »
Granted it's full of pathogens and other bad things


I wish that I didn't have to deal with the annoyance of Job training in the Air Force and get right to running AC-130 tv's
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Offline Ghoti

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2329 on: September 22, 2014, 10:46:23 pm »
Granted. We switch places, and you now have to deal with the annoyance of finding something to wear to a job fair tomorrow.

I wish I could change the color/length/texture of my hair at will.
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Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2330 on: September 22, 2014, 11:21:54 pm »
Granted. Any time you use that power you lose half of your hair follicles, soon leaving you with a single hair on your left foot. You can control it like crazy though.

I wish I had a book.
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Offline Ghoti

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2331 on: September 23, 2014, 01:07:39 am »
Granted. It's Fifty Shades of Gray.

I wish I wasn't depressed.
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Quote from: niam2023 on November 04, 2015, 10:16:43 pm
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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2332 on: September 23, 2014, 01:56:43 am »
Granted, you're now manic.

I wish for $1000.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2333 on: September 23, 2014, 10:48:59 am »
Granted. You sell your testicles for testicle-transplant experiments.

I wish I knew how to perfectly counter anyone's incorrect beliefs, such that they'd be forced by their own logic/mindset to agree.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Ghoti

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2334 on: October 24, 2014, 01:12:59 am »
Granted. Cognitive dissonance is still stronger than your logic, and you fail to change anybody's mind.

I wish I already had the job I'm interviewing for. 
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Long Live The Queen.

Quote from: niam2023 on November 04, 2015, 10:16:43 pm
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Offline I am lizard

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2335 on: October 24, 2014, 01:27:45 am »
Granted, you end up working minimum wage 12 hours a day in a cubical. If you're lucky you might die of a heart attack early.


I wish I worked at the SCP foundation.
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Offline Svata

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2336 on: October 24, 2014, 01:31:52 am »
Granted. You die horribly to [CLASSIFIED-FORCIBLY REDACTED].


I wish I could perfectly predict how a die will roll.
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Offline I am lizard

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2337 on: October 24, 2014, 01:42:59 am »
Quote from: Svata on October 24, 2014, 01:31:52 am
Granted. You die horribly to [CLASSIFIED-FORCIBLY REDACTED].


I wish I could perfectly predict how a die will roll.
Granted, you also realize that everything is predetermined and thus free will is irrelevant to the world around you.
Enjoy that gambling money as you stare blankly into the infinite, empty sky.

I wish 4 meat.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2338 on: October 24, 2014, 02:28:51 am »
Granted. You're gangbanged by four very well-hung pre-op transgenders.

I wish for Cracked.com to update more than once a day.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Random Gal

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2339 on: October 24, 2014, 09:32:49 am »
Granted, but the quality of each update sucks.

I wish R. U. Sirius hadn't given such an offensive answer to the last wish.
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